Insane forcing

[HazyM]

You can't just "open up your brain" though, there is no known method, so it is most likely all symbolism in his case. He believed in it as well as in those "entities" of his, so it was easy for situation to spiral out of control. Although it may be my mistake and he did have some method to open up and switch easily... At least he spoke of some highly specific way of switching that he used, but he never shared anything except his standard possessing guide, so we can only guess now... Or switching really is easy and it is just my inabilty to give up control.

[mr insano]

My entire detailed reply got deleted, because my laptop died and I am using this crappy old iPhone. It clicks on random things for me. How kind of it, eh? Thanks for the replies guys. I'll talk a little bit more about koomer's whole deal when I'm not on this ancient thing.

 

Late morning session was the highlight of today! It was just some solid forcing. We are doing great with visualization and such. Then I spaced when I went online and didn't narrate enough because my mind went YAY INTERNET and then my printer stops working right when I need it to work so I'm up late. Tomorrow will be awesome and Tess is doing well. We are just super tired. We'll sign off now before this crappy phone deletes my post again ugh

[mr insano]

I thought Koomer was hilarious. If you read from the beginning, he went into it with the immediate outset of attuning himself to possession. What's the worst that could happen, right?

 

Yeah, he rushed way too quickly into it.

 

What is so bad about posession? I personally think Koomer's progress was pretty impressive, unless he was a fraud. I mean, there is nothing wrong with desire to master posession and switching, I hope to achieve just that myself someday. His troubles were most likely due to drugs and irresponsible stuff his tulpa did to his brain.

 

I don't think it's a bad idea to do possession. Or switching, for that matter. I just wouldn't do it right away, like he did, and be careful that either you or your tulpa is always present within your body, so nothing else can get in there.

 

He did it to himself. He opened up his brain further than he could, or cared to, control. He wanted to be lazy. He wanted, or went after for his purposes, power without presence. If you want, in full conciousness, to experiment with that sort of thing, fine. He opened up his head and then took a nap.

He took it too far. It seemed like he didn't want to live real life; he just wanted his tulpa to do it for him. But I could be wrong.

You can't just "open up your brain" though, there is no known method, so it is most likely all symbolism in his case. He believed in it as well as in those "entities" of his, so it was easy for situation to spiral out of control. Although it may be my mistake and he did have some method to open up and switch easily... At least he spoke of some highly specific way of switching that he used, but he never shared anything except his standard possessing guide, so we can only guess now... Or switching really is easy and it is just my inabilty to give up control.

Yes, the belief thing could've been a factor into all that craziness. It's your mind - if something's there that you don't want, kick it out. I don't know about his possession guide. It appears as though he and oguigui (not sure how to spell her name exactly) deleted it.

 

10/20/2014

Didn't get the chance to log online yesterday (10/19), but we had a great morning session and she helped ease my fears when I had to speak in front of a bunch of people. Afterwards everyone said I didn't seem nervous at all, which was awesome.

 

As for today: Morning session was about the same. I mostly imposed touch but we both kept falling asleep. Tess has been giving me "energy shocks" which help me quite a bit. Basically, she shoots a stream of energy into me, and I feel a lot more, well, energized. But it's still hard to stay awake when we force so early. :p I don't quite know how this works; it's just something that she came up with.

 

Still, our morning session felt wimpy. I was getting a little bit self-critical, but Tess told me that I was completely capable of doing it, and we were just having a hard time waking ourselves up. That's all. She says she could get me up earlier if she wanted to, but she feels bad because she knows I'm tired.

 

Good narration throughout *most* of the day. Worked more on visualization in the afternoon, and then we imposed a bit. Took Reisen's advice and I've been outlining her features in the air. She turns around and such so I can feel the contours of each part of her body. The outlining sessions are genius!

 

Smell is still hard. But we're working on it. It's not our first priority right now, but it will happen. We also have grown to just love laying or sitting together and talking about things. Anything, really. It's a lot of fun.

 

Tess: Hmm, not much to report today...I think touch is going to be the first sense that we actually get imposed. Insano is trying to do a lot right now, so we're super busy, but imposition is a high priority for us right now. We need to do it before he starts school again. I'm really enjoying our forcing sessions, although I wish we could do them more often...Thanks for reading everyone. Peace!

[mr insano]

10/21/2014

 

Morning session of forcing wasn't so good.

 

The one we did this afternoon, though, was awesome! We did some visualizing and imposing. We've been working on methods for smell, and touch is going awesome. Also, expecting to see her has been something we've been working on. Also had a quick little adventure in our world; Tess took me to some cool places including a Halloween carnival.

