I would like some kind of "evaluation" of my tulpa forcing

[garland]

Ok it's like this i started tulpaforcing about 1 month ago, and so far it seems my tulpa isn't sentient yet, also note that i HAVEN'T done hour counts (until yesterday) so this isn't the problem i already tried all the following tests so far :

 

-asked her douzens of times to say something to me (when i was with open eyes) or to send me a emotion... always nothing. I even tried the "surprise me!" trick, and still nothing. I mean, usually right after i make any question of this kind, my mind IMMEDIATLY tries to create a answer and i am kinda able to supress this, but after this i usually get silence but i get sometimes a few random toughts BUT it's always about the usual random toughts i use to have, there's absolutly nothing unsual or related to the question i make to the tulpa

 

-don't know if this is a efficient test, but i already asked my tulpa many times to appear to me in my dreams : never happened so far (usually i remember almost all my dreams)

 

-most of the times i narrate, never ever had unusual/sudden toughts or emotions

 

-everytime i tried to visualize my tulpa (even tough my visualisation skills are very poor) it never changed anything at all and it never moved by itself, believe me if something like this happened i would immediatly noticed that

 

Since i am suspecting i am doing something wrong, yesterday i compiled all forcing times i took notes, and in total i did around 45 hours of tulpa forcing so far, believe me before this i had no idea of how much hours i did in total so i don't think i was affected by the hour count expectations. Well, after all these hours and 1 month, isn't it strange i haven't got any sentience signals, specially since my tulpa forcing was a LOT more based on narration than actual visualization?

 

Well in the first week i actually got a few SPOKEN words in hypnagogic imagery, and they were related to the question i asked (and it was indeed similar to a "robotic" voice or typical of someone trying to learn to speak BUT it wasn't giberish, i never ever got giberish so far)but... then how is it possible that EVERYTIME i tried this in the following weeks i never got anything more similar to that? The only conclusion i can arrive is that it was just "random stuff" that my mind made at the moment, it wouldn't make much sense the tulpa saying a few words in the first days, and then becoming mute for so much time without a appearent reason.

 

Probably there IS after all a way of doing this wrong? I say this because the kind of tulpa forcing i do is like this, what i do more frequently is to narrate personality traits for around 40-45m each session 2 times a day (usually it's on a bus ride so i guess this could be considered active forcing since i am not thinking about anything else besides the things i am narrating), while sit with open eyes BUT without visualizing my tulpa i just adress her by her name (and yes i treat her the whole time as she was already sentient) but i am unable to actually narrate her and visualize her at the same time (i keep "switching" between each thing and this of course is absolutly not practical and just distracts me, altough i am able sometimes to visualize with open eyes how she will behave in the situations i narrate, that i usually do), not sure if this might be the biggest problem on this since i have read that some people here DO exactly visualize the tulpas in front of them when narrating, altough it's mostly NOW that i am having this worry, after all this time, before this i didn't worried too much about this. Oh i almost forgot, almost everyday i also spend 5-10 minutes watching videos from her form (which is based on a anime character, the one in my avatar) and memorizing the pictures and scenes and INTENSE narration, for example telling that i would like her to look like that, etc and even adding some personality traits based on the positions of the character on the video.

 

But tell me, isn't the narration the more important part about sentience? I mean, even tough i don't do much visualization in my minds eye, is it still possible to make a sentient tulpa without taking a LOT more time than usual? Also i am having a bit of trouble talking to my tulpa.

 

Also dispite all this, i am still confident enought to continue narration like i use to do, i mostly made this topic just to make sure if i should continue like this or not, it's not like i don't believe in tulpas anymore, i am still very motivated to do this, i just need to be sure this way of tulpa forcing COULD have some kind of changes to improve the tulpa sentience creation, because sometimes somethings aren't obvious to me...

 

(oh i almost forgot : unlike in some topics i seen similar to this, no, i haven't felt any sad feelings from my tulpa from writing these things about her... absolutly nothing at all)

[Shui]

It seems like you're doing fine to me. The only problem is that you're doubting her. Remember, she's still developing her personality and learning to communicate with you. That means a lot of the time she'll send an idea or emotion to you, and your mind will translate it in your own mind voice -- it will often feel exactly like something that you would say yourself. This is just because she hasn't had a chance to develop her own personality and her own voice.

 

I think when you're mind immediately creates an answer to your question, that's at least partly her. It might be best to treat it as her whether it is or not. Don't consciously think about creating answers, but treat things that come up naturally as her, or at least ask her if it's her.

 

Also, this isn't based on something I've read, but I'm starting to suspect that those little hypnagogic audio hallucinations are a tulpa trying to communicate. It seems like people usually start getting a lot of those when they first start forcing.

 

So I think you're doing well and she's definitely on the way to being vocal.

