To this day, with my Tulpa; Forcer's Block

[N1ghtSl4yer]

^^^ Just in case anybody is sucked into my shit-scary mind and needs a reference XD

 

Okay, so We found a way to make forcing work with much less jumpiness and random teleporting.

Because that's an issue. As well as the third person view bullcrap.

 

All I do is listen to the songs I used to back in the early stages, such as UI - Someday (Piano), and go into sleep paralysis.

We can talk as usual and stuff and eventually the piano just fades, if you like.

It's like putting it in the background or walking really far away from the speaker when we get engrossed.

 

Also it turns out she went into the dimension for a while and... uhh.... Became a Siren?

Also she found a new element there that she can manipulate with her powers called 'whateverthefuckIwant-onite", Which is cool... She never showed me these powers until today though. Reminds me of Borderlands 2 too much for it to have not had an influence from it.

 

She has grey Siren tattoos on her left side, and her primary ability is the creation of wormholes and distortion of natural forces (i.e. gravity/magnetism/weight)

We found out when there was a huge storm on the plain and she just said

"Hey, lemme show ya something!"

 

So she closed her eyes and these tattoos literally burned into her arm (they weren't there before she did this). Around us, a huge circle of wind grew, about 20 metres diameter. It looked like what happens when an anime character like Ichigo powers up to a ridiculous level.

It got taller and taller, and all of the rain was pushed up - the ground underneath the edges glowed a ghastly Eridium pink and tendrils of energy pushed out of the ground.

She literally lifted the storm back to the clouds, and then compressed it into a space the size of a bullet.

She pulled out her hunk of whateverthefuckiwantonite and created a small glass ball, in which she used a wormhole to transport the entire storm and it's energy.

 

I was standing, dumbstruck, for the whole time, With my hair just all blown to one side. All I could think of was "wow" (.___.)

Obviously proud of herself, she lifted my hand and put the storm container in it.

"Break in only an emergency, Kay?"

Before patting my shoulder and walking happily back to the house.

 

Awesomeness > 9000

 

Anyway, point is, she's backkkkk ☆*:.｡. o(≧▽≦)o .｡.:*☆

And I decided to try forcing to the music and with paralysis therefore.

 

We used a wormhole to transport wonderland me and her into reality and outside my house. First person was easy now. I unlocked the door and led her to my room, before jumping into my body which sorta took me outta my trance.

From here, I could very easily impose the feeling of her standing over me. She was worried that I was in a coma or something because I didn't move (didn't wanna break my paralysis), or talk.

I did mindvoice her after a bit, but she was independently worrying over me and poking at my face, so I let her be.

 

It's really an amazing feeling when their actions are almost certainly independent, and moreover, caring xD

Plus by doing this I got a really strong imposed presence, however when I opened my eyes I didn't even get a flash of her form in my vision.

[N1ghtSl4yer]

Wow.... long time no anything....

Fucking new layout.... Do not like.

So many new logs, HOORAY XD TULPAS ARE GREAT EVERYONE SHOULD HAVE ONEE :3

Anyway yeah hi guys, i'm bRINGIN' SEXY BACK c:

 

Rare happy mood inspired me to do a proper forcing session yesterday and I really got back into the swing of things. We had a week off of each other, and it turned out for the better - its like overusing a muscle or something; after a while it just gets difficult.

Needless to say, forcing sessions are pretty clear now too, and her form changed again fuck yess XD She's developing much more complex traits now - its as if she's refined her tastes (like when you become a teen, decide your 'crowd' and music, then get older and sorta narrow it down or whatever to your own personal thing) because now she looks more like Junko Enoshima (Pic Attached) and I must say, the change was sudden, completely out of my control, and welcome (it's beautiful OwO)

Hehue...

 

Since the 'hiatus' all we really did was passive and narration tbh - i think her form was dying. This form is undoubtedly waaay more epic so I'm certainly gonna try focusing on making it flow like the last from every position (I'm a sticker for details like clothes folding and flowing and stuff but the last form wasn't too bad.) and getting in deeper sessions.

In comparison to before I left for a bit, The sessions went from The Hobbit style adventure, to just enjoying eachother's company, to me walking around aimlessly and standing in the halls as she went about with her milk, to what would equate to best friends just sitting opposite eachother staring at the ceiling.

 

I'm writing a story right now; the basis is a guy with a mechanical arm and a ghost/tulpa of his sister. Just saying that sounds really bad but to everyone i've shown it was great and the deeper ideas and stuff were like wooow bro now I see why your English teacher loves you. Anyway, the sister is based off of Wrennnn.

 

Wow. Just hit me how long its been since I last typed or said that name.

Wren.

Familiar name, happy name, cute name XD

 

That's my return.

If anyone actually noticed or liked my report, sorry for leaving >m< If the site's daily breakdowns stop for me i'll post a little more regularly c:

 

Also, regarding the nightmare thing, I couldn't get anything out of it, except for a fucking petrifying recurring night terror that lasted three days.

Fun.

