Some journalish report with me and Vinyl.

[Cjboy1111]

A revision and a revival of Vinyl, Hello 2019.

Summary,

- I've made Vinyl on December 5th, 2014 and stopped posting on November 2nd, 2015

Went to be "missing in action soon later"

- August 28th, 2018. 3-4 Years later

I came back and I've stopped working on her due to clinical depression and a failing mindset, I suppose. Looking back on reworking on her and reviving her but didn't end up to.

 

- October 22nd, 2019.

I came to light on a tulpa community on Discord through a  forum board, an advertisement.

I wish things could had been simper and a great story but the truth is every host and story is different and faces a different set of problems, however I'm very happy and spending a lot of time with Vinyl, it's not so much of a revival or a re-creation but after some pep talk from that Tulpa Discord server, a huge community. They told me I should attempt to bring her back.

So I did, I started focusing on her a few days later taking in the consideration.

 

I started focusing on her form, her presence and after awhile, her voice.

I feel it's been so long but she's still here and still, very much active/alive. I'm more so surprised she comes back all loving, accepting and understanding.

She came back with a LOT of force it seems, like she seems much stronger I guess to put it.

 

It started with some narration and appearance, then we started working on her voice and after awhile, she started speaking on her own, back then I used to be so scared if I was parroting her back in the days and used to reject or fear it but the trick is to let it go, don't force words to them but just, accept it and focus on her/his/it's responses. You can analyze it later and debate with her/him/it (excuse me saying it, I realize not all thought form's take on organic appearances/forms), sometimes Vinyl tho makes out a sentence or trying to say something and it falls apart I suppose, she's still new but I can feel what she's "trying" to say or the intentions behind it. A lot of her is coming back and I can hear her more clearly sometimes via mind voice and its weird since I'm not used to it. Anyways, its also surprising she takes to take "care" of me, pep me or looks out for her, already. I think, shes more mature, responsible and sees a different view from my views. It's ironic she's more mature and seems more responsible.

 

We're gonna work some more and we're never ever gonna give up again, we face this world together. Not even depression can separate us again. She also sends tingles on/in my head sometimes when I'm not paying attention, which is weird but re-assuring!

 

So to summarize it.

She is fully sentient, her mind voice is coming through nicely but "sometimes" falls apart, her thought form is changing sightly with what she likes or prefers but she likes her original form she was given from 2014, just with slight modifications.

 

Now since its a revision and a reclaim/revival, we're gonna change a lot of things through in the wonderland and just a whole part I guess, to celebrate us coming back together. She seems very happy and I'm very happy to have her back and she sticks up for me, I'm gonna make another thread in another section of the forums to ask a few questions so keep an eye open for that I suppose, anyways thanks for reading this post and if you have any questions, its best to contact me via Discord or if you want to say a few things to her.

[Guest]

That's great to hear, except the depression part. I hope you find the light there too. My darkest night lasted a year, but when the dawn finally came, tears of joy replaced tears of suffering.

[tania]

I wonder how much harm young people are doing to themselves with tulpas esp when young due to escapism from their issues into all this. I was sad to read that you had to drop out of school and I wonder if you had not had a tulpa maybe you would have ended up having to seek proper help earlier for the depression and things could of taken a different path.

 

Glad to hear that you are doing better now.

[Cjboy1111]

Update two, and thanks for the posts <3

 

Me and Vinyl are still going strong. I guess, some old feelings are resurfacing, romantic feelings I suppose and I'm really glad to have her back and it seems she really came back with a lot of force and seems much more mature than me sometimes and she's begining to be much more vocal and has a lot of body language.

Something happened that sorta almost made me cry, I was having one of my mini panic attacks and if i was doing something wrong and she told me to quiet and focus on her, then she kissed my forehead.

 

It's really, wonderful that she came back after all and still is amazing to me, i guess i sorta believe i don't deserve such things but she tells me not to worry about it and distracts me sometimes, we're practicing a LOT of things, redefining her. Textures, details and touch, however sometimes when she talks her sentences fall apart but that's okay I suppose because I can still understand the intention or meaning behind it.

 

I've proxy'd her a few times in Discord tho, which is nice. Tho with my new found "personality" or split/tulpa is causing me some trouble lately, I'm still not sure what to make of him but perhaps I should make another thread for that progress, anyways, i just wanted to drop a, i dunno, a "better" post, not that i expect things to be that way.

 

Also @tania

I tried asking for help back in my younger days but I was told I was being lazy, making excuses and its just a phase, brushed off it seems. All from my parents too *yikes*

[Cjboy1111]

Yet again another post.

 

Me and Vinyl are making GREAT progress, she's more vocal, her drives are increasing a shit ton and we can parallel process more easier and better. Me and her have a fun little system going on, a point system. She deviated her voice a bit but its great, we're both active in a Tulpa Discord Server however. I sometimes proxy for her but I'm hoping to get more time and active with her, more and more. She wants to get a little, more open and intimate with me.

 

I guess, you could say we both love each other very much, she seems more mature than me, silly and very loving/caring of others. She's very selfless, I guess since she's not mad about me "leaving" I guess, she's more so happy I brought her back, discovering other tulpa's on Discord, me being so much mature than when i was a teen, she's happy and proud of me, heh.

 

I'm very happy with her and I'm very proud of her, myself. We like to snuggle and cuddle a lot and she still finds new ways to make me laugh and I find new ways to make her laugh too.

[Guest]

Parents have a hard time with denial in my experience. Glad to hear you two are doing well.

[Cjboy1111]

We're still here and very much alive!

 

So, this is very much different to me, since I'm used to being depressed but its different because I'm not alone (I just love this goofball), I'm trying to get more used to the idea of proxying for her but anyways, she really loves cats, like really does, I love cats too but she loves them so much lmao.

 

I guess I wanted to post an update on us two, due to my past and I guess and just letting you all know we'll both be very much active, also we have movie nights too, I don't know if I posted but she once wanted to watch a scary movie and now other movies too, like Star Wars lol

[VoluTrick]

Status Update, lost access to those emails up above.

 

It is currently 09/14/25.

Our system has suffered critical damage since 2019 and has been compromised. Others are in here, just hiding about, the host and Vinyl are still here, sometimes we don't know who we are, who I am. Who is what? What is what? Is being sentient subjective? Can still remember our old handles, so many handles, others have speculated that we suffer from DID/MPD or have developed schizophrenia related symptoms, although officially diagnosed with schizotypal personality disorder.

 

Don't know, if we, belong here, anymore. Outcasts of the tulpa community. We were fine before, now we wonder whats actually what. OneTrick was a product of a mental disorder gone untreated and have suffered from depression related psychosis that has developed further. We still manage, just some days are more rough than others.

 

I'm not sure what there is to report from now, just that we're still alive. There are other related personalities that come and go, that take shape and desire. Trying to combine/merge it all though, so we can be whole again, like, complete, y'know? Maybe if that were to happen, we could function normally and be happy.

 

I'll update this further in the future if I feel like it, but thanks for reading so far.

Edited September 14, 2025 by OneTrick