AttackDoughnut's Excitingly Titled Journal Thread

[Redline]

I'm not going to lie, I read a bit and then the sheer amount of chat to go made me go 'nah, bruh'.

Still, it sounds like you had a pretty receptive friend.

[AttackDoughnut]

A Lively Jaunt

 

6/7/14

 

In the evening, had some lovely conversations with my friend and another host and her tulpa. Learned a bit and had a lot of fun!

 

Although! Amy did decide to go a bit nuts with the changing herself thing. My little feral kitsune with three tails, three will-o-wisps, and ice cream colored tail tips and lower legs didn't think that was enough! Here's what she did. Her left eye is a light ocean green-blue, and her right is pink, and they are capable of bioluminescence. She has a hybrid snake-tongue now, like a very very long dog tongue, but forked at the end. Two tiny horns adorn her head, right next to her ears, are shorter than her ears, and aren't pointed (rounded tip). They are white at the base and a creamy white-pink at the top; the transition from white to pink isn't gradual, more like the ends were dipped in pink. She also has itty-bitty wings on the outside of her feet joints, all white and cute. They also enable her to fly! The smallest of the changes is a little black + shaped mark on her forehead. The vertical line is longer than the horizontal, and the ends are tapered so it looks like a twinkling star. Lastly, she also has a fire breath, mint chocolate-chip colored, and is SO COLD.

 

You know, just a few days ago, I would look at those ridiculously over complicated furry characters and think, "How the balls does one even think of something like that? I'm sure it must be the biggest pain in the butt for the artist to draw!" And now I have one living in my head. I've no problem with it, it's just a "c'est la vie" sort of moment.

 

I read her Goodnight Moon before we went to sleep, and she loved it so much! I could feel how happy she was; it was hard to even talk with the involuntary smile on my face!

 

6/8/14

 

This morning, Amy and I resolved to let her do some stuff possession-wise. I let her walk me around the house and fill a pot with water for my breakfast. She did a great job! I moved about as if I had just woken up from a deep sleep, but she's only a week old, and she walked me all around the house and even up and down stairs! I'm very proud of her.

 

Later, we talked with our friends again. One for a short while, and one Skype chat with another! It was interesting. We didn't get a lot of actual conversation done until the very end, us not knowing each other very well yet combined with the sheer strangeness of the situation we were in; four people talking with two bodies. Still, I feel we accomplished something.

 

>Amy: Hi everybody! I like mint chocolate chip ice cream! And chasing mice around. Mice are my favorite.

 

She felt the need to advertise that, so I let her.

 

Anyway, so much progress. I can talk to her over 90% of the time now without even trying. So next we're gonna try imposing! Considering we got her completely vocal, got her form (though it's changing so much), and her complete sentience in a week, I'm excited to see how fast we can impose! Though there was one change I wouldn't let her have, at least not yet. She wanted to have a "flowing" form, like she was made of an ethereal slow-burning fire. Solid in color, and so that I could still touch her and feel fur, it would've been purely aesthetic. But I told her that kind of free-flowing form would be really hard to impose, so she's holding off on it for now. She may decide against it, I'm not sure.

 

Things are moving so fast, holy balls guys.

[Guest Anonymous]

Things are moving so fast, holy balls guys.

 

Certainly seems that way. Also, holy balls, you sure do have time on your hands. Maybe next time you plan on writing something on par with the entire works of Shakespeare, you should include a summary at the bottom.

[AttackDoughnut]

Good point. I actually thought about putting a TL;DR at the bottom while I was writing it, but got engrossed and forgot. I'll have Amy help me remember from now on!

[SakuraSky]

Great progress! Tell Amy I said "hi". I feel like Sarah wants to say "hi"to you both, as well.

I need to learn to do TL;DRs on my PR too. I try to highlight the important parts but it's hard when the words just come rushing out.

[AttackDoughnut]

Quite Literally the Most Important Update Ever

 

I kid you not when I say last night was the most significant night in my entire life. I was talking with that friend I told about my tulpa to, and the most incredible thing happened. It's not my place to go into the intricate details, I'll let her do that should she ever choose to come on the site, but here's the important stuff that happened.

