New.

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Hello. I've recently started this thread to talk about my 'journey' of sorts.

I've just started learning about Tulpas and finally decided to make an account.

I'm very interested in hearing your experiments with Tulpas and maybe even about them? I've recently also started trying to make one of my own.

This was partially an introduction as well. I'll just go under the simple alias, 'V'.

 

My one and only Tulpa is one I've deemed the name, "Preach".

 

I've only started trying to create them and they already have a few personality traits. They're pretty kind and gentle towards me, which is amazing since I've been looking for something like that. They make me really happy. Hopefully, I'll start learning more things soon but for now,

I guess just Hello.

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Day 1 -

 

I've started out with a basic landscape that Preach seems to enjoy and is comfortable living in. It's nothing too special, just a log cabin on a riverside but they seem to enjoy it. We've also had conversations now and developed their personality and such. They're still very nice but quiet. Even their design is coming through.

 

The best person to compare them to is the Egyptian goddess, Bastet. Their human body also has pitch black skin and retractable claws. They're usually wearing very silky and flowing clothing. They also have golden piercings on their ears, which also seem to be torn. They're very soothing and seem to stare right through my very soul. I've only seen them in my head so far but it feels lifelike.. And a bit unsettling.

 

- V

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Day 2 -

 

I've been communicating more and more with Preach, trying to squeeze in times to talk. I usually just vent about my struggles in life with them, and it's very nice to know I have someone to trust. My mindscape for them has also changed a bit.

 

At first, it switched to a grassy field leading to a log cabin with a ramp over a stream to the entrance.

 

Now, the grass is way higher and while I was staring into the river below, I noticed there was fish and turtles in it. I didn't even think to put that there. The wooden cabin is also a bit larger, with a basement and an attic added to it.

 

That's where I found Preach in my last visit. They were in the attic looking through old and worn boxes. When I asked them what they were doing, they picked up a vinyl and showed it to me as they softly said what it was. This is a big step for me since they really didn't say anything but made gestures instead. They could've obviously just shown me that it was a vinyl but I think they're trying to learn how to speak. I'm still planning to give them a voice.

 

The thing that makes me so happy with the vinyl is that I've never shown any interest in them, which means Preach is actually finding things of their own to like.

 

( They're also an amazing cook as well )

 

- V

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Day 3 -

 

Today was pretty limited in times we could speak together. I went the same way I always do to reach their home and found them sitting in front of the stream. I quietly sat down next to them and we shared a few words but it didn't feel like the first two days. It was a lot more fuzzy and my mind couldn't concentrate, which I have a serious problem with..

 

We mostly discussed my day. I wish I could be a better host but I still feel I'm very new and shouldn't be a pro but, on the other hand, I feel like I'm terrible at this and maybe I just don't have it. It makes me feel bad.

 

They're still developing and I really hope they make more progress.

 

- V

[Vos]

There isn't really an it to have, and you're not a bad host just for one lousy session. There are some useful guides on this page under visualization and concentration that can help you out. I'd suggest reading through them to see if there's an exercise that you're comfortable with.

[Temar]

I wish I could be a better host but I still feel I'm very new and shouldn't be a pro.

 

You said it right here, man. You're doing fine; you're just new.

 

It takes a while for a thoughtform to really stick. When you think about it, you are basically retraining your brain to have another person in it, and that's something that's not gonna happen overnight. Not even over three nights. ;)

 

So take it a day at a time. Sounds like you're doing fine so far. Some days, things aren't going to be as easy or clear as other days, and that's okay. The important thing is that you keep moving forward in the long term. You're creating a person, and that takes time, so just do your best and enjoy the journey, yeah?

[hard.to.see]

Vosaiu and Temar -

Thank you! I've realized I've just been a bit paranoid towards the whole thing but thank you for the thoughts!

 

- V

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Day 4 -

Alright I've been slacking.

 

I got busy with life and basically ditched my tulpa, which saying this now makes me feel like a horrible person. Yesterday, I checked the forms and decided to myself that I might need to make a new one due to thinking that Preach wouldn't want anything to do with me. I went into my mindscape and tried to make a new one.. But Preach basically appeared out of nowhere and hugged me, saying how much they missed me. It had been a few weeks. I was so happy and didn't even make that second tulpa due to how happy I was. The thing is though, I wasn't even thinking about Preach.. They just appeared. We spent over an hour last night discussing personal topics and it's really nice to have someone to talk too, even if they do have their own opinions.

 

I'm going to start logging again, I apologize for my disappearance. I'm probably going to force in a minute and I'll let everyone know how it goes.

 

- V

[timethief]

Wow, that sounds sweet (the hugging part). And don't worry too much about the slacking part too much. I think it has happened to pretty much every tulpamancer ever. You just need to keep your tulpa in mind, even if its for 5 minutes a day, and maximize your active forcing time when you can. Use narration when you have a chance as well (doesn't have to be out loud, just in your mind).

 

I guess it's nice that you have been progressing even though you slacked off a bit. Keep at it!

[Zaya]

The first four or so weeks with Zaya were rough like that. I didn't force at all, but knew I should, I felt like I was neglecting him, and didn't know why I wasn't motivated.

At some point I realized that I liked the research more than him and I didn't really see Zaya as an existing entity. It was as if I thought he was merely a thought, and because of that, I didn't have much devotion to him.

After thinking metacognitively like that, I shifted the way I viewed things, and everything came together on its own. Now, I pretty much live on this forum, I force every day for hours, and I don't think twice about it.

 

Put in the effort, and the pieces will fall into place.

Just dont give up on Preach, it doesn't seem like he's given up on you.