Sorryman54 July 25, 2012 Author July 25, 2012 I watched "Pet Semetary" with Dash. I narrated the entire hour and forty minute movie. I think it was a good bonding experience with us.
Sorryman54 July 26, 2012 Author July 26, 2012 Narrated for about an hour today. I'm going to be super patient with her. NO DOUBTS! IM SUPER CEREAL GAIS! DOUBTS ARE TUPPERKILLERS.
Sorryman54 July 27, 2012 Author July 27, 2012 Good mentality. Thanks, Exceed. You got to be determined. Also, treat your tulpa like it's sentient from the start. Don't doubt yourself, all tulpas that have been interviewed say they hate doubt.
Sorryman54 July 28, 2012 Author July 28, 2012 Horrible nightmare has occured about 10 minutes ago. I was in someplace I've never been before. I was in a town, or more like the outskirts of a town. I stood there, trying to walk, but I couldn't. I couldn't scream, either. I saw Dashie standing in a field, watching the sky. The sky started turning grey, then black. The sun was blocked out with bombs. Millions of them. Dashie tried to fly away, but a bomb struck down and vaporized her. Gone, in less than a second. Everyone else was screaming and panicking. The fucked up thing is, I didn't die. Oh no, I had to watch everyone die, and get their homes destroyed, too. I could of saved Dash if I wasn't paralyzed. There was a fallout shelter less than 60 feet from her. But nope, I was stuck. Fuck you, brain. FUCK YOU.
Sorryman54 July 31, 2012 Author July 31, 2012 BIG UPDATE: Ok, first off: I had a wierd dream 2 nights ago. I found myself in a shopping mall or some place like that. Walked around and got to the food court. There I saw Stan Smith from "American Dad!". I walked up and explained tulpae and Dash. Like went completely in depth with it. Stan, of course, was mesmerized by this information. I don't know what happened after that, but I found myself in bed. I looked at my phone clock and it said 2:39AM. Then I actually woke up. Unaware I was ever in the dream, I looked at the clock and it said 10:00PM. Then I got mega fucking confused and went to go splash water on my face. Funny thing is, before that dream I was lying in bed, narrated facts about me and my life to Dash. Then, in a dream I happen to explain what tulpae and what Dash was. Is it possible she could of manipulated the dream to make it happen? It's also note worthy that I remembered this dream exceptionally well, much more so than usual. She can't talk, so it could be that she wanted to communicate some facts. Who knows. Also, I'm having little problems with visualization lately. When in her usual sitting position, her forelegs just kick up, back in forth. It's hard to control, but when in other positions her body just...has spasms. It's wierd. It may be from her attempting early signs of movement... Usually though, when I go to bed I visualize moving her from wherever I had her placed and tuck her nicely in bed. I set on the edge of the bed for a couple of minutes narrating. Then I slip in to her bed with her and hold her. Then I visualize myself closing my eyes and sleeping. It actually makes me a little more tired. I just let my thoughts wander, but I comment about how I feel about these thoughts. I call it "scattered narration", as it tends to take me to wierd places (like youtube related videos, whats up with that?). So I just comment on how I feel and stuff. It works, and it spans good amounts of time. Also, I find watching horror movies with Dash while narrating to cover great time. Sometime this week I plan to watch "Batman Begins","The Dark Knight","High Tension", and "Saw 4". Should provide great amount of narration material. That is all. Oh, wait. I forgot. I've been narrating like a motherfucker for the last couple days.
Sorryman54 August 2, 2012 Author August 2, 2012 Success! You have secured the enemy intelligence! Took 50mg of Benedryl and laid down to relax. It was pretty successful. I focused for 30 minutes uninterupted. I did what SolEvil suggested, and made a ball of emotions and traits. I then went over to her and forced it (gently) into her chest. I didn't get a wierd emotion on her face, but I did get some wierd ass feelings in my chest. They were sharp feelings in them. Like when when you breathe and you feel a spike in your breath? It was that. It is also noteworthy that I got headaches that surpassed the headache-reducing power of Benadryl. That's something. After doing that, I was unable to focus on anything, so I picked her up and tucked her into my bed, and kissed her goodnight. That was a interesting experience. I'm hoping to provoke movement out of her, so I'll have to keep trying. Everyone's different I suppose. She'll get there soon.
Sorryman54 August 3, 2012 Author August 3, 2012 Just finished a 20 minute session. It was all I could muster, as I'm horribly tired. I did some stuff like inserting emotions, showing her around some areas, making a monument for her, stuff like that. I told her my feelings about her, and it got emotional real fast. It has not done this in the past. I actually shed a tear. Yeah. And got chills all over my body, and in particular my left shoulder. I finished up, tucked her in, and kissed her goodnight. Her movements are...more erratic. She moves specific body parts rapidly. I think she is beginning to start movement (yay!). Her jaw started clamping up and down. So I stuck my finger where the jaw line is. She was trying to stop from biting down I guess, as the jaw started shaking as if to slow, so I used my mindpower to help slow her brakes. Has this happened to anyone? This erratic movement? Is it the beginning of movement?
Sorryman54 August 3, 2012 Author August 3, 2012 I've been informed that the erratic behavior is indeed early movement!. I'm so motherfucking happy!
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