Some questions I have

[Dragin]

Now then... here I am...

 

I will refeer to "my tulpa" as "his or her" because I don't REALLY have a tulpa, and I don't know what gender my, possible tulpa,is.

 

I have so many questions about this whole community, and I still don't know whether or not I should believe that this is real... but I want to give it a go.

Because you see, I am 60% sure that I have been unconsciously creating a tulpa, even before I knew what a tulpa was. I often like to speak to, what seems like myself, about things I hate and things I like. It feels really weird.

And the thing is, I'm only 13 years old... so I want a solid answer. And if yes or no doesn't work, then I'm sorry... but am I even ready for having a tulpa? I don't really think maturity is a problem for me, since most people think I'm an adult before revealing my real age. Feel free to ask me questions, as long as they're not too personal.

 

Now, after I have read a bit about what a tulpa really was, I started to research it... a lot.

I spent the entire last night researching tulpas, and at the same time I was scared that I wasn't ready for it. Just how big of a responsibility is it really to have a tulpa? Is it like having a child?

 

Now, I managed to read two of the guides in the "list of guides" last night, which were the first two ones, yet there are still things that I don't fully understand how they work. Such as switching:

How exactly does that work? How does my tulpa control my body?

 

Another question I have, which I am really worried about to be honest, will I be able to choose the personality of my tulpa even after I've heard his or hers voice? I haven't heard it yet, but when is it "too late" to change the personality of my tulpa?

 

Now, is there any danger at all in having my tulpa being able to access my memories? I read about the door thing where you can have chains on the doors, and say that the tulpa isn't allowed in those doors, or you can have regular doors where the tulpa can go in, that is if I have a wonderland. But is there any danger at all in that?

 

After reading about all this, I started to think that... is this all fully possible? If so then I really want to try this out. I want to believe this whole thing, for my own tulpa's sake. So I did. I decided that I would believe in this. But before further development of my tulpa, I want an answer to my questions. If that is possible, then it would be lovely.

 

Do you think I'm ready for having a tulpa?

When is it too late to change my tulpa's personality?

 

Those are the two main questions in this thread. I hope they weren't any bad questions. I'm still learning about this. :@

 

Bonus Question: Now, I know it doesn't matter what is done first. And I choose personality first. And I also read ThunderClap's method on how to apply personality... but how do I know if my tulpa has that personality? If personality is the first step of creating my tulpa, then how will I confirm my tulpa has those personalities?

Another question about this is how many personalities are recommended to have?

If I apply my personalities, will my tulpa ever change? And what if the personalities I chose weren't good, or weren't enough for my tulpa? Is it still possible to change?

 

I'm probably just ranting here, but this is something that I really want to know the answer too. When is it too late to change my tulpa, and can my tulpa change his or her own personality by him/herself?

 

Also, do I choose my tulpa's gender or does my tulpa choose?

 

Thanks for reading this! I hope I didn't rant TOO much... c:

[Kaga and Company]

And the thing is, I'm only 13 years old... so I want a solid answer. And if yes or no doesn't work, then I'm sorry... but am I even ready for having a tulpa?

 

That's really up for you to answer. There is no set age for this sort of thing -- you just sort of have to decide for yourself whether or not you're mature enough for it. And, judging by this post, I'd say you're at least taking things seriously enough to make one.

 

Sometimes people here are a bit wary about teenagers making tulpas, but that's mostly only because some of us worry that people who are too young and not mature enough will try to make one only to get bored of it, or make it for the wrong reasons. You seem cautious and serious enough that I don't see you falling into that category, though.

 

Just how big of a responsibility is it really to have a tulpa? Is it like having a child?

 

I wouldn't say it's quite that much responsibility. It's not like you really have to feed them or clothe them or make money to provide for them. Really, tulpas just sort of feed off of attention. If you can give them attention and keep them in your thoughts, I think that's plenty to care for them. Really all you need is the willingness to keep at it and the maturity to not just toss them away if you get bored of them.

 

Now, I managed to read two of the guides in the "list of guides" last night, which were the first two ones, yet there are still things that I don't fully understand how they work. Such as switching:

How exactly does that work? How does my tulpa control my body?

