Cacao's Thread for Tulpa Related Discussions

[Nevermore]

Well the mind is a fickle thing, so there is always a chance of parroting, but if you really think it is her I would go with the gut feeling. Arya tells me the most important thing to do is to make sure you "Believe" in your tulpa, even at the risk of some parroting.

[Sands]

I used this method very early on and still do if I am unsure of his gestures or if things become blurry. Don't know about you, but the weird throbbing feeling my tulpa does is something I can't really make myself, so to me that's a good way to not parrot and actually trust what they are saying. Can you make the feelings yourself if you tried very hard?

[Nevermore]

I do sometimes rely on the throbs, or tulpafeels as some people call them. They do seem pretty reliable, so if that is what works for you go with it. Usually when we are talking, I try to pay attention to if I am getting tulpafeels at the same time.

 

I think it would take a good amount of work to mimic tulpafeels, but I guess it could happen.

[Cacao]

I've been trying to emulate the tulpafeels, and I can't force them myself. When I try I get sort of a numb feeling where there would be pressure, and in one instance I told my Tulpa I'd be trying to force the pressure in my left side, and after a few moments of intense effort to no avail, she started to feed some pressure to my right side with a bit of a smirk

 

So I'm pretty sure I'm not parroting at this point. Thanks for the advice guys!

 

I feel like the next step forward is to work on speech(?) So I'll be doing some research around here for just how to be proactive in that area. So far, all I can think to do is give her a lot of attention while I'm talking to her to try to feel out thoughts, as there hasn't been any vocal sounds made yet. Will report back with results.

[Sands]

It's great when you can believe. Once you're able to tell your tulpa to give you the feelings, you can use them for yes or no questions at least. I guess today I noticed how great that was when filling one of those personality tests for him. Painful for me, but it works.

 

Encouraging and working on getting vocal is great and all, but I feel like I always have to tell people not to force them to move too fast based on my own experiences. I did something I thought that helped and that was the first time I saw him in pain. And I'm sure none of us want tulpas to suffer. Be sure to always look at how they react before you do something stupid you think helps but is just too much for them.

[Cacao]

Thanks Sands, that's some great advice.

 

I have noticed that when I get off on a tangent with asking too many questions, my Tulpa's ability to send strong signals weakens. Possibly it's just my ability to consistently read her signals that wanes, but I've taken it as a sign to back off. I always apologize for rushing and slow things down for a while until I feel we're both ready to continue.

 

Also, I think I'll be working up to taking a personality test too, just as soon as I think I can handle it ha ha.

[Cacao]

Much needed progress report begin:

 

Ok, so I've been neglecting to update for the past week so that my next post would have some results. I think today I can deliver that.

 

Our abilities with head pressures are developing at a wonderful rate; What was at first meek pressures for only a few yes/no questions is now an almost constant presence in my mind, and we are more capable of long bouts of nonverbal communication with it. The strict yes/no system has given way to a more expressive structure, with degrees of forward/back and up/down pressures being used to create more "meaning" to the responses. The responses I get in this manner rarely feel like just a "yes or "no" anymore. I'm taking this as progress.

 

Possession is another area we've been working in, at least for the past couple of days, and so far no huge leaps in understanding. While only slight wiggles and such have been achieved thus far, I'm very confident that we're laying a solid groundwork to continue to build on though. I do get the sense that we are close to a breakthrough in this area within the next few days and I'll be sure to update when it happens. The problem we're having is my inability to fully relinquish control on the subconscious level. As soon as my tulpa starts to really pull, such as on a finger, I get this kind of tug-of-war where my subc won't fully let go. It creates a sensation of tension along with tingling and numbness back and forth. As I get this feeling I'll sometimes test her hold by trying to twitch my hand or individual fingers and most of the time it takes extreme effort to move until some kind of barrier is broken, after which I have full control again. Again I see this as progress.

