Worried about Tulpa

[Bjorna]

As this is the metaphysical section, and I do believe Jax has a soul and astral body (and isn't just a part of my brain) could my husband kill him? My husband is very jealous of him. I think he feels threatened because Jax treats me with more respect. Anyway my husband says that, as a witch, he could destroy him. Is that possible? Can I do anything to prevent that from happening? I can't lose Jax, he began as my original character when I was 12 and we love each other.

[Luminesce]

Jax is in your head, and I don't see why your brain (as I think of tulpas) couldn't keep him existent simply by reinforcing, well, his existence within it. If that makes sense. But as with everything, it really depends on if you believe it's possible. I mean, even from the psychological point of view, if you believe it's possible or not will determine whether it can happen or not.

 

Try and believe it can't happen, though. The idea of killing someone else's tulpa is pretty stupid, I'd be relatively upset if that happened to anyone. Guess I won't comment on your relationship, but try not to let your tulpa be impacted by your physical relationship. Tulpas and humans fill very different roles for each other/yourself. There are obviously some major things your tulpa can't do for you that your husband can (like, you know, basic necessities to being and staying alive), while there are certainly some things or thoughts only another person in your head could understand, so they can possibly be a better mental companion.

 

There's really no need for jealousy, basically.

[solarchariot]

Because of the sheer number of religious and metaphysical paradigms available to potentially respond to this question, there is no way any one person can respond that might sufficiently decrease your concerns so that you might have a moment of peace. As I write this, my concern is not for the relationship between you and your tulpa, but for you and your husband. I am just going to say it: he doesn't sound like a nice person. Whether he has the ability to do such a thing is irrelevant, the fact that he is willing to, or willing to threaten you, regardless of circumstances, is pure meanness; it's contemptible, and spiteful, not loving... Please don't expound either way on his true character, as I get it, people are people, and there are levels to everything, but my reaction to what you wrote provokes a particular emotional response; a particular bias. Maybe he is angry. Maybe even righteously so, because he married you with an expectation, perhaps that he would enjoy the relationship with you that you seem to enjoy with Jax; that has some validity. It tends to be the reason we marry! Even so, I would not condone a threat or an action that would cause someone real or perceived harm. And if your insight is true, that this is about jealousy, or your husband is feeling neglected, I would make that the priority, not the distraction of whether he can or can't kill the tulpa. I'm sad that this is your experience and I do hope that the two (three) of you can find some mature, positive ways to either help each other meet your needs, or positive ways to disengage. Seriously, that is the real, and only, threat here.

 

My personal, philosophic, metaphysical view is that a soul can never be destroyed. (Science says matter and energy can never be destroyed, I just apply that to spirit.) Can spirits suffer? Hello, welcome to Earth 101. (Hell, you're suffering, and no one has actually done anything; they've just threatened to do something. (The fact that you're suffering about the existential question of whether Jax can be killed or not also suggests you're not as confident in your theory as you might like to believe.) Spirit can suffer, but only within a contextual framework. The distinction which I assume you make, and in which I definitely make, is that there is difference between physical and spiritual. Physical life dies, spirit does not, by definition. Whether your evidence comes from NDE reports, or from a preferred religious artifact, most folks believe that spirit goes to a better place. Some religious folks suggest souls get recycled. Some say they can go to purgatory or an eternal damnation. The key word in that is eternal. I am not preaching hell stone and fire, because that isn't in my paradigm, just making a point. If you believe that you continue after you die, then it seems like a reasonable conclusion that so does Jax. No one can prove that. Some will argue you both die. Some will argue just Jax will die when your body dies. As long as Jax is in your head, short of severe brain damage, I don't see anyone stopping you from accessing him.

 

At the time of your writing this, I suspect you are in unpleasant place, because you're afraid, and someone is trying to influence you. You sound like you are suffering. I believe your husband is suffering. If Jax isn't suffering because you're suffering, and also not advising you on how to remedy the situation, then I would I have to wonder about Jax, too. If you were all here in front of me, I would ask each of you to find some way to interject some love and get out of this fight or flight dance, because if you are soul, it is most likely you came to learn something, and the only thing I know worth learning is how to love. Marriage tends to be a covenant where each person agrees to at least try to love each other better than those outside of the contract; at minimum, it is suppose to be a safe place to practice love. Translation, you're either both affirming that commitment, or working on dissolving it as peacefully as you can. I don't see many other options when threats, real or perceived, need to be levied in order to influence others to meet expectations/needs, real or perceived. Seriously, reduce this to one question: do you need marriage counseling, or divorce counseling. No one, outside of this forum, is likely to appreciate 'husband threatened to kill my tulpa with witchcraft, but if you took tulpa and witchcraft language out of the linguistic equation, and just used 'Jax,' people might think you were either in a pre-existing relationship and shouldn't have married, or everyone knew in advance that this triad... OMG, this is way too difficult to sort. Insufficient information and I am making more assumptions...

 

No, Jax can't be killed. You peace of mind clearly can be.

