The Adventures of Mr. Telecaster

[MisterTelecaster]

So with school beginning and whatnot, I've been going to bed earlier instead of staying up late programming or whatever, but the thing is, I'm still pretty awake. Not too much, just enough to be unable to sleep for an hour or two, but it's still better than falling asleep immediately after staying up to 2, 3, and sometimes 4 am.

So I've been using that hour or two for forcing.

With so much school related free time relaxing in bed before me, I think that I'll have my tulpa done before any major interruptions happen to my schedule.

 

That is assuming that I don't end up staying up till 3 am doing homework as time passes and the workload increases.

[MisterTelecaster]

So last friday, I think I finally got out of my forcing slump.

I had a statistics exam early in the day, and after finishing, I had a few free minutes, so I spent them doing a bit of forcing. I spoke to my tulpa and apologized to her for not being able to find the time for her, which was more due to my own mistakes and shortcomings than to external circumstances, and promised that I'd spend a minimum of an hour per day forcing, and that I would try to get in some more time after an English exam that I had later. I ended up finishing decades before the rest of the class, so while I waited for everyone else to finish up, I crossed my arms on my desk, put my head down, closed my eyes, and started forcing, just like I promised. I couldn't get her to vocalize, but when the sound of the teacher announcing that the test was over came, I felt this intense pang of loneliness and longing accompanied by a sort of tugging at my mind, a sensation I haven't felt from her in nearly a month.

 

She is slowly getting stronger, finally, and I will ensure that she lives

[MisterTelecaster]

So I had sort of an epiphany not twenty minutes ago.

 

I was forcing, and doing the whole "reinforce everything while speaking to your tulpa" thing, when I decided to focus on her eyes. I had never really done that before, mostly just the face as a whole, but after staring straight into her eyes for a good five minutes while I spoke, I stopped and went back to focus on her whole body, and she suddenly became much more animated and expressive with her gestures and body language. Before, she just sat or stood and listened, occasionally adjusting position or looking at something, but now she was moving around and walking and running and jumping and climbing. It was a wonderful sight, like I was truly seeing her for the first time.

 

Then she got up and gave me a hug.

 

Just a hug.

 

But it was the first time she had ever physically interacted with me in our pseudo-wonderland on her own, and it seemed to almost say "Thank you for coming back for me", though she still isn't vocal yet.

 

Tonight has been a good night.

 

[edited some spelling and awkward sentences]

[MisterTelecaster]

I was forcing a bit a few minutes ago, I asked my tulpa if she wanted to do the prism test. Instead of nodding or shaking her head like usual, she said "yeah, sure" out loud. I explained the whole thing to her, to which she responded "Okay, go", and a few other phrases I couldn't make out. Then, after speaking to me for the first time, she started taking the prism at random amounts of time, which is what I asked her to do.

I got so damn excited by this big old show of intelligence, I couldn't focus on the wonderland anymore, I asked her if it was okay for me to leave for a bit to collect myself before continuing the session, and she nodded.

 

So that's what I'm doing.

I also decided to leave her with a nice acoustic guitar, she surprised me once by deciding she liked to dance, maybe she'll get into playing music too.

---

I just realized that I start a lot of my posts with the word "so". I should really stop doing that, it looks weird

[MisterTelecaster]

I feel like I'm letting her down.

About five minutes ago, she spoke loud and clear. During last night's session, when she was speaking, it was almost like I was feeling the words with my mind, and it was kind of muffled and garbled anyway, mostly she just moved around on her own. But this time, I could almost hear it with my ears, sharp as a knife and clear as glass.

I told her I would build her a nice house in the wonderland. I asked what size it should be. She motioned for small.

"Small?" said I, "Like one floor? One bed, one bath, all of that?"

"Yep."

"I don't believe it, you just spoke."

"Well believe it."

 

If yesterday I shat a brick, when she said that I launched a whole goddamn chimney out of my anus with enough intensity that the opposite forces launched me straight out of our wonderland, and I can't get back in because I'm too damn excited.

[MisterTelecaster]

Tonight, we managed to hold out a little conversation before the stream of bricks pouring from my rectum forcefully ejected me from our wonderland.

It was very nice.

 

Also, she's (finally) gotten some clothes for herself, and given herself hair, which appears to be dyed? How would that even work, her hair isn't even real

[MisterTelecaster]

We now have the capacity to have decent sized conversations whenever I'm forcing, and sometimes throughout the day I'll catch a comment from her about something that's going on, or that I heard somebody say. Other times, I can feel her speaking, but I can't quite make out words.

It's such a weird feeling

 

Not going to fill out that survey just yet though, as more often then not I can't really understand her answer to my questions, or I don't get anything. And to get into a state of mind where I we can communicate without issues takes me about ten to fifteen minutes, so I don't have the time to be going back and forth every few questions. We'll just wait until we get stronger

[MisterTelecaster]

As a sort of training to help us communicate without me dropping everything I'm doing, closing my eyes, and concentrating hard to speak with her, we've been doing this thing with a friend of mine where he'll ask her some stupid questions about her opinions on various things through me, and I'll try to get an answer from her as quickly/easily as we can. We turn this into little fun training Q&A sessions. I think it's helping, and we all find it pretty interesting and fun.

I haven't given her access to my memories yet, so sometime she'll make up some pretty funny answers about things she doesn't understand for a laugh.

 

I have also found that I tend to spend longer forcing before bed without falling asleep if I lie on my back.

Then I thought about it an realized that I haven't naturally fallen asleep on anything but my side with one hand under my pillow/head since I was about 4.

I never noticed this before and now I can't help but notice it every night and every morning.

[MisterTelecaster]

On a whim, I did a google search for my Tulpa's name and got this.

 

I had no idea this even existed, I got the name like four or five years ago by heavily twisting around an example Khajiit name from the TES4 strategy guide

 

THIS IS SO WEIRD

[Barktooth]

I have also found that I tend to spend longer forcing before bed without falling asleep if I lie on my back.

Then I thought about it an realized that I haven't naturally fallen asleep on anything but my side with one hand under my pillow/head since I was about 4.

I never noticed this before and now I can't help but notice it every night and every morning.

 

Hah, I recently noticed the same thing! I only fall asleep if I'm on my side or on my stomach, with the cover on top of me.

 

Congrats on your progress, I can't imagine how good it must feel to have her speak to you if even I get really excited while reading this :D