Questions and Concerns regarding forcing

[Dramolin]

Hey, guys. This is my first time posting here and I've got a few questions regarding tulpaforcing. I've read through all of Kiahdaj's guide- certain sections multiple times- as well as lurked through several threads and read multiple FAQs regarding the process. After weeks of deliberation, I decided to try and make a tulpa. I believe I'm on day five, now, and I've been running into a few snags. I'll just jump right into it:

 

First, I still don't know exactly what to do when I'm actively/passively forcing. So far I've narrated several times to my tulpa about their personality. I've a list of traits nailed down and even by the second narration session I pretty much knew them all by heart. While narrating I keep trying to imagine a vague form of my tulpa; at first, I was aiming for something simple as had been suggested in guides and in threads and attempted to focus on a ball of light. Within less than a minute, it specifically became a ball of burning white fire. While talking to my tulpa, the image I was using to represent them kept rotating and wavering, like fire tends to and within moments the fire would go out, leaving a dark, metallic orb rotating in a black space. Every time. This kept distracting me, making me wonder as to what that would mean or otherwise likely read too much into it. After the first couple of forcing sessions, I decided that a vague human form would be better than something like that which I couldn't seem to really control.

 

Despite my initial confusing image problem, I still don't know if what I'm doing is actually considered forcing. I'm focusing my thoughts on the person my tulpa is- their personality, their form and I'm even trying to focus in on a particular “aura” that I feel represents her. I go in between talking to her in mindvoice, talking to her out loud (although that's seldom as I hate to hear myself talk) and just trying to send thoughts in her direction, mostly concerning her. I just don't know if I'm going about it the right way. From reading what a lot of people have to say about forcing and creating a tulpa, I know it has a lot to do with what I'm most comfortable with and my mindset while doing it. Despite that, I can't help but think that there shouldn't be a common theme, or idea, pertaining to what I need to do in order to help my tulpa grow. Is this what I should be doing? Is simply thinking about the character, the person, my tulpa is and thinking how they are considered “tulpaforcing”? I also like to add that I do try and hold conversations with them as well, while trying to focus on who they are.

 

Another question- and I promise that this one is small- is whether or not the feeling in my head is actually from my tulpa, or from the act of focusing my thoughts on one point. Since the end of my first session talking, narrating and focusing on my tulpa, I feel this ache, or pressure, on the front-right quarter of my skull. It's not exactly what I'd call a headache, but it's certainly not comfortable and even makes it a little hard to concentrate at times. Actually, that sense of pressure is beginning to rise right now as I'm writing this, but I'm not exactly trying to focus on my tulpa- but images of her keep coming up.

 

I actually have more questions to ask, but I realize that I've already written a ridiculous amount as it is and I'm asking a lot of anyone to actually read this, let alone respond to this.

 

Thank you very much in advance...

[Spartanelete]

I'm not too good at tulpamancing terms, but I can say that the headaches are quite common when you're not used to forcing. I'm not saying that that is absolutely the cause, there could be other factors, but forcing or any deep focus like that can cause a slight or higher headaches.

 

I'm still kinda new to tulpamancing, but it's been a while since I had to go through the early development stages of a tulpa. lol

[Linkzelda]

@Dramolin,

I'm going to be honest with you.

You just started with this tulpaforcing thing, you read a few guides, got yourself used to common concepts, but you're just going through that phase we initially went through where we felt we had to follow guides to absolute law. Whatever guide you read, whether it's a guide that talks about why you shouldn't make a tulpa, or a visualization guide, whatever the case may be, you have to realize that even after a few of your presumed extensive weeks of training, these things need to be carried on a lot longer.

 

The reason is, you're going through a confusion of thinking you need to memorize everything consciously to heart, and that's not really anything you should be focused on. A lot of guides talk about symbolism, and telling your tulpa to not access your memories and all that non-sequitur bullshit with fostering the idea of privacy, independence, and all sorts of things. Whether you like it or not, your tulpa are part of your mind, and giving symbolism by asking them to not "access the confines of your unconscious mind" is seriously sending people back to square on on basic logic with how the conscious and unconscious mind is conceptualized.

 

With anything you want to work on in my opinion, you'll have to work towards your tulpa's existence, and treat them as sentient, and it's for a good reason why you want to do that. For the unconscious mind (note this is just a concept) to actually become an influential factor in anything you do, you do have to acknowledge the thought-form's existence. But you're also supposed to have some confidence that you don't need to memorize your tulpa's personality, character, form, your unconscious mind is going to take care of all that. What you should do is consider just thinking more about seeing your tulpa in your head.

