Converting a prior "imaginary friend" into a full tulpa, and concerns with anxiety

[Yakkers]

Hello, y'all, I've got a few questions to address here before I'm sure if I want to get started with this whole tulpa thing.

 

First off, I heard about tulpae last year from a friend of mine, and I immediately thought of an "imaginary friend" of sorts I had made several months before, which shares a lot of similarities to a tulpa. I had created an imaginary companion that I'd talk to in my mind to seek help for things without fear of looking like an attention whore, etc. Most of what I did was puppeting, I'd sort of plan out what I'd like to hear someone say and then be able to hear it coming from him. I could only talk to him at night laying in bed, but at all other times I can still sort of passively feel his existence. Anyways, I was wondering if it would be at all plausible to build this into a tulpa and have it feel like the same entity. Ever since it started to feel more real and I began to feel a bit of that bliss of presence, the puppeting hasn't been feeling as real so the whole thing's sort of been on the backburner ever since. I've been hoping that means the next step would be some proper development, maybe under the guise that I hadn't really gotten to know him on a personal level or in regards to appearance in our sessions.

 

Aaaand onto my second question, I've got some concerns involving anxiety. I saw in the FAQ that any mental illnesses tend to not be an issue, but I'm thinking some specific triggers may pose an issue. Anyways I'm diagnosed with severe anxiety, and my two biggest triggers are anything that makes the world feel less real (such as being in a partial dreamlike state from just waking up), and anything that I feel mentally trapped by (like noticing you can't stop your stream of consciousness or being aware of your blinking/breathing), and it seems like both of these might apply here. While having a tulpa seems pretty therapeudic, I think it might make me feel detached from everyone else's normal passive sense of reality, and if I get to full sentience I'm afraid of feeling trapped with it if I think too hard about the fact that it isn't real. More specifically, I'm terrified of hitting that point and feeling the need to get rid of him due to that, but still loving him and not wanting to have to do it.

 

Nothing came up for searches on anxiety so I'm not sure if anyone can really relate to the second bit, but I'd still love to hear some insight from some experienced creators on both points.

 

Thanks for reading ;w;

[Chupi]

Ever since it started to feel more real and I began to feel a bit of that bliss of presence, the puppeting hasn't been feeling as real so the whole thing's sort of been on the backburner ever since.

It's already happening. He's gaining sentience. And yeah, this could easily be made into a tulpa, and it sounds like he's already becoming one on his own.

 

Not so sure about the type of anxiety you have, but I have some form of anxiety disorder, primarily in social situations or anything that might lead to some kind of commitment. So far working on my tulpae has helped some.

 

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ASIDE: Tonight we did a bit of tulpa-guided freeform visualization attempting to pick out certain bits of my personality and either lock them away or "destroy" them, along with "reverse personality forcing" (having a tulpa try to tulpaforce new traits onto me). Specifically, we locked away a beast representing the source of the thoughts that pop into my mind that lead to spiraling into anxiety; then had Lyra pick out bits of anxiety and related things from my personality (represented by the essence we found before based on Bluesleeve's "core method" guide on the research board), put them in jars and chucked them into a volcano. Then we did some trait forcing based on TOG's jar method, giving me "adventurous" and "outgoing": she filled a jar with a 'magical' colored liquid while saying things to me about how the trait applies to me, then I drink the contents of the jar. When we got to "outgoing", I got some anxiety, but was able to just imagine taking it out and chucking it away; "that doesn't belong here". This is not something I recall ever doing about it before -- usually I can either do the anxiety-triggering activity anyway and wait for the anxiety to eventually fade, or cave to it. It's obviously too soon to tell, and it will probably need to be repeated some times, but I'm hoping this will help with my anxiety.

[Oguigi]

First question: You can build a tulpa base on this entity you've been communicating with, even before you found out about tulpa he was always their.

 

Second question: I understand your fears, but that won't happen a tulpa might change your sense of reality it but won't "detached" you from it, unless you perfect "switching" in which case that could be the case, but that something you can look up on your spare time.

 

Most Tulpa looks out for their creator best interest, it/he/she will never willing do anything that will bring harm to you.

[Tungan Ninja]

Concerning reality, a tulpa is as real as you are; the only difference being that you started with a physical body and he did not. Your perception on the matter therefore, is vital as it will reduce any anxiety you may express surrounding your imaginary friend's "realness". That is to say, if you believe he is real than he will become so, and if you do not, his presence will fade away. Note, my signature.

[Oguigi]

Concerning reality, a tulpa is as real as you are; the only difference being that you started with a physical body and he did not.

 

^This, yep tulpa is as Real as it gets. and it needs your attention to survive. and even more so to grow.

[fennecfoxx]

Anyways, I was wondering if it would be at all plausible to build a tulpa based on this and have it feel like the same entity.

 

Er, well... that's almost it. The thing is, though, don't create a tulpa based off of him; let him become a tulpa. Explain the concept of tulpa to him and ask if he'd like to be a tulpa.

 

From what you've said about him, it sounds as though he's already vocal and sentient, at least partially, so you can skip the early stages such as personality, narration, and so on (and you can forget about hour counts, since you've already made a ton of progress) and skip ahead to imposition.

 

There's nothing wrong with actually letting him be a tulpa; both of my tulpae started out the same way, as sentient (though only partially, in Alex's case), vocal imaginary friends who were "promoted" to tulpa status after I learned about tulpae.

[Yakkers]

 

Er, well... that's almost it. The thing is, though, don't create a tulpa based off of him; let him become a tulpa.

 

Oh that's exactly what I had in mind, I'll reword that bit of my first post to better reflect my intention.

 

Anyways I'm thinking I might try it bit by bit and judge if I'll be able to handle it before I go too far. Does it work like that? Will I potentially be able to back out once I get started?

[LLeRRoux]

Tulpae survive off of your attention. If you completely ignore them for a while and convince your brain they're not real, they'll just fade away.

[MisterTelecaster]

will I potentially be able to back out

Yes, but most likely it'll be a difficult process.

I really don't think you'll have any problems though, as long as you treat your tulpa with love and respect, which I assume you're doing, he'll give the same back to you, and might actually be able to help you with your anxiety. He defineately [sic] won't do anything negative though, as long as, like I said, you're not a douchebag to him.