[N1ghtSl4yer]

Dontcha hate saying you'll update your log before forgetting your password? DX<

 

Bleh. Hiya.

 

So we haven't done jack shit of important stuff, but I guess we've had a little bit of progress. The fact that I have no imposition or solid image is really kinda disheartening and it causes me to forget to force at times. It's a good thing that both Wren and Jarvis have learnt how to give me those weird fluttery thingies in your arms and legs (something to do with blood YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN).

 

Wren can also take over my thoughts briefly like a kid ripping down her dad's newspaper and shoving her face into it, and she can make my hands and fingers really tingly too.

Less forgetting than usual now.

 

She's come along greatly in the visual form department, and Jarvis is pretty much perfect looking and I can't seem to forget his form (jackpot xD ), plus his voice is set fast. Wren however, tends to forget her voice, and she ends up using my mind voice (which is incredibly confusing as I can't really differentiate thoughts well).

 

Jarvis thrives on little to no attention and is always there when Wren goes into 'let's release my entire spiritual pressure and try destroying the world' mode. (She gets bored. Such a positive way to expel energy.)

Recently I've decided to try and 'tame her' in this regard; as her energy is either a dripping tap or a world-eating vortex of death.

 

I hope this will help her to contact me more easily, as she had an outburst saying:

"Look, I don't know how. I don't know what it feels like to just reach in and control your thoughts intentionally. Sure I can sometimes do it, but I don't know which buttons I'm actually pressing. I don't know how to use my energy and shit to do anything either."

So imma homeschool this bish on sumtin I dont evn kno about.

Fun.

 

I tested her energies and stuff and it's all pent up, and sorta her blood tends to combust when I try to reach into a sample and look at how her energy is.

 

Wow.

Much explode.

Many power.

Such danger.

 

Anyway, life goes on.

 

If anyone has any [well written] tulpa stories, can you link me? >o< I love reading a good story and tulpa ones are just the best right now.

 

P.s.

She hates cookie dough because she thinks something that good will kill you, and she loves sunset.

Ok end now bye bye.

[N1ghtSl4yer]

I feel like what we're doing is... Wrong?

Everyone else is like sitting down and training to impose or gain those core skills like vocality and us lot are still like:

Yo waddup let's use superpowers and go on punk-ass awesome adventures.

 

Makes me feel like I'm doing something wrong, or like I've gotta mature about my attitude to this. I really have no idea.

 

Do I really have to sit down and practise in such a boring way?

 

We find it the most dull thing ever to sit for ages, and have me open my eyes every few minutes and tell myself I'll see Wren. I feel bad because I feel I can't pull her into my conscious vision, and she feels bad for not being able to appear to me.

 

Anything I can do to impose that isn't boring, that has yielded results for anybody?

 

I can't wait for full imposition, seriously. I end up dreaming about spending my days with my Tulpas xD being able to see them and talk to them properly while I'm not dead focused on them :D Y'know just like spending time with these guys I love to bits and really wanna see properly cx

 

Feedback is really appreciated and a PM if you don't wanna post a reply please xD

[N1ghtSl4yer]

I have so many exams right now like solid for two weeks and it's just killing my brain to death. Twice.

I'm so tired I just want to go to sleep as soon as I get home, but I can't because I have too much revision and homework to catch up with @.@ thus I haven't enough time to get a good sleep or anything over 30 minutes of passive and gappy forcing (if I want to sleep before like 1am)

 

Not sure what to do really.

I can see there are plenty of views here, but I'm not getting any help.

Has nobody got any advice? Honestly?

Because if imposition is that hard to achieve, maybe I'm setting my goals too high?

 

I've only ever had two audio hallucinations before, and both were about 1-2 seconds long. I could tell that they were both Wren's voice, but no particular words. They were both the kind of noise Link from the Zelda games would make. I've never had an actual visual hallucination of either of my Tulpas, except the occasional behind-the-eyes kinda coloured flashes (phosphenes I think).

 

I also find it kind of weird how Jarvis is literally the same stage as Wren (albeit a slightly less deep personality) when I barely ever force him one on one.

They ended up fighting yesterday and it was weird, seeing them directly interact. I'm not sure how to describe what I felt. I seemed to zone out of my zoned out forcing state and go "Wow", because they're both two separate products of my mind interacting and stuff. It was pretty amazing to watch, even though it was just a little punch up.

Such inception.

 

I try to talk to them separately and then together to help develop both of them, and in return it'll sort of clear my head up - but after that I'm excited and happy and they're still strong in my mind. It really makes buckling down to study hard, despite it keeping my sanity intact.

It also seems to improve Wren's temperament, which really ends up showing me how much she loves me back. It's an amazing feeling.

Also Jarvis got rid of his robotic eye because it burned him on hot days and hurt a lot on cold ones.

(For people who never read before this, he's a red panda with a robot eye piloting a suit of knight's armour. Hehuehehahueheue.)

Their forms are still subtly changing though. Jarvis is a head taller than me and Wren is about my height now.

