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By The Pond: With Darron and Jaina


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Jaina is so cool!ย ๐Ÿ˜

ย 

And if I read your status right it's now your birthday!ย ๐Ÿ˜ย Happy Birthday Jaina! ๐Ÿฅณ๐ŸŽŠ๐ŸŽ‚๐ŸŽˆ๐Ÿ’š

Also known as GypsyRoad or Phil Present. Call me what you want, I'm not picky.

Simmieย is my lovely tulpa, she's quite young still but is eager to meet and chat with new people so don't hesitate to say hi!

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3 hours ago, September13 said:

Jaina is so cool!ย ๐Ÿ˜

ย 

And if I read your status right it's now your birthday!ย ๐Ÿ˜ย Happy Birthday Jaina! ๐Ÿฅณ๐ŸŽŠ๐ŸŽ‚๐ŸŽˆ๐Ÿ’š

Thank you so much! And yes it is! ๐Ÿฅณ

ย 

It's also our dating anniversary. ๐Ÿ˜‰ It's helpful for us (me) to remember. She's ๐Ÿค” 21 in people years and we've been officially dating for 7 years. Luckily she was created my age ๐Ÿ˜…

ย 

I asked for a portrait of my handsome guy. ๐Ÿ˜‰ He's self-conscious of his appearance so this is a two-for-one self-affirmation exercise and gift for me! ๐Ÿ˜„๐Ÿค— I want him to see himself the way I do. I think we're all critical of ourselves to an extent.

Darron: Host ๐Ÿ’ย 

Jaina: Tulpa ๐Ÿ’ย 

Aggrok: Tulpa Void Dragon

Viktor: ๐Ÿบ

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More of a housekeeping post. Default black is our system speak font. I had the idea to make mine (Darron)ย blueย and Jaina'sย redย to distinguish us when we were both talking. As the host it makes sense for me to be the primary speaker. Also, I am incredibly lazy. I have no problem changing font for Jaina or anyone else in our system but it feels like a chore for me to switch and decide under what context to switch over to blue. Blue also feels a bit more eyeย bleedy unless Iย boldย it or give it aย backgroundย .ย  I guess I could have made a poll but feedback sounds better.

ย 

These options are for host "Darron's" voice specifically when posting with multiple headmates. When it's just me, it makes sense to use system voice (or should I use Darron's color then too?):

ย 

* Use black system voice for Darron all the time.

* Use black system voice except when posting with multiple headmates and (interrupting) their solo posts. (What I've been doing.)

* Use regularย blueย all the time.

* Use blue with bold or background all the time.

* Use bold/background when posting with others.

* Just let Jaina do all of the talking. ๐Ÿ˜˜

* Or some combo I didn't think of.

Darron: Host ๐Ÿ’ย 

Jaina: Tulpa ๐Ÿ’ย 

Aggrok: Tulpa Void Dragon

Viktor: ๐Ÿบ

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The blue actually shows up really nicely in dark mode, as does Jaina's red. But I think using the default color for system voice is the best touch; it shows up as white for dark mode users and black for regular mode users. Using the blue and red makes the most sense when there's a dialogue going on between you too. The background is a bit distracting so I wouldn't recommend it. But ultimately it's up to you!ย (Oh no, it just occurs to me that this shade of green might not look as nice to light mode viewers!๐Ÿ˜•)

Also known as GypsyRoad or Phil Present. Call me what you want, I'm not picky.

Simmieย is my lovely tulpa, she's quite young still but is eager to meet and chat with new people so don't hesitate to say hi!

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(edited)

Thanks! Is dark mode disabled on phones or am I blind? Maybe I'll try to use the blue more often.

ย 

Edit: I'm just blind. Theme is on the bottom.ย 

Edited by Glaurung26

Darron: Host ๐Ÿ’ย 

Jaina: Tulpa ๐Ÿ’ย 

Aggrok: Tulpa Void Dragon

Viktor: ๐Ÿบ

[DeviantArt]

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(edited)

[Going to use blue for Darron, because Jaina is likely to be chiming in a lot. Trying to be less lazy, also easier to do colors on pc than phone because my fingers are bad at touch screens, particularly with fingernails.]

ย 

Sorry for the activity spam, dealing with RL stuff, my sleeping schedule is borked and I'm caffeinated. Anyways, I promise I made this topic and joined the community to learn about tulpas and encourage Jaina's growth and finding herself. Instead she has only gotten more strength and power and this supervillain of a therapist has turned it back around on me. I think I'm growing and developing more than she is at this point.

