Werther

I wanted to debunk tulpas and this happened.

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Posted (edited)

Hi everyone, 🙂 

I`m 24 years old, a university student (STEM) in Europe and two days ago I decided to conduct an little self experiment. I wanted to disproof the existence of tulpas. Or at least the possibility of me having a tulpa.

My plan was to read every guide I could find, gather all the source materials out there and do exactly as told for at least four week.

I expected exactly nothing to happen and that I coud dismiss this as deluded nonsense, as I consider my self to be a skeptic and a man of science.

But at least I wanted to give the concept of tulpas an honest chance. I wanted to test the hypothesis.

 

Now imagine my face as, after just two days, my tulpa  answered.

 

I am up to this moment completely amazed.

This was one of the most astonishing moments in my life.

 

Now I want to share my (and as of late her) amazing story.

 

Have fun reading, ask me everything, thank you for providing me with the necessary Information I needed and Godspeed you!

 

Edited by Werther

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That's actually really interesting, since most of us believe that expectations should at least affect the speed at which you get a tulpa. Two days is pretty fast, so either you're naturally very good at this, or expectations have nothing to do with it whatsoever! So hey - good experiment!


Account used for when Cornelia and Kanade are merged

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Day 1

 

So I stared, after spending at least 10 hours on the internet to research, with giving my tulpa a name.

The first thing that came to my mind was Isabel. That's what she is called now.

Isabel or shortly Izzy.

 

So fare so good. 👍

Finding a name was pretty easy.

After this began searching for a fitting for. At first I tried to make her human (That she would be female was all ready clear at this point her gander hat to match her name) and it failed tremendously. Every face I could come up with was ether to attractive to close to my owen or exactly that of a person I know.

Okay, than an animal it should be.

And I faintly remembered the film "The golden Compass" and that I really wanted a daemon like the humans in film have, as I watched it as a teenager. And that I specifically wanted a red fox back then.

So the groundwork was done: A red fox lady named Izzy should became my test object.

Because at this point it had already become very late and I was very tired, there was unfortunately only a little time left to create a character and do a_little bit of forcing.

I gave her for simplistic reasons just these three trademarks:

  •     Loyalty
  •     Curiosity
  •     Kind-Heartedness

I imagined her standing by my side while I was smoking a cigarette and after that I went to bed. 

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1 hour ago, Felicity Ravenlocke said:

That's actually really interesting, since most of us believe that expectations should at least affect the speed at which you get a tulpa. Two days is pretty fast, so either you're naturally very good at this, or expectations have nothing to do with it whatsoever! So hey - good experiment!

 

Hey. 🙂

That is exactly the reason I write it down hear. It is really interesting for me too. You are right about this, when I was a little boy (aprox. 3-13yo) I used to made sequels to the films I had watched in my head and played as all the different characters. Because I was to impatient to wait for official ones. 😂


51 minutes ago, Ranger said:

Considering your experiment, I have a question- if Isabel fully develops, do you plan to keep her around or are you going to get rid of her?

Before I started the question didn't even arise.

But at this point, I'm 90% sure I will keep her. She is just lovely. 🙂

Although the forcing is very time and attention consuming. And I definitely don't want to neglect my studies or my friends over it.

 

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My main concern is if you change your mind and realize you don't want a tulpa, you may feel guilty for having to dissipate a potentially vocal tulpa. I would rather you give yourself the chance to think about having a tulpa or not before you make much more progress. Even though there are upsides such as companionship and less time feeling lonely, there are down sides such as the time investment, stress, possibly being forced into a new closet, and potential complications with friends and family if you chose to open up to them.

 

You don't have to neglect your friends or your studies. If active forcing for hours is too much you can cut back to spending a few minutes with your tulpa on days you are really busy. However, if you only force for a few minutes a day, your tulpa will not develop much and you will not see much progress if any at all.

Please feel free to take your time thinking about this, if you take a break from Isabel nothing bad will happen to her.


I'm Ranger, Gray's/Cat_ShadowGriffin's tulpa, and I love Hippos! I also like forum games and chatting about stuff.

My other head-mates have their own account now.

Temporary Log | Switching LogChat | Yay!

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16 minutes ago, Ranger said:

My main concern is if you change your mind and realize you don't want a tulpa, you may feel guilty for having to dissipate a potentially vocal tulpa. I would rather you give yourself the chance to think about having a tulpa or not before you make much more progress. Even though there are upsides such as companionship and less time feeling lonely, there are down sides such as the time investment, stress, possibly being forced into a new closet, and potential complications with friends and family if you chose to open up to them.

 

You don't have to neglect your friends or your studies. If active forcing for hours is too much you can cut back to spending a few minutes with your tulpa on days you are really busy. However, if you only force for a few minutes a day, your tulpa will not develop much and you will not see much progress if any at all.

Please feel free to take your time thinking about this, if you take a break from Isabel nothing bad will happen to her.

I understand your concern.

