Daniel's Tulpa Progress Log

[CyberD]

Well good luck. I hope you and your tulpa are successful.

[CyberD]

Imposition training continues

While working on daily sessions I'm also trying to push imposition into my daily routine. There is a very fine line between having Nova around and having Nova around while focusing on imposition. The only real difference is keeping the possibility of him actually appearing to my senses on the table. The training has also been getting him more involved. I get distracted a little less each day which lets me notice new things about him.

Just now I focused on him while I was having breakfast. Instead of just talking to him though I let him have his own breakfast. Now Nova doesn't need to eat but that doesn't mean he can't enjoy it. I noticed he is both a slow eater and a clumsy eater.

"Just because you don't eat much doesn't mean you have to be bad at it."

"I'm just not very good at it all right."

 

Being Profound

We often have conversations about Nova saying being profound. People tend to learn the most in a moment when they regard something said as being profound. It happens a lot in media.... but it also happens in real life. In particular I'm talking about moments I read in other peoples progress reports. They'll start with "Great progress today." and then ramble about how their tulpa said something incredible to them.

I think I'm past this point with Nova. My life isn't some huge drama that yields any profound moments at all. While I would love for Nova to be able to say or do something incredible to help us along it isn't going to happen. Our progress has to be built on little moments, small successes that accumulate to yield positive results. Breakfast this morning was one of those little moments. My imposition session last night (no matter how short or broken up it was) was one of those moments. Any time spent is good time and it all adds up.

 

Dreaming

Dreaming is how I got into tulpa. In our society dreaming is pretty much ignored. To look into dreaming requires an open mind. Much like tulpa does. Though dreaming might seem a little less farfetched since we all should have at least some experience and knowledge of it. When I created Nova it was to help me to lucid dream. A special kind of dreaming where you realize you are dreaming. Nova improved my focus on dreaming. I had better dreams and remembered more of them because he helped me to focus. It also gave him a purpose and helped me to focus on him.

Last night I had a regular dream except for one tiny detail. I was Nova. I've never been Nova in a dream before and while I was in this dream it didn't click as unusual. Have I become so used to Nova that even being him doesn't make my alarm bells ring. True that while dreaming the mind accepts just about anything but I still found in interesting. In the dream I got into a fight with a henchman. He couldn't even touch me because Nova can become intangible (like a ghost).

I bring dreaming up though because in the past I wrote a guide about how you can use a "character" to help you dream. The guide is pretty outdated (since it was before I discovered "tulpa") so I'd like to write a new one about how a tulpa can be used to help dreaming.

Since the two ideas, tulpa and dreaming, both revolve around understanding the mind I think they go pretty well together. Maybe by writing a new guide someone might have some luck with it.

[Yoko]

Dreaming

Dreaming is how I got into tulpa. In our society dreaming is pretty much ignored. To look into dreaming requires an open mind. Much like tulpa does. Though dreaming might seem a little less farfetched since we all should have at least some experience and knowledge of it. When I created Nova it was to help me to lucid dream. A special kind of dreaming where you realize you are dreaming. Nova improved my focus on dreaming. I had better dreams and remembered more of them because he helped me to focus. It also gave him a purpose and helped me to focus on him.

Last night I had a regular dream except for one tiny detail. I was Nova. I've never been Nova in a dream before and while I was in this dream it didn't click as unusual. Have I become so used to Nova that even being him doesn't make my alarm bells ring. True that while dreaming the mind accepts just about anything but I still found in interesting. In the dream I got into a fight with a henchman. He couldn't even touch me because Nova can become intangible (like a ghost).

I bring dreaming up though because in the past I wrote a guide about how you can use a "character" to help you dream. The guide is pretty outdated (since it was before I discovered "tulpa") so I'd like to write a new one about how a tulpa can be used to help dreaming.

Since the two ideas, tulpa and dreaming, both revolve around understanding the mind I think they go pretty well together. Maybe by writing a new guide someone might have some luck with it.

 

I would be really interested in this guide! ^_^ I've had a few lucid dreams before, all of which were incredible but I don't really control which ones become lucid. I refer to Azazel as Dream Giver, Nightmare Bringer, Mind Torturer but somehow it never occurred to me to ask him to help me with Lucid Dreams. I guess I got caught up in other stuff :P I like to dream but I don't like to sleep so I don't usually plan ahead or work on getting into a lucid dream, I sort of just hope whenever I go to sleep I win the lucid dream lottery. Anyway, sorry for the ramble. Just wanted to let you know I'm interested.

