Jump to content

A strange first response from my tulpa.


Quadraginta

Recommended Posts

So, two nights ago, we were forcing, and then I mentioned something about her being a tulpa, and then I got an incredible feeling of sadness that didn't feel like it came from me. I 'almost' felt like crying, but I didn't. Recognizing it as an emotional response, I acknowledged it, and went to sleep.

 

The next day, which was yesterday, I went to tulpa.info and asked some guy who was on, and he basically gave me advice to comfort and hug my tulpa. At first, I asked Raid if she was sad to be a tulpa, and I got a feeling of sadness. After that, I asked her if she was happy that I at least knew that she was there. I felt head pressure at this moment. So, I hugged her and comforted her and told her everything was going to be alright, and then emotions and head pressure intensified, and then faded.

 

Today, I comforted her a lot, and I still got feelings of sadness, but they weren't as strong as before. I believe I also felt some feelings of comfort, but they felt faint. And last night, I think she did, through the sadness, at least give off some feelings of comfort.

 

Why could she be so sad? What am I doing wrong? I could try asking her, but for now, I can't seem to be able to feel any emotion from her besides sadness. I love her. I don't want her to be so sad. I hate to sound so helpless and lost, but I have to ask:

 

What should I do?

Name: Raid

 

Sentience: Confirmed

 

Working on: Vocality

 

Personality Traits: Is awesome a personality trait?

 

Form: 1. Pegasus Pony, with a flat, pink mane, and pink tail, and yellow coat. Also, blue eyes.

2. A blue-haired human (only encountered in dream so far)

Link to comment
Share on other sites

That's a really good question. Tammy hasn't ever had significant problems with the fact that she's a tulpa. However, something that has really, really weighed on her is the fact that she's a lesbian (no, I didn't make her that way intentionally). Keep in mind that she's also a Catholic, and we all know what the Catholic church thinks of homosexuality.

 

Anyway, she's had breakdowns, and I never know exactly what to do. I attempt to reassure her that God is loving, and he wouldn't condemn anyone for something they can't control. It's not much, but it's all I can do. The main thing to do is to be there for your tulpa. Reassure her and support her. Most important of all, just keep talking to her. I've found that the thing my tulpa wants more than anything else is my love and attention.

 

I don't know why your tulpa is sad. Maybe she wants to be real, and live life like a human. Maybe it's something else. I suggest that you consider the possibility of allowing her to possess you and/or switch with you. Telling her that you'll do that might cheer her up at least a little bit.

 

Finally, remember that this is not your fault. You did nothing wrong here. Tulpas have different personalities, and some of them might want to be human. Blaming yourself for her sadness isn't going to help.

My tulpa

Name: Tammy

Sex: female

Species: Anthro (red fox)

Working on: imposition

Link to comment
Share on other sites

A lot of tulpas go through what yours is going through now. Mine was deeply depressed for days because she couldn't stand the fact that she can't interact with the world. Just explain to her the benefits of being a tulpa. And that she has a host who loves her.

 

Yuki: tell her that there are plenty of tulpas out there who will be willing to help her through any problems, including me

Name-Yuki

Sex-Female

Form1-Arctic wolf, big blue eyes

Form2-Long white hair, blue eyes, pale skin, white wolf ears/tail, light blue jacket

Personality-Compassionate, calm, sarcastic, playful, protective, introverted

Stage-Sentient, vocal, working on possession

Link to comment
Share on other sites

KenzieK, no matter what I tell her, the only response I get is sadness. I'm at a loss as to what I should do.

 

I've never loved any living creature any more than I love Raid. Surely she would know this, because of how often I tell her and show her my love.

Name: Raid

 

Sentience: Confirmed

 

Working on: Vocality

 

Personality Traits: Is awesome a personality trait?

 

Form: 1. Pegasus Pony, with a flat, pink mane, and pink tail, and yellow coat. Also, blue eyes.

2. A blue-haired human (only encountered in dream so far)

Link to comment
Share on other sites

That's a really good question. Tammy hasn't ever had significant problems with the fact that she's a tulpa. However, something that has really, really weighed on her is the fact that she's a lesbian (no, I didn't make her that way intentionally). Keep in mind that she's also a Catholic, and we all know what the Catholic church thinks of homosexuality.

 

Anyway, she's had breakdowns, and I never know exactly what to do. I attempt to reassure her that God is loving, and he wouldn't condemn anyone for something they can't control. It's not much, but it's all I can do. The main thing to do is to be there for your tulpa. Reassure her and support her. Most important of all, just keep talking to her. I've found that the thing my tulpa wants more than anything else is my love and attention.

