Nachtrabe

Ask Cyril Things

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This is Cyril speaking, Nachtrabe's one and only tulpa. I'm using N's username for the sake of keeping all of our "main" threads on one account.

 

N thinks having an ask thread just for me is absolutely ridiculous and pure hubris, but they also refused to make a Discord account (or even a new reddit account) and they complain that I do not engage with other people enough. N can be very difficult sometimes.

 

We compromised in the end: I am allowed to make a thread, but it is my responsibility, and my reputation on the line. N would also like you to know that they apologize - I am not sure for what. Presumably for cluttering the forum. 

 

As for introductions: My name is Cyril. I am a relatively new tulpa. My host and I are quite bad at keeping our thoughts and memories separate, which makes talking pointless most of the time. This has its perks, but also some downsides. For instance, I have opinions on things and I would like to share them. I also wish to practice social interactions (as I cannot rely on N for that one way or another*) and have no way to do so. 

 

Thus, making a question thread seemed like a good idea. You can ask me anything - funny questions (N: If you want to deal with his nonexistent sense of humor**), serious questions, weird questions... any kind of question you can think of. Ask away!

 

-

 

*(N: ...Thanks. Y'know, I may lack social skills, but at least I've figured out contractions)

**don't listen to N, I do have a sense of humor. N simply does not get it.

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Hello Cyril!

 

What do you think of crows?

 

What is your favourite animal?

 

What do you think of your favourite animal?

 

Have you heard of the concept of the totem animal?


Host comments in italics. Tulpa's log. Tulpa's guide.

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So, Cyril, why did you make your wonderland home into a "hobbit hole?"  There's clear Tolkien inspiration in the phrasing, but why that specifically?  Also, is there a specific place you keep N's memory/knowledge library?  What inspires your outfits and other visual changes


That's pronounced, "sir-shuh."

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Oh my, so many great questions!

Hello Cyril!

 

What do you think of crows?

 

What is your favourite animal?

 

What do you think of your favourite animal?

 

Have you heard of the concept of the totem animal?

My host is very fond of corvids. I do not particularly care either way.

My favorite animal would be cats, for now. They are usually fluffy and quite easy to get along with. I am particularly fond of dark grey or black cats. Speaking of it, I might add one to my hobbit hole*.

I am aware of the concept. I think N first came across it as a child while watching "Brother Bear".  (N: well, no, I first came across it in a nonfiction book about Native Americans as a pipsqueak who'd just learned to read. Still, fair enough. On another note, where the heck did Cyril dig up that memory?)

 

So, Cyril, why did you make your wonderland home into a "hobbit hole?"  There's clear Tolkien inspiration in the phrasing, but why that specifically?  Also, is there a specific place you keep N's memory/knowledge library?  What inspires your outfits and other visual changes

The phrasing was N's, not mine. This is interesting by itself, as N does not like Tolkien. (N: I beg to differ. I admire Tolkien greatly, I just don't particularly enjoy his work - with a few exceptions)

As for why: I was going for something comfortable and friendly-looking. I went through N's visual memories and came across the rough design, which stemmed from the time they read The Hobbit** as a child. The rounded shapes and aura of... hobbit-ness, for lack of a better word, appealed to me. The original wonderland was also a big, boring grassland, so it seemed fitting. I then simplified the design greatly, and cleaned up most of the clutter. 

I use a big book bound in rich, relatively bright red leather to symbolize N's memories - all of them - but I do not actually need it to access said memories. Much of what I do in wonderland is merely a visualization of what I am actually doing - partially for N's benefit, partially because it makes me feel more real.

My outfits are inspired by things that seem comfortable, things that look good within my environment*** and things that I know N likes to draw. I also tend to pick things that N associates with traits I have, to make visualizing me easier for them. Yes, N. has a very odd way of slightly stereotyping people like that.