 

Oh, almost forgot. Her favorite color's white. (mine's blue)

 

Quick update:

Something very strange just happened. I have been talking with my Tulpa lately about other forms of communication, trying to work our way up to verbal contact. Just now, while thinking about that subject I started to daydream, and suddenly every time I inhaled I smelled a distinct "Mr. Sketch" scented marker one at a time until I had one whiff of each. I smelled blueberry, cherry, cinnamon (never like cinnamon), licorice, the whole lot of them.

 

Is this at all within the realm of a Tulpa's abilities, or some totally unrelated incident?

[Cacao]

New progress report.../

 

Begin.../

 

So things are going pretty well lately, a few hiccups, a few leaps. Progress-wise, the biggest development is the muffled whisper-like voice I can sometimes hear. It is still far too vague to interpret, but I'm also receiving more emotional responses, and those are getting much easier to interpret. Also, I'm finally able to feel Ms Tulpie's presence pretty much 24/7. She is always the first thing I think of in the morning, because frankly it would be hard to ignore her at this point, even in a half awake stupor. I see this as good progress.

 

I do have a question though, for anyone who wants to answer:

 

When I try to visualize my Tulpa's face, sometimes it will mimic my facial expressions. The way I first noticed this was when I was focusing especially intently on her face, and her expression suddenly took on the same look I had: scrunched eyebrows, slightly down-turned lips, etc. When this happened, it surprised me and made me smile. At the same time, my Tulpa's frown lit up into a big smile. It wasn't an exact mirror of my smile though, rather it was her version of a big grin. This has happened several times now, and not always with the exact same expressions.

 

Now I've never had anything move in my mind's eye (wonderland/whatever) of its own volition before now. So my question is: am I simply getting better at visualizing, or could I be seeing my Tulpa, and she's just copying me to make me laugh?

 

[Subroutine]

This 'facial-expression-copying' thing happens to me on occasion. I'm not really sure what causes it; maybe it's just you having a strong awareness of the look on your face, and that bleeds over into your visualization.

[Cacao]

I'm finally back! After over a year's hiatus (from the site, not tulpaforcing), I've finally got the time to return.

 

This update will be short, as I want to read up on what's been going on before I go into any detail about this past year. I will say, though, that I have two fully sentient Tulpa now, Cassandra and Isabel (Cassie and Issie).

 

Cassie is the tulpa I've spoken of before. She chose her name somewhere around late September 2012. Issie spontaneously appeared fully vocal one night in early 2013, and at that time she went by the name Edward. (she insists it isn't because of Cowboy Bebop, mhmm)

 

Anyway, life has been chaotic for us lately, and tulpaforcing has sadly taken a backseat in my life. Cassie and I speak pretty much all day every day, and Issie has chosen to fall into a more quiet role of observer. We still talk, but much less frequently than I'd prefer.

 

The big issues we're facing as of now are:

1. My visualization skills, while already atrocious to start with, have almost completely disappeared. It's gotten so bad that Cassie can't even see wonderland anymore unless I'm there too. She told me it just started to disappear for her as well because she never went there without me (she says this is because nothing ever happens there when I'm not around.)

 

2. Because of a rather mentally demanding year, the other problem we face is Cassie's independence. It seems that when my mind gets bogged down, Cassie will step in and, for lack of a better word, merge with me. She contributes her ability to me, in order to better address my shortcomings. This situation has compounded for a number of months, with Cassie becoming a sort of shadow to me. She still has a unique personality and all that, but she just sort of goes with whatever I'm doing. As such, this is the area of our life that needs the most improvement. I really want Cassie to think of herself before me and do what she wants, but she's told me on several occasions that she doesn't know how to at this point. She says she just sort of forgets about herself sometimes, especially when I'm distracted and not focusing on her.

 

That ended up being longer than I'd anticipated. If anyone reads this, I'd love some advice. I'm sure I'm not the only one who has gone through this, and if nothing else Cassie could really use some interaction with someone other than me.