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Stopped Tulpa-forcing for a long time, is my tulpa gone?


eViLe_eAgLe

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Hello Friends.

 

I have a question, so I forced and imposed about two years in the past, and it was at the point where I could faintly hear my tulpa in an almost sleep point, and always felt its presence (and still very rarely do, when I think about it) because of pressing issues in real life, I designated it a safe 'white' room in my wonderland where it could hide if it was in danger of being forgotten, where it could stay forever without being forgotten

My question is, how do I continue where I left off? And did the white room really work? I still get the feeling occasionally, which for me is the warming of the heart.

 

I get this feeling when I think about tulpas, and her in general.

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It depends. The best way to go about it is probably just to try again and find out. Reach out and see if you can get close to anything you had in the past, and perhaps she'll be there, maybe she won't. It's good that you think about her a bit and want her to be there, but the only way to really know is just some searching on your end.

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Believe that she will be there, and she most likely will be there. Don't half-ass this, however. Try and stop any kind of second thoughts/ doubts you have, meditate until they're gone, set up mantras to reinforce the whole thing even further. Do whatever you have to do to make yourself wholeheartedly believe.

 

Same thing's also valid for the saferoom thing. It's just a symbolic barrier you've put up to protect her. If you believe it works, then it does.

 

As for continuing from where you left off, do what feels right. If you think an apology is in order, then apologize from her. If you don't, then just jump right back in the process.

Despite what was told you, I do not like committing crimes. 

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Both Ford (fordaplot is his username) and Glitchthe3rd have ignored tulpas of theirs for long periods of time, only to come back to them later to find them weak, but alive. As long as you remember them, tulpas don't die. They just sink into darkness. In Ford's video, https://youtu.be/h4jcrAVFQZI?list=PLo69m...ClaWK6E1T8 at the 15:20 mark, his tulpa recalls what happened when she was abandoned.

 

Your tulpa is still alive, and will continue to live as long as you remember her. As for the white room thing, I'm not sure if it worked, because without Ford's attention, his tulpa stopped perceiving things. But, the mind is a strange beast, and it does things we don't expect, so the possibility exists.

 

My advice is to call her back, introduce yourself, apologize for the absence, and start forcing again. Try making a schedule, or passive forcing while you're going about your day doing things.

 

Best of luck!

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While it seems dependent per-system, Clara and Jessi here went to fade away a few months and came back with ease incidentally even with Kyle, who's the host, not even really hearing them or thinking of them much. I think it's entirely possible that your tulpa will be fine.

Hi, I am Sam. LostOne's (Or Kelly's) tulpa, first one, started back March 16th of 2016. - https://community.tulpa.info/user-lostone

 

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Yep, repeating what everyone else has said. I've had headmates come back after ten years of no attention. Pretty sure your piddly two isn't going to be much of a problem. It's all a matter of what finding whatever traits you associate with your tulpa and retraining your brain to put them all together again.

 

One thing that we find brings old headmates out? Doing something that our host associates with the tulpa. So, did you have a certain song that emotionally connect to your tulpa? Did you write any journal entries about them? Doodle their picture anywhere? Look through whatever you were doing two years ago, and see if any of it sparks.

~ Member of SparrowNR's System ~

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No, your tulpa isn't gone just because you haven't interacted with her in a long time. Similarly, hosts/tulpas can be revived if they're "killed", merges and splits can be undone, etc., although I tend to be skeptical of people who claim some of these more outlandish things. Because you've already used symbolism to lock your tulpa away in a place where she couldn't be be forgotten, I'd imagine that you'd use the same thing to bring her back, although that's not your only option - even doing something as simple as interacting with the essence of what your tulpa was until they're back to where they were at before you had to put things off is viable. If you believe that something will work, it likely will. It's your mind, man.

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If you're interested in more speculation on whether or not a tulpa is gone after not interacting with them for quite some time, check out this thread:

 

https://community.tulpa.info/thread-dissipation-the-end-of-a-tulpa-or-the-end-of-the-novelty-behind-them

 

IMO, to question the continuity of a tulpa is to question the host’s continuity of self over time. Depending on the circumstance, and how much context was built, any reconciliation of them coming back to you gets correlated with phenomenon like coming back in a weak state, or some kind of trip down regressed memory lane. Of course, that's just one of many analogies, so it isn't just contingent on circumstances that get chalked up as 'it's in the nature of what 'ought' to happen for forgotten encounters.'

 

And the funny thing is, does the host ever question a past self they happened to remember? Do they assume it’s all gone; that part of what probably shaped them was never a catalyst for the continuity of self they’re so accustomed to? If you go through a series of seeing rhetorical questions, you may realize that when it comes to your cognition, and how you treat a tulpa as sentient, to doubt if they still exist is probably doubting how the mind sustains instances of continuity of said tulpa.

 

So if you wanted to figure out what you could do vs. what you ‘ought’ to do, you could consider that you have to go back into an auto-biographical context, and reconcile with those memories you had with her. Kind of trying to sort out the existential quandary you may have went through with treating her as sentient; because in doing so, you’d have to look back over what validated you, as the host, as sentient as anyone else.

 

Trying to go deeper into something like that may leave one being paralyzed by their own intellect, and I think you honestly answered your question. It may not be fancy, and it may feel like there’s no hope, but that’s because maybe when one has to think things through that shift into an auto-biographical (or biographical, I guess, for a tulpa) context may involve the more infantile and fleeting thoughts and experiences; like the feeling of warmth you get from it all.

 

Use that experience, and build upon that, but you have to embrace your own intellect once more to figure out how you ‘ought’ to treat her as sentient.

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