 

I tried to interject some humor here, but it feels really serious. I want it to be serous, too. I hope this is helpful.

 

Travel Light.

[Bjorna]

Thank you so much soulchariot. I tend to believe that energy can't be destroyed either but thst other 5% of me still worries. Jax has encouraged me to get a job, to have more confidence, and to stop letting my husband talk down to me. My marriage is very messed up. My husband always accuses me of doing things I didn't do. Thats very personal info but i figured i would put it out there so nobody would think I'm this mean person who pays more attention to her tulpa than her poor lil hubby. Only reason Jax has gotten more attention than hubby lately is because hubby has been annoying, controling, suspicious and puts me down. Jax is morw pleasant to chat n do stuff with. Guess i need a divorce.

[solarchariot]

Thank you so much soulchariot. I tend to believe that energy can't be destroyed either but thst other 5% of me still worries. Jax has encouraged me to get a job, to have more confidence, and to stop letting my husband talk down to me. My marriage is very messed up. My husband always accuses me of doing things I didn't do. Thats very personal info but i figured i would put it out there so nobody would think I'm this mean person who pays more attention to her tulpa than her poor lil hubby. Only reason Jax has gotten more attention than hubby lately is because hubby has been annoying, controling, suspicious and puts me down. Jax is morw pleasant to chat n do stuff with. Guess i need a divorce.

 

I am glad it was a little helpful. About an hour after I sent it, I worried I had way over-spoke, and should have just stuck to the specific question. Yes, the stuff you're sharing is very personal, but I just interpret that to mean you need someone to speak with. As you no doubt read, i was bias towards you, and I still am, and more so on reading your last post. I can still make argument that nothing exists in vacuum, we co-exist in systems. I did not intend to suggest you are mean. At some point the negative feed back loops become so severe, it becomes necessary to quit the system. So for example, you both probably started off pretty good. Something happen. People to tend have automatic responses to something happen. Some go internal, some go external. Most couples are balance of these two coping styles, but if there is extreme the following is usually how it blows up: something happens. introvert goes deeper inside. Extrovert gets mad. introvert goes deeper inside. Extrovert gets madder. both parties are actually doing the same thing in response to a stimulus. Going inside to avoid conflict is just as controlling as the extrovert who is throwing tantrums; it is two different styles of control which is geared towards bringing the system back into the initial circumstances that was perceived to be good. You tune into Jax. Husband becomes more controlling, more suspicious, because clearly if you don't need him, then clearly you have found someone else, so he acts out, and you tune more into Jax, and so you're both stuck. And that sucks. The thing is, there is no going back to what you guys were because we change. (That does not mean you can't find a way to co-exist in a more healthy interaction pattern.) Systems change. Individuals change. If we struggle with change, we return to our preferred, automatic response to try to fix things, which, just go back and re-read this paragraph... I think both of you are struggling; it just manifests differently. Marriage counseling can help! Counseling can help. I definitely wouldn't call him poor little hubby, but I also don't want to see you as a victim; I can generate compassion for both of you. Relationships are the hardest things that any human being will ever engage in. If they were easy, we wouldn't have a 60 pecernt plus divorce rate. And, I applaud you both for doing it; spin it as an exercise in learning, and take some of the sting out of the hard stuff, because, well, it's all hard stuff!

 

I hope you have family or friends in your area, if for nothing else, to get outside perspective from people close to your situation. Some women shelters also offer counseling. Some churches do if you have a preferred spiritual preference.

 

Now, back to original question. Luminesce brought up a really interesting point about beliefs. I was too caught up in my own vectors to consider that. So, again, from the metaphysical, hypothetical, your belief could alter how you experience of Jax. So, let's say you believe in voodoo or magic, and husband does something and Jax blinks out. I would say that gives me more insight into you than into whether or not Jax exists. Placebos work. Nocebos work. Voodoo and magic work, if you believe it. I believe it, but I also see it as a symbolic, psychological aspect, as opposed to an outside agency has power over me. You been with Jax a while. He can't be erased from your brain. But if you believe he is gone, well, you may not access him.

 

To echo more of Lumi's sentiment, no, just let me quote: "The idea of killing someone else's tulpa is pretty stupid, I'd be relatively upset if that happened to anyone." I feel anger and sadness just hearing someone say they would kill someone, tulpa or not. I mean, seriously, whether you have an ability to do it or not is irrelevant! I am no longer wanting to be around you because, well, I can't trust you. Let's say the person actually kills someone, tulpa or real person, we have now moved way beyond trust issues. Those are things that can't be taken back. Doing that isn't going to make me like you more. It increases fear. Fear is the worst basis for a relationship.

 

Oh, Bjorna. We, my system and I, send you love, strength, and the courage to do what is best for you, everyone involved.

[Bjorna]

Thank you so much Soulchariot. What you say helps a lot. Also, from what I understand about how tulpas work, I can protect him/keep him alive by believing. No matter what I have to believe my husband can't hurt him and that will protect him.