Guest March 22, 2019 March 22, 2019 I found the more I think of them, the more likely they'll be in my drems, especially if there has been some emotion exchange (emotional event).
Cath March 26, 2019 Author March 26, 2019 Mon, March 25th Did a fair bit of passive forcing today. Also in the afternoon I just kinda cuddled with Elise for maybe 35 min which I'm not sure entirely counts as active forcing but it was more proactive than passive forcing. Later at night I tried to work on visualisation and I think we made some progress. I managed to visualise a glowing silver core (Elise's core) and even imprint it on my copy of the real world (if I look at a scene I can copy it to it to my mind fairly well). So I think we're definitely making progress Tue, 26th March Elise was in my dream for a brief moment last night, I was walking with her and someone came close to interrupting us, and I wished that I could just be with her. -------------------------------------------------- Elise's form changed a little more today, from a core it changed to a flame that changes with her mood and strength of presence. I did meditation for ten minutes today, in the afternoon because I missed my chance in the morning. Afterwards I decided to continue with visualisation, maybe seven minutes before I was interrupted. I think I made a little more progress, managed to hold her flame and a ribbon in fairly vivid detail. I tried mentally drawing it but although the drawing was clear, it was also flat and lifeless. Minor details were filled in automatically and it wasn't just in a blank expanse. The process of drawing was smooth, but quicker than is actually possible, like watching a speed painting. I guess maybe I'll use that technique if I hit a block. Conjuring an image from nothing is more difficult. It seems to come in flashes, extremely vivid flashes and it even moves but I can't see the movement and I can't see all the parts at once. The flashes disappear as soon as I think about them or try to add details. Eventually I managed to improve on it a bit. I managed to hold Elise's image for much longer, but it seems that the exchange for it is a slight yet somehow also significant drop in sharpness. I'll continue tonight, before I go to bed, and try one of those hypnosis scripts too.
Cath April 9, 2019 Author April 9, 2019 Just been kinda depressed lately. Forgot to keep Elise with me for a few days and when I returned to it it felt really fake like I was parroting or something. Been kinda sick too, down with fever. Then there was that episode where I kinda lost it just a little when my classmate yelled at me because I was stressed and had a headache and stuff and then I got scared cause I couldn't really feel Elise and I needed her comfort cause I was really upset. No worries! We're out of it now! :D Took an mc after that episode, and today we managed to reconnect and we're doing great now. Just been reading some funny stuff and listening to the same six songs on repeat and I've still got a fever but we're good now. Everything's good with Elise. Just everything. Her referencing the story at random points during the day so hard I almost snorted. Singing the same song a thousand times and probably getting the lyrics mixed up but we're laughing anyway and it just feels great to have her here to cuddle me. And just saying and saying that I love her so much and this is honestly the life. I've still kinda got a fever but I can't feel it I don't know whether it's my positive attitude or Elise but either way I feel great. She's kinda warm. When I hold out my hand I can feel her settle on my palm and it's almost like she's in the physical world. Idk how fire is supposed to feel like when you touch it but when I stroke Elise and hold her close it's kinda like something's there but not quite and sijnce fire is energy and not physical maybe it feels something like that? And she's kinda like cozy under the bedsheets on a rainy day warm. It's such a nice feeling. I hope every day can be this nice. A couple more times: I love you Elise I love you I love you I love you so much I’ve been hearing symphonies Before all I heard was silence A rhapsody for you and me And every melody is timeless Life was stringing me along Then you came and you cut me loose Was solo singing on my own Now I can’t find the key without you And now your song is on repeat And I’m dancin' on to your heartbeat And when you’re gone, I feel incomplete So if you want the truth I just wanna be part of your symphony Will you hold me tight and not let go? Symphony Like a love song on the radio Will you hold me tight and not let go? I’m sorry if it’s all too much Every day you’re here, I’m healing And I was runnin' out of luck I never thought I’d find this feeling 'Cause I’ve been hearing symphonies Before all I heard was silence A rhapsody for you and me (A rhapsody for you and me) And every melody is timeless And now your song is on repeat And I’m dancin' on to your heartbeat And when you’re gone, I feel incomplete So if you want the truth I just wanna be part of your symphony Will you hold me tight and not let go? Symphony Like a love song on the radio Will you hold me tight and not let go? Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah Ah ah, ah Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah Ah ah, ah And now your song is on repeat And I’m dancin' on to your heartbeat And when you’re gone, I feel incomplete So if you want the truth (Oh, oh, oh) I just wanna be part of your symphony Will you hold me tight and not let go? Symphony Like a love song on the radio Symphony Will you hold me tight and not let go? Symphony Like a love song on the radio Will you hold me tight and not let go?