 

When you're overwhelmed and you're trying to get used to all aspects (vocalization, narration, visualization, imposition (auditory and visual), etc.) you can't expect this aspects of the tulpa phenomenon to just come to you just like that. Even after weeks of training, you still have to make a daily effort into this, because even if you get signs of them saying a word or two to you, or even a sentence, you can't marvel too much on that being a pinnacle of your progress. It's an on-going thing, and all guides can really show you is help you memorize techniques and methods.

 

The secret with doing anything well into this is actually making:

 

1. Some effort in actually DOING things consistently, finding ways to be flexible in case you have things like a work, family, etc. to take care of.

 

2. You have to see guides as supplements to your own progress, and if you see any guide with the type of mindset you need to have, just know it's not something set-in-stone. It's subjective, it's meant to be an on-going learning process.

 

3. Write some of your goals down that you want to achieve, we all tend to forget where to go, and sometimes we just need reminders for ourselves to endure through this phenomenon.

 

4. Allow some level of comparing your progress to others, but don't take it to absolute standards, because we all tend to contrast ourselves to others, and we may find ourselves restricting our own confidence doing this But it's just more motivation for us to keep going when you see the only thing you really need to improve on as much as you can is yourself and your experience with tulpa(e), not just other people.

 

5. Learn how to have more gratitude in the whole process, because if you end up being that "guy" who just wants all the pinnacles of tulpaforcing as fast as they can, but never actually applying it to make some betterment in their lives and their tulpa, you're just going to waste your time honestly.

 

There are so many concepts I can throw at you and suggest you should consider, and I'll repeat this simile I've mentioned quite a few times already in other threads. Don't expect results to come in like an Atom Bomb, but at the same time, pay attention to any slips of thoughts that may relate to your tulpa, and the only way to do that is just finding it out for yourself. No one can spoon feed on setting levels and gauges on your progress, it's a personal experience.

 

This is the type of experiential learning you have to develop by yourself obviously, and personally, sticking to one guide and skimming the rest is common for anyone to do here, which makes them still form questions that aren't really that unique and different from what's been stated before.

 

But in short,

 

Acknowledge their existence, treat them as sentient and sapient, but also take your time and work things in small steps. Let the smaller things stack onto bigger things, and don't forget to actually live your life in the process as well. Look at the guides a bit more, try to find the underlying meanings behind the symbolism, and find some way to see it applied differently.

 

It's important that you find ways where you can see the concepts applied in as many directions and probabilities as you can, and you'll quickly find out you can't do that all consciously, you have to find way start developing rapport with other aspects of your mind, find ways to channel more attention to those aspects, and keep making consistent efforts to DO things and experiment. No matter how intelligent, proficient, calculated, or experienced a person is into this, there's always something we can improve on.

 

You have to be able to not only foresee yourself being able to do this, but actually reaching that path one step at a time.

[Dramolin]

@Spartanelete

Yeah, that's pretty much what I thought. It's sad, but I'm kind of using it as a railing to hold on to, so to speak, when I'm forcing as it helps me feel like I'm on the right track.

 

@Linkzelda

Firstly, thanks a lot for the well thought out reply. I appreciate all the pointers you're giving me and it helps knowing that I've been reiterating to myself a lot of what you just told me- to me, that's a sign that I'm heading in the right direction. Still, I don't think I explained my angle very well when I originally asked if I was going about this the right way...

 

I'm sure you understand that, when doing this, especially for the first time, it feels as though you're trying to guide yourself through a dark forest. You can't exactly see where you're going, but you know the general direction of where you want to go. I have no illusions of getting results quickly in this endeavor and I understand that this will take a good deal of time, dedication and repitition to even see signs of true progress. The problem I have, I guess, stems from some innate fear I have that what I'm doing isn't productive and that I'm heading in the wrong direction. Now, I'm damn sure that this is not something that's unique to me when it comes to creating a tulpa, but I feel that if I can get my hands on some solid railings, something to follow so I know I'm heading in the right direction, it would do a lot for me in the long run. I'm not looking for answers to fall into my lap here, but as long as I can know I'm not going to suffer from a "moon-shot" miscalculation in any way I think I can actually start getting somewhere, whether it takes weeks or months.

