I am considering absorbing Tulsi.

[Moose]

I am 60 hours in. And yet:

 

-I very rarely get anything emotional (in fact, it seems to happen less often than it did 20-30 force-hours ago...), and what little I do could just be misinterpreted.

-I still puppet unwillingly.

-She rarely does anything on her own, and (just like with emotional responses) that could just all be misinterpreted.

-She does not appear unless I think to see her. I can tell her I'm arriving all I want, but unless I suppose to see her somewhere, she will not be anywhere.

 

I have fucked over many things on the path of creation, from major screw-ups, like my terrible visualization and puppeting, to minor ones such as not fleshing out her personality quite as much as I would have liked (hindsight is 20/20, etc.)

 

I have been vexed by worries of Tulsi's lack of sentience for at the very least twenty force hours. And yet I still try, still narrate to her throughout the day, speak to her just as if she is sentient (if she's not, no one is harmed by this but me ( '-') ), force with her and work with her as if everything will be alright. But if this is to be naught but a charade by the end, I'd like it to end before I've spent another sixty force-hours in this stagnation that I've been in since thirty hours in or so.

 

So, as the title says, I'm considering absorbing Tulsi and restarting the process, taking everything I have learned along the way into account, planning everything out, and attempting to stop every screwup in my path. Because if Tulsi will be nothing but practice in the end, she'll be practice for a damn well made tulpa.

 

I will, of course, give Tulsi the time to prove herself, give myself the time to think this through and not act rashly, and get more experience and thought on the process as it's going (for future work or current work(however it turns out)). I of course feel for Tulsi, whether she's actually there or not, and would be loathe to destroy her if she was in fact sentient. I will be giving this at least ten more forcing hours before I come to any real decision. I've bitched about my worries several times, but this is the first time I've actually considered this. But even if this is the first time I've considered it, I have known, objectively, for a while that if I were to restart, in the end I would have a much better built tulpa. But my fondness for Tulsi has prevented me from seriously considering it until now, let alone carrying it out.

 

I am putting this here more for my own thinking than anything else, but input would of course be read and weighed, if you have anything to say.

 

 

Edit: Following Chupi's suggestion, I will have a second wave of personality forcing (even if even up 'til now I've tried to do a bit of personality every session), and elaborate and expand her personality. There's plenty of time, might as well do what I can, hopefully this will be productive.

[Guest]

Just use my method.

 

I'll post about it later.

[Chupi]

Nothing you describe is fatal, nor does it add humongous amounts of time to the process. Some of your mistakes will lengthen the process, but they only inhibit progress / waste the time you put in when doing them. Nothing you describe would set you back further than starting over from scratch.

 

>cruddy visualization

Same here. I've just resigned myself to spending a lot longer on the visualization phase.

 

>puppeting

You might try Pronas's idea from a few hours ago on the IRC: Feel along her body and imagine cutting strings that let you control her. It's symbolically giving up your ability to parrot her. He said so far it seems to be working.

Also, parroting delays sentience. I don't think it rules out sentience. Note that glitch has Luna for years as a completed servitor, so no shortage of parroting there.

 

>personality

Do more personality now. Both Rhyme and glitch (on Europa) did a second personality phase, and that's when both their tulpae became sentient. I've been doing this for the past few days.

[Moose]

>puppeting

You might try Pronas's idea from a few hours ago on the IRC: Feel along her body and imagine cutting strings that let you control her.

 

I actually did that on my own, but it didn't seem to do anything =\

 

 

Though perhaps a second personality phase could be just what she needs, even if even up 'til now I've tried to do a bit of personality every session. I'll work on that, we'll see how it goes. There's still time, as I said, I'm not acting on this any time soon.

[ThatOneGuy]

Everything Chupi said. Having poorly developed skills just lengthens the process; it doesn't make it impossible.

[Lulu]

I would suggest forcing on getting head voices first.

[Chupi]

I would suggest forcing on getting head voices first.

You mean go for vocal, then worry about finishing the form later?

 

Strikes me as a wee bit silly since 2 hours of forcing a day progresses the form quite nicely. And that only takes 2 hours away from narration, the part that leads to her becoming vocal. He could even try narrating to her in the wonderland.

(Actually, I should try that... I wonder if it would have more effect since you're looking right at her.)

 

Then again, if it's sapping his energy or causing undue worry, that could result in significantly less successful narration.

 

One other concern I have with Moose's methods: last I heard, Tulsi is spending tons of time naked, with Moose saying she can ask for clothes when she's sentient. I think this could be delaying it because the whole point is to treat the tulpa as if she *is* already sentient, as much as possible.

 

 

or it could be al the tulsifapping in the irc

 

[Moose]

One other concern I have with Moose's methods: last I heard, Tulsi is spending tons of time naked, with Moose saying she can ask for clothes when she's sentient. I think this could be delaying it because the whole point is to treat the tulpa as if she *is* already sentient, as much as possible.

 

 

You misunderstand me. I have given her clothes on many occasions, but none of them feel quite right. It's not that I'm just thinking "Oh, I'll worry about it when she's talking and asks for them" or "Oh, she doesn't deserve clothes until she talks", it's more like "I have no clue what to have her wear... she'll probably know/be able to tell me what she wants to wear whenever.". Plus, with my mediocre visualization, that gives more time to visualize everything that would otherwise be covered more.

(minor edit: I did try to have her choose between two things once, via pointing (or any other indication she'd like to give), but she did nothing. Eh, better than puppeting)

[Wireless]

Yup, sounds a lot like what I've been getting, although I have many less doubts about her sentience and motion. Puppeting and lack of emotional response (unless vaguely answering yes/no questions counts) are a pain to constantly treat. Whatever you do, keep going, seriously, 60 hours it's not even bad. Try to improve your narration hour count, do some more personality work, and lots of concentration efforts on the sessions. Whatever you do, keep going, seriously, you'd need to have a very hard time to really screw up.

[Chupi]

Moose: I once let Lyra choose an outfit by coming up with a few choices, then listing them and seeing which I got the most feels from her on. I repeated it a few times to make sure, and because she still seems a bit confused about becoming sentient.