As My Attorney

[Mr. Duke and His Attorney]

...And a good south wind sprung up behind;

The... ...did follow...

 

...'Twas right, said they, such birds to slay,

That bring the fog and mist...

 

...With his cruel bow he laid full low

The harmless...

 

...Water, water, every where,

And all the boards did shrink;

Water, water, every where,

Nor any drop to drink...

 

...O sweeter than the marriage-feast,

'Tis sweeter far to me,

To walk together to the kirk

With a goodly company! -

[Lacquer]

wuuut

[Mr. Duke and His Attorney]

Google, yo. Trace the source, make the connections.

 

2013-04-07

 

Slept against a tree in the forest. Slept in my car. Slept in someone's porch (in the sun, on a couch; better than expected). Slept along an exit ramp in my car. Raged around a forest with a wooden sword. Laid a nonstop Pokemon smack-down. Helluva weekend. Could have done with less passive aggression, but stress was high so it was understandable. Picked up a lot of great audio/video. Being able to read emotional flow, especially among large groups, actually sucks hardcore at times.

 

As for forcing, a lot can be done on long, empty car rides. I tried a few different things, such as conversation, pink noise, and tulpa tones, but what worked best was shutting off my mindvoice while driving and imagining my attorney in the back seat while focusing hardcore on the shapes, colors, contours, etc. of the view ahead of me.

 

I need to dump a lot more time into forcing and focus on moving forward/taking the next step rather than staying at this plateau. Apart from more visual practice, I think it is time to start voice-work. What has been working best so far for me is to put on some kind of music and keep myself focused with it. I have an easier time keeping my thoughts from wandering and losing track of time. This works as long as I can intertwine the music, wonderland, and forcing. I'm at a tipping point right now, and it could go either way, so I need to catapult ahead or risk returning a number of spaces back.

 

#needashower #reconnect #bellossomallday

[Lacquer]

So how's that guide you said you were working on coming along?

[Sands]

Huh, did this thread have some posts deleted from it?

[Mr. Duke and His Attorney]

Quite possibly, though I have no clue what. I can check, though. It was getting that "no third page" error.

 

If it did get posts deleted, it would have been probably before 3/27.

 

And yeah, that guide got shoved to the back-burner because I need to observe a local ESL class. And I decided to take it more seriously than I was, so I plan on pulling a lot of citations for it. The basic bits of it are to practice entering a visual mode by turning off your mind-voice and only focusing on what you see. I'm going to put some really simple drills in it that will just straight up level up your ability to visualize that you can do anytime, anywhere. Most of the entering a hypo-something-something state stuff is unnecessary, if not all of it. It gets the same results, but it is much more complicated and time-consuming.

[Sands]

No, I'm pretty sure that your poem had more people explaining what it is but now I'm not sure. Oh god please help I'm going insane. I'm taking over your progress report here by the way.

[Mr. Duke and His Attorney]

Ah! Well, damn. I missed all of those posts, but I can only assume they were all about Iron Maiden. That sucks, though, because I'd like to know what people were saying. Was it just pointing out where it came from? Or did people get into the details of why and my painfully obvious redaction? Since they were deleted, I hope there wasn't a bitchfest or something (it's only supposed to be my personal sendoff, anyways). If it was to preemptively stop a bitchfest, consider my heart warmed that we're able to so aptly reflect reality's order-system. Hopefully, it was just poking fun at my sentimentality, attempts at cleverness and/or cliches. Speaking of which--

 

2013-04-10

 

Well fuck, I managed to get a tick and sick from this weekend's excursion. I'm not sure if I'm sick because of the antibiotics for the bite, because I slept on a frat house porch-couch, or because of sleeping outside. Huh, I guess that's that silver-lining; the whole cloud can't be white.

 

My main forcing style lately has been musical. Dancing and battling are my favorite so far, and it is much easier to remain focused while doing this. And to kind of tune-out my main/normal thought process. I'm going to focus some more on voice-work, but I'm moving incredibly slowly. I think that the best way to really set in the voice idea is to link it up as coming from your tulpa somewhere (around you, spatially, and their mouth is moving, and stuff), rather than just attempting to commune with a disembodied voice. I definitely feel, though, that the more I get into the particulars, the slower this will go.

