Help With Servitor Issue

[Quilten]

Hello, everyone, I'm Phaneron, if we haven't already been formerly introduced. I have a small concern that I would like to voice, and potentially and hopefully I can receive some advice for. I'm going to try to paraphrase as much as possible, so please bear with me if I tend to ramble. I should also mention that I have two tulpae, Quilten and Jira, and that they did not participate in this significantly at all.

 

The story goes, last week I had an assignment in my creative writing class that involved writing a piece concerning the relationship between animalistic nature and the like of humans, so I was excited. I had an idea for what I could do, and I spoke to my teacher about it, who told me that she had no problem with it. The idea was to go into my wonderland, but transport myself somewhere completely random, and far from the island that me and my tulpae are currently inhabiting. I would take on the form of an animal (I had chosen a small fox) and go about like foxes do, and later write about my experience. There is an attachment of the piece I wrote (it is too long to paste in), and I should mention that there are some minor deviations and that when it ends abruptly, that was when I transported myself back to the main island where my tulpae were.

 

(Also: here is a picture of the house that inspired the house I will mention in the excerpt: )

 

Fox Experience.docx

 

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You might be wondering what my concern is, and that's understandable. The person I met in that experience was, conceivably, nothing but a servitor, and I would be inclined to agree. However, I face the problem of wanting to go back there, only to come into contact with this servitor more (which I actually would like to do), and in doing so repetitively, accidentally create a third tulpa. I cant really handle that kind of thing in my life right now, and the problem is that I believe that my subconscious would develop it into a tulpa without me knowing about it, which is how Jira came to be. There is no doubt in my mind that I want to return to that place, as you can see it is a very fascinating environment, but I cant seem to find a resolution to the conflict between feeling need and guilt because I didn't go, and regret if this does end up happening.

 

Any advice at all is very welcome, and I would like to thank you for any time and patience that you have spent here.

 

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EDIT: The problem eventually solved itself, and I greatly appreciate everyone's help!

[Linkzelda]

However, I face the problem of wanting to go back there, only to come into contact with this servitor more (which I actually would like to do), and in doing so repetitively, accidentally create a third tulpa. I cant really handle that kind of thing in my life right now, and the problem is that I believe that my subconscious would develop it into a tulpa without me knowing about it, which is how Jira came to be.

Well, you clearly have a conflict of having the desire to meet a servitor and somehow think that repeatedly meeting them will make them into a tulpa. Just because you have frequent encounters doesn’t mean it would gain a level of sentience and independence equivalent to a tulpa, just keep in the back in your mind that the thought-form is a servitor.

 

You're more worried on it becoming "someone," which means you feel obligated that you would have to treat the thought-form in a moral and ethical manner. Either way, you would still spend time with the thought-form, whether it's a tulpa or a servitor.

 

There is no doubt in my mind that I want to return to that place, as you can see it is a very fascinating environment, but I cant seem to find a resolution to the conflict between feeling need and guilt because I didn't go, and regret if this does end up happening.

 

Guilt trips just lead to negative wishful thinking, it doesn’t mean you lack a conscience if you just ignore the thought-form altogether.

 

I encounter all sorts of thought-forms when narrating and forcing, and some of them can be very highly complex and sentient, but just don’t worry too much on them being a tulpa you have to be responsible for. It's not like your mind is going to become this militant and dichotomous "being" that's going to put a curse on you because you ignored any thought-forms you just happened to meet.

[Entertaining]

I really enjoyed what you wrote. Best of luck on your report, hope it turns out good.

 

I may be asking this more for my own curiosity then to help answer your questions, apologies, but how does one differentiate between a Servitor only present in wonderland and an NPC in wonderland? is there a difference? I ask since, as I obviously have less experience than you, I've heard a lot of people refer to those in wonderland as either of those interchangeably.

 

I've had many conversations so far in my wonderland, and similar fears of turning those I find and converse with into Tulpae. Reversely though, the charachter in my wonderland I felt the strongest connection to, the first I've found, is the one I have the hardest time interacting with. (I'm also worried for several reasons about making her a Tulpa, and a prime one being I don't want to rip her from the family she has in wonderland.)

 

I agree with what Linkzelda said, NPCs/Servitors can be highly complex and real, but I feel that as long as you don't worry too much or dwell on the possibility, it will be fine to interact with these characters. I say that as much to myself as you, because I need to follow my own advice there. :P

[Shui]

I'd say the way this community uses the terms, servitor can be synonymous with NPC. The word "servitor" came to us from chaos magic, where it has a very different meaning though. Personally, that's the definition I prefer.

[Entertaining]

Alrighty, thanks. ^_^ Yes, I had seen the term servitor used on a few web pages about magic that I'd stumbled upon in my searches on servitors.

 

I had an idea in my mind that NPCs refered to non-tulpa restricted in wonderland and Servitors non-Tulpa outside of wonderland. Nice to know how the community uses it interchangeably.

[Shui]

Well, interchangeably to some extent. I don't know if I've ever heard of someone calling something outside the wonderland an NPC -- though that might be better. But inside the wonderland, either word could be used.

[Entertaining]

So my assumption wasn't entirely unfounded, in that case. I think, personally, I'll keep thinking of characters in my wonderland as NPCs.

 

(Sorry if I'm derailing the thread by the way, Quilten)

[Dr. Faust]

If i can tack myself onto this thread, what the hell does NPC mean in this context?

 

I'm assuming (from the way it's used in the community) that it's just a fictional character you've created which just isn't that important to you (the main character). However, I could be wrong.

[Shui]

That sounds about right. I'd say it refers to any part of the wonderland that behaves like an intelligent being while it's being watched, but does not have a consistent personality or sentience of its own.

[Entertaining]

I have a variety of characters in my wonderland I feel act like NPCs in video games. That's why I jumped to that term myself. Your typical stock citizenry/animals, then those I've had conversations and interacted with, some that I converse with regularly and interact with often, but I've always lumped them as NPCs because as much as I try to not to consciously control what happens so it feels like they're speaking to me themselves, this has at times been hard to do and even then I'm aware it's coming from my own mind. No problem for me with that though, because I narrate what I do as if it was a story anyhow. I don't necessarily not care about them at all, but I just feel as if /most/ are simply characters in a story. I'm assuming they also don't do anything when I'm not there. Unless I have a cute little Victorian styled forested village with it's own economy, society, political issues and culture running full time in my head.