Well, it is indeed hard but still manageable. In addition, I think I have to develop her further so I can honestly ask her if it is okay for her to take a break. Now that I feel her existance I'm hesitant to do anything that may be harmful.

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 Day 2

 

I slept late. The only lecture is very late at 12:30. I said good morning to Izzy and got up. We had breakfast and a big cup of coffee. After the coffee had had its effect we went to shower. I imagined her by my side (my visualistation skills are not as good as I thought; she was still just a silouette with 99% transparency) but I started talking to her.

 

For a moment I doubted whether I should really take her to university.
An adult with an imaginary friend. 😂
I felt a little stupid.
But for the experiment, I concluded that it had to be.👍
I really wanted to try my best.


As I got on the tram I got my book out and started reading it. I decided to read out loud (with m head voice) to her so she could enjoy the story too. To my amazement I realized that something was different. She didn't seem to like the story (a 19th century gothic novella). I think that was the first emotional response I got.

But looking back I'm not so sure.🤔
But she was kind enough to keep watching me read.

 

At the university I had the intention to do passive forcing all the time.
I felt it was a nice feeling to have someone with you all the time. And I thought it was a little funny that nobody came to see her. 😉 
I could listen to the prof and still force, but in a conversation with a fellow student I recognized that she was gone. At that point the emotional responses became stronger. I came to feel what she found boring and who she found nice. It was a short day and soon we took the tram back home and I told her that I was really looking forward to actives forcing and that I can hardly wait to meet her.

At home I cooked us a meal and after a short cigarette break I started to practice.
(I had read that meditation can be very helpful before or during active forcing)

So I sat down and meditated over her personalety and form for a quarter of an hour.

 

Than it happened!

As I pictured her most vividly in front of my inner eye and called Izzy by her name, she smiled at me and said "Yes!"

I don't know if this is normal, but my mind went blank in this moment and my feelings overwhelmed me. You should have seen her expression! ☺️
The joy and impatience! The euphoria of knowing "I'm alive, I am conscious!".
I will never forget this happy face again.

This was definitely no parroting as I was in shock.

Hypothesis confirmed: I have a tulpa.

 

Sadly for the rest of the day she stayed quiet. 😞

But I still got some emotional responces: e.g. she likes to lauth at memes and she likes the music I'm listening to (70s and 80s Punk, Classic music and  Gothic rock)

 

As the sentience of at least Isabel is now evident (or I went completely nuts without a reason) I wondered if I shout now go on and test possession, Imposition and switching.

 

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your experiences seem pretty par for the course - young tulpas seem to flit in and out of consciousness and be hard to hear in anything other than tulpish

 

Experimenting with possession and switching sounds good, yeah. Both of those things just happened to us one day. But imposition isn’t a tulpa

skill, per se. It’s a simple matter of practice to make your brain hallucinate at will, and people happen to use that skill with tulpas, just as they do with visualization and lucid dreaming


Account used for when Cornelia and Kanade are merged

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Day 3

 

I woke up and immediately said "good morning to her" as if it was the most obvious thing to do.
I feel like as long as I wasn't really awake and didn't have coffee, she didn't react and the passive forcing is very difficult.
So we went to the university again and this time I have been using the tram ride to tell her all about the city and the buildings we passed.


The first lecture on that day was Optics and Waves and she told me via emotional response that she doesn't really understand what it is all about but found it very interesting.
Since I had to concentrate on the topic, I had no time for narration.


Afterwards, I went with friends to the library to do some exercises and I could feel her disappointment when she realized that I was only concentrating on the tasks and neglected them.
(Maybe in hindsight, I have to make her character a little bit more understanding) 🤔 
Afterwards I apologized to her and explained that I take my studies very seriously and that she has to get used to it.

 

In the afternoon I listened to a lecture on climate change with my mates and I felt that Izzy was very concerned about the environment (even more than I was).
As the professor showed us a really frightening graph I exclaimed to my mates "What kind of bollocks is this?!
And to my utter amazement, it was Izzy who answered "Absolute bollocks!" 😂
I had to concentrate really hard not to laugh out loud.
When I started the experiment, I never imagined anything like this could ever happen.


I also noticed over the day that she was way more infantile than I expected her to be.

But that is okay.
We got home very late and my mother came to visit. This time I managed to keep forcing Izzy in the background during the conversation. (Note: Maybe it's the coffee, which had a positive effect. Today I drank about 4 cups)
On the way home, I had promised Isabel to play something for her on the guitar and to force more actively, but sadly it was already too late when my mother left. I started to write this progress report and went to sleep. 

I could really feel her disappointment about me breaking a promise.
It hurts more than I would have expected. 🙁

 


1 hour ago, Felicity Ravenlocke said:

your experiences seem pretty par for the course - young tulpas seem to flit in and out of consciousness and be hard to hear in anything other than tulpish

So you are saying it is nothing out of the ordinary and progress this fast is normal if it goes back and fourth?

Good to know, if it is more common my experiment will be more representativ.

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