Ringgggg's somewhat-comprehensive foxgirl imposition log

[ringgggg]

Fucking psychotic off this fucking ritalin or whatever the hell I took but this might be the best analogy in the history of imposition so I’m leaving it in. Deal with it. Take it like a good boy, because you will when you go down this sacred road.

[ringgggg]

Ever since the last report, I’ve been making sure to visualize objects for longer and in greater detail before I impose them. This had noticeable gains. On average, my base level of imposition after warm-up seems to be stabilizing; less fuzzy, more defined, and better integration with my surroundings. Not perfect, but good. I feel like the progress of the next couple weeks or months of practice are going to build on this framework. I don’t expect things to deviate anytime soon, it’s pretty similar to how it was in 2023.

 

I did have something amazing happen a couple days ago, though. It was a little after work, I was in my room, and I said fuck it, and decided to visualize A3 for a little bit. Out of every single practice, this was probably the first time I was setting aside time to visualize her. I made sure to get in all her details, her legs, her tail, her fur, and for her face I pulled up a 3D face rigging test of Diane Foxington on youtube because it’s pretty close to how she looks. After the first ten minutes, she suddenly became extremely vivid in my mind, and when I opened my eyes, she was right there. She was there, slouching in my broken chair in the corner of the room, one foot tucked in and one foot dangling off the edge. It felt like the only thing that was deceiving me was my own vision. Every other bone in my body was telling me she was in that chair. I went fucking ballistic, bro. I hugged her so hard. I have to reinstate, that was the closest I’ve ever gotten to a full, lifelike imposition and all it took was 10 minutes of prep. I’ve been geeked out of my mind chasing that dragon ever since it happened.

 

I love how imposition likes to give you these little flashes of hope and then proceed to be boring af for the next month and a half.

[YukariTelepath]

That's awesome, man.

[ringgggg]

Thanks, yuka.

[ringgggg]

If we’re going off the basis that imposition is lifting weights in your mind, active imposition feels like using machines to lift high amounts of weight, and passive imposition feels like relying on lighter and more freestanding exercise solutions like dumbbells or resistance bands.
 

Active imposition regiments emphasize the strain on certain parts of the imposing process, but the downside is that they fail to maintain the imposition in practical scenarios, much like a machine provides a more targeted exercise than free weights but doesn’t offer the benefits of learning proper form that free weights do.

 

Passive imposition, being the milder but more applicable side to imposition, can help teach how to contextualize imposition in everyday scenarios with no specific focus or goal. Like the name suggests, it “passively” improves the foundation of your imposition much like how light free weight exercise helps build the stabilizing muscles necessary to execute a proper form. 

They are two sides to one coin. One cannot be great without the other, and if you put more focus on one while neglecting the other, any effort towards your imposition will be sloppy and half-assed.

[ringgggg]

-On my practice-

 

This is really working. I’ve already showed up to the gym consistently before this, and now that imposition is right after I get done, I don’t even have to think about it. I’ve done imposition for 30-60 minutes every day for the past week and a half now. I don’t want to understate how much of an accomplishment that’s been for me. When I first began, it took me the entire 30 minutes to get to a 5/10 imposition, and now it only takes a minute of warmup to get to that point. The downside to that is that it often takes longer to get into a flowstate when I’m imposing, so I’ve been trying to push myself to impose more complex objects earlier. I really want to get my money’s worth from those 30-60 minutes. I don’t want to jinx things, but it feels like I’ve kind of hit my stride.
 

The objects themselves feel more and more solid now, and they’re starting to feel like they take up real space. Endoalir’s method really helped to exercise my sense of presence. It’s interesting because this somehow feels more targeted than sculpting and focusing directly on the boundaries themselves like what I previously did. When I visualize something now, the boundaries of my physical imposition immediately snap to that visualization. This has proven to be a double-edged sword, though, because now I have to pay attention to my visualization a lot more than I used to. If the object is fuzzy in my mind and I stop focusing on the details, the imposition of that object will be fuzzy, too.

