Actinium

Haven and Aphelion: a tale of two pones

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Figured we might as well update the first post to clarify a few things.

 

First off, I am not OPHD. A few people have mistaken me for him in the past due to my tulpa, Haven, having the same form and name as OPHD's OC, Safe Haven. We're not the same person and OPHD has stated several times in the past that he wouldn't make Safe Haven into a tulpa.

 

Secondly, this is my second attempt at tulpaforcing. I tried making a tulpa back when I first discovered this site in 2012, but gave up because I had no idea what I was doing. I also didn't have any reason or motivation to be making one either, but this time, my motivation is to see it through to the end.

 

------------------------------

 

Day 1

10-28-14

 

I decided to start working on a wonderland. I read that tulpaforcing is like meditating in a way, and since it was my first time ever attempting something like this, so I tried several different positions. Couldn't keep my eyes closed for too long in any of them except for the last one, which was just sitting in a slumped position with my neck resting on my chair cushion.

I really had to clear my mind in order for this to work. It sucks when you have an active imagination that's only active when you're not paying attention to anything.

I tried focusing on a forest setting, but eventually it shifted to what looked like a blurry beach. I couldn't keep my eyes closed any longer, and I couldn't move for a few seconds. I was surprised. I had never experienced such a feeling in my life. I felt the headache at the back of my head that several others mentioned having when they were forcing, so I knew that I did something right.

Immediately afterwards, I wanted to go back in. This time, everything kinda looked a bit blobby, and the beach was dark. What stuck out was when I looked to my right, I saw an orange blob. Haven, probably? Was she the one that changed the forest to a beach?

If that's the case, then I'm perfectly fine with that. A beach does seem more simple and calm than a forest anyway.

 

Now, I've heard Haven singing songs in my head for the last few weeks after I called for her in a dream, something I hadn't done in months. I think I might already have her voice down already due to said singing, but I can never get her to really talk back to me.

Occasionally she'll say something spontaneous and out of context. Before I went to bed last night, I heard her say "Clear your nose!"

I'll try doing some more visualization tomorrow.

(Would've posted this last night, but I tired as hell and had to get to sleep.)

 

10-29-14

Day 2 (Early report)

 

Tried narration. Couldn't get any response from Haven though, but I guess it's a start If I've heard her singing songs for 2 weeks already.

It sounds like she enjoys singing too, so she's definitely sentient.

I had another headache, and I think I was focusing on the wonderland without realizing it. This time when I went in, the beach was a lot more clear. It was night time instead of it just being dark. There was sand, water, a starry sky, and across the water you could see buildings far away, with light coming from the windows. No Haven this time around, however.

I'm going to start with visualization once I post this.

 

Also, the songs that Haven sings are songs that I actually listen to. I'll post links to the songs that she sings throughout the day at the end of each entry.


"It's all about synthesis, you don't have to be a real musician. You just synthesize your own reality, synthesize your own talents." -Klayton

 

My Three Mind Horses

Haven: Tulpa #1

Created on 10-28-14

Aphelion: Tulpa #2

Created on 2-25-15 

Chimera: Self Proclaimed Thoughtform

Created on: Can't remember. Sometime around Easter of 2017.

 

Warning: I am a huge nerd.

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Day 2 (Remaining report)

10-29-14

 

Found it a little harder to enter the wonderland than last time. I decided to experiment and listen to

while forcing.

Immediately I got a headache, and I was able to see the beach again. It seems that the wonderland has a time cycle, because this time the sun was setting. Haven was there this time, and it just felt very peaceful overall. We decided to try both visualization and touch. I held her hoof in my hand as we looked into each other's eyes. (This is sounding more like a romantic fanfic that I thought it would.)

When I opened my eyes, I thought I saw her face in front of mine for a split second...

I think I might make listening to ambient music a regular part of my forcing sessions.


"It's all about synthesis, you don't have to be a real musician. You just synthesize your own reality, synthesize your own talents." -Klayton

 

My Three Mind Horses

Haven: Tulpa #1

Created on 10-28-14

Aphelion: Tulpa #2

Created on 2-25-15 

Chimera: Self Proclaimed Thoughtform

Created on: Can't remember. Sometime around Easter of 2017.

