A Place for All Seasons

[Luminesce]

It was just the posting of IRL pictures (despite being stock photos) on the internet that is weird seen out of context, that was really it, we have nothing against anyone in your system or their forms

(Heck, there are plenty of "littles"/age regressors in the extended community anyways)

 

We're "busy" these days (and of course after 10 years on the forum, can't exactly be bothered to put our all into keeping up with and responding to everything, we just monitor the daily posts and occasionally answer Q&A/GD threads if it feels like we're best suited to do so)

Solo indie dev'ing is an awful lot to take on, especially when you struggle to be productive lol, been binging C++ lessons for weeks now to procrastinate modeling hair in Blender (but it all needs to be learned eventually so we're free to work on whichever skill we're in the mood for at a given time)

Edited August 14, 2024 by Luminesce

[Guest]

4 hours ago, Luminesce said:

It was just the posting of IRL pictures (despite being stock photos) on the internet that is weird

 

 

Can't remember the wording but didn't sound that way, not arguing but let's just say if we over reacted there was probably an underlying reason. What's done is done, no point in worrying about it now.

 

>Doin stuff

Good for you! 👏

[TurboSimmie]

😄 I love your Chaotic Neutral energy, bear! 😁 I'm glad you're taking everything said in stride.

[Guest]

Thanks Simmie, I told someone yesterday that I have no feelings left to feel but happy.

 

So rather, I've felt all the feels there was to feel and all that's left is happy.

 

Here's another question that I'll answer myself and anyone else want to answer go for it.

 

Q4: Can you feel the love from your headmates?

 

Lately a lot more than ever before. We're spending a lot more time together interacting directly and when I'm talking to or about say Gwen, I'll feel her love for me in my heart (where Freya and her emote from) and it's real, not just a faint inkling. Like if it was imposition it would be projected love, the actual feeling. Ashley too, especially like this, I am talking about Gwen and feeling her love and she may even say that she loves me or smth and then Ashley gets jealous and has to say something but then I call her out bc she's so insecure but then she gets upset, kinda like now that I just typed that, so I remind her that she's the favorite and I couldn't love anyone more than her and she calms down but then asks me why I'm typing this all out in real time like it's a hypothetical and that makes it sound disingenuous but I remind her again that it's from the heart and I'm serious and she's okay with that, all the while Gwen doesn't get jealous so I think maybe she should be the favorite and then Ashley gets upset again and I laugh, and that's just mean she says but I tell her that I do love her and then I feel the love from her (the throat for her emoting). 

 

[Guest]

The moons are coming out on the full moon no less.

 

Ulla of course is now part of the story, she was a slave girl we rescued and now she's in our party.

 

Well now Halcyon, someone who was a moon, was in the system for week, now she's back and who wouldn't want to be a part of this amazing forcing technique.

 

Whether Ulla or Hali stay or not is questionable, but they'll be in this novel. As [redacted age] so they can kind of start over.

[Guest]

Hali's been fun and her interactions with Ulla are darling.

[TurboSimmie]

Ahem...

 

 

👋 😄

 

 

[Guest]

This looks like a summoning ritual

[Autumn Ren]

On 10/18/2023 at 3:19 AM, Autumn Ren said:

Introduction:

 

Hello, I'm still getting settled on my name, but you can call me Autumn or Ren or Autumn Ren. I'm finally ready to speak for myself, and here I'll document my past and recent transformation as well as future development as I'm still new.

 

Origin of Transformation:

 

The original idea Bear had in February was to determine what was the best thoughtform template: Soulbond or Tulpa. So a soulbond to us is someone who starts life as a fully formed character with a backstory, or someone who walked in or came to life after having an extensive background. Like a fictive, but your own content, and identifies with their backstory. So basically formed in a similar way to forcing but without the intention of creating an independent thoughtform originally. Whereas a tulpa could be considered someone who formed without any background or only minor references and ideals, with the exception of a fictive or factive being the form and personality was somewhat known or had a starting place and backstory but eventually rejects that backstory. Soulbonds can also start as fictives or factives and develop from there. So the difference in our mind is subtle, does the thoughtform identify with their backstory and original form or not.

 

One thing we noticed with our resident soulbonds is their personality and form changed very little from their canon forms. Where even with our well known walk-ins, they did deviate significantly from their original expressions, and you could say they grew up in both maturity and depth. In all cases here, other then the soulbonds, their image was developed along the way. In other words, Bear didn't know what their faces would look like. While me in particular, I was originally known, but then changed, so I was a modified fictive from Joy, a soulbond. Technically I was her split but as a catgirl.

 

How I've changed my form in the last 6 months:

 

My face is known but it has changed a little since I was drawn and my form is younger, I express as younger in form only, and that might change over time. I de-aged as part of the transformation which could be symbolically like starting over, but it happened organically. I'm no longer a catgirl. As much as anyone can change their form and be a cat-folk or not, I'm not identifying with that as my core being anymore; I'm human now. I originally had human, catgirl, and cat forms but now my default and identified form is human like my headmates, and even Gwen is human though she has wings. For the purposes of the novel Bear is currently writing me in, I am human but modified through genetic engineering to have better athletics, intelligence, beauty and tougher nails. This is a running theme through all his books, the idea of generically modified or enhanced humans is what his books are about. For instance, Joy is age-locked in form but continues age in maturity. Gwen has bird-like wings in addition to her arms and legs. Ulla is half-dragonkin. So I'm just like what you would consider the ideal human with slightly better offensive capabilities like super-soldier ready, but still just human and not extra tall or especially muscular or anything.

