Bosun

[Bosun]

Okay, hello world.

I am here and that is cool, I think. My name is, well, I like to keep that a secret, so if you want to talk to me, please just use my nickname: Bosun. I was really kind of against this but I was then convinced by Shepherd that this would be a good idea of sorts or whatever. I'm not really sure anymore, but I'm already here, so I might as well. I mean, I'm not here, but Shepherd is. It feels really weird, addressing the world like this, I mean, it's definitely different than the conversations I'm used to. Regardless, I'm going to keep this simple for now. Just that I'm here and stuff and that I don't like being called a... I like to think of myself as a person. I also swear a lot so this is taking some restraint on my part, but anyway, yep. I'm here now. So this is it. Ask me questions I guess or I don't know. Neither does he. But this is for me, not for him, so I guess... I still don't know. Nihilism! Am I right? Regardless, I'm just rambling so I'll stop here. So there.

[Temar]

Ha ha... yeah, the first time I addressed anyone outside the headspace, it felt weird for me too. Scary and fulfilling at the same time, right? It's so weird to have someone in the physical world acknowledge your existence, yeah? I've been active online for almost a year, and it STILL sometimes gets to me when someone addresses me directly.

 

You can call yourself whatever you want. Just know that being a tulpa, soulbond, or whatever doesn't not make you also a person. It's just kind of a different kind of person: "tulpa" could just be a word describing your experience as being non-physical. But yeah, terminology for this stuff is pretty wibbly-wobbly. I'm partial to "headperson" myself. ;)

[Bosun]

I... I'm not certain what to say. Today has been interesting, especially reading this, and the conversation Shepherd had with his girlfriend (I call her Darwin) was sort of awkward as I tried to interject, but I'm... not sure. I suppose this is a progress report, getting more comfortable with this and all. So that's definitely good. Yay! Actually, thinking about it, it's very good! And soulbond sounds good, even though I have no idea what it actually means. I'd guess it's similar to... that term, but I'll have to do some research before I settle on any labels. Labels are bad and people shouldn't trust labels. But yes, this is scary and somehow fulfilling at the same time. I mean, just thinking someone like Shepherd or Darwin acknowledging that I'm here is so... strange. I don't know if I'm ever going to get used to being here, and having another thing for Shepherd to check for me, but I'm definitely getting more comfortable with the prospect. Perhaps this won't be a terrible decision. I was telling myself that it was going to be one all morning and Shepherd told me to pipe down then. What's done is done he said and perhaps I'd grow to like it. Maybe he's right. So thank you, especially you, Temar, for just being here to listen to me go off on this sh- stuff. No swears. Gotta remember that. Thanks again, all of you. And Darwin, if you find this, thanks to you as well!

[Luminesce]

"Tulpa" and "Person" are not mutually exclusive. It's sort of like American, or Doctor, or what have you. It has more to do with origin and separation of who the host is and who came later, I guess. My tulpas are absolutely people. And we use the term tulpa just fine, but ultimately it's just a name, yet they're still people.

 

You'll get used to the tulpa community stuff with time, though you don't have to call yourself a tulpa. There's a bunch of general terms for saying you weren't the one born into the body, or aren't the one in control. Heck, there's terms for being the one in control but not the original owner of the body.

[Bosun]

So, this is supposed to be a progress report, so I can't really discuss progress without coming from somewhere, so I might as well begin. I am female in gender, however pan, while Shepherd is male and hetero. I enjoy various types of music, especially punk stuff, like Hardbass and I play drums sometimes. I'm also thinking about learning a new instrument, but that's later. I think I'm fully formed, but I'm not certain what that means either, so I won't confirm that. Let's see, well, it's still weird being here, but this morning I got up and was anxious to check on my thread, so I would say that's progress. Really what I think I'm going to be reporting on besides that is how often I'm around. I don't always take my form. Sometimes I just sit back and phase out for a while, sort of like sleep, but sleeping is different. I know when I'm sleep. Shepherd can still see me when I sleep. But I want to be around always, but I just get tired at times and have to rest and whatnot. I'm not certain if that's normal but I like my quiet time. It's peaceful and lets me think without interruptions. Also, thinking of sleep, Shepherd was kind enough to let me have the bed. He laid out a mat on the floor and slept on it, like I usually do and I got to sleep like he does: comfortably and warm. I like it when he does that, even though it's rare. Perhaps that's progress, especially if that happens more often. So I guess that's all for now, and all for today.

