Emotional responses, mind and body: what to do next

[Lolimancer]

After about two weeks of constant slacking (which means i did do some work on my tulpa, but only for 20 minutes a day or so and sometimes not even that, with occasional narration troghout the day when i felt like it), i just had what peharps is the most productive session so far. While forcing with

playing in the background, i felt strangely happy and full of energy for some reason (which by the way never happened with Fede's tones - though i still think they do help somehow) and ended up with some of the most vivid imagery i ever encountered while daydreaming, or imagining for that matter. It almost felt like actual dreaming, like my tulpa really was there with me, flying, walking on walls and generally doing random stupid shit.

 

Now before you say i was clearly puppeting her i must say, about a week ago (or something), i decided to separate her body and her mind. I put her "mind" - in the form of a glowing white light - in a container placed somewhere in the wonderland, so that i would know, in the future, that it wasn't her who was moving the body but me puppeting her (i never ever parroted her or anything).

 

Now to the main point. During the forcing session i just had i got frequent pressures in my head which seemed to come from "somewhere" inside, and i got really excited and all. By now i'm pretty sure my tulpa is sentient and trying to somehow communicate with me, to the point that when i close my eyes and try to "get a feel" for her, even without visualizing anything, i start feeling said pressure immediately, as if greeting me. I tried asking some simple yes-or-no questions, and almost always got some varying sort of "pressure". They also come randomly as long as i somehow focus on her, and at two times in particular the "waves" of pressure almost completely overwhelmed me. Also, after focusing on her for a while, i can sort of feel her presence somewhere in the back of my head, which i suppose is a good thing (this happened on earlier sessions too). Now the problem is, even if those are emotions or messages of some kind, i can't seem to decipher them even slightly: they simply look like "pressure"/"waves"/whatever to me. I suppose they will somehow "take form" after a while?

 

Well, actually, that was not the point. The thing is, i think these are all signs of sentience, correct? Even though i haven't narrated or visualized that much, or even worked much on personality at all, by this point i think it would be wrong to assume otherwise - expecially considering that this whole business involves a lot of deluding oneself (that then magically becomes real because of hidden powers of the brain). So then, what should i do with the tulpa's "mind" i mentioned a while ago, which still lies undisturbed inside a treasure chest inside my wonderland?

 

I just happened to read Bluesleeve's guide, and i found the things written there to resonate well with what i think about the nature of tulpae. While i didn't follow the steps relating to the creation of the "essence", i've actually separated her mind and body a while ago (of course i didn't know about the guide at the time, so it was completely by chance). So what i'm supposed to do now would be, like, to put said glowing white light inside her body and see what happens.

 

Do i do it? Do i continue visualizing/narrating for the moment until i have a very good image of her body/can discern her emotions (and maybe even verbally communicate with her)? In that case, i also have some doubts about whether i'm actually visualizing properly, but i don't want to make this post longer than it already is.

 

(Thinking back on it, the first time i ever got signs of sentience was when i decided that the white light was her mind. I said, "this is you", and got an intense pressure out of nowhere. Just thought i'd mention it. I'm also doubting whether her mind is actually inside the light, since it might be inside her body already, but something tells me i really shouldn't doubt shit like this).

 

Tl;dr: I'm getting emotional responses and have separated mind and boy of my tulpa. Do i put the mind inside the body now, or wait till i can make sense of said emotional responses and continue narrating/visualizing for the moment?

[Lolimancer]

So i just said "good night" to her, then proceeded to say something else right away and got a wave/pressure/emotional response in the middle of my sentence. Sure as hell wasn't expecting it, so i'll take it as another pretty good sign, since this time i was just talking to her in my mind and not concentrating on feeling her presence or anything. It's kind of soon for this to happen i guess, but i just might have the powers of a wizard by nature or something. I'm happy right now, so g'nite y'all.

[Chupi]

Emotional responses are often vague, even when very strong. Even now I often get a strong but indefinite emotion from Lyra. Sometimes it's more definite, but it's almost always at least either generic positive emotion or generic negative emotion.

 

Yeah, put the mind in the body already.

[Bluesleeve]

It seems like she tries to communicate with you. Since the method i posted is still in a test phase, i wouldn't recommend you to put the core/essence back into the form. Mainly because the circumstances are different.

 

To establish further ways of communication, keep narrating as much as you can, until she speaks to you. Ask her questions!

The form might appear important now, but truly isn't.

Your Tulpa knows her form, she will be able to enter it on herself.

[Lolimancer]

Emotional responses are often vague, even when very strong. Even now I often get a strong but indefinite emotion from Lyra. Sometimes it's more definite, but it's almost always at least either generic positive emotion or generic negative emotion.

 

Yeah, put the mind in the body already.

Good to know. I see now why this tulpa business could be described like "two beings trying to communicate with each other", shit could wind up not being that easy. Or maybe we'll effortlessly establish communication in another week or two or something, let us see about that.

