Past tulpa - Need help and advice.

[IronNerd]

Some time last year I was in the process of creating a tulpa, she was never vocal or anything but we did lots of stuff together in our "wonderland" but I got overwhelmed with real life stuff at the time and had no time to force so I stopped.

 

I can still picture my wonderland perfectly but is it possible to continue where I left off with my tulpa or have I burned that bridge already?

 

I already feel really awful for abandoning her like that.

 

I was roughly 3 months into creation with her, this was about 9 months ago.

 

Any help or advice is appreciated.

[Tewi]

Yeah, you're (she's) fine. When you stop interacting with your tulpa for a long time the main thing that happens is regression of tulpa-related skills, such as speaking clarity, visualization clarity, and if you were early on in development maybe some independence. Tulpas also tend to "fade" a bit meaning they take a little while to become fully active again where the aforementioned things may be a problem. If your tulpa was never vocal then there shouldn't be any real noticeable effects on their part, just yours. Not usually a huge deal.

 

Keep doing what you were doing. Tulpas are usually pretty understanding, and unfortunately time dedication is a very common problem among tulpamancers. Do what you can and, when you can't, try and do some passive forcing to prevent that regression. If your life gets busy, still put aside at least a few minutes every day just to talk to them and visualize them. Even if you don't make any progress (though you might), you'll at least keep them from fading, which will make it easier to resume active forcing when you have the time.

[Guest Anonymous]

I agree with Tewi! Don't feel bad at all and just start again where you left off! Good luck my friend!

[jean-luc]

The only way a tulpa actually fully really dies is if either the physical body dies or if you completely forget the tulpa ever existed.

[Linkzelda]

I’m not sure if I’m a believer that tulpas will be inclined to understand the position you were in just like that (depends on their disposition, I guess), but that’s just my opinion. However, something I’ve learned that could happen regardless is that the whole demystifying nature with starting anew, or reconciling with a previous tulpa is probably hinged on breaking off the continuity you had with them. And because you’ve been off for a bit, it can be hard gluing that continuity again because there’s that “something-doesn’t-feel-right” kind of feeling when you try to do so. One worries if their tulpa is really the same as before, and the whole genuine matter comes into surface, and the person gets distracted in this win-lose situation where it’s about getting all those ticks of accuracy that it’s them like before, or bust.

 

Burning that bridge is probably due to a person wanting to create a conviction that the death, or chance of development is truly irreversible/not reconcilable. Sometimes it feels like a regression, and it’s probably due to conflicting feelings of their state of being. Whatever the case, if there’s nothing you think you can reconcile with, try to get into an autobiographical context over your journey with them. And what I mean by that—just remember all of the efforts you took to try and understand what it would mean for you to treat them as sentient. Feeling awful about it is only natural, but it’s a pain that can help you grow if you allow yourself to get out of that loop into thinking it’s continuity4days vs. BUST.

 

And most importantly, you may learn that establishing positive regard in spite of the circumstances you’re in is probably one of the basic things you can use as a fallback. Some undermine themselves so much that they can’t grasp at that capacity of growing, and shrivel up.

[Tewi]

Well, I said tulpas are understanding, not forgiving. Your tulpa can still be mad at you even if they understand why you did something. They may, for example, not agree with why you did something, and you can't argue with that when they understand fully well. But tulpas are usually pretty forgiving because of their understanding, too. Depends on the tulpa.

[Guest Anonymous]

Well, I said tulpas are understanding, not forgiving. Your tulpa can still be mad at you even if they understand why you did something. They may, for example, not agree with why you did something, and you can't argue with that when they understand fully well. But tulpas are usually pretty forgiving because of their understanding, too. Depends on the tulpa.

 

I'm still miffed about things my host did years ago. I remind him every now and then.

[Linkzelda]

Well, I said tulpas are understanding, not forgiving. Your tulpa can still be mad at you even if they understand why you did something. They may, for example, not agree with why you did something, and you can't argue with that when they understand fully well. But tulpas are usually pretty forgiving because of their understanding, too. Depends on the tulpa.

 

I wasn't even referring to you. That post was really a summation of how I responded in other threads in the past. Except this time, I tried to get to the core of what I really felt in responding in those threads. It was merely coincidence that your post reflected some contrast to mine. Really, I try not to go over the top because it ends up being a waste of time on my end if I do. I go all out in those other threads for deep thinking, or I at least constrict it to those.

[IronNerd]

Thanks for all the responses guys, after reading everything I decided I'm going to start forcing again and ill see what happens.

 

If we "re-connect" and she remembers.. well... ill take into account her feelings and that she might be angry or upset.

 

I know I said I felt awful but way back, but when we were doing stuff in our wonderland 9 months ago I promised her I would never give up on her, which makes me feel even worse. maybe I should not have said that at the time.

 

Either way if I manage to re-connect with her ill definitely have some apologizing to do.

 

Thanks again everyone for the responses.

[raymond13557]

my tulpas where royally mad at me for forgetting about them, they often dissipated for a while and came back, red said he'll forgive me but blue was less that forgiving. got the cold stare and she wouldn't talk to me for like 4 days.