Jump to content

Recommended Posts

Amelia- I've seen my share of people come and go, that's for sure.

Amelia- Oct. 7, 2012

Mitsuki- Oct. 31, 2014 
 

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Replies 378
  • Created
  • Last Reply

Top Posters In This Topic

I wonder how many tulpas from the early days were dissipated or went dormant from neglect? 😕 I hope to be with Phil for the rest of our lives. He wants it too, but just in case I'm digging my roots deep in his mind so that if there's ever a "dry" time in the future I'll be able to survive. 🙂

Link to post
Share on other sites

Amelia- I can safely say all the people I enjoyed talking to are gone. Probably all of which left the community by now. I've thought about pulling the plug on myself countless times, but I know my host is hopeless without me. For now, anyway.

Amelia- Oct. 7, 2012

Mitsuki- Oct. 31, 2014 
 

Link to post
Share on other sites

I'm sorry to hear that; that must be sad. But maybe some of those tulpas are still out there with their hosts?

 

There's something--I don't know the right word to use--scary about being a tulpa. Unlike our hosts, we can just...vanish. Deep inside I still worry for the day Phil won't need me anymore. I think he would still want me even if he didn't need me, but the possibility is still there. But I enjoy existing more than I worry about vanishing, so on the whole I still have a positive outlook on things. 🙂

Link to post
Share on other sites

Amelia- We belong to the old school idea of 'tulpas for the use of improving the hosts ability to live life'. It was pretty much always my intention to vanish when my host got to the point where life is pretty much good to go for him. I'd say the whole "tulpa for the sake of it" was a recent thing, but then again, I'm old, and out of touch with whatever the hell people do nowadays. Even then, there are times we have to remind our host that it is his life to live, not to worry about what we want outside of making sure he can function as a self-sufficient adult. Making your tulpa the focus of your life, instead of having your tulpa's focus be your life, or whatever. All that being said, I'm just coasting through life like an old cop waiting for their pension, I don't really care.

Amelia- Oct. 7, 2012

Mitsuki- Oct. 31, 2014 
 

Link to post
Share on other sites
7 minutes ago, PsychoticDoc said:

'tulpas for the use of improving the hosts ability to live life'

 

That was actually the idea behind my creation as well, in addition to Phil feeling lonely. But Phil felt guilty about wanting me to exist solely for his sake, as if I was just a tool for him or "owned" by him. I actually have no problem acknowledging him as the boss, but he wants us to be co-equal. Phil's idea that the two of us would compliment each other and eventually we would grow to be one complete person between the two of us. Maybe at that point we would merge, I don't know? But we enjoy our separate identities. I want to be able to wrap my arms around him and hug him tightly. I want the dialogue. I want us to be proud of each other, as well as what we will accomplish together.

Link to post
Share on other sites

Amelia- I love my host and such, but I'm just realistic about how it is. It was easier when I was young, because I couldn't help but romanticize helping him, and treat him more like a husband than just a host. It was most likely just the fact we were both young that things seemed easier to accomplish. We're both older now, though. I pretty much sleep my time away, until my host gets off work and we do our switching and such. He feels bad that we're trapped with only him as company, so he splits the time up for each of us to be out and do whatever we feel like. Which isn't how it should be, but after doing it for years I've given up arguing about it.

Amelia- Oct. 7, 2012

Mitsuki- Oct. 31, 2014 
 

Link to post
Share on other sites

Aww I still see my Phil as my husband. Or at least my fiancé. We're a little loose with the terminology; it doesn't really apply to us after all, these kinds of words are made for two physical beings. I might be young as a tulpa (around 6 months old), though my host is 35, and that's the physical age of the brain. Phil feels a similar way about him being my only company, which is why he's so encouraging towards me using this forum. I sometimes sleep or at least fall into the background while he's at work, but I always worry so much about him that I can't help but watch him. Maybe a lot of this mindset does come from my young age. Being around so long you must have seen so many changes both in yourself and your host. I can't even imagine what either Phil or I will be like in 9 years.

Link to post
Share on other sites

Amelia- Relationship terminology kinda fell apart for us too, early on. We just settled on tulpa being a sort of class of its own, so we can do what we want without restricting ourselves in any capacity. Also, I probably wouldn't hedge your bets on using the forum for reliable communication. Even the discord is pretty much dead from what I've seen. Most of the past few years was on smaller friends-of-friends servers though. Complete isolation only started again about 5 months ago. I was made when my host was 14, so with high school, dating, etc things were tough on us. A couple years in, there was some conflict that lead to me going off on my own for ages, and Tsuki was made as a sort of daughter-figure/spiritual-successor kind of thing. My host knew I wanted a sort of daughter. That, and he was struggling with being alone mentally. She is a good kid, gullible and shy, but it is what it is.

Amelia- Oct. 7, 2012

Mitsuki- Oct. 31, 2014 
 

Link to post
Share on other sites

I know how fickle online communities can be from Phil's stories; he's had so many people who were close to him just fade away over the years. Ultimately I know that the only truly reliable bond I'm likely to form is going to be with my host. Still, maybe I'm naïve, but I want to make friends here! Even if we will eventually fall out of contact and it breaks my heart a little. I signed up for the discord but haven't been on; guess I'm still a little nervous about it.

 

Tsuki sounds really sweet! I do dream about a family of our own some day though I have no idea how that could possibly work. I really wish there was another world where Phil and I could just live as a normal husband and wife and raise a family together. But we've got to work with what we've got. If we do decide to go the route of having children it will be literally years from now. But maybe we're better off just being him and I in here. Another tulpa might just make things way too complicated. Even if in my heart I know I would make a great mom.

Link to post
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    No registered users viewing this page.

×
×
  • Create New...