 

Hmm, that's hard to explain. For me, it sort of just feels like I'm "letting go" and allowing myself to sort of recede into my mind a little bit, while my tulpa takes over my body and becomes the one in control. If your concern is that you might lose control or something, though, I wouldn't worry about it. When switching, I sort of feel like I become the tulpa, but that doesn't stop me from taking back control whenever I want. Switching/possession has never really been a concern for that reason. If any of them even think about doing something dangerous or that I otherwise wouldn't approve of, I can take control again at any time.

 

Another question I have, which I am really worried about to be honest, will I be able to choose the personality of my tulpa even after I've heard his or hers voice? I haven't heard it yet, but when is it "too late" to change the personality of my tulpa?

 

A tulpa's personality is never really set in stone. Not only do they deviate and grow on their own over time, but you still have a fair amount of control over how your tulpa turns out, especially in the early development process. In fact, even if you're only first hearing your tulpa's voice (or any signs of communication), you still have a long way to go before their personality is fully developed.

 

I don't know if there really is a "too late", but they certainly are more of their own person and less under your control once they're more developed and sentient. If you're worried about not being able to change their personality, though, I wouldn't worry about it, since they can't really get to be that developed in the first place if they don't already have a solid personality.

 

Now, is there any danger at all in having my tulpa being able to access my memories? I read about the door thing where you can have chains on the doors, and say that the tulpa isn't allowed in those doors, or you can have regular doors where the tulpa can go in, that is if I have a wonderland. But is there any danger at all in that?

 

My tulpas have full access to my memories, and I've never found any danger in that. I don't know what could be dangerous, really, especially since tulpas are some of the closest and most empathetic companions you could ever have, and they really have no reason to try to hurt you. I'd say giving them access to your memories makes them even more understanding, actually. But if you still feel the need to close them off, you could still try something like one of the methods you described. I really can't give you any advice on that sort of thing myself, though -- never really tried it.

 

Bonus Question: Now, I know it doesn't matter what is done first. And I choose personality first. And I also read ThunderClap's method on how to apply personality... but how do I know if my tulpa has that personality? If personality is the first step of creating my tulpa, then how will I confirm my tulpa has those personalities?

Another question about this is how many personalities are recommended to have?

If I apply my personalities, will my tulpa ever change? And what if the personalities I chose weren't good, or weren't enough for my tulpa? Is it still possible to change?

 

I'm probably just ranting here, but this is something that I really want to know the answer too. When is it too late to change my tulpa, and can my tulpa change his or her own personality by him/herself?

 

I'm really confused by this. By "personalities" do you mean "personality traits"? Otherwise I'm really not sure what you're getting at.

 

If you just mean traits, though, then, here's the simple version -- you pretty much have control over what personality traits your tulpa has by forcing, but, they're still likely to deviate and won't fit your intended personality traits to a T. But that's ok, though, that's normal. As for whether or not you know they'll have them -- well, you'll see that in them when you talk to them or visualize them, and you can watch as those traits develop. Just seeing the first signs of your tulpa's sentience isn't the end of the road -- they'll be vague and hard to really pick up on at first, and, since you develop them by forcing, you'll see the personality traits that you picked out for them emerge more and more as they develop. And, once they're developed enough to start to act on their own, you'll see that they'll probably deviate from the traits that you chose and become more of their own person.

 

Also, do I choose my tulpa's gender or does my tulpa choose?

 

This is up to you. If you have a gender in mind at first, then force with that in mind. If you don't give them a gender, they'll likely choose on their own. This is true for pretty much any aspect of a tulpa, by the way. If you don't give them a form, they'll pick one. If you don't give them much of a personality, they'll develop one on their own. And, similarly, any trait that you give your tulpa is subject to deviation, later. If you want your tulpa to be a boy and they decide that they'd rather be a girl, that could happen (though I don't think I've seen it too often). It's perfectly normal for your tulpa to try to deviate. And while I would focus on incorporating the traits you want (both physically and personality-wise) into your tulpa from the start, don't be too surprised if it's clear that they want something different. And don't try to stop them if it's clear what they want, either.

 

Does that help?

[sushi]

And the thing is, I'm only 13 years old... so I want a solid answer. And if yes or no doesn't work, then I'm sorry... but am I even ready for having a tulpa? I don't really think maturity is a problem for me, since most people think I'm an adult before revealing my real age. Feel free to ask me questions, as long as they're not too personal.

