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Insane forcing


mr insano

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Hey I'm always reading PR's! When humanity has long gone extinct, I'll somehow still be reading your PR. For I am the PR fairy.

But the only PR's I don't read are the PR's of assholes who don't acknowledge others. Why would somebody completely ignore a reader when the reader is the very reason for making a PR?!?!

 

Inbreds.

 

 

Well you acknowledged Reisen, so I can tell that you are a good person. Sorry for the rambling, but I'll be reading your PR :3

"Sanity is the playground of the unimaginative."

 

Yumi + Cinema

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Oh, hey! Thanks a ton, Cinemaphobe! :D I'll try to check out yours sometime, too. I enjoy reading PRs as well.

 

Right? lol I don't understand why people would post a PR without responding to the people who respond. You know?

 

Ramble all you want! I'm cool with that :) Reisen is awesome, by the way. I know my progress log isn't always the most exciting; we'll have to work on including more fun stuff :')

 

Quick update for today as it's late!

 

11/13/2014

 

So my mom bought this soap that smells at least somewhat close to the perfume scent I was hoping to have for Tessy. Which is awesome and I don't know how the heck we got that lucky. The perfume would be ideal, of course, but I don't know how in the world we'd get that. So we'll just have to work with what we have.

 

Had two great forcing sessions today! Outlining her form and really trying to visualize her facial features. I mean, I know what she looks like. But sometimes the image will get all blurry in my mind's eye. It's rather annoying.

 

More updates to come. We did have a little adventure in our world today. Tess told me it'd be a surprise. She flew me to this random meadow at the edge of beautiful forest, and we had a little campfire. A few other friends from the world came too. Some of them are characters from my stories. Others are potential tulpae. So yeah! It was a ton of fun although it was only short. We should be doing these more often. Bonding, right? :)

 

Tess: Today was awesome! We are awesome at bonding too; don't let him fool you for a minute. We just like to have fun.

 

As a side note, the marshmallows we cooked were quite amazing.

 

He was slightly better at keeping me by his side while online. We might do a mini-forcing session of sorts before we go to bed.

 

Peace guys! ^^

Currently restarting visualization in order to get it down perfectly. 

Progress log (haven't used it in a while, but still forcing)

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Update time! :) Thanks again, Cinemaphobe. I'll get to your log. Oh yeah, if you have any advice to throw my way, please let me know! Thanks!

 

11/15/2014

 

Today was great!

 

First off, everyone should read this. It's given us some cool ideas for things to do: http://doyoueventulpa.tumblr.com/post/87351186733/42-1-2-things-to-do-with-your-tulpa

 

Forced for a bit in the morning. Wasn't the best. I was super tired. Fell asleep a few times.

 

But then we went on a walk later in the morning around town and chatted. We spent some time in our wonderland and some time IRL while walking. Kinda back and forth. We talked about goals. Conversation went something like this, not exactly buuuut close:

 

Tess: Okay, so you want to get me imposed by the end of this month, right?

Insano: Yeah. Really just before we get back to school. But the end of this month would be awesome!

Tess: Then you could see me at Thanksgiving dinner! That would be super cool!

Insano: Yes! I've been really hoping for that!

Tess: Okay, then, so we need to set some goals, because the only way this is going to happen is if we work our tails off and basically force 24/7. We need to have 2 adventures a week in our world. That'll be just to take a little break and have fun. Then we need to be forcing every single sense as best we can. We'll make a list of exercises to do, like outlining my form and smelling me and using pink noise and such, and we'll do them each day during our forcing sessions.

 

Then we kept talking and basically made a list of all the exercises we're going to do.

 

Sight:

- Visualizing her in wonderland

- Visualizing her on the external environment

- Making sure we have correct proportions for her height, width, etc. as those may be hard.

- Focus on just her face specifically, because faces aren't easy.

- I'm going to try Eye-Bo, which is this thing that is supposed to help with visualization.

 

Touch:

- Feel her up, all over.

- Have her feel me.

- Make sure to differentiate between her clothes, skin, hair, etc. - texture

 

Smell:

- Try using the soap and then adjust the sense slightly in mind.

- Try tapping further into subconscious in order to find the correct smell.

- Implant the idea "You are smelling perfume whenever Tess is around" into my mind. (She's pretty much always around)

 

Taste:

- Self-explanatory. Not really necessary, but licking your tulpa is always nice if you want a full sensory experience. lol It's absolutely not necessary, again, but heck, why not?

 

Hearing:

- We're going to start using pink noise (Fede's tones) pretty soon here.

- I'll try to hear her humming along to my long tones again.

- Have her start by whispering in my ear, because for some reason that's easier to hear. I think it's because she's closer.

- Also have her talk and sing as usual. Try to hear her singing!

