Reply All Podcast Discussion

[Guest Anonymous]

Mistgod has often said that "now that the Melian genie is out of the bottle, no matter what happens, I won't be able to put her back in!"  That is very true.  So he wasn't entirely honest about how easy it would be to hide me away again if it threatened his marriage and other relationships.  

 

What he left out is that I am a person and that I care.  I would do my best to do what was needed to keep Davie married and  happy.  We would find a good compromise that could solve the issues.  Luckily, at least at this current time, I have no desire for a romantic relationship in the real world.  

 

As for real things, I have begun collecting my own things in the real world and even shopping and spending money.  So, again, my hostie has not been entirely honest and forthright here.  His office has been transformed since I went public.  It is covered in Melian frillies and purple.  LOL

 

So I am affecting his real life already.  Also the trouble between him and his wife over me has never been anything serious, but it has come up.  Mainly it involved Davie obsessively talking about me and mentioning me in every conversation.  Naturally, that gets old quick with his lovely wife.

[tulpa001]

I would add that calling a group forced to keep secrets a cult places you on the wrong side of the entire LGBT community.

 

And also portions of some fan communities. And also the autistic commutily. And also, sometimes atheists.

[Floh]

Well, we just listened to the whole thing and our opinion on it was that it wasn't some quick sht that popped out of nowhere. The journalist actually took time to investigate etc. On the other hand, I think this dramatic story about that poor woman is a bit like "clickbait".

A "basic" story would have been a bit more boring for their audience... It's a pity because I'm pretty sure this kind of stories aren't very common in the plural community and by emphasizing this very story, they give a wrong image of us. We look like marginals, living in our dreamlands and having issues socializing and dissociating reality and dreams.

Anyway, we were glad they underlined the fact that as long as the host isn't suffering, this ain't no disorder. And I almost laughed at loud with this voice-acting tulpa :o.

The little background music sometimes sounded like they were trying to create more emotions than there actually were.

 

Tu put it in a nutshell, we liked this podcast, even though we think it kinda pictures us (mancers, tulpas and plurals in general) as a group of weird, unsocialized, fantasy/sci-fi fans.

[Guest Anonymous]

Tu put it in a nutshell, we liked this podcast, even though we think it kinda pictures us (mancers, tulpas and plurals in general) as a group of weird, unsocialized, fantasy/sci-fi fans.

 

I agree with you that they paint an atypical picture of what the average tulpamancer is like and it is overly dramatic.  Still, your description above does describe me.  Well, the social aspect of my personality got a lot better as I got older, but when I was younger I definitely could have been described as a"weird, unsocialized, fantasy/sci-fi fan."  

 

DEFYING MELIAN'S ATTEMPTS TO PROHIBIT FURTHER MISTGOD COMMENTARY ON THIS THREAD

[Tobber]

You have the luxury of others accepting you for all that goes on in your mind because they were an audience that felt convinced that said experiences with the tulpa endeavor didn’t affect with your functioning. But you cannot have your experiential cases assumed as being applicable for all other cases in how people react. You just happened to have gotten lucky with open-minded people, but, human nature is subjective, and it would be wishful thinking to assume one lucky case scenario is going to have everyone else reacting to the phenomenon in a bigger picture vs. the tunnel vision that’s typical.

 

It’s also important to remember from your statement that family and friends typically want the best for ‘YOU,’ the actual criterion is going to be subjective. The actual ethical call will be different because people have different normative ethics over what’s deemed in the best interest for others, and themselves. Some may see taking the person to see a therapist, or taking medication, or even going to a rehabilitation facility as a call towards having the best interest in mind for that person. Would you still think people suggesting others to refrain from admitting they have tulpas as a ‘cult’ thing? Is keeping things to yourself exclusive to what a cult does?

 

So suddenly, a person has to express everything that goes on in their mind, otherwise, they’re considered being part of a cult? This reminds me of the discussion of how clinical depression only exist, and others ignoring the ‘general depression’ definition that exists as well, and touting me as ignorant, and egotistical. Well, this whole thing about it being analogous to a cult activity is just ego on one’s end as well. Because ignoring the sheer intensity in not knowing how people will truly react to this is what has others regretting the decision to be vocal about it in the first place.