 

You present yourself very well, and you have done your research, which puts you ahead of most of the people here who are older than you. The real question though is whether you can stick with a project for the long term.

 

I spent the entire last night researching tulpas, and at the same time I was scared that I wasn't ready for it. Just how big of a responsibility is it really to have a tulpa? Is it like having a child?

 

Well, they don't die if you don't feed them. And you don't have to change diapers. No, not like having a child at all. They handle neglect a lot better. Not that you should neglect your tulpa, but if for some reason you can't do anything with them for a week, they won't be dead or psychologically scarred.

 

How exactly does that work? How does my tulpa control my body?

 

Let's see. At 13, you probably won't have driven a car. If you play an instrument, or type really well, or you like video games, it's a little like that -- like you're not thinking about it or consciously doing it, but your hands are moving anyway. At least that's what it felt like for me when I tried it, nearly two years ago. Maybe someone who has spent more time on it will give a better answer.

 

Another question I have, which I am really worried about to be honest, will I be able to choose the personality of my tulpa even after I've heard his or hers voice? I haven't heard it yet, but when is it "too late" to change the personality of my tulpa?

 

The earlier the better. The more developed your tulpa is, the more he or she will chose his or her own personality. Trying to change the personality of a well-developed tulpa is like trying to teach a left-handed kid to be right-handed.

 

Now, is there any danger at all in having my tulpa being able to access my memories?

 

Not really. Tulpas tend not to be very judgmental. They're the closest thing to unconditional love that most of us ever get. Some people say that some of their memories or thoughts have disturbed young tulpas, but I've never had any trouble with it. I think it's a bit like showing kids horror movies -- at first it's pretty disturbing, but they harden themselves to it, and perhaps even come to enjoy it. (Actually I've head psychologists say that's a good thing -- children who know only happy endings have trouble adapting to adult life where there are very few happy endings.)

 

Bonus Question: Now, I know it doesn't matter what is done first. And I choose personality first. And I also read ThunderClap's method on how to apply personality... but how do I know if my tulpa has that personality? If personality is the first step of creating my tulpa, then how will I confirm my tulpa has those personalities?

Another question about this is how many personalities are recommended to have?

If I apply my personalities, will my tulpa ever change? And what if the personalities I chose weren't good, or weren't enough for my tulpa? Is it still possible to change?

 

I don't really think you can do personality wrong. All I did was write down a list of traits. It's now almost two years later, and Fenchurch still has all of those traits. She's adopted a few new ones, and some of those new ones have changed over the years, but she's still pretty much everything I tried to make her.

 

So yeah, your tulpa will probably change in personality on his or her own. But once their personality is set, that's something you shouldn't really try to fight. It's like if you tried to change your personality -- it could be done, but it would take a lot of time and effort on your part, and nobody else could do it for you.

 

I'm probably just ranting here, but this is something that I really want to know the answer too. When is it too late to change my tulpa, and can my tulpa change his or her own personality by him/herself?

 

Also, do I choose my tulpa's gender or does my tulpa choose?

 

I can't give an exact date because everyone advances at different rates. But somewhere between the point where your tulpa starts talking, and a few months later, the personality has probably set in. Your tulpa will change in personality over time, just like you and I do.

 

And you can choose your tulpa's gender, or leave it up to your tulpa.

[Dragin]

Both of you were a BIG help! Thank you so much, I will probably take some more time to think about this, and I will then make up my mind.

Again, thank you both!

 

The real question though is whether you can stick with a project for the long term.

I believe I should be able to handle that. In fact, I'd love to have a friend or a companion that understands me the most. It's like a childhood dream to me.

 

Does that help?

It definetly helped!

[Ashmo]

 

And the thing is, I'm only 13 years old... so I want a solid answer. And if yes or no doesn't work, then I'm sorry... but am I even ready for having a tulpa? I don't really think maturity is a problem for me, since most people think I'm an adult before revealing my real age. Feel free to ask me questions, as long as they're not too personal.