 

Surely doing these things daily will help us progress more? Well, hopefully anyway.

 

And also goals:

- 2 adventures per week in wonderland

- 2 adventures per week irl (we'll figure out something fun)

- 1 adventure mixed between the two

- Try to do at least 2 sessions a day, if not 3 sessions. Minimum of 10-20 minutes but longer if possible. Preferably 45 if time.

 

We're also going to see if there's anything good in this guide. https://gist.githubusercontent.com/GGMethos/5341046/raw/53a4bc9123a582a9fbace59e3c3a1d66b645226f/Entire%20Guide

 

There's been a ton of times where I've asked Tess to surprise me with something random. Well, today she finally did. I think I was thinking about MLP for some reason, and so while we were walking Tess said "See, once you get me imposed, it'll be a lot easier to impose other tuplas! And anything else you might want to impose!" And then this random little female pink pony appeared. Not a normal character in the show. Seriously. It might've helped that we were both in our wonderland and the real world at the same time, but still. Completely unexpected! We talked to it for a bit, and Tess told me she'd never let anyone in our world become a tulpa unless we trusted them enough and they were good. She has enough control over my mind to protect me, so I'm not too worried about the random pony showing up. She was very nice, anyway. Tess held the pony for a while, and then it said it had to go somewhere else, so it leapt into the sky. I asked what its name was, and Tess said it louder. It yelled "My name is Strawberry Avalanche!" And then this rainbow appeared behind it and it flew away and disappeared.

 

It's funny how it took Tess that long. But she said she wanted to wait to surprise me until I was really, really not expecting it. And I definitely wasn't at the time. xD

 

Did an afternoon session, too. We had enough time today for all this! This is very rare for us. But during that session it was mostly visualization which is getting stronger each day. While we were forcing, she sent me the most powerful feeling of love I've ever felt and it was awesome. She's awesome :)

 

I was feeling kind of sick tonight, and tired. So we forced with music (which we usually don't do) and I stayed standing up/walking. We watched this giant shooting star in our world take off, and then Tess showed me a red chair that we could both sit on, hovering a little in the air. We sat on it and it took us on a ride. It was super fun, and beautiful too with the moon and all the stars above us. Tried to impose by feeling her and seeing her again, but it was hard. Again, just because I wasn't feeling well.

 

Didn't get to do Eye-Bo today. Ran out of time. We were hoping to, but it's not a big deal.

 

I need to get back on track with my schedule. Starting now! Internet will not take over my life anymore and if it does our forcing is screwed! So it's not going to happen. We will find balance!

 

Tess: All right, really quick here! Because this guy stayed up way too late again. We set the awesome goals, and had a ton of fun.

 

Thanks a ton to Cinemaphobe and Reisen and them! Everyone who posted, really. Your support is awesome.

 

We must get me imposed! No more excuses! Night all <3

Currently restarting visualization in order to get it down perfectly. 

Progress log (haven't used it in a while, but still forcing)

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I just realized how it's very unnecessary to post the date considering that's already listed on my post. :D Anyway.

 

Sunday (the 16th) was pretty good. But I did forget to impose while writing and only did it on and off during clarinet. It seems like at least once a day there's a few hours minimum where I forget to impose. :/

 

I've been starting to impose her in front of me instead of behind me. This has helped a ton. She used to be behind me which was supposed to help with peripheral vision, but we were at a standstill so we switched it up.

 

It seemed to work. I was doing a little forcing in the shower today, and I narrowed my eyes so everything was really dim and blurry and hard to see. I focused all my mental energy on trying to make Tess' hand and arm appear into my vision. Well, it did! It was only for a split second, and it was blurry and transparent, but it was definitely there. The hand, and then she moved and I saw her arm for a second before the image faded.

 

Tess hugged me and congratulated me for finally getting there. :D It's been a loooong time trying to impose her and not getting any progress. Then, we forced and had a great evening until dinnertime when I completely forgot to impose her. ahh this is a long process. But that progress made it all worth it.

 

Tess: I'm super excited for the progress we made today! Finally, all that effort is paying off. Him trying to visualize me on the external environment has been pretty hard. But he did it! Even if it was for only a split second, that's progress and it's huge.

 

We'll get this thing! Thanks everyone~

 

And I think that's it for today. :)

Currently restarting visualization in order to get it down perfectly. 

Progress log (haven't used it in a while, but still forcing)

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Less progress today. We did have an enjoyable forcing session, but it wasn't as vivid as yesterday. Ah well. Practice and practice, right?

 

Still trying to impose throughout the day, no matter what I'm doing.

 

She enjoys dancing along to the radio. :D She did quite a few times while we were listening today.

