To this day, with my Tulpa; Forcer's Block

[C0ff3Pl3453]

if you saw 'Jarvis' there before, without thinking about it, couldn't you just force normally with Wren and ask her if she wants him as a pet/friend

like

rather than foring a second tulpa, imagine the two together?

So they become one thing

Like for exampleee in death note Ryuk is usually with Light, when you think of one of them eg Light (because unf ;-;) you automatically think of Ryuk

no?

or am i just going insane

'nother example is Ryuk and his apples

(is in obsessive death note mood)

js you and Wren could also work on him together

okok

[N1ghtSl4yer]

I for one, as you may have picked up, can't passive force for crap because I devote my whole attention to one matter or the other. I guess it's how I like to analyse and figure out everything I see.

That aside, I've found a way past it, which is also very enjoyable for me;

 

Most people say to draw something on your hand to remind you whenever you see it, or to make up a phrase to remind you, or use Ned's leash as a reminder, but none of that worked at all for me.

What I now do is listen to music all day - I put my headphone in my left ear and have the wire going over my ear and down my back, round my right side and in to my left pocket. The other phone is down the other side of my neck at the front so the first doesn't fall off of my other shoulder. This keeps the wire tense so the headphone doesn't slip and become visible to teachers and whatnot.

By listening to music, I always seem to imagine my Tulpa smashing along in our glass conservatory area on the drums - because she plays them.

This means that I constantly have a reminder that I'll be actively acknowledging all the time, so she'll never leave my conscious thoughts.

 

I guess everyone has a different way, but doing this means I'll be visualising her on drums - so I can't exactly narrate. I'll need to turn the music off every now and again to get a chat in.

Better than nothing - hoping for more vocality and processing soon.

 

Regarding forcing, nothing new tbh, except I'm leaving my Panda tulpa idea in the back seat for now.

[Zer0.iNSaNiTY]

Alright, I'll imagine you as a dude now. You have a moustache like the pringles guy.

[N1ghtSl4yer]

Using headphones has worked, but it's still hard - especially when teachers take them off of you.

I missed forcing last night because I honestly couldn't do anything. My eyes were burning and watering and my nose was blocked us as hell and I kept sneezing and coughing.

I decided to do what I could in school. When I 'spawned', I saw her sitting on a tree stump outside our house, it was really sunny and there were lots of flowers.

She turnt upside down and she looked sorta zoned out and indiffierent. She just said "I'm supposed to be sorta angry at you for just leaving and stuff, so I'm gonna ignore you now.", before the stump grew about 5m tall and she just laid on the top on a sun lounger.

I sat down by it, and then I made a split all the way up it. Then I made a little dumb waiter (small lift used to transport things up and down floors in a big house.) and lifted up a plate with some cake and lemonade.

She didn't say anything or send it down again, so I just sat picking the grass and daisies that suddenly appeared today because in the dream state they can't literally kill me.

I'm going to go back later, but as of now I'm starving. I could probably use forcing to get myself into an actual eating routine of three meals a day - would help because my parents AND my Tulpa are moaning for me to do that.

[Zer0.iNSaNiTY]

I could probably use forcing to get myself into an actual eating routine of three meals a day - would help because my parents AND my Tulpa are moaning for me to do that.

 

I'm kinda glad I'm not the only one with a tulpa who wants me to eat differently XD Honestly screw the three meals a day thing, I just eat when I'm hungry =w=

 

Anywaysss... I dunno o^o I'm just bored. Wren seems to be doing well though ^^ Tell her I say hi~

[N1ghtSl4yer]

I've got a question that makes me feel a little merhhh to ask... .-.

How... close, are you with your Tulpas? What do you do with them?

I mean like, I know some people don't hug, some people even go as far to have sex with them, but what's sort of natural - like how close do most people get?