 

I could probably just rush headlong into this and shoot for the end from the start. It would probably work. I wonder if that's the way I would enjoy doing it most, though.

 

I've also run into another metamodern idea: hyperconceptualism. It's neat. No clue exactly what it means yet, but it kicks a ton of ass. Something to do with an extreme version of universal thoughts only existing in the mind and not reality. Perhaps, rather than invalidating said thoughts, they are valid only within the mind. Aletheia/truth is in there somewhere, too. And because of that most recent Doctor Who episode, I'm coming up with my own definition of the soul. Ah, but uniqueness is a universal. Hm. Hm. A lack of universals may also be a universal? I think I'm using the word as synonymous with "absolute". Maybe I should spend more time on Wikipedia, first. I have no doubt that this idea is key to Tulpas.

 

Don't worry Sands, if you think you're taking over my PR, then perhaps an epic battle will ensue. I'll prepare my blocks of text.

 

#clichesarethefuture #clichesareradiohead

[Mr. Duke and His Attorney]

2013-04-15

 

We are difficult to understand--

It was hard to make this simple plan work--

Difficult, and that's what made it burn.

 

You're a satellite around my heart,

One million miles before the start,

Indescribable, and that's what makes it you.

 

Shivers up and down my spine,

Feet to the teeth

Inside this big, bright, world.

Inside this big, bright, world.

Inside this big, bright, world.

 

We rage against the dying...

Rage against the dying light.

 

You're mysterious;

You make no sense--

I love you 'cause you're innocent,

You fell out through a hole inside the sun.

 

So, magnify the best inside me,

Build the parts that you can't find me,

The parts that won't give out when things get hard.

 

Shivers up and down my spine,

Feet to the teeth

Inside this big, bright, world.

Inside this big, bright, world.

Inside this big, bright, world.

 

Round and around in the setting sun,

Round and around in the setting sun,

Round and around in the setting sun,

Round and around and around and around and around

 

Inside this big, bright, world.

Inside this big, bright, world.

Inside this big, bright, world.

 

We rage against the dying...

Rage against the dying light

 

I’m with you,

I'm with you,

I'm with you,

I'm with you,

I'm with you,

I'm with you,

[Yeah,] I'm with you,

I’m with you.

 

#notmykindofpeople #garbage #waytoosoonforthis #emphasisnotadded

[Mr. Duke and His Attorney]

Two things of note. First, I've decided this endeavor will not work without a number of hours per day active forcing. At the very least, for this stage, it is probably necessary. Further, combine this with Fede's constant(all-day) acknowledgment, conversation or emotion[al channeling] whatnot including an intuitive idea of responses and such.

 

Second. I've been looking a lot into Daoism and a bit into Buddhism. I believe this may be impossible without either the Daoist idea of an empty mind/vessel that can perceive the world in an unfiltered kind of way, or the Buddhist concept of "mindfulness."

 

Mindfulness is essentially an extreme focus on the present. It involves your mind either focusing with no voice-thoughts floating around in your head, or controlling your mind so it does not wander from this moment at all. The idea is to be able to prevent your mind from being distracted. Tulpaforcing kind of incurs this anyway, especially the more traditional stuff of last year, and the Buddhist methods.

 

A mind that is quiet and does not wander or is super-busy all the time can hear a tulpa much, much better. Combining mindfulness with a Daoist attitude is best, I think. Though, this is only tip-of-the-iceberg-shit for both religions. Also, I'm definitely still an atheist, but these religions are the damn shit. For the most part.

 

EDIT: Yeah... LucidAcid basically has this all down already. My take on it is to enter a kind of semi-permanent meditation-state.

EDIT EDIT: Acknowledge the thought, and then push it away? Brilliant.

 

Triple EDIT: Oh boy, today's a holiday (4/30). Time to celebrate. Maybe I'll make a real update soon when I have something worthwhile to say. I'm working some stuff out. Something about mindfulness and the benefits of long-term tulpaforcing where little seems to get done. But, uh, this is just being optimistic and is in no way a better option than constant heavy forcing.