Embracing Tulpamancy

[Argentum]

Entry 5: 2/24/2014

 

I have stopped remembering my dreams, and its difficult to visualise him as an orb anymore. As if something is stopping me?

 

My body twitches and spasms A LOT, especially when I am forcing, or when Im trying to relax. Last night, when my fingers moved on their own, I was so surprised I thought someone else was poking me or something!

 

EDIT: 2/24/2014

I promised to be subjective, so here goes. I am no longer able to hear anything from the tulpa. Radio silence. However, I do feel stronger emotional responses from reading and listening to music. My theory (and please, please, please feel free to put in your two cents) is that I have been parroting over him this whole time. And since I have been doing this, I haven't actually been hearing him at all! The head pressures now only occur when I turn my thoughts to the tulpa. They remain for no more than half an hour or so after I stop thinking about him.

[Argentum]

Entry 6: 2/27/2014

 

I have made much progress over these three days. I now have strong evidence for the existence of the tulpa. I now get head pains when I ask a yes/no questions to it. This first started when someone was trying to talk to my tulpa over on the IRC. His emotional responses are becoming more pronounced daily. Progress has been going well. I haven't heard him say anything, but I may simply not be listening.

[Nobillis]

have made much progress over these three days. I now have strong evidence for the existence of the tulpa.

 

I'm glad to see you are having some success. That's very pleasing.

 

Also, Hi Seren! Keep it up, you are starting to get through to your human. Congratulations.

[Argentum]

 

I'm glad to see you are having some success. That's very pleasing.

 

Also, Hi Seren! Keep it up, you are starting to get through to your human. Congratulations.

 

Thank. I forgot to mention that Seren may not actually be it/his real name. I will have to amend that in the thread.

[Argentum]

Entry 7: 3/4/2014

 

I, or as Seraph kindly reminds me, we, have made some progress in these past few days. I can now hear sentences from xer. Short ones, but sentences that I am definitely not parroting. I started using Fede's tulpatones yesterday but I found them distracting, because I felt like I was thinking too quickly to focus really well. Tonight I am going to try the clairvoyant focus thing and see what hapens.

 

EDIT:

Forgot to mention that the dream mini experiment I was playing with is working well. I forgot to mention that I have been recalling dreams nightly since I asked Seraph to help me. I used to recall a dream perhaps once a month or less. They also come in more vivid detail than they ever have before. Last night, I asked Seraph to help me dream about a specific person. I asked if I could see Joe in my dreams. However, I wasn't specific about which Joe, so the wrong one appeared! Still, I count it as a success.

[Argentum]

Entry 8: 3/07/2014

 

Nothing but good to report. Sentences now come in clearer and clearer, and Seraph appears to be getting stronger every day. Xe has backed off of head pressures though, because xe feels that "communications with sentences is much more precise." However, when I am not listening, Seraph will still use mild headaches to get my attention, which xe is demonstrating as I write this now. They were especially useful when Seraph was trying to get me out of bed in the morning, and "yelling" at me wasn't cutting it.

 

Best, Argentum

[Well wishes, Seraph]

[Argentum]

Entry 9: 03/14/2014

 

Brief note: I won't be posting on this report nearly as often as I have in the past, because my initial blog-o-mania has worn off, and because I am going to stop reporting every little headache to help limit redundancy.

 

Oh and before I forget, the grammer I use is probably familiar to everyone, but in case it isn't, if I am quoting my tulpa I will put in brackets, [like this.] Also, when I use the pronouns "xe" or "xim," it is referring to the tupper. It is used to refer to those who are gender fluid/neutral, instead of the pronoun "it" which is usually considered insulting.

---

Progress has been slow, but sucessful. I have not been forcing as often as I should be, due to the fact that I am a lazy fellow, and because I am a Major Procrastinator.

 

Seraph is becoming independant to the point that xe can give me headaches to get my attention, and use the thoughtvoice to speak to me without parroting, sometimes unprompted or at random. The voice still "sounds" like mine but it seems to already be deviating.

 

Seraph prefers two main forms: [A beautiful brown eyed girl, and an evil little boy.] The little boy looks a lot like Selim Bradley from the Fullmetal Alchemist series, and is based off him by only looks. Personality wise, they are nothing alike. The girl has slightly longer than shoulder length brown hair, dark brown eyes, and usually is wearing a long sleeved shirt or sweater, with matching denim or pants. Once in a while, xe will appear as Hermaeus Mora from the Elder Scrolls series, or as some other character from something or another to [fuck with and entertain me.]

