skwoogle March 28, 2013 March 28, 2013 Well, this is my attempt at making a tulpa. I've been recording what I've been doing for the past while, and I'll continue to update. How about a bit of backstory... So I'm going against what all the guides have said and I'm basing my tulpa off of a real character (something that seems surprisingly common). Her name is Lilly and she's based off the character Lilly Satou from Katawa Shoujo (the blind one). However, my goal is to create A Lilly Satou, not THE Lilly Satou. Any change that the tulpa chooses to have are perfectly fine, and I even encourage it. So... yea! Anything you would like to say/ask/add would be cool. I'm just gonna be posting almost daily reports here (I tend not to force on the weekends, but it happens occasionally). Day 1 (March 22nd, 2013)- I have started to talk with Lilly. While the responses are mainly still what my concious mind is making her say, it seems to help me develop what I want her personality to be like. She is 19 years old, just older than myself. I want her to be at a relateable age to myself. I feel this will help me connect and create her better than I could otherwise. She acts elegantly, but cares deeply about others and is always willing to help people with the issues that they may have (almost motherly). I also managed to create a list of traits that fit her personality (sorry avalanche, I'm gonna steal your format): Loyal- kind, dependable, helpful, steadfast, friendly, leading Honest- vocal, considerate, practical, hardworking, quiet Mature- brave, courtious, thoughtful, positive, strong morals Passive- decisive, avoidant, addictive, apprehensive Casual- open, caring, calm, cheery, trusting The loyal section refers to how she is with her friends. Her friends are her heart, and she will stand by them no matter what. She will depend upon them and is fine with them depending her. She is willing to take the lead when no one else will, but does what is best for everyone and takes any input into consideration. The honest section refers to how she approaches work, problems, and projects with both her friends and anyone else. She is vocal enough to say what is needed despite what others may want to hear, but also knows when to keep quiet and just enjoy the silence. When she needs to get work done, she will get it done in time. It may not be immediatly, but it will get done. She also won't lie if someone else is getting in trouble for something she has done. She will admit her mistakes and not try to hide it or shift the blame. The mature section refers to her interactions in tense situations or situations that require a level head. She can and will take charge in an urgent situation, and is willing help out anyone in need or trouble. She always looks on the bright side, and always does the right thing. The passive section is really some of her faults. She's decisive to the point that, while it may be good for everyone in the beginning, long term concequenses may not be considered. She often ends up avoiding topics that she doesn't like, especially those involving some of her more personal problems. Even when she chooses to talk on these topics, she talks as lightly as possible, sometimes stepping around the issue. Finally, with her personality, she is easily addicted to things like alcohol, tea, ect. Finally, the casual section refers to her general demenor. She may have an air of elegance, but she is often just very laid-back and relaxed. She finds very little that offends her, and even if something does, she can easily brush it off. For the most part, she wears her heart on her sleeve, trusting almost anyone and almost always staying calm, collected, and happy. That's all I've been able to decide on so far, I may expand/contract the list as time goes on and she evolves into her own interesting being. Also, I have done no re-reading of what is written here, so I'm sorry for any repitition. Tulpa: Lilly (Human, Based On The Character From Katawa Shoujo, SHE ISN'T BLIND) You can follow the progress Lilly and I make here!
Guest Anonymous March 28, 2013 March 28, 2013 Hanako is best cripple girl. I tend not to force on the weekends, but it happens occasionally Why not take advantage of the free time you have?