 

 

Some people may take what you said, and enjoy the morale learned here in an asylum instead. Some may actually be lucky, and have others that are open-minded. The morale that I’m picking up from this is that the reactivity levels of others will be subjective, and imagining a picture-perfect world where everyone has deep empathy, and don’t get into knee-jerk responses of crazy and other negative labels of a person is merely ego on one’s part.

 

One can work out all the scenarios, and try to gauge the dispositions of the people they care about, and assume they, the people, know the best interest of the person gauging them, but that assessment, or rather, that inference created is not always a pragmatic indicator to get a greenlight to reveal this to others, and not expect backlash in some way (e.g. ostracism).

 

You don't have to deal with that tragedy, so of course you can brush off those what-ifs. If it doesn't apply to you, then you don't need to drain your energy needlessly, but that doesn't mean those what-ifs can be thrown out of the window for others.

 

You have some very valid points, although, it is hard for me to imagine people suddenly getting dragged to a mental institution for telling someone close to them, how they have a tulpa or more. Most out of all of this I agree, that people will be subjective about how they can be helpful to you. Some people may very well suggest going to a therapist. I would also then imagine they couldn't force you, if you don't want to. 

I'm not saying you need to talk to everyone about it - But wouldn't you say some people deserve to know as well? It could be, as in the podcast, one's husband or wife. Even better in telling them is, they probably won't just think about you, but more of "us". It'll invite to discussion about how two humanbeings can live together as they both want to.

And most of all, I think it's a too low voice in this community saying you can be open about tulpas. Sure, it's a horrible idea some places in the world, but people should know it's still possible and it might be best for them.

 

As for my wording "cult", I'll include this qoute:

 

I would add that calling a group forced to keep secrets a cult places you on the wrong side of the entire LGBT community.

 

And also portions of some fan communities. And also the autistic commutily. And also, sometimes atheists.

 

First off, I used the word cult, because we are dealing with something so important as our brains, and it's most important we don't let ourselves manipulate by others. 

Believe me when I say, I don't think this community is a cult, but it could easily be described as so for an outsider reading this site. Openness IS important and it's a very dear value I have, if you didn't catch on. :P 

As for the LGBT community, that doesn't really compare to what I'm trying to say, right? Okay, if the LGBT community suddenly decides to brand themselves saying "Do NOT tell others about your sexuality", then it might apply. Also I don't remember LGBT as a group forced to stay quiet about their sexuality. Now I do remember there can be a HUUUGE difference in societies across the world, and that some places it can be outright dangerous to live as who you are. I'm not telling those people to stop being careful, but if they ever find just a single person they can trust with who they are - I would suggest being open about it.

You have no idea how sorry I feel for people, who are forced to hide who they are, because you will simply feel better by embracing it. 

 

But to clarify one last time, my comparison to a cult only has to do with how people spoonfeed the message, that tulpas should be kept private. Not anything else. I personally think the message could be conveyed better by saying people should consider, what others might think of them, and then they can decide for themselves what to do. They should know best after all. And again, I don't think this community is a cult.

[Stevie]

You have some very valid points, although, it is hard for me to imagine people suddenly getting dragged to a mental institution for telling someone close to them, how they have a tulpa or more. Most out of all of this I agree, that people will be subjective about how they can be helpful to you. Some people may very well suggest going to a therapist. I would also then imagine they couldn't force you, if you don't want to. 

 

You seem to have missed my post but allow me to reiterate: it's not about ending up institutionalized, it's about people thinking you're a goddamn weirdo. Everyone in my life would react poorly if I started talking about having a super advanced imaginary friend. It's weird, it's abnormal, and I don't think it's a harmful mentality to keep something like that private no matter how much if a positive impact Chris may have on my life.

[Guest Anonymous]

 

You seem to have missed my post but allow me to reiterate: it's not about ending up institutionalized, it's about people thinking you're a goddamn weirdo. Everyone in my life would react poorly if I started talking about having a super advanced imaginary friend. It's weird, it's abnormal, and I don't think it's a harmful mentality to keep something like that private no matter how much if a positive impact Chris may have on my life.