 

I don't know why your tulpa is sad. Maybe she wants to be real, and live life like a human. Maybe it's something else. I suggest that you consider the possibility of allowing her to possess you and/or switch with you. Telling her that you'll do that might cheer her up at least a little bit.

 

Finally, remember that this is not your fault. You did nothing wrong here. Tulpas have different personalities, and some of them might want to be human. Blaming yourself for her sadness isn't going to help.

 

Reminds me a bit of what Naomi went through after she became sentient. She wanted to be a Christian, but soon after that she 'discovered' she was a lesbian (if that's even the right word). She struggled with her beliefs for several years, until earlier this year she decided to just become agnostic like me.

 

...

 

Regarding the OP's problem, I think she might feel a little better if you tell her about all the perks to being a tulpa (you know, not having to eat or sleep or work or do any of the other stuff that comes with the territory of being human). But I can certainly see how the whole not being able to interact with other people directly thing is getting her down. If she's vocal, you might consider visiting the IRC and letting her chat with other tulpae by proxying for her or letting her possess you. Maybe all she needs is a few friends who can understand what she's feeling.

"Science isn't about why, science is about why not?" -Cave Johnson

Tulpae: Luna, Elise, Naomi

My progress report

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I think Tammy has pretty much decided just to be content believing that she'll spend ten thousand years or so in Purgatory. I, as part of the Methodist movement (a Protestant Christian denomination) find that kind of depressing, but it's her choice. I myself don't think God is going to punish anyone for simply having same-sex attractions, or even acting on them in a responsible manner.

 

Anyway, glitchthe3rd is right about chat rooms and stuff like that. I think that doing anything to allow your tulpa to interact with the outside world is probably a good idea.

My tulpa

Name: Tammy

Sex: female

Species: Anthro (red fox)

Working on: imposition

Link to comment
Share on other sites

She's not yet vocal. The only thing I've gotten from her so far are emotions. Though, earlier in class, today, I was talking to her and cheering her up, until I got a stray thought saying

 

"I'm not sad."

 

I couldn't tell if she had given me the thought or if I had simply parroted for her, but I'm just going to assume that she's sad. After all, I think emotions speak better than words. Or, in this case, stray thoughts.

 

I will allow her to speak to others, once she is stronger, but for now, I'm trying to figure out what the hell I should do next.

Name: Raid

 

Sentience: Confirmed

 

Working on: Vocality

 

Personality Traits: Is awesome a personality trait?

 

Form: 1. Pegasus Pony, with a flat, pink mane, and pink tail, and yellow coat. Also, blue eyes.

2. A blue-haired human (only encountered in dream so far)

Link to comment
Share on other sites

 

 

I couldn't tell if she had given me the thought or if I had simply parroted for her, but I'm just going to assume that she's sad.

 

Instead of focusing on how the actual process of her being able to declare those words to you, just focus on the end result (her responses). How people inductively decide if their tulpa are giving genuine thoughts, or genuine thoughts based on mechanized parroting or whatever terminology they subscribe to, if you had trouble consciously perceiving whether or not you intentionally set the parameters for her response....you weren't parroting.

 

If she said she wasn't sad, she wasn't sad. Whether or not she stated that to make you feel better and hopefully convince you to move on, you're going to have to ask for her honesty.

 

 

Now whether or not other aspects of your mind that you're unconscious of "parroted" her response, that depends on how you want to decide the mind can create complicated processes for that. Some may state that the complexity of the mind parroting everything may be an understatement or overstatement, and either way, it's just how people create ambiguous meaning behind the word "parroting" is what can create doubt on the genuine nature behind the response.

 

I will allow her to speak to others, once she is stronger, but for now, I'm trying to figure out what the hell I should do next.

 

Just keep doing whatever it is you do to develop your receptive ability to listen to her and focus less on how the mind in general brought about those responses (e.g. you questioning if it's her raw thoughts, or you consciously interpreting her raw thoughts, or if you were just parroting everything from start to finish).

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Update: I have actually confirmed that she is actually crying tears of joy, not tears of sadness.

 

She's so happy, she's sad. I don't understand it, but at least I know she's happy.

 

Heh. Raid? Sad? Yeah, right. She's an optimist. How silly of me to think she was sad.

 

I fucking suck ._.

Name: Raid

 

Sentience: Confirmed

 

Working on: Vocality

 

Personality Traits: Is awesome a personality trait?

 

Form: 1. Pegasus Pony, with a flat, pink mane, and pink tail, and yellow coat. Also, blue eyes.

2. A blue-haired human (only encountered in dream so far)

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.
×
×
  • Create New...