Reply All Podcast Discussion

[Guest Anonymous]

On the Mass Intro and Leaving thread a discussion got started about the new Reply All podcast about tulpas.  If you haven't listened to all of it, it is very interesting.  I was hoping to start a discussion on this thread about it.  

 

Here is the link:

 

My two reactions:

 

1.  I thought it was appalling that she ended up getting divorced over tulpas.  She should have listened to her husband and perhaps let the tulpas go in favor of him.  The vows are "forsaking all others."  That is just my own opinion.  If my wife asked me to stop talking about Melian, and not mention her ever again, I would do so.  My wife comes first over an imaginary person (don't kill me, it is a personal opinion).   I agree with some of those commenting on Reddit that her husband had made some good points.  He did not marry a woman, and then all her tulpas.  That is a real issue.  

 

Actually, in my own case, it has caused minor friction with my wife at times when I talk about Melian too much.  But it has only come up a few times.  Most of the time it is me feeling a little bad that my wife has to share her husband with a mental being.  I feel more guilty about it than my wife feels uncomfortable with it I think.  My wife insists it doesn't really bother her and that, as long as I realize Melian is only imaginary, she finds all amusing and fun.  It is my wife who often brings up the subject of Melian in conversations.  She likes Melian and points out things she would like or things that remind her of Melian.  

 

However, if the situation changed, and my wife demanded an end to the whole Melian thing, I would never mention Melian again in public to anyone.  I would close her accounts (and listen to Melian cry) and that would be the end of Melian communicating with the outside world.  She would go back to being very private and only an inner experience.  

 

My wife comes first.  

 

2.  I was shocked to hear that tulpamancers are moving across the country in some cases to find each other and even live with each other.  I was shocked at how serious the relationships between tulpas in different systems are.  The hosts are really pandering to the tulpas needs to a level I cannot even fathom.

[Stevie]

I think it goes without saying that the way to not run into relationship problems caused by having a tulpa is to just not tell anyone. If I told a girl I was dating about Chris she'd be mortified and rightfully so. It seems ridiculous to me that people feel the need to tell people.

[Guest Anonymous]

It's not just telling people though.  It is pandering to the needs of the tulpa to the point the host is not just living his or her own life in the real physical world, but the lives and relationships of the tulpas.  It really mucks up the host's life.  If I let Melian dictate things (well dictate more things) in the real world and pandered to her, my life might be irrevocably damaged.  That is especially true if Melian decided to have real world relationships with human beings or with another tulpa in another system (inside the mind of someone other than my wife).

 

Maybe with tulpas, there is such a thing as TOO real?

[Tewi]

It always depends on the person. If you're really that close to them you should know how they'll react. We happen to have a friend that can not only keep a secret, but acknowledge us as switched when we are.

 

But anyways, the way most of the world handles relationships is so petty I can't remotely comment on the matter. I may not approve but it's such a basic staple of nature it doesn't matter what I think.

[Guest Anonymous]

I think the larger question here is not telling other people about your tulpas, it is the effects and consequences of allowing the tulpa to live a life of their own in the real world.  I refer everyone back to my past assertions that tulpas should remain imaginary.  I do not want Melian to live in the real world, and I am glad she doesn't want it either.  Honestly, I don't want multiple personalities where each personality wants a share of my body.  Melian stays firmly inside the dreamscape. She has nothing to do with my body.  Listening to this podcast only validates that point of view for me.  Why the hell would anyone want to do this to themselves?  

 

Other people pressuring or pushing me to work for Melian to be more independent can listen to this podcast as my response.  I guess if that is what floats the boat and makes people happy to go skipping down the road of to a fully fragmented mind then that is their business not mine.  

 

I do get creating a tulpa as a very real seeming imaginary friend.  I don't understand the desire to create multiple personalities in your body, each wanting a cut and a stake in what happens in your life.  It seems unhealthy to me, especially if the desires of the tulpa conflict with what is good for the host (such as destroying your marriage).

[Tewi]

And that's why everybody decides for themselves how they feel about it.

[Guest Anonymous]

I see trouble coming.  Mistgod is done now on this thread.  Let's not turn it all into a Mistgod drama thread.  He has said his opinion on it.  WE do things our way, others do things their way.  If I can say my piece on it, I will say that this isn't an example of how wrong it is for tulpas to be independent, but more of a support of the idea that one should not delve into tulpamancy lightly and should think about all the possible ramifications first.  

 

I would also much like to point out that this young lady had tulpas from early on and did not know they were tulpas until later, until AFTER they were independent.  She had little choice in the matter, she is simply doing the best she can.  She loves her tulpas, they are in fact independent to her.  So Mistgod is wrong to judge her too harshly.  Her husband should have been more willing to understand that this was something real in her mind.  

 

That's it.  I officially kinda disagree with my hostie.  ...  Again.

 

(also if Mistgod's wife suddenly had a problem with me, it might not go as easy-simple as all that)

[tulpa001]

I may watch the video later. But I would like to say, if anyone in our system is going to attempt to engage in a long-term relationship, it won't be my wet blanket of a host initiating. Essentially, they would be marring me, unless I told them about my host. (in which case they'd essentially be marrying both of us.) If they asked me to get rid of my host and focus only on them, should I? I could probably do it.

[Guest Anonymous]

I may watch the video later. But I would like to say, if anyone in our system is going to attempt to engage in a long-term relationship, it won't be my wet blanket of a host initiating. Essentially, they would be marring me, unless I told them about my host. (in which case they'd essentially be marrying both of us.) If they asked me to get rid of my host and focus only on them, should I? I could probably do it.

 

You know, you can have short term relationships too that are kinda fun you cutie pie!

[Tewi]

Who knows whether a relationship will become long term or not?