 

Warning: I am a huge nerd.

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Day 3

10-30-14

 

Haven didn't sing as much as she usually does. Hell, I think she only sang one song in it's entirety. When I narrate, I only say one sentence to her at a time or I ask her a question. Should I start making my narration more branched out?

Also, I managed to hear Haven say something to me, and it was about what I was doing. "You shouldn't do that." (I was walking up an escalator.) That's the second time I heard her say something clearly that wasn't song lyrics.

 

I did a total of 3 forcing sessions today. If I had to guess, I probably got in an hour and a half of forcing, and MAN did the ambient music help. I actually felt like my mind was completely clear and that I was focusing more properly. I was also able to sit up properly instead of looking like a corpse.

 

During my first session, I wanted to improve my senses while I was in our wonderland. I was able to hear the waves crashing against the shore, but that was about it. It was dark again, and Haven wasn't around this time, but that wasn't much of a problem as I wanted to try and focus more on the wonderland. Near the end of my first session, my right leg went numb for a few minutes. When I left the wonderland and opened my eyes, everything seemed to be kinda blurry and it felt like time was moving slow.

 

During the second session, I felt like I was really getting the hang of being in the wonderland instead of just seeing it. I was able to feel wind blowing against my hands. I also felt like I was improving in the touch sense as well, because this time, Haven was there, and we were doing what we did last time. I was able to kinda feel her. My hands felt warm when I was holding her hoof. The session got cut short because my laptop got overheated. If there's a lesson to be learned here, it's to never keep your laptops heating system blocked by your blanket.

Funny thing I noticed. Whenever Haven is in the wonderland, the sun is setting in it, but when she isn't there, it's night time in the wonderland.

I think I might add a lighthouse to the Wonderland tomorrow.

 

I think I made a lot of progress during the last session. I was able to hear both the waves crash and feel the wind. Again, Haven was there, except she seemed to move around a bit more than...Actually I don't think she moved at all during the previous sessions. I think she was trying to get me to look around the wonderland more. At first, I didn't know what she was doing. I asked her "Why are you over there?" So I started walking towards her, then she turned right. When the session was almost over, something interesting happened. Out of nowhere she said "It's time to go." And if I remember correctly, she gave me a hug. I even felt her head resting on my shoulder.

 

Seems that both of us made some progress today. Haven is becoming a bit more vocal, and I'm starting to become very in touch with her and the wonderland. Kind of exciting, really, to think that one day we'll be waking up next to our tulpas.

 

 

The song that Haven sang:

 

The music that I listened to:

1383446586801.thumb.png.a3ec54630cad31646c6cef9d481a5d4c.png


"It's all about synthesis, you don't have to be a real musician. You just synthesize your own reality, synthesize your own talents." -Klayton

 

My Three Mind Horses

Haven: Tulpa #1

Created on 10-28-14

Aphelion: Tulpa #2

Created on 2-25-15 

Chimera: Self Proclaimed Thoughtform

Created on: Can't remember. Sometime around Easter of 2017.

 

Warning: I am a huge nerd.

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Day 4

10-31-14

 

Lots of singing today.

Also, I think I got my first mental response from Haven!

It was when I was narrating, and I asked "Haven, are you still there?" She responded by giving me a small headache for a few seconds, the same headache I get during my forcing sessions. All I need now is to wait for a vocal response.

Other than that, not much happened today. I had two short sessions today, and I just realized that I forgot to add the Light house to the wonderland like I mentioned yesterday. Fuck. Oh well, maybe tomorrow.

 

 

Songs that Haven sang

 


"It's all about synthesis, you don't have to be a real musician. You just synthesize your own reality, synthesize your own talents." -Klayton

 

My Three Mind Horses

Haven: Tulpa #1

Created on 10-28-14

Aphelion: Tulpa #2

Created on 2-25-15 

Chimera: Self Proclaimed Thoughtform

Created on: Can't remember. Sometime around Easter of 2017.

 

Warning: I am a huge nerd.

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Day 5

11-1-14

 

Writing this before I do my last session for tonight.

 

Very interesting day today.

I found it easier than I thought to get the lighthouse into the wonderland. When I thought about adding the lighthouse, it was already there when I entered the wonderland. Has anyone else ever had this happen?