Me and my Tulpa hug lots, and sometimes we kiss, and sometimes (especially when i'm really sad and overall feeling shit) we get really close and she got even more caring and supportive and we make out (i feel bad saying that, idk why). I think the way in which I can feel her helps - as when we're that close I can feel the heat of her body, her skin, her hair, and I guess that doing that and talking personally with her helps me when I feel really bad - it makes me feel incredibly happy when we have a heart to heart and then do something like that, and it makes visualizing and giving her a feel and a smell easier... But is all of this... ok?

[Zer0.iNSaNiTY]

Dude, that's totally okay. I think some people date their tulpas even. Honestly it's pretty normal. They stem from your head, so they're gonna be something you really like personality (and form) wise. Of course if you're planning to get married and have children and stuff, it may pose a few problems, but hey, YOLO //shot/

 

For me, Muse acts almost motherly sometimes, but she's definitely like my best friend. Forseen... it's hard to describe XD I don't even wanna try. I love them both very much though >w<

[N1ghtSl4yer]

I don't intend to take it any further than this .-. And I hope that when I do get in a serious relationship, it doesn't affect Wren in any way, making her sad or something :c

Gonna force then sleep - see if I can get her to come back down...

[Zer0.iNSaNiTY]

It depends on if the tulpa is the jealous type or not XD I'm sure Wren will support you though ^^ lol a girlfriend may be a different matter. "Oh yeah hey btw, I have a girl who lives inside my head that I talk to" "WHAT." XD Of course, you could also choose to keep Wren secret forever, but bleh. I honestly don't like thinking ahead, so yeah, whatever.

 

Have a productive forcing session, and good night! ^^

[N1ghtSl4yer]

I had a little trouble making a link tonight, so I tried meditating.

Damn, I'm more flexible than I though o.o I went straight to the full lotus position and spent 10 minutes or so on breathing, before unwinding, laying down, and going in.

It started off okay - it was night time, and Wren was standing behind me (I didn't know this) and she pushed me. I was like WTF, so I turned round, and she tightly hugged me and sorta sent me brainwaves or whatever saying sorry for leaving. She knew I'd forgiven her already though. It was an amazing hug.

 

Then I put in some upbeat rock/punk music, and we played along outside, went fine. We changed into our smart clothes afterwards and then sat in the field looking st the sky again. I explained the whole how the Aurora works in reality to her - she understand a lot more than most people I know, because she's part of my (totally evil genius) mind.

 

Then the DEVILJHO came.

( http://images1.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20111201100051/monsterhunter/images/6/6c/MH3G-Hungry_Deviljho.png )

We got our our swords but it was just tearing us up.

I got really angry because I couldn't get rid of them, so I transformed into this; http://images.wikia.com/monsterhunter/images/0/0e/MH3G-Jinouga_Subspecies_Trailer_Screenie_2.png , except 5m tall.

(Search Stygian Zingore on google or YouTube or whatever)

 

Luckily she was on my back at this point, because a lot of the ground was thrown up and pretty much everything was decimated.

Sure as hell, it died. In many pieces. I was so angry, I didn't really know why. And I just felt, I don't even know, I think it was bloodlust. It was really weird but at the same time I had trouble thinking. I shrunk down again and just hunkered over on my hands and knees, shaking on the ground. I wanted to kill more, and I wanted to run.

Wren was sort of, I don't even know. Torn between that was the pinnacle of awesomeness, holy shit is he okay he's been cut really deep all over, and what the fuck just happened.

 

Guess meditation isn't my thing.

Awesome though.

 

 

I look at my report and see it has about 686 views.

That's 684 complete strangers from different places in the world.

Looking at what is more precious and dear to me than my freaking life.

I've told two friends I actually know about this.

 

The thought is kind of... Odd, and unnerving, to say the least, when you consider that 684 people is more people than in years 7 through 10 in my school. Strange how that works now that I think about it.

 

Anyway, I appreciate the views and help, guys. I really wouldn't be where I am today with you wonderful, helpful, amazing people.