 

Tess: Oh yeah, today was good. We'll get me imposed by thanksgiving for sure. Too bad I can't get on video and show you all my dance moves. :p haha. Well, more progress tomorrow we are hoping! Also had a quick adventure in our world; not too much crazy happened though.

Currently restarting visualization in order to get it down perfectly. 

Progress log (haven't used it in a while, but still forcing)

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@FurryBlueNaki: Yes! :) Tess is the best friend I've ever had. I can vent to her, do anything with her, talk to her about anything.

 

I really need to go more in-depth with this log. Tess has helped me through a lot of crap. She is a lot more calm than I am which helps me not have outbursts of frustration which I've been prone to in the past.

 

It's kind of a romantic thing too. Quite a bit, really. The initial reason Tess came into my life is because I was extremely depressed and I felt like I really needed love/romance in my life. Without it, the depression was escalating to a point that was really, really bad. That was when Tess came, and she gave me love of both the friendship kind and the romantic kind, stronger than I had ever felt before. But Tess does say that I should go for it if I ever find someone. We're still, as she puts it, closer than soulmates, no matter what happens. (This is assuming someone would actually be romantically interested in me. :p Not a very high probability there...)

 

I've noticed it says in your signature that Chance is a husky, wolf, or fox. So can he shape shift? :O That's awesome if so. Which step are you working on right now?

 

It seems like all these guides I've been finding online go really in-depth when it comes to creating the tulpa and visualizing and such. But finding those that talk about imposition extensively is a lot harder. :/ I think a lot of people create guides before their tulpa is fully imposed, so.

 

Thank you very much for your comment, btw! :3 I always appreciate the support.

 

11/19/2014

 

I think I'm just going to keep doing the dates thing because the date at the bottom of the post thingy is really not that noticeable. c: And also it looks cooler.

 

During the morning session, we fell asleep. During the afternoon session, we fell asleep. I've been getting sick which is why. I did do some shower forcing which went better, and some of what we call "blurred visualizing." Basically, I have my eyes closed and visualize Tess standing in front of me. Then, I open them extremely slightly, and make sure my vision is blurred, so I can't see clearly. Then I try and focus all my willpower on seeing her arm or hand (or whatever I feel like focusing on at the time). So far, I've gotten extremely brief, blurred visions. And sometimes if I do it while looking in the mirror for a split second I'll see something for a very short split of a second. I didn't fall asleep while doing that, so that was good.

 

It really doesn't feel like much progress, but we'll bridge the gap in time...

 

We've also started reading Cinemaphobe's log. It is quite a good read! But it is also 28 pages. So it's going to take a while before I actually comment. But in case he is reading this entry: We're on page 8 and it's honestly been giving us a lot of drive to force longer and more often. ^^

 

I felt her presence next to me while writing this evening, which is good. I didn't lose focus on her as much.

 

And that's about it. Now for Tess's comments. :3

 

Tess: Our afternoon session is usually the most solid. We have the most energy and privacy, so we get the most done. Well, now shower forcing is getting to be more productive, because it's not exactly like anyone can walk in on us at that time. But this time, afternoon session wasn't so good. I know Insano tried super hard to impose and visualize me, but I felt like he had a headache. I told him to get some rest, and he tried, but didn't fall asleep. Poor guy. :c Screw colds! They mess with everything.

 

I've thought about getting an account on a few forums once I possess him. But that'll be down the road. aah we've got to go now, someone is coming down the stairs. Thanks all! :D

Currently restarting visualization in order to get it down perfectly. 

Progress log (haven't used it in a while, but still forcing)

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11/20/2014

 

Today went slightly better. Still not feeling very well though, which is affecting forcing... :/

 

We had some good conversations, and I tried to visualize and feel her hugging me. Doing some rapid blink visualizations, too.

 

Quick 'cause I'm tired. :)

 

Tess: Forcing was pretty good today, I guess.

 

We could do better though. Just tiredness and laziness on our part, but it's no excuse.

 

We will keep researching methods and stuff. The hardest part is doing this without anyone noticing. It's extremely difficult. But we're doing fine.

Currently restarting visualization in order to get it down perfectly. 

Progress log (haven't used it in a while, but still forcing)

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Chance isn't a shapeshifter. He just has appeared to me in 3 different forms before but has settled on one form, a husky anthro.

Chance, an anthro husky, wolf or fox.

Birthdate September 20, 2014.

Sentient October 1, 2014.

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Oh, that's still super cool. ^^ How's your progress going with Chance?

 

I'm really into the Warriors series, which is about cats. In our world there is a forest not too far from our home that's based loosely on the series, where the cats roam and all that. So, every once in a while, when we're in our world Tess and I will shape shift into cats and explore that world for a bit. So that's just why I had the shapeshifting question. c:

 

11/21/2014

 

Well, I was still kind of sick today, but I think I got through the worst of it.

