DizzySpinda

Having relationship trouble because of interest in tulpae

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Guest Anonymous

Honestly, he has no right to tell you that you can't form a Tulpa. If you want a companion to share a mind with, that's your decision. Not his. Now, to be ethical, you might want to explain the difference between Tulpas and split personality disorder. For example, Tulpas are a choice to have and are a part of oneself, while split personality isn't your choice. If he still refuses to "allow" you to form a Tulpa, then he doesn't deserve you.

Keep this in mind, though. You said you've already started with the creation process. This is the absolute WORST time to stop (to my knowledge). Think of your Tulpa as a newborn child; they need lots of love and attention (especially in the beginning).

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I think some folks here are grossly oversimplifying here by saying basically "if he won't let you then he doesn't deserve you and you should leave him". Honestly, those of you saying that stuff, how many/how long relationships have you been in? Because I've been in one for almost 10 years and I can tell you that long term relationships are NOT POSSIBLE if you have that kind of "my way or the highway" attitude. Tulpas are great but you're dealing with real, external people with feelings, so you might want to consider those feelings and motivations a little bit, huh? When you have disagreements, the first step is to find out exactly WHY you're disagreeing and what over.

 

Number one causes of kneejerk reactions in significant others is fear or jealousy. He's probably actually afraid of what your desire for a tulpa means. If he thinks it will make you crazy, then yes, maybe he needs more info, but there might be a more simple and basic fear at play here. If you only gave him a basic description, he might worry that your desire for a tulpa means that you don't love him or don't find your relationship with him to be properly satisfying, and you're going to have to find a way to reassure him that he will still be just as important to you as ever.

 

Maybe that's not why he's mad (there not a lot of info here) but you need to ask. So before giving out any ultimatums, here's an idea: why don't you ask him WHY he has a problem with it? Communication is good, yes?

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Opopanax, I was leaning that way only because he seemed controlling and incorrigible from what she said and if he'd leave her about it, she doesn't need that. I don't think that would indicate a "my way or the high way" attitude.

 

And, he already explained why he had a problem with it. You speak as if a communication attempt wasn't made, as if HEEEE did not cut her off. As he if were not being intimidating. I can't recall whether he blatantly stated an ultimatum, so I won't say he had given an ultimatum.

 

I'm glad she tried again despite his cutting it off.

 

Other people's feelings can only be considered so much. In certain cases, if you're trying to communicate and they give you the hand, and there's no budghing at all, rather than changing unnecessarily for them, you can leave.. no one has the right to be so controlling- besides, that's also a sign of future things to come. You might end up tossing out a variety of things about yourself, or keeping quiet about a lot of things.

 

If you didn't read the past posts about this in detail, then never mind my criticisms, you simply missed the details. But if you did, your response is far too in favor of the one being controlling and rejecting something about the other person, even after communication was attempted, unreasonably.


My lip hurts.

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In the end, we're just random faceless people on the internet, anyway, and nobody knows the truth about what's going on with any of us, except each of us as individuals.

 

PEACE, I'm done.

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Uh, ok.

 

But one can still reply based on what they said. No need to blow it all off.


My lip hurts.

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Thread has been closed because the OP's question was answered and she moved on.


Lyra: human female, ~17

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