 

One of the more worrisome aspects of tulpaforcing/creation for me is the fact that my mind is very, very proficient at playing tricks with me. On top of that, I have a tendency to automatically parrot anything I'm imagining and I've read in other threads that too much of this could be potentially bad. Especially when I'm trying to imagine something. Even if/when I hear something talk to me, I know I'll be very, very wary of how easy it is to trick yourself like this.

 

You see, right now I know is the part where you actually spend most of your time figuring out how you're going to go about doing this, instead of actually doing it. I'm forcing daily, but I'm trying different things every time. I wonder if the consistency you're mentioning applies to this as well. Today I'm spending most of my free time passively forcing, as opposed to active forcing, because I know damn well I'm a hell of a lot better at concentrating on something (images, ideas, stories, ect) when my eyes are open and I'm moving around, as opposed to sitting somewhere with my eyes shut. It seems no matter how hard I try, I can not control the seemingly endless string of unrelated images and distortions that take place as soon as I shut my eyes. Sitting down, clearing my mind and then actively forcing feels like trying to grab a slippery fish in a barrel; the harder you try and squeeze to get a better grip on the fish, the faster it slips from your grasp.

 

I understand that there's several ways to skin this cat; there's many means to the same end when it comes to tulpa creation. I'm not looking for tricks or shortcuts. I just want to know that what I'm doing is the right thing.

 

tl;dr- I believe my main problem is that I'm far too unsure that what I'm doing is right. As long as I know that what I'm doing is actually forcing/narrating, and helping define my tulpa and encouraging it's growth, I'm pretty damn sure I can do this.

 

Uncertainty is probably my worst enemy, in life in general.

 

Again, thank you!

[Linkzelda]

If narration is something you want to become better at, you can check my guide on it below my signature. I may not be the most proficient tulpamancer, but I am doing things that associate with things that applies to anyone that has a desire to do something and improve their mind in general.

 

And I'm glad that you're giving more thought into this, and you want to make sure you have the necessary options to take and paths to ensure that you succeed into this, and that's definitely something everyone has the right to find. Personally, and this isn't really me trying to glorify my guide, but if you need help on where to start, feel free to PM me.

 

Visualizing my tulpa with my eyes open is ironically giving me more proficient results than closing my eyes, but of course, we all can improve in both states of vision with practice. The moment I practiced these exercises derived from image streaming and other sources of inspiration to make the guide, it only augmented my confidence to see how the mind is going to make the connections needed to make my tulpa real to me.

 

Before, I had a decent level of confidence and attempting to sustain some mental endurance and not being a defeatist into this, but now without a doubt, I just need to keep applying myself and manage my own lifestyle in the mean time while finding ways to have my tulpa engage in a lifestyle of their own.

 

If you want some path to consider and experiment, which I'm sure will give you results, at least in the visualization aspect, there's a section called "Overview & Explanation of Methods & How They Are Useful" in the google docs link in the thread that you can try out.

 

It's pretty straight-forward and if you try it for 10 minutes, you may notice how your concern over parroting everything in advance is just mild worrying that will eventually go away. If you have any questions, be sure to PM me and/or use the thread in my signature for narration/storytelling for questions and any sessions you may do yourself. Part of this tulpa experience is being able to share attempts with others so that we can see how much a person can produce results.

 

I'm no Dr. Phil or Oprah, but I will do my best to help you out, and other members can help as well.

[CreativeMind]

Oh that's easy:

 

If your mind takes you there, it's probably right. If you believe it is right, it is right. There is no right or wrong way, persay, everyone experiences this differently. Don't doubt yourself, that will hinder you and you'll convince yourself you're doing it wrong. Just go with the flow, take advice as needed, develop your methods, and believe in yourself. Really, I feel that's all there is to it, I'm still learning too. Remember though, that all of this is in your head (quite literally), so if you can think it, you can do it.

[Zer0.iNSaNiTY]

I'm sure you understand that, when doing this, especially for the first time, it feels as though you're trying to guide yourself through a dark forest. You can't exactly see where you're going, but you know the general direction of where you want to go. I have no illusions of getting results quickly in this endeavor and I understand that this will take a good deal of time, dedication and repitition to even see signs of true progress. The problem I have, I guess, stems from some innate fear I have that what I'm doing isn't productive and that I'm heading in the wrong direction. Now, I'm damn sure that this is not something that's unique to me when it comes to creating a tulpa, but I feel that if I can get my hands on some solid railings, something to follow so I know I'm heading in the right direction, it would do a lot for me in the long run. I'm not looking for answers to fall into my lap here, but as long as I can know I'm not going to suffer from a "moon-shot" miscalculation in any way I think I can actually start getting somewhere, whether it takes weeks or months.