[bladewind]

usually right after i make any question of this kind, my mind IMMEDIATLY tries to create a answer and i am kinda able to supress this, but after this i usually get silence

now this is just a comment from someone whos very new to tulpae so take it for what its worth, but i would say this is a good sign. to me it says that your mind has accepted the existance of your tulpa and decided to let it respond on its own. so yes i would say keep on trying. but of course i dont have much knowledge on the subject so it may be best to take my opinion with a grain of salt.

[Nobillis]

Kevin says: Some people take longer then others. My first tulpa took 9 years for her first reaction, and my most recent tulpa took only three days before she smiled. So, results vary (ridiculously).

[garland]

Wow thanks for all the advises :)

 

It seems like you're doing fine to me. The only problem is that you're doubting her.

Well, after i got those words at the beginning (those "semi-vocal" words in the hypnagogic imagery) and then for douzens of times i tried the same way in the hypnagogic imagery state and never got more results in weeks of course i start to worry and doubt... Anyway i think i will stop using hypnagogic imagery for this, i want to learn to hear my tulpa with OPEN eyes so it's better keep training like this because the hypnagogic imagery state lately is so hard to control, i keep losing control of it and losing conscieness (like falling asleep) and this is very very distracting since i am not able to focus on the tulpa anymore when that happens, and i don't want to rely on this state to be able to communicate, i want as soon as possible to be able to communicate with her with OPEN eyes and with auditory hallucination later.

 

Remember, she's still developing her personality and learning to communicate with you. That means a lot of the time she'll send an idea or emotion to you, and your mind will translate it in your own mind voice -- it will often feel exactly like something that you would say yourself. This is just because she hasn't had a chance to develop her own personality and her own voice.

 

Yes but tell me do you have idea of what exactly should i do to make my mind translate it in a different mind voice? I am starting to consider using parroting while remembering quotes from the anime show in the voice i want, it's the only thing that cames to my mind, altough i will be parroting even those toughts that might not be from her, i am hoping this also helps her develop.

 

Also even if i am just asking her to say things and then while i wait for the answer i analise my thoughts trying to see if they seem different or not, will still she able to develop her own personality and voice by herself even if i do this always the same way on a daily basis? I ask this because besides narration and parroting i don't know what else to do to make sure i am not doing all this work for nothing.

 

Also, this isn't based on something I've read, but I'm starting to suspect that those little hypnagogic audio hallucinations are a tulpa trying to communicate. It seems like people usually start getting a lot of those when they first start forcing.

 

Yeah but how can i make my mind not block out these things when having eyes open? The hypnagogic state is kinda hard to control now lately (it's as chaotic as dreams) and it's very frustrating i don't want to use it anymore and besides it would be a lot more practical to hear these words while having open eyes so i am now practicing with open eyes, maybe it's best i start parroting because i don't see any other way to make her have a different mind voice other than visualizing hear the voice i want her to have.

 

Nevertheless, i now decided, starting today i will starting to parrot all the toughts i get after i ask her to say something and at the same time i think this will be practising auditory hallucinations at the same time i hope :D (note i will still avoid to make up any answers at all)

[Shui]

Yes but tell me do you have idea of what exactly should i do to make my mind translate it in a different mind voice? I am starting to consider using parroting while remembering quotes from the anime show in the voice i want, it's the only thing that cames to my mind, altough i will be parroting even those toughts that might not be from her, i am hoping this also helps her develop.

 

It'll happen by itself over time, but there are a few things you can do to speed it up.

 

Check out these two guides. And there are some more tips here and here.

 

Also even if i am just asking her to say things and then while i wait for the answer i analise my thoughts trying to see if they seem different or not, will still she able to develop her own personality and voice by herself even if i do this always the same way on a daily basis? I ask this because besides narration and parroting i don't know what else to do to make sure i am not doing all this work for nothing.

 

Yes. Her personality will be expressed in the way she chooses to say things, and what she chooses to say. Over time, this will get more and more different from the way you do things.

 

Yeah but how can i make my mind not block out these things when having eyes open? The hypnagogic state is kinda hard to control now lately (it's as chaotic as dreams) and it's very frustrating i don't want to use it anymore and besides it would be a lot more practical to hear these words while having open eyes so i am now practicing with open eyes, maybe it's best i start parroting because i don't see any other way to make her have a different mind voice other than visualizing hear the voice i want her to have.

 

Exactly as you said, it's too hard to control. It's a sign that you're making progress, but it's not something you can really make work for you.

[garland]

Wow thanks i think that for now this is enought, specially this link (http://community.tulpa.info/thread-forcing-mindvoice?pid=44178#pid44178) this one here i liked a lot and it does make sense to me ! As soon as i get results i will give feedback here.