ย 

Jaina: ๐Ÿ˜„๐Ÿ˜‰

ย 

My life has been chaotic the past couple weeks and I'm a bit frazzled so SOMEONE found a chink in my mental and emotional armor and decided it would be real fun to needle and cajole me into some introspection and personal growth. I swear I should rename this topic "On The Couch With Darron and Jaina." Like the therapist kind.

ย 

๐Ÿ˜Š๐Ÿ‘ฉโ€๐Ÿซ *pen clicking noises*

ย 

So if you want to skip my insane manchild ramblings and a smarmy smug smartypants tulpa, then I'll catch you next time. Otherwise click below for Dr. Phil content (also language warning):

Spoiler

*hops up on couch* So the most recent thing was where everything seems to happen to me these days, in a Rimworld playthrough. I'm pretty sure I live there now. I've gotten my wish and uploaded us to a digital wonderland. I would say it was extremely unhealthy behavior to live in a fantasy land if it weren't so "me" of a thing to do and the outside world coming up with new and creative ways to be hostile and try to kill me. Screw it, just drone drop me my food. I live here now. Outside bad, inside good. Maybe one day I'll escape quarantine hell. Probably not.

ย 

Feeling worn down and emotionally vulnerable I do what I always do these days for comfort recreation time, I play Rimworld with Jaina and Darron avatars. I got the idea to do some Lord of the Rings theme, I download some mods, I make a new profile, drag and drop our avatars into the colonist pool. Just us and one rando npc. Cool. Done deal. I do mod checks, inventory, make plans, start assigning tasks to not starve or mood break. Ooops I forgot to make us love interests right away, that's fine. We're both overpowered pawns with similar traits, same age, blah, blah, blah and then just some guy who's even a night owl and we'll see 4 hours a day. I don't worry about it. I even think it would be romantic and fun for our love to bloom and blossom anew in the fantasy hellhole that is Rimworld. I'm starting to think that I'm seeking some sort of Freudian catharsis with my relationship with the world and humanity by spending my time in a digital world that wants nothing more than to murder me, my friends and family and light my house on fire. No symbolism to be found here.

ย 

I plop down sleeping spots, get everyone to work. Work is boring so the pawns chitchat about inane topics. I have the kind trait which apparently negates my opinion of beauty/ugliness, so I start neutral with Jaina. Weird but whatever. (spoiler alert traits don't affect compatibility directly anyways, it's RNG + plus proximity and some other things) But the other guy does not have the kind trait and is thirsty AF for her +40 beauty. I don't control Jaina (I'm playing a game where I'm literally God and have console commands) and I don't tell her what to do (I could literally draft her and tell her what to do and save scum outcomes to my heart's content). She's a big strong girl that can live her life and make her own decisions. (If you don't see where this is going, don't worry, I'm dumb too.)

ย 

I'm not paying attention to what everyone is doing and then I hear the notification *ding*. "New Lovers." Oh cool, that's early, I was expecting this in a couple weeks yet. ............FUCK. "[Redacted] and Jaina talked about facial hair. Jaina complimented [redacted]'s facial hair and [redacted] expressed affection for her. She accepted." (Or something like that, I paraphrased) I have facial hair too.....๐Ÿ˜

ย 

*pats Darron on the head* You have lovely facial hair too, sweetheart.

ย 

Thanks, hon. Honestly, what did I expect? They're computer programs with no context, no pre-existing weight to the calculations and no history or knowledge of existence and expectations. I left fate up to a literal dice roll. And drumroll please:

ย 

J: ๐Ÿฅ๐Ÿฅ๐Ÿฅ๐Ÿฅ

ย 

I was too nice to ask the girl out. ๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜ Ain't that some Freudian shit. And a perfect encapsulation of my RL relationship history. With a brand new ice spike in my heart I sit back and nearly have a mental break IRL. My therapist (that's me, Jaina ๐Ÿ˜‰) walks me through it. I apparently project too much of myself into fictional characters and fictional worlds. Logically I know that but apparently I still get emotionally invested I guess. I left my own One Ring perched precariously in Mt. Doom and left the door unlocked. Rim Jaina isn't tulpa Jaina but it still burned a bit. I seem to have some attachment or jealousy issues to work through that I didn't know existed because I keep her all to myself usually. And you lot. Oh, and watch this shit: on the way home from getting junk food "Syence - a little bit bored (Lyrics) feat. Ruuth" plays on the radio. The universe KNOWS.

ย 

*loudly peering down glasses* Pen clicks will continue until behavior improves. ๐Ÿ–Š๏ธ

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Chad Rimworld NPC cucks Beta neckbeard nerd in his own game.

