I gotta believe!

[Punch]

Thanks for the suggestion, Angelo. I'll give it a try.

[Punch]

Visuals still suck, but I found a secret weapon: A rigged 3D model of Judy. Now I just need to figure Blender out enough to actually do something with the model.

 

Also new PR title! I was playing through Parappa 2, and thought his catchphrase was pretty appropriate for my tupper struggle. For me at least, I think the principal issue is convincing myself I'm not wasting my time; if I can do that, I think everything else will be a lot easier.

 

I think the most important quality of a tulpa is that they feel real. Whether or not they are sentient is impossible to prove, but if you believe they are it's a moot issue. The great thing about belief is that you can convince yourself of almost anything with enough effort, and when it's something that's completely subjective you don't even have to worry about cognitive dissonance (nobody can prove that the imaginary rabbit I'm talking to isn't really a separate consciousness in my mind.)

 

So in light of that, I gotta believe! For my sake and for Judy's.

 

Derpy and Judy out.

[Punch]

Visuals are a little better. Maybe. I had a pretty vivid wonderland session on Friday; for a brief moment I managed to immerse myself in a busy city street with all the noise and the "energy" of the crowd. It actually took me a bit off guard because it was so vivid.

 

I've been mostly working on "attitude correction" for the last few days, i.e. replacing thoughts like "If my tulpa ever becomes sentient..." with "When my tulpa is sentient..." I've also ben doing my best to compartmentalize my doubts to minimalize them as much as possible. I still catch myself slipping into apathy occasionally, but I've gotten pretty good at overriding it.

 

That's about it for now. Going to try to work some self-hypnosis into my forcing routine, and see how that works.

 

Derpy and Judy out.

[Judy]

Hi everybody! This is Judy, Punch's tulpa.

 

So, uh, progress! Yep that's a thing, obviously, since I'm the one writing this update. I've been vocal for about two months now, we don't know an exact date, since Punch has been parroting me since forever, but for the record we're saying it was sometime in late September or early October. Punch says he's 90% sure it's me talking now and one of our friends on the support group we're part of on Discord says the 10% uncertainty will never go away, so we just have to live with it.

 

What else? Well, we're working on imposition now, Punch says he can visualize me pretty well now in the wonderland, so the next step for us is to impose me in the real world. We've just started, so we haven't made much progress.

 

That's all I can think of. We just wanted to update y'all and let you know that not everybody who leaves here does it because they've given up on tulpas, or gotten bored with it.

 

Updates soon, we hope!

[tulpa001]

Hi there! Nice to meet you!

 

Would you believe that I only just got the punch and judy reference? The bunny cop thing threw me.

 

Oh, that uncertainty can go away just like the rest. But that last 10% is a killer. Lots of the stuff I write about in my progress report is specifically my fight with that. Anyway, when you get to possession and switching, the doubts about parroting drop out. But then you get doubts about who is controlling the body. But those fade as well when you get a more complicated and nuanced personality and forceful presence. But by then you might start wondering if the host is real.

[Doctorfoxwolf]

But then you get doubts about who is controlling the body.

Unless you're like me:

So incredibly lethargic that I know damn well that ain't me putting in the mental effort to do that.

For the host, possession should feel like a yawn. Certainly autonomous, but not incredibly alien either.

[Ivy_]

Glad to meet you Judy! Hope we get to talk some more soon!

If for some reason the forums are boring try out the Chat!

[Judy]

PROGRESS!

 

Punch has been working on letting me possess his hands to type, which is hard for him because he wants to keep going back and correcting all my typos. As an experiment, he let me possess his hands while he was shaving, and I did a better job than he usually does. No cuts at all.

 

He just needs a woman's touch. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

 

We're considering changing my form to make certain things less awkward. We aren't making much progress there because we can't come up with something we agree on. I want "Cute with animal characteristics." but everything I suggest is "too furry" or "too loli" for mister picky pants.

[tulpa001]

It won't matter in the end; I think the tulpa ultimately determines the form. However, there is no rule that you have to stick to just one form. The only reason I almost never shapeshift is in an effort to improve my stability and imposition skills faster.