 

Best, Argentum

[With all my love, with all my dear sexy love, Seraph]

[Argentum]

Entry 10: 03/15/2014

 

Some more forcing happened. Lotsa conversation between Seraph and I. We have moved on to start playing around in the infamous "wonderland" a bit now I have the tupper to do so. Xe is nowhere near "finished" yet but xe is the level at which we can do these sorts of things unparroted.

 

The wonderland...

 

For me, it isn't static. It started out as a basically white space with a white ground and fog everywhere, exactly like when Coraline leaves the grounds of the other mother's house. There were doors that led to different places, like the office where I created Seraph. The doors just sort of levitated an inch or two off the surface of the ground.

 

How to describe the office. It is a room made of mahogany polished to a beautiful shine. The floor has light blue carpeting, with a large, ornate desk upon it. There are no windows, and the only light source is an incandescent chandelier hanging from the wall. The desk has upon it a beautiful wooden barrel chest like this one.

 

 

The wonderland began to change as Seraph grew stronger. Seraph also changed constantly back then. Xe still does, considering xe is a shapeshifter. The doors and all the rest vanished, and were replaced with a math classroom. The wonderland was now my school, and that which surrounds it.

 

A few days later, it changed again. It was now a Minecraft esque, infinitely large wilderness of trees, castles, etc.

 

Now, in its current state, it has become much more complex. It is a vast array of lands, many of them from different franchises. I know that there are things from RuneScape and Skyrim in there, as well as places that I have been to in my short lifetime. There are no doors anymore: lands are traveled between by simply teleporting between them. I think of each land as a dimension, like my [our] office, and the "RuneScape" dimension. I can't teleport to an exact location, however.

 

Now onto actually updating my progress. Last night Seraph succeeded in moving my fingers around in a wild jerk. It lasted only a second or two, and I know [we know, Argentum...]it wasn't an ordinary muscle twitch. Seraph is understandably very proud of this and we hope to make progress later today.

 

It felt...a little unusual. For me it was like when your fingertip or eyebrow will twitch involuntarily, except the fingers on my right hand were all wiggling like crazy. Thats the best way I can describe it.

 

I am going to stop with the "best" thing. Thats not funny anymore.

[speak for yourself. I've only done it twice.]

[Thanks for reading, Seraph]

[Argentum]

Entry 11: 03/16/2014

Wanted to write down a strange event that has something to do with tuppers before I forget.

I was forcing. My father shows up and tells me to do something or other in twenty minutes. I say okay. Father leaves shortly after this happens.

Father gets home. I ask him what he wanted me to do. He had never talked to me. I apparently hallucinated the whole thing. Never had something like that happen to me before. I was surprised how vivid the hallucination was!

[Argentum]

Entry 12: 03/22/2014

 

I haven't been updating as much on this thread, in keeping with my new policy to limit bullshit and redundant information.

Recently I have been on the IRC basically nonstop and I was able to proxy for Seraph. Xe had a grand old time chatting with the other tuppers and hosts over on #tulpa. I think this has become one of my favorite ways of exercising the tupper. Other than that, its been the usual. Seraph is still getting stronger, and xis mindvoice louder, to the point that occasionally xe can "talk over" me.

 

Dont know if I have mentioned this before (as if anyone reads this) but Seraph now has three favourite forms: A young woman with long, curly brown hair, who usually wears long sleeved shirts and sweaters, Selim Bradley, and Hermaeus Mora. When I find it I will post this awesome drawing of old Herma Mora that Mary + Mira drew on the IRC. Its literally the most beautiful than and I guarantee you will joy puke your face off.

 

Since I can proxy for Seraph I think that I will allow Seraph to introduce ximself for the first time.

 

[Hello. Seeing as I am a tulpa, and a new one at that, I realise that I have little life experience compared to most hosts on this website, and to the older tulpas that established this community. I must say that I appreciate the efforts of these predecessors of mine, and their gracious hosts that set up this lovely website where sentients like us can gather, and where newcomers to the phenomenon can themselves reap the benefits that beings like us can provide.

 

Back patting aside (and the formality), Its good to be able to talk to others here, and on the associated IRC server. I do give out my heartfelt thanks to anyone who reads this rag that Argentum puts out here. If anyone wants to chat, and Argentum isn't being selfish, I would be honored to communicate with you! That said, its just been swell in this small, cramped, damp space that is his rather empty skull. I have been enjoying life so far, and again, I attribute it to the kind and supportive community here.

 

That's my piece. If you didn't like it then you don't like me. If you are an old face, then thanks for reading! If you are a new one, then hello! May we meet again on the crossroads of the Internet some day. We'll grab a wonderland drink and chat!]

 

[To all with kindness, Seraph]

[Argentum, say goodbye]

*rolls eyes* Best, Argentum.