 

I kept Melian totally secret for about 36 years for these reasons. She has only been public knowledge for about 3 years, maybe a little more.

[Tewi]

It always depends on the person. If you're really that close to them you should know how they'll react. We happen to have a friend that can not only keep a secret, but acknowledge us as switched when we are.

 

I do not want Melian to live in the real world, and I am glad she doesn't want it either.  Honestly, I don't want multiple personalities where each personality wants a share of my body.  Melian stays firmly inside the dreamscape. She has nothing to do with my body.

I absolutely disagree with this - "It's best for you and your tulpa in the end if you don't tell anyone"

 

THE LESSON here is if you're proud or happy about something in your life, you shouldn't hide it from others.

That being said, I would prefer to do it the normal way. And in that case, I would only choose somebody I trusted completely.

And if I trust somebody that much, they're gonna know about the voices in my head.

Frankly I'd rather keep what goes on in my mind private rather than alienate all of my friends and family. Sure, in a perfect world everyone would be able to tell everyone about their tulpas but I think this is incredibly unrealistic for most people.

 

And that's why everybody decides for themselves how they feel about it.

[Tobber]

 

You seem to have missed my post but allow me to reiterate: it's not about ending up institutionalized, it's about people thinking you're a goddamn weirdo. Everyone in my life would react poorly if I started talking about having a super advanced imaginary friend. It's weird, it's abnormal, and I don't think it's a harmful mentality to keep something like that private no matter how much if a positive impact Chris may have on my life.

 

First off, wonderful post Tewi ;P 

 

And yeah Stevie I completely get where you're coming from as well. If you feel like your tulpa will have no impact on your friends or family, there's no need to tell them, if you don't want to. That said, if you exclude yourself from society and people worry about you, then it might be time to tell your parents or something - That's just something with responsibility to do.

I also mentioned you have to trust who you're talking to with that information, since you obviously don't want people to turn away from you.

If you feel like people would look at you differently, because you have a tulpa and don't want to risk it, that's your call of course. 

 

We just need to remember some people will accept us for who we are (That includes everything about us as people). Sometimes, when you can feel it seems right, it's just worth believing in others. 

I must stand my case, because if there's even a single person out there, who wants to talk about tulpas, but hesitate to do so, they should know they can.

Obviously if you don't want to, no one can force you.

[Floh]

 

I agree with you that they paint an atypical picture of what the average tulpamancer is like and it is overly dramatic.  Still, your description above does describe me.  Well, the social aspect of my personality got a lot better as I got older, but when I was younger I definitely could have been described as a"weird, unsocialized, fantasy/sci-fi fan."  

 

DEFYING MELIAN'S ATTEMPTS TO PROHIBIT FURTHER MISTGOD COMMENTARY ON THIS THREAD

Some of us probably fit into this, but I personally don't ; and I'm pretty sure I'm not the only one. I hate generalities, they are dangerous.

 

 

 

About the hot discussion going on here, my opinion is - as always when regarding tulpas - IT DEPENDS ON PEOPLE. 50% on the mancer, 50% on the concerned stranger.

I personnally told my mother about Cora, because I knew she was open-minded and much into spiritualism, buddism, energies and stuff. She reacted well and said "as long as it makes you happy".

I'd never go tell my father as he is very carthesian (ok in English?) and he would think I'm fricking nuts ; same for my brother.

I told my buddhist ex-girlfriend after 2 weeks of relationship. After that, she was always asking for news of Cora, and wanted to know what she was telling me ; she was really goodwilling toward all this. We broke up after 1 year for 100% non-tulpas reasons.

My point here is I am willing to share this experience with my relatives, but I know they can't all understand nor react well. So I choose who to tell and who not to.

 

First step is knowing if YOU want to tell it. Second step is knowing WHO can hear it without freaking out and either judge you as a dangerous nerdy psycho, or just weird and disconnected from reality.

 

There is no absolute truth in this community. Everything is way too multi-factorial and personal to be reduced to 1 simple piece of advice such as "don't tell anyone".