[Guest]

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Edited May 2 by Guest

[CyberD]

 

I would be really interested in this guide! ^_^ I've had a few lucid dreams before, all of which were incredible but I don't really control which ones become lucid. I refer to Azazel as Dream Giver, Nightmare Bringer, Mind Torturer but somehow it never occurred to me to ask him to help me with Lucid Dreams. I guess I got caught up in other stuff :P I like to dream but I don't like to sleep so I don't usually plan ahead or work on getting into a lucid dream, I sort of just hope whenever I go to sleep I win the lucid dream lottery. Anyway, sorry for the ramble. Just wanted to let you know I'm interested.

 

Hi. I'm by no means an expert but since I started this with lucid dreaming in mind then perhaps I'll be able to offer something that can help you out. Giving your tulpa a purpose like helping you to lucid dream can really help them get involved. When they get involved it helps you become more aware which can lead to success. Of course I'll try to go into more detail in a guide but it'll probably take a few days. I'll have to find some time to sit down and focus on it.

 

 

Well, based on my occasional normal dreams in which I am Neila, I also came to the conclusion that I may be so used to Neila that being her is not unusual enough to make me lucid. However, there has been a time where I actually identified myself (a lot) with Neila, but that was before I made her a tulpa, back when she was only an original character that I daydreamed about a lot.

Funny how the mind works while it's sleeping. It goes to all of the trouble to create fictional and fully interactive worlds but it forgets to achieve a state that is easily attained during the day, awareness.

My dreams usually just involve me and my old school friends. Never have I met Nova in a normal dream and not realized I was dreaming. And of the dreams I have met him in at least 2/3's of them required me to go looking for him specifically. I have to work on my consistency or I'll never figure it out. Stable lucid dreams everyday should be possible but sometimes that seems like a goal that is out of reach.

 

More imposition training

Still working on imposition training but I still haven't had much success. While keeping imposition in mind as much as possible I did stumble across a moment I wasn't expecting. While I was just waking up, and while still half asleep, I managed to get see an image of Nova on the back of my eyelids. Not just some mind eye stuff like I can do all the time either, this was more real than that. I saw colour in the blurs, mostly skin tone and assisted by my minds eye visualization I figured Nova was sitting with his back against the side of my bed, which he does a lot when he's feeling lazy. When I opened my eyes just a little the blur remained for just a moment.

 

But Daniel, you are clearly grasping at blurry straws that are way out of reach.

Perhaps, but for me this is some of the best progress I've had in a few days. Maybe by pursuing imposition while in a half awake state where the mind is easily tricked might be the starting point I need.

 

More visualization as well

Sessions of visualization come so easily to me that I find myself being distracted by them instead of doing other things, like imposition specific training. They give me a chance to work with Nova with no specific goal in mind which makes the whole tulpa concept enjoyable instead of a chore like some might perceive it. I'm glad I'm able to enjoy the time I spend with Nova. It creates the motivation and desire to succeed with the more complex aspects of tulpa (imposition and dreaming at the moment) and even though we are making very little (if any) progress with either of those things we remain motivated enough to continue working on them.

[CyberD]

Eternally young

Nova and I sometimes discuss serious topics, I find it interesting to see what he makes of the issues that are critical to his very being. Usually he just gives me simple but fair answers since he's not really the type to philosophize. I think that leads back to my ideas on over-complication.

Anyway. This morning I asked him about his age.

 

I've never really decided how old Nova is. There are several components to it which make it complicated. His "physical" body is something between 12 and 14. He has been independent for just over six months but do I add my age when I started to that or not? So really he could be anything between six months and twenty two years.

 

I guess it comes down to how I perceive him, since that's all a tulpa really is. How I perceive his age is what it is. By that logic it means his mind can mature but his body will remain the same. Without realizing it I have created a boy who is forever young. It gets me to wondering, how many of us actually have tulpa that will age? Will your tulpa grow older with you or will they remain in the same body they have now for the rest of their life?

Forever young is a blessing and a curse. You stay young forever of course but you have to watch as those around you get older.

It kinda reminds me of Peter Pan. I'm not very familiar with it but I'm pretty sure it was based around an issue like this. More relevant though (at least in my mind) would be Astro Boy. I haven't watched it for a while but I remember one particular episode that revolved around the boy robot realizing he would stay young while his friends grew old. Adding to that him questioning his own sentience and whether or not he was real or not, since he's an artificial intelligence, and you end up with a story that is rather similar to the tulpa process but that has absolutely nothing to do with it.

 

"What do you think about all of this Nova?"

"I am what I am."

[CyberD]

Forums are back, thats good, means I can ramble some more. Doesn't even matter if no one reads it because putting it into words helps me understand it better.

 

Presence

When you first create a tulpa you notice it because it is something new. Like a kid with a new toy you give the tulpa heaps of attention because it's something new to you. When the new sensations fade and you become more used to the tulpa often times it seems people grow bored of the idea. You see a progress log that is only one or two pages long. The tulpa will be around for a week, maybe a month and then the person moves on and tries something else. It's a real shame.

