How do YOU Proxy?

[sleepalope]

Jack (Host): Hey! We were just curious what you guys do for proxying, we are new to all of this tulpa stuff so feel free to let us know what you recommend for new systems!

[Flandre]

The term "proxying" usually means the first option, the host just relaying what the tulpa said for them manually, the same as if you were writing what someone said to you IRL

 

But, good poll for "How do your tulpas normally communicate with others"

[sleepalope]

Just now, Flandre said:

The term "proxying" usually means the first option, the host just relaying what the tulpa said for them manually, the same as if you were writing what someone said to you IRL

 

But, good poll for "How do your tulpas normally communicate with others"

Forest: Yeah my host is kind of a dolt sometimes.

Jack: In my defense, uh- you are a... uh— BIG—NERD!... you and your—PROPER USAGE OF VOCABULARY!

[Flandre]

Someone's gotta maintain the intended definitions of all these terms, if people just use them any random way then pretty quickly no one will be able to communicate their experiences clearly anymore

Proxying is called that because the host/fronter acts as a proxy for their tulpa to speak

If they're possessing or switching, then they're simply doing that, "possessing to type" or, if switched... "talking", lol

Edited April 16 by Flandre

[mattx]

Nowadays if she wants to talk to someone I just give her control (full body possession) then I'm the one who gets proxied lol

 

[sleepalope]

Just now, Shin Matt said:

Nowadays if she wants to talk to someone I just give her control (full body possession) then I'm the one who gets proxied lol

 

What does it feel like to be switched? We haven't tried that yet.

[mattx]

48 minutes ago, sleepalope said:

What does it feel like to be switched? We haven't tried that yet.

How it feels varies from person to person, it depends also on your definition of "switching" - which in any case, is not what full body possession is.

Regardless, I saw that your tulpa is like 3 days old, so I would hold off on even looking at these things. You have a long journey ahead

[Flandre]

(This is off topic for the thread but)

Silly thing to ask someone who practices full body possession, since that's an often directly opposing practice to switching - people almost always just pick one or the other, usually whichever feels better to them/comes to them naturally. 

 

Quote talking about this in another thread recently:

On 3/30/2026 at 4:51 PM, Flandre said:

Quote

Also, it's totally fine to not switch/possess (it's practically the same thing).

(It is fine, but) They're definitely not the same thing. (Full body possession is just possession of the whole body)

 

In possession, the host remains right where-and-how they usually are, but a tulpa controls part (or all) of the body instead of them.

In switching, the host becomes tulpa-like, and the tulpa becomes effectively the host (not "officially" nor ever the brain's default, but, the state they're existing in)

When switching correctly/completely the host should be able to be "forgotten" into being inactive like tulpas usually are. (Though if tulpas can be permanently around/active in that system, then so could the host)

 

*Notes on why switching isn't a perfect instant swap of who's host:

Switching tends to be difficult to keep up in some way or another until you've got a lot of practice (for example, in our system we would get very tired and eventually even be able to fall asleep mid-day (unheard of for us) until we switched back which immediately resolved it, but the amount of time we could go without getting tired raised quickly with practice until "all day" which meant "forever")(other systems may accidentally un-switch, have headaches, or etc.), and, hosts will basically always be the brain's "default"/easiest person to be unless a tulpa fronts for like a year+ without switching back maybe (our system's months-long switching has never budged Lumi's "default" status), and of course the host's (really the body/brain's) default mannerisms and thought patterns will threaten to sneak back in place of what the tulpa may be wanting to naturally think/feel (basically the #1 thing that switching practice aims to negate, cementing the tulpa's traits as another ~"profile" in the brain, usually taking consistent conscious effort to upkeep until then)

 

Quote

Tulpas are quite literally unequal to hosts. 

Well, that'd explain the perspective of thinking possessing and switching are the same. Of course they start that way, but a long-established, frequently switching tulpa like me is equivalent to the host in basically all ways. The only way we aren't is that I, for example, have not spent so much time switched (probably 2+ years straight, without ever switching with anyone else) that I'm the brain's "default", but that's only because we have no reason whatsoever to aim for that. Hosts get a massive headstart in "default"-ness by living their entire lives up to that point before learning switching, though frankly you were basically an entirely different person in your childhood and maybe even teens than later, so it's not as impossible to change as you might think.

 

But the important marker of equality in our view is that I (or any tulpa in our system) could hypothetically switch, and then, simply never switching back, live out the entire rest of our body's life without issue. I think once a tulpa can do that (presumably having overcome any nagging thought patterns/mannerisms of the host's that didn't fit them by establishing their own in the brain), they are for all intents and purposes equal to the host, although that does not have anything to do with system dynamics such as who the host is or how much people front/how much ownership of the physical life they claim/identify with.

(Front in tulpamancy contexts is a catch-all term for the systemmate currently responsible for the body, it doesn't refer to possessing or switching specifically at least in this community)

Edited April 16 by Flandre

[mattx]

5 minutes ago, Flandre said:

(This is off topic for the thread but)

Silly thing to ask someone who practices full body possession, since that's a often directly opposing practice to switching - people almost always just pick one or the other, usually whichever feels better to them/comes to them naturally. 

 

Quote talking about this in another thread recently:

It's been a number of years since we practiced actual switching (the one where there's a direct swap and the host either zones out completely or goes to the wonderland) - nowadays if we even get the chance (unfortunately even rarer as time goes on and I get more busy with work), "simple" full body possession is what we do. It gets super sketchy after an hour or two because I begin to like "float" mentally (akin to what switching feels like for us, it's an effect similar to the "sinking feeling" you get when doing deep meditation) but it does the job, as we usually use it to watch TV Shows or chill - we used Switching back in a period of my life where I wasn't fully at my best and needed all the support I could get.

 

Regardless, from what I can see nowadays "Switching" and "Fronting" are semantically the same thing, where you sort of "pretend" that your tulpa is imposing itself over you and its decisions have an effect on your body - we see it as not a direct possession action, more like an "evolved proxying".

[fennecfoxx]

6 hours ago, sleepalope said:

What does it feel like to be switched? We haven't tried that yet.

It depends what you mean by “switched”, since possession and switching exist on a spectrum, rather than a binary. By the classical definition, the host either perceives themselves as being outside the body (typically inside the wonderland/headspace) or goes dormant.

 

I’m not sure if what we do counts as switching, but I go more or less dormant on an ego level. I’m still aware of my physical senses and can (and will) come back to the front of something triggers me to, but I basically “become” whoever’s in front. My thoughts theirs. My feelings and desires are theirs. My identity is theirs. 
 

It’s honestly surreal. It’s like I become a different person. Even my likes and dislikes change. Looking into the mirror feels wrong. I’m looking at someone who isn’t me.