 

Tess: Best part of today was a 45 minute forcing session in the afternoon. We're really going to make some solid progress within these next few weeks. Sorry our entries are always so short. We're spread thin with a ton of things to do. Tomorrow we're headed out of town; we'll see what forcing we can do!! :)

[mr insano]

10/23/2014

We were at the theme park all day yesterday, so our forcing was mainly imposition and narrating. Tess had a fun time. When we were on one of the roller coasters, she actually stood on the side of my car the entire time, just to show how much she could defy the laws of physics. :D

 

Today we did some more visualization and imposition, especially touch/outlining her image and just visualizing her on the external environment. Her image in my mind's eye is starting to be a lot more defined, so I'm hoping I'll be able to see her more clearly and fully soon. It's still in my mind's eye, though. It's frustrating trying to figure out how to bridge the gap between seeing her in my mind's eye projected onto the external environment and actually, truly hallucinating her.

 

I'm incredibly busy now, and once I go back to college in January it's going to be even worse. Tess and I were talking - we need to get her imposed before the semester starts! So we are going to figure all this out - we need to read a ton of guides and impose 24/7, no matter what and no matter how busy we are.

 

I accidentally fell asleep during forcing for a minute or so, and upon waking up Tess said something. I can't remember what she said exactly, but it was more close to an auditory hallucination than we've ever gotten before. So that was some awesome progress.

 

Tess: Yesterday and today were just awesome. I've been working with Insano a lot, to help him kick bad habits and just think things through. It seems like we've set a billion deadlines for imposition, and we still haven't achieved it. But it'll happen. All in time. We also want to see what sort of exercises I could do for memory - imagine what it would be like if I could memorize an entire classroom lecture? That would accelerate our progress at school like something else. We'd be beasts. :P Anyway, the possibilities are endless, but we have to get me imposed into Insano's vision, first. Hopefully that will go quickly and then we'll be able to start experimenting! Until tomorrow! :)

[Nayan]

Wow Tess, you're awesome, and you too mr insano :p

Peter: [Keep up the good work!]

[FurryBlueNaki]

Wow, my tulpa doesn't usually say so many words, but I haven't really focused on him that much in that manner. Perhaps I could let him speak more without subconsciously cutting him off.

 

Chance: Yeah, if you could do that, that'll be great.

[mr insano]

Hey, thanks for the replies guys!

@Nayan and Peter: Thanks to you both! You're more awesome ;D We really enjoy reading your progress log. It gives us motivation to do cool things like you're doing. (:

Tess: Aw, thanks Nayan! Ya'll are awesome too. And Peter, we will definitely do that! Same to both of you. >=D

 

@FurryBlueNaki and Chance: Hey, thanks for the comment! :D Yeah, Tess and I have done a lot of talking about...everything. It's mainly because I vent to her. A lot. :p Well, at least that's where we started, and now we talk about a lot more stuff. She's not hesitant to talk about people in my life she doesn't like, as well as people she thinks are awesome. And the like.

 

Tess:Exactly what insano said! Just talk with each other about life and whatever is going on...it'll happen. Although I'm sure you already know a lot about all that. :)

 

It's interesting that you mention the fact that you sometimes subconsciously cut him off as he's trying to speak. I've noticed that I kinda do that when I'm online for too long, like I get so into what I'm doing that I forget to talk to her, and then I don't hear from her as much. I feel bad every time I do that -_- Out of curiosity, what do you normally focus on with your tulpa, if not narration/mindvoice as much? :)

 

10/24/2014

Today's entry will be short as it's super late over here (well late at least by this household's standards, since everyone goes to bed by 10pm lol and I am on my laptop in a pitch-dark room). And we are going on another day trip tomorrow, heck yes. Imposition and narration, all day = is happening.

 

Unfortunately, today wasn't the best in terms of a sit-down forcing session. I was feeling a little sick and super tired this morning from staying up really late last night, so the morning session DID happen, but not for long and I fell asleep a few times. :/ We had an excellent chat at work today though. She showed me her outfit (she changes them every day and night!). Her tank top/blouse was purple with a white snowflake pattern on it, and she was wearing blue denim shorts. Winter themed top already - a little early, eh? :D She said she just wanted to wear it to anticipate the season, and besides in our world it gets too cold in the wintertime to wear anything but warm coats and such. We talked about life, really. She basically told me that she's here for me and she's going to help me in...everything. That we're going to figure everything out. She. is. so. AWESOME!

 

Afternoon session didn't happen because of large amounts of traffic. Freak. Then I had a bunch of stuff to do, but I blew it going online for too long. this will not happen again. ;) I'm going to be a lot more disciplined from here on out. I owe it to Tess, big time.

