Help with my tulpa.

[thewindssong]

So I was actually directed here after talking on a form with a person who has a tulpa, and as we were talking, I realized that I probably went and created a tulpa without even realizing it. This is a copy of what I told him after my discovery:

 

I didn't realize that it was different then something like schizophrenia. I always thought that I had a mental illness so I never really told anyone else after I turned 12. When I was about six or seven I was going through a fairly life altering time, and in order to understand it, I would talk to Sonic (I was a big Sega fan), but as the years went by, the personality that I would talk with changed. He started calling himself by a different name, and gave me a large back story of his life that went very in depth. When I started becoming a teenager, I realized that this wasn't some sort of imaginary friend that was going to go away, so I started trying to ignore him, yet at the most random time, I would find myself halfway through a debate with him about varying subjects. I always just thought I was crazy, so I kept it to myself. Only a few people knew about him when I was young, and many of them have probably forgotten. So learning about this, and knowing that I may not be as crazy as I originally thought is great.

 

He then told me this was most likely a tulpa and directed me here. Lately I haven't really tried to pay attention to him for the past few years, but every once and awhile, when I am laying in bed trying to sleep, him and I will just randomly start talking about the universe, or politics, or our past, or his origin story.

Now, the problem I am having is that whenever I am not talking to him, I have a nearly constant headache, and I can no longer reach for him, sometimes I cannot feel that he is even there, but then for short glimpses, we exchange a few words, or I see him for a few seconds, and these glimpses happen more randomly then not.

From what we have been able to communicate, is that he realizes that I was worried for my mental health, but we both really want that old connection we had before back. Has there ever been another case like mine, and does anyone have any advise to help us?

[Kiahdaj]

It sounds like a tulpa to me.

There have been other cases like you, yes. It's actually not all that uncommon that childhood imaginary friends turn into tulpae.

I would have to guess that the best thing to do is to start paying much more attention to him. Maybe try visualizing him and so forth, almost as if you were creating a tulpa.

 

But really, just start paying loads of attention to him, and I'm sure you'll have that "connection" back.

[Natasha]

The mind has a lot of mechanism to block out things that might harm it, such as traumatic memories and that can sometimes cause serious headaches if it gets poked.

I could understand if you dont wish to answer this, but that life altering time you mentioned, did anything drastic happen?

Did someone die or anything of the like?

Also, did he sorta start talking slowly or did it just kinda happen out of nowhere?

I don't want to be intrusive in any way but there's a fine line between a tulpa and schizophrenia and there latter can cause some serious damage if not handled carefully.

[thewindssong]

No one died, and I am going to be fairly vague, but my parent that I lived with was starting to get in a serious relationship again with another parent that had two children that were older then me. Eventually, my family became dependent on the other family, and that family's parent was very strict, so strict that during the summer I was punished (Can't remember what for) and grounded to my bed for about a month except for the visitations with my other parent(Which at that time do to their work, was only about a day or two a month). During that time, I wasn't allowed to speak with anyone, and I could only get out of bed to use the restroom. I didn't have many books, so most of my time was spent sleeping or staring at the ceiling. About a week into this I started to speak quietly to the tupla (who at that time was Sonic). Considering it was such a long time ago, my sense of time from then is muddled, but I know that by the time I was back in school, we were having full conversations, usually in my head, but I have been told that I used to mumble to myself a lot at that age.

 

I have actually met and lived with someone who had schizophrenia, and judging from what I learned from them, my own research, and the movie A Beautiful Mind, I highly doubt that this may be a case of schizophrenia. From what I can gather, Schizophrenia patients tend to see their delusions as completely real, and tend to follow their suggestions fairly blindly. I understand that what I hear is something of my making, and from the few times I have seen him, I was able to tell that what I was seeing was out of place, and only able to be seen by me. Although I have noticed some differences between what is stated here on the website, and what I have experienced (But that has so many other things involved with it that lead to a whole different topic). But I am fairly certain it is not Schizophrenia.

[Natasha]

Does not seem like schizophrenia to me.

I´m no expert but i have two distant family members that ended up in a mental hospital due to it.

You can get serious headaches and even sickness if you try to remember something that was blocked out by the brain and in some cases (if the person is not mentally strong enough to handle what happened) they might experience a "personality split" or schizophrenia, but that´s usually something that completely takes over the person whenever they are somehow deeply reminded of the episode the brain tried to seal away.

I was just curious since you said you were experiencing headaches and loss of communications your buddy (That could be something reminding you of such an episode) but it doesn´t seem like it´s that serious (Don´t get me wrong, I don´t doubt that it must have been horrible for you, i properly wouldn´t have been able to keep my sanity through something like that but it doesn´t seem like something that would cause schizophrenia)

 

Isolation shouldn´t cause you to develop schitzoprenia unless you have a weak personality and/or have relatives that have it (studies show that it increases the possibility by 10-11 times), and as far as i´m aware the only kind of schizoprenia it can give you, is the hollywood kind.

 

There´s properly nothing in the few guides that are around these forums that could help you, since you seem like you are far ahead of them, so the only advice i can give you is: Talk to him, he seem´s like a tulpa and they live on attention so that´s what you should give him.

 

Oh and, if you ever get SERIOUS headaches, as in - the ones that will make you consider seeing a doctor/shrink, you properly should.

for real

 

[MisterTelecaster]

Cases like yours don't really seem to be that uncommon, I personally had nearly the exact same thing happen to me.

 

Act as though you are creating a tulpa for the very first time, and just work hard on it. Eventually he'll become a full fledged tulpa. Maybe your headaches will even go away

[Oguigi]

Yep definitely a Tulpa, and Your not the only one, a few other people came here in the past when they also discovered that their imaginary friends was actually real beings called Tulpae.

 

You guys have a bond that goes years back, Am very Sure with the right time you can get back to speed with him in just weeks.

[thewindssong]

Thanks for all for all of the suggestions, I will try them out, and try to be more active hear on the forums and let you all know how it turned out.