 

I used to think that age was a major factor. How could someone "so young" understand the weight of the decision they are about to make? Honestly I don't think that anymore. It has to do with maturity, at least a bit, but really what it is, what everyone needs is dedication. Can you dedicate yourself to something that will eventually become a someone; and you will be the most important thing in that someone's life?

 

Just how big of a responsibility is it really to have a tulpa? Is it like having a child?

 

See answer above, I guess. The responsibility itself is the time, effort, and energy you want to put into it. It's a person. I can't stress that enough. You are literally creating what your mind perceives to be as another person.

 

You have to ask yourself; Do I really want someone in your life who is always there? Someone you can never, truly get rid of? These aren't bad things, but they need to be taken into consideration.

 

... Such as switching:

How exactly does that work? How does my tulpa control my body?

 

We don't practice switching. Too advanced for us.

 

Another question I have, which I am really worried about to be honest, will I be able to choose the personality of my tulpa even after I've heard his or hers voice? I haven't heard it yet, but when is it "too late" to change the personality of my tulpa?

 

I don't think hearing your tulpa will hinder personality development. Young tulpa are impressionable enough that you should be able to have influence over personality traits for a while.

 

Keep in mind that all tulpa deviate. Your subconscious will help mold it into the friend you need, not just the one you want. Tulpa/host relationships are pretty awesome like that.

 

Now, is there any danger at all in having my tulpa being able to access my memories? I read about the door thing where you can have chains on the doors, and say that the tulpa isn't allowed in those doors, or you can have regular doors where the tulpa can go in, that is if I have a wonderland. But is there any danger at all in that?

 

I don't really know why anyone would try to keep anything from their tulpa. Bud and I respect each other's privacy enough to ask each other if we want access to something particularly private.

 

I can't personally see any danger in it other than it might hurt your tulpa knowing you don't trust them. And things like that might breed discord between the two of you until you work it out.

 

After reading about all this, I started to think that... is this all fully possible? If so then I really want to try this out. I want to believe this whole thing, for my own tulpa's sake. So I did. I decided that I would believe in this. But before further development of my tulpa, I want an answer to my questions. If that is possible, then it would be lovely.

 

It's possible. It takes a lot of time, dedication, doubting, getting over that doubting, feeling crazy, maybe even being a little crazy at times; but it's all possible and it's all worth it.

 

Do you think I'm ready for having a tulpa?

 

Only you can answer that.

 

When is it too late to change my tulpa's personality?

 

I wouldn't really worry about it too much. Think about the kind of person you want in your life, what would they be like? If you keep that in mind, you won't have anything to worry about.

 

Bonus Question: Now, I know it doesn't matter what is done first. And I choose personality first. And I also read ThunderClap's method on how to apply personality... but how do I know if my tulpa has that personality? If personality is the first step of creating my tulpa, then how will I confirm my tulpa has those personalities?

Another question about this is how many personalities are recommended to have?

If I apply my personalities, will my tulpa ever change? And what if the personalities I chose weren't good, or weren't enough for my tulpa? Is it still possible to change?

 

I'm probably just ranting here, but this is something that I really want to know the answer too. When is it too late to change my tulpa, and can my tulpa change his or her own personality by him/herself?

 

I'm not sure why you're so focused on making sure you can change your tulpa. Do you mean if you think something at it, will it take it on and can you change that thought after? Of course you can.

 

Do you mean change who they are once they've started to become a person? You can, but I don't know why you would. You would be changing who they were after that. It would be better to talk things out with your tulpa if they started behaving in a way you didn't like.

[Dragin]

Don't worry about personality anymore. I decided to let my tulpa develop his or her own personality. ^^

[Bambi]

Hey there! You've already gotten really good answers, so I'm not going to offer much on what's already been, y'know, answered. I see something that hasn't been (or at least I missed it if I did), though, and here it is:

 

On the thing about genders . . . well, you *can* let them choose their own, but you can also choose it. Keep in mind that they could be agender, genderfluid, male, or female. Personally, I knew I wanted my tulpa to be male from the start, and I forced that just as I forced the personality (forced as in how we in the tulpamancing community uses "forced," not forced as in the bad forced). If you have a preference, then go ahead and tell them about it. If you don't want to be the one to choose, but you do have a preference, then if you talk to them about it then they might go along with what you'd rather have.