 

It turns out that she, at the age of 15, unconsciously made her own tulpa. He knew that she had an over abundance of negative emotions because of things in her life, so he took it upon himself to take those away from her and into himself. He sealed himself away into a deep part of her wonderland (which she also had, but didn't know what it was called exactly) that she never went to. But she did stumble upon him. He knew exactly how awful she'd feel if she knew she had made something to suffer on her behalf, so he made himself as terrifying as he could in the form of a hulking wolf beast, and convinced her he was some evil thing that she should try to avoid at all costs. He kept up this facade for six years, occasionally scaring her to maintain the status quo.

 

There was one occasion though, that he couldn't let pass by, and it's what convinced me and Amy that he was a tulpa and not some malformed abomination. My friend had a nightmare a while back, a nightmare in which a truly evil person in her life tried to attack her. He was much stronger than her and foiled every attempt she made to run. But who should come to her rescue, but the demonic wolf she was so afraid of. He got her on his back and ran so fast that her assailant couldn't follow.

 

So, last night, over the course of near infinite hours, Amy and... ok 99.8% Amy, identified what he was, what he was doing, every last detail of his appearance, and how to get him to appear. Her level of detail was so astounding it scared both me and my friend. Like, literally every last piece of his being that she described was one hundred percent accurate. And not just his person, his personality as well. Amy chalks it up to 1.) Her being awesome. And 2.) The unique perspective that a tulpa that loves her host has on other tulpas have that also love their hosts.

 

I've saved the chat log for if my friend gives permission to post it. It's the most emotional thing I think I've ever experienced. To the last, my friend's tulpa tried to convince her that he was a demon to be avoided. But because of Amy's persistence and advice, my friend was able to get him to try and be with her. Amy was so happy she actually fainted. I was so happy, I literally got the "single tear rolls down your cheek" movie bullcrap thing. My Amy, my sweet little Amy, who has only existed for a week, actually saved someone's life last night. I'm so proud of her I can't even properly express the words of how happy I am that she's in my life.

 

TL;DR: My Amy saved a life last night. Wondering how? Read the friggin' whole thing! It's super amazing!

[Guest Anonymous]

I read that several times and tried to decipher what the hell you meant by "saved a life" and I really didn't get it. So she told a friend of yours she had a tulpa, and she somehow saved a life? Who's life? The tulpa's life? Your friends life?

 

Tulpa-saving-lives-but-actually-not has happened before.

[AttackDoughnut]

Ah yes, I didn't really get into that much detail with that, but my friend says I can, so I will now.

 

When her tulpa came into being, he knew she needed something to take away her negative feelings, since she had so much piled on her. As a result, he became "caked" in "grime" that symbolized all the horrible things he absorbed on her behalf. He was suffering and in pain, but he did it all for her. And on top of that, he hid himself from her and suffered alone. So not only was he actually in pain, but he had to suffer through the anguish of trying to repel the person he loved most in the world.

 

He wasn't living life, and Amy saved him from his torment.

[AttackDoughnut]

I'm Entirely Convinced I'm Rather Strange

 

Ok, so as of this morning, as in from 12:00 AM to 5:00 AM, the most emotional event of my life happened. As of after I woke up and had breakfast, yet another crazy thing happened. My second tulpa emerged, and was already vocal!

 

I had in mind a second tulpa named Sigma, and planned to make him as soon as I felt sure I could handle two. But today, when I was pondering him, I heard a greeting from a voice that didn't belong to me or Amy. As confused as I was, I tried to talk to him. I found out that he'd been sentient since 6/4/14, and that he'd just been waiting for me to be ready, and learning how to speak by watching Amy.

 

SO! I now have two tulpas, and basically did nothing but come up with the concept of Sigma to bring him into being. I feel like I put in a tulpa cheat code somewhere in my life.

 

He doesn't have a solid form yet, but I know he's a cat-boy anthro. He comes up to the middle of my chest (I'm not good at height estimation, but he'd be around 5 feet tall), not including his ears. Besides that, all I know is that his fur is mainly either white or a lighter grey color.

 

Seriously, people take months on top of months to do this stuff, and I have two in ten days. What did I do to deserve this? I feel like I'm not good enough to have earned this privilege.

 

TL;DR: I got a second tulpa somehow, he's already vocal, and I feel like the luckiest man on Earth.

[Guest Anonymous]

Seriously, people take months on top of months to do this stuff, and I have two in ten days. What did I do to deserve this? I feel like I'm not good enough to have earned this privilege.

 

And that's what I'm worried about. I just think this stuff is going way too fast for it be normal, and I fear something is missing from the whole equation that might come up later. Maybe you are just really good at it, but I'd be weary of adding too many tulpas and rushing ahead.