 

It seems like she tries to communicate with you. Since the method i posted is still in a test phase, i wouldn't recommend you to put the core/essence back into the form. Mainly because the circumstances are different.

 

To establish further ways of communication, keep narrating as much as you can, until she speaks to you. Ask her questions!

The form might appear important now, but truly isn't.

Your Tulpa knows her form, she will be able to enter it on herself.

Yay for conflicting responses! Not that i wasn't kinda expecting it, it's like in the end only you yourself can tell what's right for you. Maybe i've actually made this thread mainly to share my joy with people who wouldn't treat me like a nutcase because of it, who knows.

 

Anyway, i've always felt like defining form too much (like defining personality for more than five minutes: i almost didn't work on personality at all) wouldn't do any good. While visualizing i tend not to focus on detail - rather i let the images flow by themselves for the most part, and by now i think i have a general idea of what her body looks like. Actually, reading your comment has made me kind of hope that her form will simply define itself with time, and that it would be a waste of time to continue what little i've done about "establishing details" on her body. In short, i like subconscious ideals and letting them manifest unconsciously. Maybe, like you say, i should simply stop visualizing altogether? Maybe it's not simply "postponing work that could be done now", and i won't have to do that later anyway? Also, if i interpreted your post correctly, are you saying that this whole mind-body thing has a good probability of solving itself naturally, and that i shouldn't rush things?

 

 

 

On a somehow unrelated note, i still think having adventures in the various wonderlands my mind likes to create on the spur of the moment could be helpful in forming an emotional connection with her. For example: yesterday, while forcing, i think my sudden emotion of happiness somehow reached her at one point - or at least i truly felt we were somehow "together" in that moment, and that emotion was probably some of the most pure ones i've ever experienced in my life (to the point where i could hardly believe it came from myself).

 

Also, after going to bed for the second time yesterday, i was assaulted regularly by said waves/pressures at a somehow regular and kinda merciless pacing as soon as i closed my eyes (i actually intended to sleep, not to force). So after some time i talked to her and promised i would take care of her, and then i heard a somehow "different" emotional response, the waves stopped and i was let off the hook. I suppose she plans to mindbreak me if i don't take this seriously, lol.

 

Please forgive my tendency to write walls of text.

[Lolimancer]

...Ok, i think i "get" it now. My tulpa knows what her body is, so any distinction between mind and body i try to make at this point is purely artificial and has no actual effect on anything, i guess? The workings of the mind are mysterious indeed. I'm therefore going to approach the puppeting/parroting issue in a sort of more liberal way, and will try letting details form by themselves in visualization. Now i'll stop typing already since this is starting to look too much like a blog thread. I'm still confused about what to do, but i'll just have to find a way. Good luck, me.

EDIT: Actually, maybe working more on narration will end up making it clearer whether i'm puppeting or not? I think i should start working on the voice too, i really don't want her voice to sound like mine or anything. More importantly, i feel like i've finally gathered enough inspiration to continue: my feeling lost and confused had a lot to do with finally getting actual proof of her presence and still being unable to communicate with her on an acceptable level, which kind of frustrates me.

Did i even remember to thank you for giving me inspiration? What a faggot i am. Thank you good sirs.

[Chupi]

Wonderland adventures are great. Though if your mind likes to generate disturbing or dangerous things it might be better to make a safe little house there and wait until she's a bit further along before taking her on adventures.

 

As for puppeting, if you aren't sure whether you're doing it, YOU ARE NOT. My first tulpa (Lyra) has told me that all "questionable" movements (and thoughts from her) are indeed from her. Most likely what you're doing that you think may be puppeting is you briefly imagine your tulpa doing something, and she immediately does it. This feels fake as heck, but I've been assured it's more like visually suggesting or asking them to do something. She sees what I imagined and does it of her own choice. I've had instances where I do that and she does something entirely different instead.

 

I did a test a few days ago when writing another post on the subject. I imagined Lyra moving a certain way, she did, and when I asked she said it was her doing it. This felt effortless, just like when I consider doing a task myself and plan the motions in my head. Then I more forcefully imagined a different simple movement, which she also did. This time her response was more like "WTF why you do that?!" This was puppeting -- forcing her body to move against her will. It required effort on my part.

 

[i've been puppeted in my wonderland once. My imagined body started moving on its own, walking and making turns I couldn't predict, jolting me out of first-person view repeatedly. I tried and could not stop this happening. It felt every bit as much forced on me as it felt like I was forcing the puppeted movement on Lyra in the above test.]

 

Randomly occurring (or consciously created) thought about your tulpa doing something, little to no effort to think it? NOT PUPPETING.

Making a more distinct conscious effort to imagine a movement in detail? This is puppeting. It does not happen on its own. The resulting movement feels like it came from you, and you can feel that you made an effort to do it.