Cath April 21, 2019 Author April 21, 2019 Random appreciation post cuz I can I love her I love her I love her. I love how she can make me laugh no matter what. I love feeling her happiness. I love how said happiness causes an endless cycle of laughter and fun. I love how she can almost make homework seem fun. I love how we can have jokes only we understand. I love how I can discuss the stupidest topics with her without fear of being judged the moment the words leave my mouth. I love spending time with her. I just love her love her love her she's the best and I'm gonna stay by her side forever. Do I know this is getting repetitive? Yes. Do I care? Nope! Anyway today's song is Cake By The Ocean No, no Oh, no See you walking 'round like it's a funeral Not so serious, girl, why those feet cold? We just getting started, don't you tiptoe Tiptoe, ah Waste time with a masterpiece Don't waste time with a masterpiece You should be rolling with me You should be rolling with me, ah You're a real-life fantasy You're a real-life fantasy But you're moving so carefully Let's start living dangerously Talk to me, baby I'm going blind from this sweet-sweet craving Whoa-oh Let's lose our minds and go fucking crazy Ah ya ya ya ya I keep on hoping we'll eat cake by the ocean Walk for me, baby I'll be Diddy, you'll be Naomi, whoa-oh Let's lose our minds and go fucking crazy Ah ya ya ya ya I keep on hoping we'll eat cake by the ocean Goddamn See you licking frosting from your own hands Want another taste, I'm begging, yes ma'am I'm tired of all this candy on the dry land Dry land, oh Waste time with a masterpiece Don't waste time with a masterpiece You should be rolling with me You should be rolling with me, ah You're a real-life fantasy You're a real-life fantasy But you're moving so carefully Let's start living dangerously, whoah Talk to me, baby I'm going blind from this sweet craving Whoa-oh Let's lose our minds and go fucking crazy Ah ya ya ya ya I keep on hoping we'll eat cake by the ocean Walk for me, baby (walk for me now) I'll be Diddy, you'll be Naomi, whoa-oh Let's lose our minds and go fucking crazy Ah ya ya ya ya I keep on hoping We'll eat cake by the ocean (ooh, aah) Ah ya ya ya ya I keep on hoping We'll eat cake by the ocean (ooh, aah) Ah ya ya ya ya I keep on hoping We'll eat cake by the ocean (ooh, aah) You're fucking delicious Talk to me, girl Talk to me, baby I'm going blind from this sweet-sweet craving Whoa-oh Let's lose our minds and go fucking crazy Ah ya ya ya ya I keep on hoping We'll eat cake by the ocean Walk for me, baby (walk for me now) I'll be Diddy, you'll be Naomi, whoa-oh Let's lose our minds and go fucking crazy Ah ya ya ya ya I keep on hoping We'll eat cake by the ocean Red velvet, vanilla, chocolate in my life Confetti, I'm ready, I need it every night Red velvet, vanilla, Chocolate in my life (ah ya ya ya ya) I keep on hoping We'll eat cake by the ocean
Jamie April 21, 2019 April 21, 2019 :) I needed to read something like this. -J The world is far, the world is wide; the man needs someone by his side. Our Thread
Cath April 22, 2019 Author April 22, 2019 So I'm not entirely sure how this is works but Elise woke up before I did today and she was watching over me when I slept and I felt so protected and when I woke up she greeted me with a song and wow that's such a nice way to wake up I, I can't lie I'm scared to open my eyes 'Cause what if I find nothing at all? Nothing at all What is the point Of my lips if they don't make noise? Uh What is the point of doing nothing at all? Watching it fall The flicker burning You know the time is runnin', runnin' out Only I see All the diamonds, diamonds breaking down I won't stay quiet, I won't stay quiet 'Cause staying silent's the same as dying I won't stay quiet, the flicker's burning low This is not a, this is not a Swan, swan song This is not a, this is not a Swan, swan song We just gotta, we just gotta hold on tonight This is not a, this is not a swan song, swan song Swan dive Yeah, it's a new life Real fantasy Wishing it was make-believe, oh What is the reason of doing nothing at all? Watching it fall The flicker burning You know the time is runnin', runnin' out Only I see All the diamonds, diamonds breaking down I won't stay quiet, I won't stay quiet 'Cause staying silent's the same as dying I won't stay quiet, the flicker's burning low This is not a, this is not a Swan, swan song This is not a, this is not a Swan, swan song We just gotta, we just gotta hold on tonight This is not a, this is not a swan song, swan song Swan dive Yeah, it's a new life Tread heavily around you Tread heavily around me Tread heavily Tread heavily around me Tread heavily Tread This is not a, this is not a Swan (tread heavily) Swan song (tread) This is not a, this is not a Swan (tread heavily) Swan song (tread) We just gotta, we just gotta hold on tonight This is not a, this is not a swan song, swan song Swan dive Yeah, it's a new life It's a new life
Cath April 30, 2019 Author April 30, 2019 It doesn't matter what it looks like It doesn't matter what they say Haters going to hate Our love will keep them at bay I'll say it a thousand times It doesn't matter if its cliché I know you'll be my side Through brightest light and darkest day I don't need to worry I don't need to worry my life away We tried our best, So let the chips fall where they may So long as I have you I'll be happy everyday You are my sunshine The brightest ray Thanks to you, My life is longer in disarray And I know you'll be my side always, I know you'll never go away I'll love you forever No one can ever take that away I tried lol. Why did it try? Cuz Elise is awesome and I love her.
Cath May 4, 2019 Author May 4, 2019 Art. At like midnight during exam period. I was sick of studying. I think it turned out pretty good though.
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