 

In a way I've gone through something similar with Nova. Now fear not, let me explain. Nova isn't new to me anymore I am used to his presence. Instead of growing bored and forgetting about him he has instead taken another role. He's gone from an experiment that was new and exciting to becoming a little brother like figure.

I am so used to his presence now that I almost take it for granted. He's always around, sometimes doing his own thing, sometimes just watching. It's difficult to imagine how I'd feel if his presence wasn't there anymore.

Now I know he really isn't my brother but it's the best way I can describe it, if I'd told myself six months ago this imaginary boy would become like a brother I'd probably be intrigued to say the least (you thought I was going to say crazy.) It wasn't at all what I was expecting when I created him but I love that that's how it went.

 

The moral? Don't take your tulpa for granted. Figure out what they mean to you.

 

Presents

Christmas is coming. I know, it's not really tulpa related but still. I don't like Christmas. I'm a Grinch. I find buying presents for other people to be stressful and I don't want the inevitable pile of chocolates and underwear that I'll end up being given. I'd rather just get together and have a nice meal without all the presents... but that isn't how it works anymore....

 

Thinking of presents though. I've heard of people giving their "imaginary friends" presents, celebrating their "imaginary friends" birthdays. But, I've never heard anything like that regarding tulpa. I suppose it'd kinda work the same way and anyone who does would probably be labelled as crazy.

That said, has anyone here celebrated something with their tulpa? While the notion of giving gifts is nice I don't see any realistic way to apply it to tulpa.

(end nonsensical rant)

[DjscrwU]

Yo CyberD, this is Mib78[fs], Mods said I can change my name but i didn't want to bother Pleeb until the forums were back up.

 

Anyway, glad to be seeing your reports again already! They always keep me focused and aware of how important it is to never let your tulpa drift away. I particularly liked this last one because I really have noticed that my life is filled with her presence now, and I almost fear the thought of trying to push her away.

 

Keep em coming! This is going to be my go-to forum for anyone i convert to tulpamancy in the future :D

[CyberD]

Hey there. Good to see you posting. I'll have to remember this new username too.

Keep focused and keep at it.

[CyberD]

Still moving forward. Still making progress, just really, really slowly.

 

Improving my visualization

The other day while working I saw several boys who would have been about Nova's age. Normally while working all I see are slow old people but it seems now the school holidays have started there are more people out and about. Watching these boys for a moment I got to thinking about the way Nova conducts himself compared to others "his age".

One particular boy was with two boys a few years older than him (maybe they were his older brother and his older brothers friend) The way they were walking and talking reminded me a lot of what I'm trying to achieve with Nova when I'm visualizing him while I'm out and about. They seemed to be having fun but I noticed the younger boy was more animated than the two older ones. They came up to a puddle on the side of the road and the two older boys moved away while the younger one noticed only at the last second, he panicked in a silly way and did a quick few steps to get away before a car drove though it.

It really does come down to the little things. The little details you notice during the day with your tulpa are the most important ones. I've been trying to get Nova to interact with the environment more, to react to external stimuli and not just base everything he does on my actions. Nova enjoys making fun of the fact he can't actually interact with things, he'll try to open doors for me, he'll try to push things around or if he's feeling brave he'll walk calmly through a moving car. I imagine he acts quite similar to a boy his age who suddenly found he has ghost powers.

Keeping track of Nova helps keep my focus but I find I am best focused on him when he's really interacting. If he follows silently or we're relying on conversation then I often get distracted rather quickly. It is a very tricky skill to perfect but I'm still trying.

At the very least it's much more interesting than interacting with him only during forcing sessions.

 

Speaking of.

Tones

A couple of months ago I tried a tone supposed to help me to force. It did nothing for me and so I gave up on the idea. Last night I was feeling bored (or perhaps curious) so I decided to give a different one a try. This one was much better than the last one, I could tell as soon as I heard it. But, I'm still very skeptical. Of course I'm going to think it's just a placebo effect.

Using the tone during my session with Nova I found I was plagued by less outside thoughts. My visualization skills weren't really any better nor was my focus, but I had noticeably less outside thoughts. Far too often while talking with Nova (at any time of day) I find myself getting lost in meaningless thoughts, what if scenarios or similar distracting ideas. In this session I only noticed that happen once. That is certainly a record.

I dunno if that's good news for the tones or not but it won't hurt to try again.

Also, I should note that I had none of the side effects some people talk about. No headaches or pressure. My legs got a little sore from sitting still too long but that was about it.

It might also be worth noting that at one point I had a rather strong (by my standards) visualization of rain. It might have been because of the background noise in the tone track but it was still something.