This is one of the main reasons behind my other visual changes as well: N intended me to take on certain roles and thus made me look a certain way. Namely, I started out as a sort of mental protector. That was not a role I wanted, so I changed the way I looked to get my point across. Less armored, several inches shorter, more fragile. Not that this actually impacts what I can do, mind you, but it was quite effective nonetheless. The wings I occasionally have, however, are just for looks. There's nothing wrong with the occasional bit of extravagance. 

 

 

*(N: Right. If that cats ends up as an accidental kitty tulpa, I know who to blame)

**(N: Plus some minor inspiration from the movies, I suppose - likely in the form of stills, because I only got around to watching parts of the movies relatively recently)

***(N: Read as: he color-coordinates his outfits with his walls and his chair of all things  *groans* Look, I'm an artist, but even I think that's slightly excessive)

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I think having a way for you to communicate with others is very healthy, and definitely not "cluttering the forums." I hope N changes their mind about letting you have your own accounts, because you can only benefit from it.

 

Anyway, questions!

 

1) Do you dream?

2) If you could have any career of your choosing, what would it be?

3) Are you interested in forming your own relationships, or are you content with N. and experiencing their relationships (romantic and/or platonic) vicariously?

4) What do you think is your best trait? Your worst?

5) What do you like most about your host?


pr // discord: Heckhound#6112

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I think having a way for you to communicate with others is very healthy, and definitely not "cluttering the forums." I hope N changes their mind about letting you have your own accounts, because you can only benefit from it.

 

Anyway, questions!

 

1) Do you dream?

2) If you could have any career of your choosing, what would it be?

3) Are you interested in forming your own relationships, or are you content with N. and experiencing their relationships (romantic and/or platonic) vicariously?

4) What do you think is your best trait? Your worst?

5) What do you like most about your host?

 

(N: He'll get his own accounts eventually... I'll just need to set up an email account for him and all that jazz and that takes time and effort - as does proxying for him, holy heck that's straining - and idk, life is oddly busy right now. Not that Cyril cares about such "human details", that lucky fellow)

 

1) Maybe. We have noticed that N has started remembering dreams quite frequently lately, which usually never happens. There is a chance that those are actually my dreams and memories. Sorting that out is not easy. 

 

2) I have never thought about it, but I am quite fond of classical literature. I think I would enjoy teaching something along those lines, either at school or college. Interestingly, that is still an option. (N: He's making me read paradise lost of all things, sigh. I may be an English student with a focus on cultural studies and literature, but I personally prefer the 19th and 20th century. Alas, I read some of Oscar Wilde's stories with him and he wasn't interested... And, if you're wondering, university lecturer is not exactly my dream job and school teacher is technically not an option anymore.)

 

3) I'm quite content with simply sitting back and watching for now... real-time interactions are too fast-paced for me. Besides, forming my own relationships reeks of serious business, and I am not quite willing to deal with that just yet - and maybe not ever. There is a certain freedom in not having any stakes in the real world. We shall see.

(N: His very first reaction was hysterical laughter and some tulpish that amounted to "N has relationships???". Which I do, by the way. Jeez.)

 

4) My best trait would be my relative emotional stability - I may not quite be the staunch protector N hoped I would be, but I am still patient, slow to anger, logical and quite reasonable. I will let N judge my worst trait, because I have no idea. (N: His dislike for repetitive conversations and small talk - which made forcing pretty difficult on occasion - and his fondness for low-key trolling me. Minor drawbacks, really.)

 

5) N is fundamentally kind-hearted and willing to believe in humanity despite all evidence to the contrary, but is also awfully... well, gloomy. It's all completely paradoxical, but also rather endearing.

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As we are officially back, I would like to draw attention to the fact that this topic still exists - I have been functionally alone with my host for quite a while, and would appreciate the chance to interact with other people. Goodness knows I deserve some fun after the last few months of mind-numbing... well, everything.

 

So, if anyone has any questions for this tulpa - or even just wants to compare experiences, I suppose - please do ask away.

 

(I also had to fight N on this quite a bit - something about people not appreciating double-posting or, and I quote, 'attention-seeking behavior'. I completely forgot just how difficult my host can be.)

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