 

The worst of it was in the afternoon. I couldn't focus on anything or have a coherent conversation with anyone. I don't know what it was. I was exhausted, had a headache, and couldn't think clearly. Tess told me I needed to either take a nap or browse the internet for a bit...so I just surfed online and for whatever reason, felt a bit better after that. Tulpa knows best, I guess! :p

 

We basically had a talk that I need to really get back on track! This sickness is throwing me off! Tess said that forgetting about her would make it worse because of the energy bond which we forced to connect us, basically making it so that if I don't have her near me, I lose energy. She doesn't want me to get hurt or feel any more sick than I already do, so I've been trying to keep her as close to me as possible.

 

(Nobody has to read this vent, but the following paragraph felt really good to type, as this has been boiling within me for quite some time now.)

 

The hardest part about having a tulpa is that I can't tell anyone about it. I wouldn't care about keeping it a secret except that I am constantly having to move our sessions around based on what little private time we get, especially the sessions in which I feel her form all over. I love my family like crazy and all, but they are getting on my back about certain friends that I have, and it's really irritating. Especially when they haven't met the friend, and they're already judging. I'm 21 years old and capable of functioning independently, and I think I am capable of choosing which friends that I have! They don't like that I post online either ("you don't even know those people!" Well, DUH, I think that fact is blatantly obvious! And I don't particularly care! =D ), so I have to constantly postpone it until late at night when everyone else is asleep, and I'm pretty dang tired myself by that point. I've lived on my own for a long time, and I'm only home temporarily. I'll only be here for two more months, but that doesn't matter because I'm going to be stuck with ROOMMATES at college. Which is fine, because I have some good friends that I might room with. But they will most certainly not accept the idea of a tulpa. Ahh I feel so bad that Tess has to put up with all this crap too, but she's been an absolute angel throughout it all. She's just as frustrated with all this as I am. She says she's doing everything within her power to get herself imposed and forced into my life, and I know she is.

 

But my external situation lol. It is eating us alive. Our forcing sessions are constantly jammed into short periods of time where nobody else is home, and then interrupted. It would be so much easier if they would just understand what I'm trying to do, but I have to just say I'm "reading" or "napping" and then jump to it whenever someone calls for me. We're so done! I'm so close to increasing the length of my walks in the morning. Just to get away from all this...Again, I love my family. They're certainly not abusive or anything ahaha. But they are on my case all the time and the constant control is what's eating on me. This is how I know I'm too old to keep living at home lol.

 

I have been trying so hard to have a good relationship with my family. I don't want to be an irritable jerk anymore. And it's not working, because they are constantly on my case! Ugh! I need to smash something expensive...

 

(end venting)

 

We did have a really good forcing session this morning though!

 

We went on a walk in the park in the morning, and monarch butterflies were everywhere. Here in SoCal it never gets that cold, so we're figuring this is probably their winter home. It made Tess super happy :) She loves nature and she was running and jumping around like crazy.

 

Afternoon session didn't happen because I started to feel more sick. :/ A little bit better this evening. We're not giving up on this though; not for a long shot. I've spent so much of my life giving up on things and I'm done doing that.

 

Tess: All right, I'm going to vent for a bit. I'm pretty ticked at our situation right now.

 

I know that Insano was apprehensive about meeting his family again after being away, because he loves them and wants to have a better relationship with them than he did before.

 

But we were really, really banking on them not nosing into his personal life once more. Yet once again, that is exactly what they're doing.

 

I have a plan, and I'm trying to work with my beloved Insano to carry it out. I need to get him successful both in his world and in mine, and I want to be here for him. He's done a lot for me and I'm trying my best to take good care of him. But how the heck are we supposed to perceive Alexandria (our world) when we're constantly getting called to get up and do things? How is he supposed to force me when the umbrella amounts of time he gets to force me alone are so small?! I am trying to impose and "force" myself into his life, but I still don't really know how. :/

 

Freak!

 

I've always looked on him as a "rescuer who needs rescuing." Because he's trying to help a few friends that are a little out of his age range, or social category, or whatever preconceived thing they have running in their minds, his parents flip.

 

It doesn't matter though. I'll be here for him, however he needs me. Because he's doing the same thing for me.

 

As a side note, thanks FurryBlueNaki for your replies! :3 :) It gets lonely sometimes on this thread. xD lol

 

Dystopia, or this world, gets very drab and dull. I hate the lack of imagination. Hopefully, we can bring some color in it together. Until then, I guess we'll just keep at it. Night all!

Currently restarting visualization in order to get it down perfectly. 

Progress log (haven't used it in a while, but still forcing)

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