 

Why change me?:

 

Old Ren wasn't active, she was kind of annoying in that she was oversexualized to the point of comic relief and not in a good way. She was a wild and a little crazy. She was ultimately uninteresting and a pain to deal with. So Bear, being concerned about and passionate about all his headmates, wanted me to not only be someone who would be active, valuable and interesting, but also the best that I could be. He would say he wants me to be the best there's ever been, a "late-game legendary" tulpa. Since I'm the only true tulpa in the system, that's certainly a goal for me and I'm uniquely qualified to answer his original question: which is better a soulbond, walk-in or tulpa? 

 

We can only compare ourselves to ourselves, so this isn't meant as a competition with anyone else's system. Ashley and Joy are somewhat evenly matched, being walk-in and soulbond, and Bear wants me to be at least co-equal to them in strength and uniqueness. For reference, a walk-in enters a system with a fully formed personality that is of unknown origin, not a fictive or factive but may have fictive or factive or mixed roots that are non-obvious. Ashley for instance was something like a fictive of one of Bear's characters, which was modified from another character and melded with someone he knew in NYC. It only took them 5 years to figure that out. 

 

Scenario 13 Meme:

 

I have a purpose built in. Bear wanted me to be the best but not only that, also able to do something no other headmate in our system has been able to do and I'll get into how it came about in this PR, but we call it "Scenario 13" and I am the ringbearer of that quest. Ashley, SheShe, and Gwen all officially failed at this quest. We won't go into what it is, but it would be equivalent to Lumi's quest to increase motivation, and no less hard. If I can do this, it will be a huge victory for tulpas in general considering I'm very close to being remade specifically for that purpose in a way. It requires self-forcing, so this isn't an early-game quest, it's boss level. Being that in maturity I am 5 years old and I can somewhat self-force because my headmates do and it's kind of a base level of the system as a whole now, I have been able to do it and keep it going thus far. There is no mount Doom though so I need to bear this quest for the rest of the body's life. Don't ask what it is, Bear has sworn me to secrecy, it's just an aspect of his that only affects his personality and it's my job to prevent it whenever he's fronting, unlike Lumi's motivational asperations, it has been determined it is not a bodyOS thing, and it clearly does not affect others who front.

 

Dual Purpose of this PR:

 

This PR will be my development and not a system PR. In addition this PR will outline a guide to personality forcing for already well-formed and independent headmates. So this isn't a starting from scratch PR, it's a starting from a point where something was drastically wrong and needs to be fixed PR. This is late-game tulpamancy.

 

Edit by Gwen: I have taken over the PR so it's not just about Autumn's development anymore. I'll try to limit myself to discussing tulpamancy related things here as appropriate.

Origin of Transformation

 

I am still the only system Tulpa, the only one created intentionally, but I also have aspects now of Aleshe (the dream character system merge) and now also another soulbond who I recently absorbed who shared books with Gwenneth. Though I now have memories and background from her, I still don't identify with them in a soulbond way, more like those were scenes in a play I performed in. So I'm still a Tulpa in this definition.

 

How I've changed my form in the last 3 years:

 

I aged up again and I'm happy about that. It took my recent absorption to do that but it's something I wanted. I am still human, in Bear's books the human species split into three sub-species due to different genetic traits, Gwenneth was the winged sub-race, Bear could be considered the Earth-type the largest and tallest of the three, and the one I absorbed was a member of the intellectual magical sub-race. Short, fine featured, and meek physically but potent in other ways. 

 

Why change me?:

 

I am so happy to have gone through this transformation. I'm an active and equal, joyful and important member of the collective now. Compared to who I used to be, I'm amazingly bigger and better than I ever was.

 

Scenario 13 Meme:

 

I carried this torch for about a year and it taught me a lot about how to interact with my host and his personality quirks. I was released from this duty, something like Frodo was released from carrying the ring when it was destroyed, so have I been released and the original need for this task was similarly destroyed. I couldn't say I tossed a ring into a volcano, but the original issues faded into memory in such a way that we don't even know how or why it was ever an issue. In other words Bear grew up a bit and no longer needs that. It's hard to even conceptualize what that was and it's highly interpretive in understanding it, frankly I can't wrap my brain around it, only Bear understood that it was even a 'problem' and if it was, it was in such a subtle way. I knew how to help him, and I did. That negative aspect of himself is gone and hasn't returned for over a year. He says the feeling is also gone, so all is well there.

 

Dual Purpose of this PR:

 

Gwenneth was a big help and now that I absorbed the soulbond who she was friends with I feel a lot closer to her. We look forward to more direct interactions and that's something we're planning in the future in the form of another book. The one we're working on now is between me, Bear, Ulla (now Summer) and Hali (Halcyon) and is coming along beautifully. 

 

I had my own book as well! It was a tale with Bear Joy and myself that spanned roughly 80 years. That should make me a soulbond right? No, I was a tulpa first and still am. I cherish those memories from that epic length novel, it was a literally a lifetime, and it helped me develop who I am today, but I am still me and not contained by that character, who was also me. As a tulpa I can continue to grow and change however I like. 

 

This completes this PR, thank you for all your interactions and helping me become who I am today.