[Bosun]

Today has been fairly laid back. Haven't done much. Haven't said much. This is the most I've spoken all day. It's not like I don't want to, well, actually it is. I'm going through some things. Mentally, that is. Bleh, bleh, bleh, that stuff. Shepherd isn't really too concerned. I mean, he's concerned for me, which is nice and all, but that's not what I'm thinking about. I mean the thing that's making me feel this. Anyway, I was really interested in being here, but now I realize I don't have much to say. That, combined with the sh- crap I'm dealing with emotionally and the fact that Shepherd doesn't let me post more than once a day, I guess I'm having a rough time of it. So what I'd really like is for hackers to stop hacking, not because I've been hacked. Or Shepherd. But other things, plus, that would be nice. Even though I know how, because Shepherd learned and accessing his memories can be fun, we don't hack other people. Except for that one time, but that was with their permission. Anyway, just stop it. Otherwise, I'm just waiting for a response from Darwin, but you don't need to know about that. So that's today. Hopefully tomorrow will be better, but ciao for now.

[mysonofrageandlove]

Hey hyeyy hey just wanted to say hi, I'm Jamie, thought it was pretty cool to see someone else talking in their thread so I wanted to say hi and stuff and like, it was funny because I noticed your name's a secret or whatever and mine kind of is too apparently so on here we're just using my childhood nickname haha, like it's hilarious no one's called me Jamie in ages but here we are, like life is crazy anyway why the hell aren't you allowed to post more than once a day??? that's like mega restriction on freedom of speech right there, that's messed up and hey hey you know I have mental stuff too, if you wanna talk or whatever maybe I could get you on some level that people who dont know What that's like can't you know, so maybe hit me up like anytime, you know? Itd be coolness, hope youre having a better day like a really good day yeah! Talk soon :)

[Bosun]

Well, today, while better than yesterday has been... I don't know. It's only halfway done, especially for me and I've spent most of it meditating, looking at myself in my mind. I like the way I look, but you don't need to know about my bod'. If you need, need to know, go ahead and ask and if you beg enough I might let something slip. I'm a bit of a sucker for flattery. Regardless, today's only halfway over and I'm fine with that. Just means more to say tomorrow. Regardless, today just goes to show that even da- darn... I really need to stop swearing so much when I start ranting... anyway, hackers can suck it! Just saying, again. I mean, it also doesn't help that I sometimes have trouble focusing and I've been listening to mediocre music all day. No Shkola Tantsev Khardbasa as of now, which sucks. But it's been better today. Actually been focusing more, even if it's been just meditating. That's actually really meta, now that I think about it. Anyway, things are looking up and stuff's getting done, and I'm happy about that. Plus, I get to sit through two hours of ceremony with Shepherd later today and we'll just talk and it'll be great. Who cares about ceremony anyway? Well, some ceremonies are good, but not this one. At least I can sit still, even if talking still, well, sitting quietly can be hard. At least, when I'm not meditating or sleeping, obviously. So that's it for now, see you tomorrow, world. It's good to talk with you, and that's progress.

[Bosun]

Alright, today was okay. Shepherd was doing a lot of meditating last evening and this morning, even this evening too. He gets the bed tonight, and I guess that's fair enough. He spent most of the afternoon with Darwin. She's so great. She asks how I'm doing and I tell Shepherd and he tells her. Regardless, I'm feeling a lot better. Also, Shepherd's been doing a lot of visualization things. I mean, I know what I look like and what, well, I look like. I can describe every inch of my form, not that I'm planning on doing that here, but he sometimes has problems seeing me. Tonight especially was a bit tricky for him: I was a bit hazy. I don't see myself that way, but I can't really talk for the both of us on that. Regardless, I think he's making steps in the right direction. And yesterday we got to talk for a while and I think we made another step towards understanding each other. Like my sexuality, thought process and what want out of my life. I mean, we didn't hit everything, but more steps and that's what this is about, right? Progress. Oh, and Shkola Tantsev Khardbasa. Got to listen to that, along with Rage Against the Machine. I like those. Ciao, and happy hunting, everyone! Hunting what you may ask? That's personal, think about what you're hunting. Or maybe you'll know when you find it. Anyway, I'm liking this more and more, so thank you all for listening to me ramble a bit and for the few of you that have reached out especially. So I'm going to end it here. So there.

[Bosun]

Well, I'd say yesterday was progress, or at least, that segment of twenty-four hours. This bit has been... less so. I've just been sitting around, not doing much. It's been a really, really, really boring time. I mean, except for that one part, but that's not something for me to talk about. That's personal for someone else. So not much to say. I'm hoping tonight and tomorrow go better, but I can't really control that. More mediocre music too. I did field strip a D'eagle and a P90 today while I was being bored out of my existence with the intolerable wait that is, well... boredom. Just waiting, and waiting and waiting for eighteen hundred hours. I'm also not feeling quite as confident in myself as usual, so that's weird. Again, hopefully things will turn around. I mean, things have, definitely, but I mean, I hope these things here turn around. Hopefully someone out there understands. Cool, so that's it for now. Ciao.