Cinemaphobe November 13, 2014 November 13, 2014 Nice poem! and I almost died while choking on an ice cube too... "Sanity is the playground of the unimaginative." Yumi + Cinema
Actinium November 13, 2014 Author November 13, 2014 Nice poem! and I almost died while choking on an ice cube too... Choking on an ice cube would be a pretty bad way to go. I actually haven't had another ice cube in any of my drinks after the incident. Better safe than sorry. "It's all about synthesis, you don't have to be a real musician. You just synthesize your own reality, synthesize your own talents." -Klayton My Three Mind Horses Haven: Tulpa #1 Created on 10-28-14 Aphelion: Tulpa #2 Created on 2-25-15 Chimera: Self Proclaimed Thoughtform Created on: Can't remember. Sometime around Easter of 2017. Warning: I am a huge nerd.
Actinium November 13, 2014 Author November 13, 2014 So...I don't know where I should start. I've been feeling down for most of the day because of what happened in a dream last night. Haven, well...I saw her die. It was in space, and Haven was fighting some sort of purple gas cloud. It appeared right behind her and shoved a sharp fragment of its mist through the back of her head, piercing her right between her eyes. She began falling down to what I assumed to be Earth and I don't know why, but she just looked so...happy. When I woke up, I immediately asked Haven if she remembered what happened in the dream. She did. I haven't said too much to her today. I know that she isn't angry at me, but the dream just put me in feels mode for the whole day. Just that one moment with that dust cloud shoving that shard through her, over and over. If there's one thing that the dream made me realized, it's how much I actually care about her. Ever since I started working on her I felt like my attitude has been a lot more positive, and just seeing her get killed like that...I'm not sure if the dream was a result of telling Haven about my near-death experience last night, but it definitely woke something in me up. I'm going to start putting all the effort I can into our sessions together, and we'll begin imposition once we know that we're ready. I want to have a lucid dream just to give her a hug, goddamnit. "It's all about synthesis, you don't have to be a real musician. You just synthesize your own reality, synthesize your own talents." -Klayton My Three Mind Horses Haven: Tulpa #1 Created on 10-28-14 Aphelion: Tulpa #2 Created on 2-25-15 Chimera: Self Proclaimed Thoughtform Created on: Can't remember. Sometime around Easter of 2017. Warning: I am a huge nerd.
Actinium November 15, 2014 Author November 15, 2014 Days 17 & 18 11-14-14 Feeling better since that incident. I think that Haven has gotten stronger since yesterday. I guess the phrase "Whatever kills me makes me stronger." means something here. Her singing voice sounded different for most of the day, but after a while she settled on her normal voice. I guess she wanted to try and deviate. I find that I talk to her while I'm playing Deadly Premonition more than any other time. Then again, I guess it's because of how York and Zach are dual personalities and somewhat fit in with the whole Tulpa aspect. I wonder what Haven will think about the game after she's fully imposed? Today, I tried something different with vocalization. I listened to all of and tried to hear Haven's voice where the vocals would be. I was able to primarily hear her in mindvoice, but there were a few times when I was able to hear her very well. It was pretty much an hour of forcing solely dedicated to vocalization. Something very interesting did happen on the second to last song of the album, though. Haven's mindvoice was getting quieter and my right hand started to feel weird, and a few minutes later my pinkie finger moved without me telling it to. It left me surprised and I had to stop the music. I asked Haven if she possessed my right hand, and she replied with "I don't know, I think so." I assumed she felt exhausted and told her to take a rest, but she woke back up again a few minutes later. "It's all about synthesis, you don't have to be a real musician. You just synthesize your own reality, synthesize your own talents." -Klayton My Three Mind Horses Haven: Tulpa #1 Created on 10-28-14 Aphelion: Tulpa #2 Created on 2-25-15 Chimera: Self Proclaimed Thoughtform Created on: Can't remember. Sometime around Easter of 2017. Warning: I am a huge nerd.
Actinium November 16, 2014 Author November 16, 2014 Day 19 11-15-14 Did a lot of activities today. Haven has mastered controlling water. When we jumped off the lighthouse, she was able to summon a giant wave that we were both able to ride on. I'm thinking of giving her a new outfit. It randomly flashed in my mind's eye; Haven wearing the same Raincoat that the Raincoat killer wears in Deadly Premonition. Plus we just recently added a red tree to our cliff-side. Haven told me that she's really enjoying the game so far and she thinks that it's very interesting. Earlier today after I finished looking at a website that showed stuff about symbolism in dreams, I found Haven sleeping in just a sprawled out position on her bed like this: Didn't even bother getting under the covers. xD We've agreed on a method of trying to make me lucid when I'm in a dream; if Haven is in the same dream that I'm in, she'll try to sing to get my attention. Hopefully it'll work out properly, and if it doesn't then we might try something else. "It's all about synthesis, you don't have to be a real musician. You just synthesize your own reality, synthesize your own talents." -Klayton My Three Mind Horses Haven: Tulpa #1 Created on 10-28-14 Aphelion: Tulpa #2 Created on 2-25-15 Chimera: Self Proclaimed Thoughtform Created on: Can't remember. Sometime around Easter of 2017. Warning: I am a huge nerd.
