Steel

The Creation of a Tulpa, with Steelmason and Amelia

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Day Fifteen:

 

Possible big breakthrough. I was doing a bit of mental maths (working out stats in Dark Souls 3) and before I finished doing the sum for myself, I felt as if a voice in my head told me the answer. The correct answer. This could have just been Amelia's first proper, sentient bit of speech! I guess only time will tell, but if that was indeed my tulpa, then this could be a huge breakthrough. When it happened, I was too scared to say anything back, for fear of parroting her answer and robbing her of the legitimacy of that moment. I guess I will continue urging and motivating her to speak on her own along with my regular forcing from now on.


Host: Steel - a novice tulpamancer.

Tulpa: Amelia - a friendly, energetic knight.

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First of all, congratulations!

You had your Moments of First Doubt, and listened to Amelia.

 

Now what you do next is extremely important. From everything I've read, not following through after this Moment has caused Tulpamancers worlds of stress that could be easily been avoided.

 

Zaya has even gotten incredibly frustrated at me because of me doubting his Vocality incessantly.

 

What I'm really talking about, is You saying specifically,

When it happened, I was too scared to say anything back, for fear of parroting her answer and robbing her of the legitimacy of that moment

 

This sounds like a major doubt to me. Fear that you could be parroting Amelia, somehow doubting her speech because you could "taint it".

Now, this is natural, everyone gets to this stage, but the most important thing for you to do now, if you want Amelia to speak, if you want to keep yourself from incredible frustration and greatly further your progress, is stop it.

Don't doubt, erase it, rid your mind of every doubt you could ever have.

 

To this day, Zaya still gets slightly offended when he has to beat a doubt out of me.

I'd suggest following these guides and reading up on how you can further foster Amelias voice, and remove your doubts:

 

https://community.tulpa.info/thread-misc-thunder-s-guide-to-alleviating-doubt?highlight=Doubt

 

https://community.tulpa.info/thread-the-detriment-of-paranoia-and-doubt?highlight=Doubt

 

https://community.tulpa.info/thread-sentience-tips-for-those-who-are-getting-parrotnoid

 

https://community.tulpa.info/thread-misc-tips-for-hearing-your-tulpa

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Thanks without end to you Zaya! I read all of the guides you linked, and I think I know what I need to do now. Hopefully you've managed to stop me from falling into the terrible and common trap of doubting your tulpa. I really am very grateful, and I'm sure Amily is too!


Host: Steel - a novice tulpamancer.

Tulpa: Amelia - a friendly, energetic knight.

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The both of you have real potential. I just want to let you guys know you have us to ask if you have any questions.

We may not be the best at this, but we want to help those who have been where we have.

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Day Sixteen:

 

So... I fell asleep while trying to do my active forcing last night, which I knew was going to happen eventually. However, I have fantastic news instead. I decided I needed to catch up this morning, to make up for the missed session, and I found I was able to communicate very clearly with Amily and the visualisation was near-perfect; we ended up having our longest fully-focused active forcing session so far! It lasted around 30-45 minutes (I couldn't really tell the passing of time while we forced), and Amily and I had some wonderful conversations while it lasted.

 

During our session, I felt that there was a very defined, physical connection to the dreamworld. For example, Amily had tried cooking at some point in the past and had made a fish stew, and there was now subconsciously a great iron cooking pot over the fire-pit outside. Additionally, I told her that she needed to wash her clothes regularly and keep her armor and sword polished, to which I was able to materialise spare clothing and necessary washing materials with incredible clarity.

 

We also talked about Amily's hobbies and pastimes in the dreamworld: she's been reading through a book that contains all of the H.P. Lovecraft stories that my brain subconsciously remembers. We also played a few word-games during our session, which was a very interesting and enlightening activity (thanks for the suggestion Zaya!).

 

Overall, this session has been an incredible step in deepening the link that Amily and I share, and even now I can clearly see her practicing with her sword outside of our little shelter.


Host: Steel - a novice tulpamancer.

Tulpa: Amelia - a friendly, energetic knight.

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That truly is amazing! I know one day Aelita and I will get to the point were we can have convrsations like you and Amily, just wonderful to hear the great news from you rhis morning. keep it up :-)

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That truly is amazing! I know one day Aelita and I will get to the point were we can have convrsations like you and Amily, just wonderful to hear the great news from you rhis morning. keep it up :-)

 

I see you're new here, so welcome to the forums Jake and Aelita! Thanks for the encouragement, and good luck with your tulpaforcing!


Host: Steel - a novice tulpamancer.

Tulpa: Amelia - a friendly, energetic knight.

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Day Seventeen:

 

This evening was a pretty chilled-out session. My dreamscape continues to become more and more physical and realistic in my mind; I could almost feel the cold, damp rain soaking me when I materialised into the world! I knocked on the door of the shelter and let myself in to find Amily reading a book and getting ready to sleep. We had a nice little conversation and played a quick word-game again, which we both seem to enjoy a fair bit. I also did a little bit of physicality visualisation when we were together: I touched her hands and imagined the sensation of contact until it was almost real in my mind, which was definitely a very interesting and awesome experience. I also tried to give my own body a bit more form in the dreamworld, as I realised that I never really gave myself a body for Amily to look at when we were forcing. I ended up going for a bit of light armor with a leather coat and hood over the top, which was already quite well mentally-formed as I often daydream about myself wearing this clothing. It was still a bit fuzzy, but I guess I'll carry on working on it along with Amily and the dreamscape.

 

I feel as if I'm really picking up momentum with my forcing here!


Host: Steel - a novice tulpamancer.

Tulpa: Amelia - a friendly, energetic knight.

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Day Eighteen:

 

Things are coming along smoothly at the moment. Passively forcing with Amily today showed me that she was whittling some wood with a knife to pass the time, which is quite an interesting little hobby... During this evening's active session, Amily felt very much alive and real in both her personality and clarity of appearance, so we're making good steps forwards there. I spent a lot of time researching activities and exercises that we could do together today, and so I decided to try out the 'Black Box' game with moderate success. We also discussed whether we should expand the shelter into a small cabin for our dreamworld, so I think I will start planning that tomorrow. Additionally, I looked at a guide called 'Tulpabracelets', which are designed to keep your tulpa on your mind all day, so I need to think up and draw a symbol that symbolises my link with Amily... whatever that means.

 

It looks like things are going quite steadily at the moment, so it's just a matter of time for my tulpa to develop in maturity and vocality...

 

Edit: Does anyone know of any good seperation and parallel processing exercises? I'm having trouble finding guides on this :P


Host: Steel - a novice tulpamancer.

Tulpa: Amelia - a friendly, energetic knight.

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