 

I'm gonna take your metaphor and twist it, k?

 

You say how when you start tulpaforcing it's like navigating a dark forest. You know where you wanna go, but you don't know which way to go, so you want a guide. So you've got some maps, but they tell you to go different ways. You make the best of it and try one thing after the other, but you're always scared you're going the wrong way.

 

That's about right, no? Well then think of it this way; as long as you keep moving, you /will/ eventually find your way. You may get sidetracked, go the wrong way sometimes, but if you keep moving, you will eventually end up where you wanna be. No matter what. Just keep on moving and you'll get there. It just may take longer than expected.

 

Tulpaforcing's like that. You know where you are, you know you wanna make a tulpa, but you've got so many conflicting guides you don't know what to do. So you try them out, make up some of your own stuff, try that. Sure you may end up going the wrong way or you might get stuck, but as long as you keep moving and keep forcing, you'll end up with a perfectly sentience tulpa.

[Dramolin]

Sorry it's been a couple days since I responded to this. I appreciate everyone's responses and every time I found myself about to go on here and reply, I decided to instead use that time to force with my tulpa.

 

@Linkzelda

It's funny, because just after I replied to you the last time, I noticed your guide in your signature and started reading through that off and on throughout the day. There's a lot of interesting exercises on there and watching the video you linked helped me understand exactly what you were talking about when it came to the music-streaming narration. I guess I have a tendency sometimes to over-think what I'm reading on these forums when it comes to knowing what to do, as it tends to be as simple and straight forward as it sounds. One thing I'm wondering about a number of those exercises, however, is if they'll actually work for someone in such early stages. For instance, with what you were doing with Eva, she was answering you and you were understanding here- and you could also see her. What if I'm not able to do that with mine, yet? I know in the beginning of your guide you state that it's for both those who are starting and those who are well into all of this, but... I probably ask too many questions, really. I guess, considering the early stage I believe my tulpa is in now, I'm afraid to confuse her and potentially stunt her growth. That's also one of the reasons I find myself nervous to start any passive/active forcing without having a solid game plan on what I'm going to do.

 

@CreativeMind

Yeah, I agree. From what I've read over and over again, a lot of this hinges on your mindset. This whole ordeal is really going against the grain of my own personal philosophy; I've learned a long time ago to always second-guess myself, no matter what. I know no one's always right and there's always a chance I'm either wrong, or making a mistake. I need to learn to let go of that in this case...

 

@Zer0.iNSaNiTY

That's a pretty laid back way of looking at it. I really shouldn't fret so much about doing something wrong, because people learn with mistakes. I guess I'm just so used to be able to know exactly when I'm doing something wrong if I do. Only time will tell, but I think I'm getting a better hang of this anyways.

 

 

 

So yeah, the past couple of days I've been mixing passive and active forcing a lot more. I certainly feel like I'm connecting with her, so that's a good sign. And, some interesting things happened yesterday during a couple hours of passive/active forcing. I know this isn't a blogspot, but for the sake of knowing I'll post it real quick in this thread:

 

During a conversation I was having with her- I can't remember what, exactly- my mind sidetracked to the new season of Breaking Bad. Not sure if anyone here watches it, but it's a great show. Anyways, I was thinking about a certain scene for no reason in particular, one that happened last season and I had already seen it a couple of times. During that time, which was only a few seconds, a thought that felt relatively alien popped in my mind, as if from some random direction. Random thoughts pop up in our heads all of the time, but the reason why this one felt alien is because it just wouldn't be something I'd think after having watched this show for a couple years:

 

"So much backstabbing..."

 

The tone itself felt different from mine as well- it was as if appalled, or shocked. It certainly detested how things went down in that scene. I won't go into exact detail, but interestingly enough the personality my tulpa has includes a preference for dealing with problems head on and generally disregards tact. On top of that, she's an bit of an idealist, a little stubborn and she's partial to concepts concerning what's more "honorable". So, the shoe pretty much seems to fit... and my question is, is it really possible after one week? Honestly, I know it isn't much, but it's not normal, either. Also, just even thinking about my tulpa now often generates pressure on the right side of my head. And, lately just below my right eye, on my cheekbone.