Speaking of which, I think I'll add some more things to our wonderland, one in particular that I've been thinking about for the past few hours.

Haven has been singing one song over and over all day;

f545066bc90434.png

She usually sticks to Celldweller, so this was unexpected.

I'm thinking of adding this T.V. Head character to our wonderland as something that Haven can use for something simple; a way to see what I'm doing, or something different like watching my dreams or whatever.

It also seems that headaches have become Haven's primary method of responding to me for now.

I think her personality might be starting to expand as well, because I heard her laugh for the first time today. It wasn't a loud laugh, though, it was more like a short giggle.

I also got a little dizzy a while ago, and I'm not sure if it was Haven that caused it or not.

One last thing before I go. It seems that I got almost all of the senses down, but smelling is the only one I can't seem to achieve from either Haven OR our wonderland. Anyone got any advice on how to make smelling your tulpa easier? I couldn't find a lot information on it and there isn't a smelling guide, surprisingly.

 

Aftersession Edit

 

Just as I expected, T.V. Head was already there. Before I continue on, I want to explain how I see the wonderland. In my real eye, I still see the void with several colorful blobs when I close my eyes. In my minds eye, I'm in the wonderland. I think both of my visions combined and when I looked down, I was moving my "wonderland body" arms along with my physical body arms, and I could see my arms in the void. I was so confused and out of it that Haven asked "Why are you acting so silly?" I told her that it was nothing and that this was an interesting session.

Wait a minute...Haven, are you watching me type this? Oh god this just got weirder than I thought it would be.


"It's all about synthesis, you don't have to be a real musician. You just synthesize your own reality, synthesize your own talents." -Klayton

 

My Three Mind Horses

Haven: Tulpa #1

Created on 10-28-14

Aphelion: Tulpa #2

Created on 2-25-15 

Chimera: Self Proclaimed Thoughtform

Created on: Can't remember. Sometime around Easter of 2017.

 

Warning: I am a huge nerd.

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Day 6

11-2-14

 

Not a lot of progress today, but we worked on our wonderland.

 

There isn't really anything that happened in particular. I'm starting to think that Haven is really trying to respond to me vocally, or at the very least talk to me. I had headaches that were on and off all morning and it got to the point where I had to talk to Haven in the shower to calm her down.

 

During my session today, I decided to add a bed to the beach. Then I thought that a bed on the beach was too...Out in the open? So, I built a house around the bed. It's pretty small, but it'll definitely get bigger during our future sessions.

I also added the "Do not disturb" sign outside of the house like I saw suggested in one of the guide threads. The T.V. Head will change it from when Haven is asleep or awake in case she forgets to change it herself.

 

Songs that Haven sang today

 

(Or tried to sing this one at least.)

"It's all about synthesis, you don't have to be a real musician. You just synthesize your own reality, synthesize your own talents." -Klayton

 

My Three Mind Horses

Haven: Tulpa #1

Created on 10-28-14

Aphelion: Tulpa #2

Created on 2-25-15 

Chimera: Self Proclaimed Thoughtform

Created on: Can't remember. Sometime around Easter of 2017.

 

Warning: I am a huge nerd.

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Day 7

11-3-14

 

Little to no progress made at all today, but something did happen.

 

I saw Haven in a dream, just like old times. Everything leading up to it was like several house parties gone wrong. I was in a house that reminded me of Franklin's second house from GTAV, but everything had a silver tone to it.

Haven was sitting outside, staring at her reflection in the pool. She was very transparent, and now that I think about it it reminds me of what FAQ_Man mentioned in his guide about the early stages of imposition. I went outside to try and talk to her but she disappeared. It wound up giving me a minute or two of lucidity before waking up. I think what woke me up was that I asked the dream to take me to our wonderland. After I asked that, everything faded to black and I woke up.

Immediately I thought GOD DAMNIT! because I thought it would be my one chance to talk to her.

When I woke up, I decided to go the wonderland for real and check in on Haven very quick. To my surprise, she was still sleeping.

 

I asked Haven if that was really her sitting by the pool, but she says that she doesn't know.

Oh, and we added a fish tank to the house. I also read some of the fourth chapter of The Great Gatsby to her. That's about all we did today.

