historical July 11, 2013 Author July 11, 2013 Yeah well I'm back on the forums a little, though nearly not as much as before. Fucking still working on tulpas, I think I have the early onset of a Jimmy Complex. http://articles.tulpa.info/amadeus-exodus-a-tale-of-tulpa/ my god, look at the insightful read I found. fourfiction, the idiot.
historical July 12, 2013 Author July 12, 2013 Indeed. Did some wonderland work last couple days and have reached the conclusion that visualization is certainly a skill that requires practice, because I'm not as good as I used to be before 'Nam. There's two different types of visualization I noticed myself partaking in: active and passive. Active is where I use 90-100% of my attention and focus to see shit either on the back of my eyelids or through my eyelids. Passive is where I think of the visualization, but don't necessarily 'see' it as a sense. I imagine it. Active, I figure, is the most reliable because of the absence of random thoughts and distractions. There's probably real names for those kinds of visualization elsewhere, but I don't know them. I take about 15-20 minutes of fucking around in wonderland before my visualization is consistent and reliable. I also can't feel my body around that time if I haven't moved yet, which is fucking awesome. fourfiction, the idiot.
Guest Anonymous July 12, 2013 July 12, 2013 So you can actually see your wonderland? Imposed on the back of your eyelids? Does one work on that like with imposition? How long did it take for you? Thank you.
historical July 12, 2013 Author July 12, 2013 No, what I am seeing is just mental visualization. I just try to see it on the back of my eyelids so that I have a focal point to keep concentration. For imposition of Kat, I had her stand in the middle of my room and I just walked around her and tried to 'soak up' as many details as possible. She's still the same as if I just imagined something there, but she is detailed. It took about a week to get used to seeing Kat. Did I answer your question somewhere in there? fourfiction, the idiot.
historical July 13, 2013 Author July 13, 2013 I'm going to try again with Miku. Tonight I didn't get more than a few minutes in, but I'm very tired and can't concentrate much. I was actually going to play Black Ops and then go to sleep and skip tonight because I was so tired but as soon as I turned on my Xbox and put the game in I was like "No...this isn't right. I should force, I owe her." So I did. I changed to a new wonderland to help solidify the fact that I'm starting over again for reals. Miku is the usual unresponsive type, but I expect that. She's been neglected for months. I know the first time it took her a few weeks to show signs of being alive, so I'll be patient. I also think of her more as a daughter then as a companion now, and it helps me 'want' to force. I took Anon's advice and reenforced the fact that her mind and mine are separate. Even if I try to read her mind or go into her thoughts I get booted out by a subroutine I installed in her mind. Symbolism and shit. It's actually fun, because I CAN'T get in there anymore, and trying results in pissing the subroutine off and its fun and stuff. There's actually a sense of "holy shit this mind is inside my head and I CANNOT get in it." "...cooooool." I'm still working on getting my old belief system back, but motivation is high now, so should be a walk on the beach. A very long, patient, sandy beach. Fuck I need to go the beach more often. fourfiction, the idiot.
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