skwoogle March 28, 2013 Author March 28, 2013 Day 3 (March 24th, 2013) - I've decided to focus on Lilly instead of my original intention to create Cinder as my tulpa. I wasn't really able to concentrate much today, as I have designated the weekends to my days off from forcing, but I have managed to get started on the basic outline of her form. She is around my height at 5' 9" tall (slightly shorter). She is slender but not overly skinny. I will be keeping the long blonde hair and the cloudy blue eyes that so well define her. However, change is enevitable, so I am leaving what I'm doing open to the interperatation of my mind. Not much has been done other than that. Still no responses from her really, but I try to talk to her at least 2 times a day. Once after I'm finished school for the day and once before I go to bed. I feel like I am making progress, but based on how long I've been at it, I don't expect to hear her for a bit still. Day 4 (March 25th, 2013) - The time I had put into my other tulpa certainly seemed to help me with the visualization. While it may not be perfect, I have managed to get her basic form, clothes and all. I will be making more outfits, but until she's more sentient I'm not really gonna worry about it. I had some trouble with making the hands, but once I stopped focusing on them and worked on other parts, they seemed to create themselves. Could she be helping me already? Doubtful, but I'm happy with it anyways. I did some basic movement with her, seeing what she looked like while walking, picking up things, ect. and it doesn't look half bad. I also went over facial expressions. While I had been notified that this would slowly begin to happen, I was slightly startled to feel my own emotions starting to mirror those of the ones I had been causing her to show. It wasn't much, but I'm sure it will come along (those that I practiced were happy, sad, angry, embarassed, tired, and how she looks while giggling or laughing). The final thing I did was spend a bit of time just talking to her. Well, I guess talking AT her would be the better assesment. No real reactions could be seen, but they will just take time. I'm going to talk to her before bed again. Even if it doesn't do much, I feel more of the connection during this time. Also, it helps me get to sleep, so why not. Day 5 (March 26th, 2013) - I wasn't able to do much today, as my brother and mom were both off of work today. It doesn't really make for a quiet and peaceful environment to concentrate in. I went over the visualization a bit, but no real substance came from it. I mostly worked on the facial expressions and features some more, and I feel they are nearly perfect (I say that now...). I still cannot seem to visualize her in the world around me, probably for a lack of an ability to enter a lucid consious state. I keep trying but... nothing. I've been talking to her more, as I wasn't able to focus on the visual form. I seem to have chosen a voice for her, and I'm quite pleased with it. It's different from what I had originally expected, but it's good. She has yet to actually respond with something I haven't told her to say, but it's getting closer. I still feel anything she does is being controlled by my consious mind, but less and less. It's almost command-like now. I think that she should start pacing, and she does. It isn't me thinking the whole thing through. I'd say that's an improvement. Still no movement based on her own accord, at least without me telling her what to do. I'm going to talk to her before bed again, but that's still a ways off. I'm surprised how quickly this is happening. Why not take advantage of the free time you have? My family isn't around during the week, so I get a lot of quiet time to myself to just sit and force. During the weekends, there is substantially less peace. Especially when I'm at my Dad's house (there are small children running and yelling, fun). Day 6 (March 27th, 2013) - I'm amazed at how well things seem to be progressing. Maybe it's just continuous and repetitive attention, I'm not sure. I tried to work on touch and smell association. No real progress with those, though I am between two smells to associate with, Strawberries and Black Tea. Seems fitting, probably leaning towards the tea. I talked a whole bunch more. Still no involuntary reactions, but now her responses are starting to feel more like the commands I have been using with her movement. I think her general reaction or response, and she just says something along the lines of what I thought. However, I just realized, the responses rarely change her facial expressions. I really must work on that. I'm about to head off to bed, so I'll have my nightly chat with her. I can't wait for her own responses. Tulpa: Lilly (Human, Based On The Character From Katawa Shoujo, SHE ISN'T BLIND) You can follow the progress Lilly and I make here!
skwoogle March 29, 2013 Author March 29, 2013 Day 7 (March 28th, 2013) - Not a lot of progress today. I've decided that I'm going to focus on black tea as the smell of choice. I'm going to try having some near me every time I force, as it should help. No real improvement otherwise, which seems to be a bit of a first. It'll just take time, no matter how frustrating that can be. However, I have noticed that as I talk to her she tends to sway slightly back and forth, so that's something. I'm off to talk to her again! Night! Tulpa: Lilly (Human, Based On The Character From Katawa Shoujo, SHE ISN'T BLIND) You can follow the progress Lilly and I make here!