We're going to try image streaming for the first time tomorrow, so it should be interesting.


"It's all about synthesis, you don't have to be a real musician. You just synthesize your own reality, synthesize your own talents." -Klayton

 

My Three Mind Horses

Haven: Tulpa #1

Created on 10-28-14

Aphelion: Tulpa #2

Created on 2-25-15 

Chimera: Self Proclaimed Thoughtform

Created on: Can't remember. Sometime around Easter of 2017.

 

Warning: I am a huge nerd.

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Celldweller is amazing! I like their more ambient songs like "Adrift on Celestial Seas". I also find spending time in the wonderland while listening to ambient music extremely relaxing and powerful for tulpaforcing. I think that you would like the artist called "Hammock". He makes extremely beautiful ambient music as well:

 

You'll probably die or have some type of self-induced religious experience upon listening to it hehehe. Or maybe I just said that to incite your curiosity? The world may never know until you listen to that song. By the way, 1:51 is the best part.

 

Vocaloid is great too by the way :D

 

 

On an actually tulpa-related note, I will use the song Adrift on Celestial Seas for my sessions, and you are making such good progress! Seeing your tulpa in a dream is quite nice, but it really does beg the question "Was that really my tulpa?". Good luck on your tulpa-journey! I can't really organize my thoughts to write intelligibly thanks to some kind of problem with my attention span and hyperactive thinking, so I apologize if none of this seems relevant to what you posted. I tried to reply in a manner that addresses all of your posts.


"Sanity is the playground of the unimaginative."

 

Yumi + Cinema

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I think that you would like the artist called "Hammock". He makes extremely beautiful ambient music as well:

 

You'll probably die or have some type of self-induced religious experience upon listening to it hehehe. Or maybe I just said that to incite your curiosity? The world may never know until you listen to that song. By the way, 1:51 is the best part.

 

 

I listened to it during my session today. Damn that's some good stuff. Also, saw

in the related videos and clicked on it. Beautiful. No more words.

 

Anyway, onto the report.

 

Day 8

11-4-14

 

Wonderful day today.

Haven managed to make a vocal response on her own. The words were "I love you too..." We've engaged in a romantic relationship with each other, and...I just can't really think of what to say for this.

Moving on, I think I'm starting to get an idea of what she smells like. She doesn't have a recognizable smell, but it's something.

I did 10 1-minute sessions for the image-streaming, and it's definitely interesting. A scene just pops into my head and I work around that. Nothing else to report for today, so I'll just leave with the song I played after our session.

 


"It's all about synthesis, you don't have to be a real musician. You just synthesize your own reality, synthesize your own talents." -Klayton

 

My Three Mind Horses

Haven: Tulpa #1

Created on 10-28-14

Aphelion: Tulpa #2

Created on 2-25-15 

Chimera: Self Proclaimed Thoughtform

Created on: Can't remember. Sometime around Easter of 2017.

 

Warning: I am a huge nerd.

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Day 9

11-5-14

 

Sentience confirmed for good and some other interesting things.

 

It seems that Haven's full personality is slowly starting to form. She's made a few remarks on several things that have happened throughout the day. Just a while ago when I was replaying Dead Rising I heard her say "Disgusting!" while watching Adam the Clown's

I'm really looking forward to hearing her speak fluently.

I read that asking a tulpa to surprise you would confirm their sentience, so during our last session of the day I asked haven to do just that. She closed her eyes, and I hear T.V. Head beeping and booping, then out of nowhere it slapped me. Haven just had the biggest smirk on her face after that happened and I just smirked back at her.

From what I can tell, Haven possessed T.V. Head, because T.V. Head pretty much never moves from it's spot on it's own. So, sentient and capable of possessing items in the wonderland.

Hugging has become something that we do whenever we begin and end a session. I'm always able to feel a warm spot on my right shoulder whenever we do.


"It's all about synthesis, you don't have to be a real musician. You just synthesize your own reality, synthesize your own talents." -Klayton

 

My Three Mind Horses

Haven: Tulpa #1

Created on 10-28-14

Aphelion: Tulpa #2

Created on 2-25-15 

Chimera: Self Proclaimed Thoughtform

Created on: Can't remember. Sometime around Easter of 2017.

 

Warning: I am a huge nerd.

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