 

The main obstacle is that freaking internet. It is so fun and there's so much to do. I can't afford to stop imposing and narrating when I go online, but it keeps happening, and I NEED to limit my time or else I'm not going to get any sleep with work and school and such. It's like my mind goes OOH BOY INTERNET LET'S MESSAGE AND POST FOR THREE HOURS STRAIGHT! Yes, the internet is awesome, but I guess the whole idea is 1) I need to limit my time - I can still log on, just for shorter periods of time and 2) Internet must become an activity that we do TOGETHER. No more of this distraction crap. This means I must impose and narrate constantly. I was doing it when I first booted up my laptop, but then I had too many tabs open and mr. brain went fart.

 

Tess: This guy, man. :P He needed to be in bed an hour ago. Freak. We can't keep running the schedule that we have if he stays up too late. I'm making him log off after this. :p

 

But yes, forcing on all fronts is definitely progressing. I don't mind that my best friend and homie g, mr insano, goes online; he just needs to LIMIT it. It's not that he purposely blocks me out; it's just harder to get to him when he's distracted with the net so I usually just wait and watch him post. It's fun, but it'd be more fun if he'd involve me a bit more. I know he wants to, so I'm not worried about that. We just have to actually eliminate or minimize the distraction. Freak. Thanks for the comments guys. It's always awesome to see that people are reading the log of our progress together. Trust me - you won't be disappointed. ;) Big things are in the making.

[mr insano]

10/25/2014

 

Today went pretty well. We imposed/narrated for most of the day when we were on the trip irl, and we had a really good time. We were at another theme park and if there wasn't anyone in a nearby seat, she would just sit there. Otherwise, she would sit on the side of the car, or flutter/fly next to me. I am getting to the point where she sits next to me, and I can feel her shoulder touching mine. I can also feel her hair pretty well, so hallucinating touch has been progressing nicely.

 

We had a really good forcing session in the evening (in the car). Every once in a while, we do an "adventure session" where I force her somewhere different (in our world) and then we do something fun in our world afterwards. Today we forced in our world at a water park, and then did some fun stuff there. Swimming, exploring, etc. So basically, after the theme park irl, we went to the water park and theme park in our own world and did stuff there.

 

After the adventure session, we imposed, and again touch was the strongest. I am trying so hard to see her! And the smell is, once more, the hardest thing to do; the hardest for me to force.

 

But today was good, overall.

 

Tess: Great day! We had a lot of fun hitting the rides in both the ordinary world and our world. Lots of progress! I don't know when this imposition thing is going to happen, but it will. Also, Halloween. We need to do something fun for it. If anyone knows of any other really good imposition guides, please let us know, but I'm sure we'll find them as we browse. Thanks! c:

[mr insano]

10/27/2014

 

Well, today we found this imposition guide. It was genius. It also really explained how in a scientific sense one hallucinates a tulpa, which is quite useful. ^^

 

She's interacting even more with the external environment, which is a very good thing. Laying on my bed, sitting on my chair, and such. I think that'll help a lot with bridging the gap between visualization and imposition.

 

Had two good forcing sessions today. Imposition was harder for some reason until the evening, and then it became easier (?) I think I was just really tired earlier in the day, which made it more difficult. We had some good chats and conversations as well.

 

Yesterday was okay too. When I played clarinet she hummed some of the higher notes along with me, so I can work on physically hearing her voice. She's been doing stuff when I temporarily space out and forget she's there in order to remind me to talk to her. Like last night I burned my tongue at dinner, and she gasped and was like "are you okay??" Which was awesome, because I had temporarily zoned out of narrating to her, but she acted anyway! So she's more integrated into my subconscious now. :)

 

Tess: Yeah, today was pretty good. In order to impose me, we're really going to have to focus more on the external environment. We both get daydreamy/spacey a lot which is good, but at the same time I'm not going to get imposed if we aren't paying attention to the world that is around us! Umm, not much else. I had this other thing that I was insistent on talking about during our entry tonight, but I can't remember what it is. Hm. So much for photographic memory, right? We need to work on that and figuring out how it all works.

 

Today was kinda hard for Insano to see me because he was really tired and out of it; that and work went over for him. Poor guy. But! We did a relaxing forcing session in the early evening, and then we read that guide, and it suddenly accelerated. Sometimes all you need is an exciting/helpful article or two to pump you up, and then you can progress more.

 

I've also been working on possessing him a little bit, again more for the sake of science and experimentation than anything. And for fun. We both enjoy it. :D If he starts to do anything that's a bad habit, like biting his nails for example, we've been doing an exercise in which I move his hand rapidly away from his mouth so it doesn't happen. :p It's still partially controlled by his willpower, like if he wanted to override it he could, but we'll get there. At the moment it's fine. Our main focus right now is imposition. Anyway, hope you all are doing great!~