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Now, now. Memes don't replace personal growth and development.

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*sigh* So I have some things to work on. I'm too attached to and reliant upon Jaina for my self-worth and personal validation. ๐Ÿ™„

ย 

Good....good.....

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Are you happy now? Are you pleased with yourself, breaking my emotional structure over your knee?

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I wondered what would break first, your tear ducts or your fragile masculine ego!

Spoiler

1918583470_rawbatmanbane.gif.286da4dbdac8090c1b24348ce4be39f1.gif

Hey! How come you can meme?

Because shut up. Break your back make you humble.

ย 

Jaina keeping her Madam Hand strong.

ย 

J: ๐Ÿ˜„

ย 

I don't even remember where I was going with this. It ends as it always does: in tears and memes. Thank you for reading this travesty and watching me get stomped to pieces by my tulpa's boot heel.ย 

ย 

And what did we learn?

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๐Ÿ™„ To not define myself by my relationships, to let people go and to love myself first.

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And not in the hands down the pants way. That's my job. ๐Ÿ˜‰

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In case anyone forgets, myself included, I literally did this to myself.

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Well that was exhausting.

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But you feel better right?

ย 

Yea, sure.

ย 

Tune in next week to the Tulpa Relationship Deconstruction Show with your host, Doctor Jaina! ๐Ÿ‘ฉโ€โš•๏ธ๐Ÿ‘ฉโ€๐Ÿฆฐ๐Ÿ˜Š๐Ÿ‘‹๐Ÿ‘‹๐Ÿ‘‹๐Ÿ‘‹

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I hate this. She can't be stopped now.

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You could always become emotionally mature and self-caring...๐Ÿ˜

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*eats my just desserts and cries*

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Update: Revelation incoming in 3...2...1 ๐Ÿ‘‰

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Oh. ๐Ÿ˜ฎ๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜ถ

ย 

There it is. ๐Ÿ˜‰๐Ÿ™ƒ Just needed to work on that separation anxiety. I told you I wouldn't leave. You knew it but you had to feel it. That's all. ๐Ÿ˜Š

ย 

Okay. ๐Ÿ˜ถ

ย 

See? They can be trained. ๐Ÿ˜Š๐Ÿ˜‡

ย 

Never, never piss off this woman. I think she is actually smarter than me now.

Edited by Glaurung26
Jaina- little update

Darron: Host ๐Ÿ’ย 

Jaina: Tulpa ๐Ÿ’ย 

Aggrok: Tulpa Void Dragon

Viktor: ๐Ÿบ

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I should do channel? ๐Ÿคทโ€โ™€๏ธ Darron is finally being productive and doing stuff. He's nervous but he'll do good. Had me thinking, maybe I could do content too? Thinking about streaming or recording some no voiceover. Just chill streams, maybe some royalty free music to make it less boring. Not going to make a bit production of it like Darron's channel just share Rimworld, Minecraft whatever stuff. Maybe fun builds I dunno. I just wanna help. ๐Ÿค—โค๏ธ

Darron: Host ๐Ÿ’ย 

Jaina: Tulpa ๐Ÿ’ย 

Aggrok: Tulpa Void Dragon

Viktor: ๐Ÿบ

[DeviantArt]

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  • 4 weeks later...

I'm just going to be boring and predictable for a minute and brag up Jaina. I was feeling the walls of the existential nihilism and futility of understanding humanity closing in and Jaina talked me down and distracted me with fun stuff. She even encouraged me to start recording again and gave me some good ideas. I love my wife. ๐Ÿค—:classic_love:

ย 

Jaina: I'm very good at my job. ๐Ÿ˜‰

Darron: Host ๐Ÿ’ย 

Jaina: Tulpa ๐Ÿ’ย 

Aggrok: Tulpa Void Dragon

Viktor: ๐Ÿบ

[DeviantArt]

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  • 5 weeks later...

Taking a big step. Got a counselor appointment on the 5th. Going to untangle some mental spaghetti and I think it might be time to practice talking to people IRL about tulpas. I want Jaina to be a big part of my life (she already is really) and I want to get a feel for how that goes with "normies." Haven't introduced her to the parents or my IRL friends and might want to some day. I'm making this a practice run with a third party that isn't intimately involved in my life and relationship circles.

Darron: Host ๐Ÿ’ย 

Jaina: Tulpa ๐Ÿ’ย 

Aggrok: Tulpa Void Dragon

Viktor: ๐Ÿบ

[DeviantArt]

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