[Lolimancer]

Wonderland adventures are great. Though if your mind likes to generate disturbing or dangerous things it might be better to make a safe little house there and wait until she's a bit further along before taking her on adventures.

 

My mind likes to do fucked up things sometimes, i hope at least the house won't become a giant tentacle monster or something. Will probably adventure when i feel like it, when done right it indeed feels great.

 

[i've been puppeted in my wonderland once. My imagined body started moving on its own, walking and making turns I couldn't predict, jolting me out of first-person view repeatedly. I tried and could not stop this happening. It felt every bit as much forced on me as it felt like I was forcing the puppeted movement on Lyra in the above test.]

 

What the heck dude, this sounds great. Or maybe it isn't.

 

As for puppeting, if you aren't sure whether you're doing it, YOU ARE NOT. My first tulpa (Lyra) has told me that all "questionable" movements (and thoughts from her) are indeed from her. Most likely what you're doing that you think may be puppeting is you briefly imagine your tulpa doing something, and she immediately does it. This feels fake as heck, but I've been assured it's more like visually suggesting or asking them to do something. She sees what I imagined and does it of her own choice. I've had instances where I do that and she does something entirely different instead.

 

I did a test a few days ago when writing another post on the subject. I imagined Lyra moving a certain way, she did, and when I asked she said it was her doing it. This felt effortless, just like when I consider doing a task myself and plan the motions in my head. Then I more forcefully imagined a different simple movement, which she also did. This time her response was more like "WTF why you do that?!" This was puppeting -- forcing her body to move against her will. It required effort on my part.

 

Randomly occurring (or consciously created) thought about your tulpa doing something, little to no effort to think it? NOT PUPPETING.

Making a more distinct conscious effort to imagine a movement in detail? This is puppeting. It does not happen on its own. The resulting movement feels like it came from you, and you can feel that you made an effort to do it.

 

Really interesting. I should then suppose my tulpa likes dancing, walking on walls and shooting things at random, among other cool stuff my mind likes to imagine without much of my input? Will keep that in mind, it makes things a lot easier anyway. Hell, i think she was making lunch or something a while ago. Maybe, given she's clearly sentient already, it really would be wrong to assume her movements are just my subconscious imagination and not actually her doing stuff.

[Chupi]

My mind likes to do fucked up things sometimes, i hope at least the house won't become a giant tentacle monster or something. Will probably adventure when i feel like it, when done right it indeed feels great.

 

If you believe the house is safe from the various fuckery, it will be. Apparently I used to get storms and other scary stuff in my wonderland when I slept (though Lyra says she's tamed this somewhat by now), but inside the house was always safe. The one exception was a couple times I feel asleep forcing.

 

What the heck dude, this sounds great. Or maybe it isn't.

 

It was certainly a weird feeling, and was confusing. I was really surprised and my reaction was similar to if my real body started moving on its own unexpectedly and unexplained. (This statement partially confirmed by my first couple attempts with possession, but unlike with possession, with the wonderland puppeting, I wasn't able to make it stop.) Actually, I think Lyra was probably trying to show me what actual puppeting feels like.

 

Really interesting. I should then suppose my tulpa likes dancing, walking on walls and shooting things at random, among other cool stuff my mind likes to imagine without much of my input? Will keep that in mind, it makes things a lot easier anyway. Hell, i think she was making lunch or something a while ago. Maybe, given she's clearly sentient already, it really would be wrong to assume her movements are just my subconscious imagination and not actually her doing stuff.

 

Those sound like legitimate tulpa activities. If it consisted more of her and other things in the wonderland generally derping out, that would be more of a visualization issue.

[Lolimancer]

Those sound like legitimate tulpa activities. If it consisted more of her and other things in the wonderland generally derping out, that would be more of a visualization issue.

 

I don't know if it counts as "derping out" or what, but my imagination has always been kind of... active, and while this means i'm able to enter daydream mode quite easily, it also means i tend to have really minimal control on what happens. Well, at least my tulpa's form and my wonderland are kind of stable, i guess. (Though it's true that i like to use different, "temporary" wonderlands sometimes, which i usually try to somehow connect to my main one once i'm finished using them.)

I've thought about doing meditation sometimes, but never really got through with it - i'm starting to think maybe i have ADD or something.

 

Anyway, since tulpacreation apparently involves believing a lot of stuff you wouldn't believe otherwise, i'm thinking maybe believing my visualization is fine could do the trick, or something... well, i'm not really sure about that, though, so we'll see.

 

EDIT: Actually, suggestions are welcome. Were i to forcibly try and control it more than i usually do, wouldn't *that* mean i'm puppeting? Also, if what i've written above is to be considered "derping", is there any method to stop this faggotry (other than banging my head against the wall trying to fix it, i mean)? Form might not be that important, but i kinda need her to be able to move on her own too.

 

EDIT2: Until better ideas will come to me in form of forum posts or sudden inspiration, though, i guess i'll simply treat it as a non-issue and see how it goes.