 

I like to imagine presences near me as them in the day. Sometimes I'll imagine then standing next to me, using somebody else's presence, and then perhaps talking in my mind voice while I blindly agree to whatever the guy in front of me is saying. I've always had the idea that when I get audio hallucinations I'll end up talking out loud to them and I'll embarrass myself. Sorta makes me feel funny-happy-butterflies, that one.

 

Wish me luck for these killer exams DX

Any advice or feedback is appreciated.

[N1ghtSl4yer]

I'm in exams now.

Not as bad as I suspected, but it's still kinda hellish :c

 

My forcing is usually between 5pm and 12pm, and I'm trying now to make it more passive. I'm doing this because my friend (Who's Tulpas (I use my own plurals) are always with her all the time) basically always did this and as such they have really good parallel processing and they're always there.

I'd love my Tulpas to be with me during the day. It's annoying though because if I don't actively ignore what I'm doing and focus on them I forget them entirely and they can't control my thoughts or talk to me.

 

I've had success with asking them to do small things, but I'm doubting wether it's them or just my body.

 

Examples:

I can ask Wren to inhabit and try controlling my hands. Whichever finger she tries to possess gets warm, and it's sensitivity increases sevenfold. Sorta feels like the blood pressure in it or something increases I don't know.

This morning I was practicing my music performance that I'm not doing too well on. I got frustrated, and shouted (mindvoice) to just clear my mind of everything I was thinking off so I could work it through at least once. My mind went blank and whenever I thought about something it was almost snatched away before the idea could develop.

Not sure if any of this is down to them or just my body.

 

My wonderland seems to have migrated to a new spawnpoint, if you'd like.

Due south of our house, directly to the right and about 40m ahead is a wood. There's one twice the distance on the left side too.

In the right wood, there's a clearing about 10m in diameter that I always seem to wake up in when I active force. Some days it's a boring forest, and sometimes it's just plain no detail at all, but some days when I focus it's a really amazing pine forest. Whenever I enter the wonderland, I wake up in the clearing, 2m off the centre in a south east direction, with my feet facing north. Wren is always on all fours looking at my face from my right, and Jarvis is always on the left doing the same.

It's weird, because whenever I go to the house, it doesn't feel.. Homely anymore. It's sorta cold and it feels overly spacious.

This leads me to a weird little thing I've started doing to help me force in detail. These sessions aim for detail, keeping first person and my self awareness, and sustained contact.

 

It's literally the same as I usually start, except I imagine the part of the wonderland I'm spawning in. Then I spend about 3 minutes visualising it in super detail.

After this, I try and see it beyond my eyelids.

So like, trying to see it as if you're actually there, but you have your eyes closed. I'll start with the visuals, then the temperature and stuff. Then as somebody in my wonderland moves or my view moves, I try my best to move my real-ife head and eyes to keep to it. It helps me anchor myself if you'd like.

At the same time, I don't drift off to sleep -w-

 

So yeah tyvm for not reporting me for being sucky and slow to develop, y'know.

Advice and comments are appreciated.

 

P.s. I'm really scared of what people think of me like am I interesting or annoying or too expectant or whit

[N1ghtSl4yer]

Well shit.

I think I just got some possession?

I really have no idea if it was or not.

 

Ok basically I was playing Bloons td5, then I decided I'd quit and go to bed early (at like 11) and force. I began to talk to Wren, then I jumped up off my bed for no apparent reason (to put my Ipad on my desk) and I got that feeling when you go kinda weak, your vision is coloured, and you get tingles and sorta feel zoned out. From there, my arm just felt kinda off. It wanted to move up, but it didn't. If I lifted it a tiny bit, it would keep going up more and it was weird and effortless (sorta drifted or summin), and if I relaxed it wouldn't relax all the way. I felt the same usual weird feeling in my hand when Wren tries to take control, except it was more in the butt of my palm and my inner elbow.

 

I asked her really quick after it if it was her and all she said was "I tried."

I'm confused about it here because this isn't even what we were working for.

 

Other than that, all us three have really done includes a few fuckabout adventures and some messing about in our house, I guess. I like to add in random characters and people to interact with because I can, and our convos are kinda more casual actual conversations now, rather than rigid or weird training to actually talk properly. I've also developed a tendency to to drift off in exams to talk to them too.

 

Me "Dude, why would [blah blah red shift stars bullshit]?"

Wren "Ahem this is your own knowledge you cheating shit"

Me "Excuse me but you're technically a part of me and it's not like I'm gonna be without you at any point. So, could you please assist just this once?"

Wren "Sorry, but I have no way of knowing ;3 so have fun with that"

Me "You're such a butt sometimes y'know that right"

Wren "You love butts"

Me "I'm more of a boobs guy"

Jarvis "You've only got a minute left"

Me (Out loud) Fuck.

 

So yeah I almost got done for talking because they made me say fuck out loud xD

Conversing with them is so satisfying, even if one's being a slight ass :3

 

I stayed up to do this and write stories @.@ so much for more sleep.

Feedback and messages are appreciated.