skwoogle March 30, 2013 Author March 30, 2013 Day 8 (March 29th, 2013) - More conversations today. A few half-responses, but still not much. My friend had been recommended trying some tones to help me concentrate so I decided to test one out. I can only describe my experiences as "Waking Nightmares". I was possibly one of the worst experiences of my life, and I was especially disturbed whenever I would try to imagine Lilly and some horrific scenario would unfold. I stopped listening, and it got better, and I eventually got to have some sane conversations with her. Never again. Tulpa: Lilly (Human, Based On The Character From Katawa Shoujo, SHE ISN'T BLIND) You can follow the progress Lilly and I make here!
skwoogle April 2, 2013 Author April 2, 2013 Day 9 (March 30th, 2013) - She decided to blur herself entirely. No idea why. My friend and I have speculated that it is because she is either changing her form or wants me to focus on more detail. I'm going to try out the tone again tomorrow, maybe it will help if I can get past the nightmarish images. I'm going to make everything look as perfect as possible. I'm going to talk to her now, time for bed. Day 10 (March 31st, 2013) - The tone worked! Thank you clairvoyant focus! I was able to push the nightmarish images from my mind and really talk to her. Well, when I say talk to her, I mean I kind of yelled at her. Mostly out of frustration. However, all she did was stand there, smiling. It was the first moment that I felt she was sentient, and that she knew what I was saying and why. I'm going to apologize to her tonight, but that's all for now! Day 11 (April 1st, 2013) - Last night, I got my first response. I was apologizing to her, and attempting to talk to her, and she was giving me short responses. Nothing big, but she also chose to change her voice to mess with me. With one sentence she sounded like Kanade from Angel Beats, and the next she sounded like Stocking from Panty & Stocking. She did tell me after that she was messing with me, but then that was the end of the replies. Today, I tried to force, but nothing much came of it. I'm going to continue with going over her appearance tomorrow, but I'll be sure to talk to her tonight. That's all for now! Tulpa: Lilly (Human, Based On The Character From Katawa Shoujo, SHE ISN'T BLIND) You can follow the progress Lilly and I make here!
skwoogle April 4, 2013 Author April 4, 2013 Day 13 (April 3rd, 2013) - Forgot to update yesterday, sorry. Not much happened. I managed to talk to her again, and she's becoming more responsive. She still has mostly my own opinions on things, but I'm sure her independence will come with time. She still seems to like doing different voices, knowing that I'm still having trouble pegging down a proper voice for her. Also, she keeps complaining that her face doesn't look right. I know, she knows, I just need more time to work on it. More forcing will be done tomorrow, I took today off. I'm going to go to bed now, and have a conversation with her. Night! Tulpa: Lilly (Human, Based On The Character From Katawa Shoujo, SHE ISN'T BLIND) You can follow the progress Lilly and I make here!
Lacquer April 4, 2013 April 4, 2013 I say just let the voice develop (deviate) naturally. Also, is the "no" in this thread's title supposed to be "any"?
Asquerade April 4, 2013 April 4, 2013 I'd hate to be 'That Guy', but the correct grammar would be 'Unlike any other', or 'Like no other'. Alternatively, 'Like no-one ever was. To catch them is my real test, to train them is my cause!' If I suddenly drop out of Chat, it means I was on my old and unreliable laptop. Was. PM me instead, because I can reply to PMs using my 3DS, but it can't use Chat. Progress Report
skwoogle April 7, 2013 Author April 7, 2013 Day 16 (April 6th, 2013) - I really need to remember to keep updating here. Since my last update, not much has changed. Lilly continues to talk to me, I continue to have trouble with her voice (and she continues to mock me for this), and she still seems to have my opinions on everything. However, when talking to a friend today, she manged to speak to me. While it may not sound like much, she hasn't been able to say anything to me without my complete focus on her up until now. It was a quick quip, but progress none the less, and then nothing. No more response at all. Oh, when I say I've been having trouble with the voice, it's not that I'm not letting it develop (I am, as it seems to be slightly different every time I talk to her), it's the fact that she will change between other voices (voices she and I both know aren't right). She seems to like to do it for fun, and to mock me. That's about it, I'm gonna talk to her tonight again (as always). Hopefully, I'll update a bit more. Tulpa: Lilly (Human, Based On The Character From Katawa Shoujo, SHE ISN'T BLIND) You can follow the progress Lilly and I make here!
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