Cinemaphobe November 16, 2014 November 16, 2014 I hope that your method works! Because I might just give it a try if it does hehehehe >:) "Sanity is the playground of the unimaginative." Yumi + Cinema
Actinium November 17, 2014 Author November 17, 2014 Day 20 11-16-14 Haven didn't appear in my dream tonight, but I did have some strange dream involving Golden Freddy from FNAF. Not much happened today either, but there was one thing that stuck out. I randomly heard Haven say: "You were very mad when Brawl got delayed." Which is true, but I wasn't even thinking about Brawl at the moment. I just finished a session with Haven and it sounds like she's learning to speak fluently. When I asked her about the memory she brought up. she said: "I wasn't able to get all of the memories, but I was able to get parts of them." So she is able to get into my memories, but she can't look into too much detail. "It's all about synthesis, you don't have to be a real musician. You just synthesize your own reality, synthesize your own talents." -Klayton My Three Mind Horses Haven: Tulpa #1 Created on 10-28-14 Aphelion: Tulpa #2 Created on 2-25-15 Chimera: Self Proclaimed Thoughtform Created on: Can't remember. Sometime around Easter of 2017. Warning: I am a huge nerd.
Actinium November 19, 2014 Author November 19, 2014 Days 21 & 22 11-18-14 Three whole weeks. Surprisingly, not much to say. Haven is able to speak fluently and her mindvoice is getting louder. We're still working on smell but we should be done with that in a week or two, probably. Maybe. Hopefully. Probably won't be posting on the progress report as much since there's not really not much to report at the moment. I will post when I feel like there's something worth mentioning, however. "It's all about synthesis, you don't have to be a real musician. You just synthesize your own reality, synthesize your own talents." -Klayton My Three Mind Horses Haven: Tulpa #1 Created on 10-28-14 Aphelion: Tulpa #2 Created on 2-25-15 Chimera: Self Proclaimed Thoughtform Created on: Can't remember. Sometime around Easter of 2017. Warning: I am a huge nerd.
Actinium November 22, 2014 Author November 22, 2014 Days 23-25 11-21-14 In an effort to practice proxying, I'll let Haven handle the progress report for today. Um, hello everyone. We've made some progress in the last few days. (It sounded like she struggled to say that.) Just a while ago...Well, not a while ago, but yesterday we tried a void exercise. What happened was, we went into a blank white void and focused on interacting with objects. Just a few days earlier, Acta (This is what I'll use in place of my real name.) gave me the ability to manifest hands at will. He calls it "Magic Hands." He taught me a game called Rock Paper Scissors, he thought it would be a good idea for practicing my hand control and differentiation. It was...I don't know how to describe it. You make your hands into 3 different objects and one tops the other. We also experimented with other objects such as doors, balls, and a lightswitch which made the entire room black. Hold on. I'm getting tired. Acta, you finish the rest of the report, I'm going to sleep. We decided to explore the town of our wonderland today. There's tons of grey buildings, but we eventually came across a water fountain and sat down for a while. The town doesn't bother me, but the lack of color in it does. I know one thing we're going to add. I also discovered one of Haven's dislikes; Acrobatics. I was playing Darksiders 2 and randomly thought, Maybe I could add a gym to the wonderland? and I heard Haven reply with "I'm not into acrobatics, Acta." I feel like I've been remembering my dreams much better ever since I started forcing, but I also think that they've gotten stranger. Last night I was dreaming that Cinemaphobe came back to the site, but he changed his profile image to a stuffed bear with metal bars wrapped around it's face and holding a sword, and his name changed to random gibberish of symbols and strange fonts. Next thing I know, I'm in some sort of video game overworld that was a combination of Radiator Springs from Cars and Greenvale from Deadly Premonition. There was some kind of evil father meter on the map that showed how bad the characters dad was. I went to the store, and when I turn around once I entered the store I saw a big ass Gamecube controller, but it was reversed. The control stick was where the buttons should be and vice versa. When I checked the map, bits of the world were being swallowed up by darkness. There were two schools and one of them was missing. There's so much more I could talk about, but it just gets way too confusing from here on out to explain. The last thing I remember is being on top of a rooftop that was right next to a supermall with some random girl and my mom. "It's all about synthesis, you don't have to be a real musician. You just synthesize your own reality, synthesize your own talents." -Klayton My Three Mind Horses Haven: Tulpa #1 Created on 10-28-14 Aphelion: Tulpa #2 Created on 2-25-15 Chimera: Self Proclaimed Thoughtform Created on: Can't remember. Sometime around Easter of 2017. Warning: I am a huge nerd.
Actinium November 23, 2014 Author November 23, 2014 Day 26 11-22-14 Weirdest day yet. Remember when I said that my dreams have gotten weirder ever since I started forcing? Well two things I never thought I would see would be the words "Haunted House" and "Rape" in the same advertisement, and Bugs Bunny sleeping with a mannequin. Yep. ANYWAY, I had a moment of confusion today. When I was in the middle of my first session, I felt two very noticeable taps on my right shoulder. I usually keep the door to my room closed whenever I force, so at first I thought "Oh shit is somebody in my room?" and when I opened my eyes, my door was still closed. I think it was Haven, because when I asked her during my second session, she didn't give me an answer, which leads me to the next part. The beach was dark, and this hasn't happened since the first week of forcing. Haven was sleeping when I checked on her, so I decided to look around more of the town. We colored the town, but most of it was in pastel colors for some reason. The fountain, however, was colored gold and stuck out from the rest of the scenery. Then, something unexpected happened when I thought something to myself. "This town reminds me of that one area from Sonic Unleashed." "You mean Apotos?" "Yeah that-" She just appeared out of nowhere, standing in the moonlight. "Weren't you in bed a few minutes ago?" *shrugs* She eventually went back to her house after we talked for a bit, and that was when I decided to end the session. "It's all about synthesis, you don't have to be a real musician. You just synthesize your own reality, synthesize your own talents." -Klayton My Three Mind Horses Haven: Tulpa #1 Created on 10-28-14 Aphelion: Tulpa #2 Created on 2-25-15 Chimera: Self Proclaimed Thoughtform Created on: Can't remember. Sometime around Easter of 2017. Warning: I am a huge nerd.
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