 

On another note, yesterday evening something happened when I was falling asleep taking a short nap. I don't know much about lucid dreaming, and it's likely that this isn't it, but I didn't exactly sleep. You know how when you're falling asleep you seem to go through a series of "layers" into unconsciousness? I somehow found the will to stop myself most of the way down those layers, just before I completely fell asleep. I wasn't able to move, but I was able to direct seemingly unconscious images in my head and so I decided to take another stab at visualizing my tulpa. Her vague form quickly came into view and was much more vibrant and detailed than usual, although her face was still hard to make out. She was standing just behind me when something from my unconscious decided that it wanted to give her a history for some reason- probably having to do with the fact that I like writing stories and thus generating characters. But, just as an image of, I guess, her "adolescent form" from "when she was what" appeared in front of me, without warming my tulpa pushed me aside and kind of... swiped the new image away. She looked to me, backed up a step and spread her arms out in gesture for me to look at her. I couldn't hear her talk, but I felt some kind of impression, describing something between "this isn't me" and "this is all I have been", however I really can't find the exact words to describe what it felt like she was saying. And then I felt "Try again"...

 

After an indiscernable amount of time of me shuffling through random images in my mind and trying to mold a more specific image of my tulpa, I guess I had become a little agitated and decided to wake up.

 

So, yeah- is this how people usually experience these things at first? Sorry, I've probably been a little too wordy trying to describe this, but I'm trying to give an accurate description of what's happening. In either case, I feel like I'm going in the right direction...

 

So thanks, guys.

 

Edit: all of this tl;dr...

[Linkzelda]

Here's the thing, if the actual narration session will make you worry on whether or not they'll answer, you can attempt the other exercises before it that helps with you being able to imagine things and your tulpa(e). The exercises are derived from image streaming, and they're only a few steps longer than the original method made by Win Wenger (which was where the person closed their eyes and simply described what they saw, and they would record it with a tape recorder of something like that).

 

The thing with the techniques is that anyone can do it, it doesn't matter if you haven't had a sentient tulpa as yet, these derived methods from the Image streaming is for training yourself to become more receptive to thoughts, images, clips, etc. that are brought up by the unconscious mind. Image streaming was not made for tulpaforcing, and Win Wenger certainly didn't know about the concept of tulpa obviously (and if he did, boy would he useful in this forum).

 

It sounds so simple, but you're not supposed to make this endeavor that overly complicated when it comes to training the mind. When you actually do the exercise, you'll see you can't really consciously plan everything in advance from A to B that easily. If you want a game plan, it's fairly easy to come up with a schedule you can do. For me, I aim for at least 1 hour a day of doing this (whether doing 6 10 minute sessions, 60 1 minute sessions, or whatever time ranges to fit within at least 1 hour), that's more than enough training for forcing. I usually take a break for a day and do passive forcing, and because of what I trained on before, I can tulpaforce in the conventional ways. That's why I go back and forth with those exercises I made and doing natural forcing, and not only that, I can go to any other guides on the Guide section, look at the instructions, and can easily force because the imagination and creativity comes by just like that.

 

Any human being with a brain and a means to DO something can do it, all it takes is to Do, a two-letter word, and keeping at it. If you want personal advice on a game plan you want to do that can fit your daily life, you can send me a PM or post on the thread to the guide. I've noticed most people just want a structural planning before they actually do something, and if that's what you need, don't hesitate to ask me. :)

 

I've only done one narration for the sake of an example, but when I did it, the more I eased myself into the situation, the more Eva made her own movements on her own and made laconic responses, since the aim was to get them engaged, but not worrying too much on their actual speech. It was supposed to get her to make her own movements in the narration while I guided her along the way. That was about 1-2 weeks ago before the actual guide was finished, and now she's making herself more apparent in my awareness because it's seriously easy imagining her, hearing her (mind voice), and such.

 

Of course, I'm not at the stage of visual imposition or the type of auditory imposition (auditory hallucination) like those experienced users are, but I'm not aiming to rush myself, I prefer expressing gratitude in her mind-voice and having more consistency in that before moving on to the pinnacle of auditory imposition, and the same goes for visual imposition.