 

I used to have this bad habit with sculpting where I would zone out and move my hands around without actually focusing on the imposition, and now that problem is completely gone, since my hands are less involved. So that’s cool.

 

-On A3-

 

I’ve always been kind of scared to bring her out, if I’m going to be honest. I never got myself used to her being in physical space around me every day, oftentimes I would either just a) halfass it, b) talk to her without her form, or c) just refrain from talking at all. I’m a shy boy, and when I have to focus on her in the real world when talking, it’s like trying to make eye contact with the biggest guy at the bar. So recently I’ve been trying to get used to it a lot more, because, frankly, it’s embarrassing to admit that you get awkward around your own tulpa to a bunch of people on the internet. Also, it’s why we can spend a week talking and then be distant from each other for the next two. Long-term commitment scares me.
 

I feel like the entire drive of my imposition is teetering on whether or not I can be okay with letting a fox sleep in my bed and sit in my passenger seat and go with me to work for more than a week. The goal has always been to get my tulpa to a state that allows her to live like this for as long as she wants, so I want to learn how to make it work and not be too much of a pussy to have her around.
 

I don’t want to ever live down the title of tulpacel at any point in my life

Edited April 25 by ringgggg

[ringgggg]

It's been three weeks since the con happened and I'm just now starting to transition out of the slump I was feeling ever since I got out.

 

Anyway, I was out of the gym for two weeks, which means that I was out of imposition as well, as the two have been helplessly conflated into one mental block. The good news is that I got rehired at my previous job with the county, and they end way earlier than my job at the training center, so with that time I’ve been feeling a second imposition session with deeper work now that everything in my room is clean enough to move around in. Not much forcing has been going on apart from today, but I’ve been thinking about how A3 could potentially transition from being a fox to a wild dog to reflect her personality. I think it fits her way better, but I’m not betting on it being a lasting idea, because somehow we always go back to the fox form after a while.

 

I’m happy about all the activity that’s been happening on the forum lately. Matt, yoshi, and fennec are back from the dead and answering questions like they never left, and lots more good pr’s have been popping up within the last two years. There’s so many writing styles and walks of life on this board it’s honestly crazy to see. I go back to what yoshi said to me every once in a while and I read these reports for inspiration. There’s just too many good reads to pass up.

 

If I don’t post on this thread in a while I fall out of practice, so maybe I can make this a more frequent thing. I was thinking weekly like bunnymustdie just because so much has been happening I feel like it’s worth posting a lot more.

 

As a treat for waiting this long for a new entry, have a pre-con draft I never got around to posting

Quote

I have to admit, I felt pretty special back then for being an imposer. The lack of recent coverage had made it seem like something that people lost commitment to over the years. I feel like I was the first to kickstart everyone's interest again, and that gives me an ego, but I now see that this whole thing was a house of cards. Any idiot could make an imposition pr. And people have. It just felt so much more special back then to have the attention of everyone.

 

This log has transcended me. Going back to older posts is like seeing a totally different person write under my name. Seeing how enthusiastic I was back then is a satisfying experience.

Anyway, I want to start forcing more. I’m working on a shaky foundation; my tulpa feels hollow to talk to and I don’t feel like I’m visualizing enough. What good is imposition if you don’t talk to your tulpa? Because it’s not something I do as much as I used to, because I’m bored of her being one-dimensional and being less developed. I can’t just talk to her and expect it all to come back to what it was four years ago, either

 

I need to start being more certain of what I impose. It’s a necessary step. Sometimes my imposition is left nebulous by my own half-assedness to visualize, and I found that if I put a little more effort into making the visualizations seamless and less abstract, the imposition will be allowed to become more vivid.

I need to talk about the current culture of isolationism and social norms because I feel like it has some merit in the face of modern tulpamancy but I can’t relate it to myself if I’m being a lazy bastard and I wouldn’t be forcing anyway even if that excuse didn’t exist

Edited May 31 by ringgggg

[ringgggg]

What the fuck was I saying yesterday