Should I Start Over? Or Continue Where I Left Off?

[CreamKitty]

I haven't been working on my tulpa (Toby) for a few months since an incident happened where he really scared me and seems to have "left", though for a while now I've been really wanting to work on him again because I feel responsible for him and really bad for not working on him? Though every time I try to work on him I have a really hard time even starting to visualising him, like he's still gone.

 

My question is, should I continue trying to "find" him? Should I try to "remake" him, or should I just work on an entirely new tulpa?

[Guest Anonymous]

I apologize in advance if this comes off as rude, but here is my personal opinion. Please do keep in mind this is merely my opinion, and not absolute reality in any case.

 

The thing is, with tulpas, and well, depending on your personal perception of WHAT a tulpa is (as in, if it's really a sentient being, a more evolved imaginary friend that lives in a wonderland), you can't just leave a tulpa if you get scared off, or if you get lazy (which is the case of many hosts sadly).

 

If you do intend on working on Toby again, keep in mind a few things, and those things are to be kept in mind in all cases, but here is how it goes. Tulpas, even in early stages, have thoughts, emotions and reactions to certain events. You need to keep up with your tulpa even if you do get scared off, and to be blunt with no offense meant, that's not a valid justification for just dropping your tulpa like that, sorry if this came off as offensive. IF something like that does happen, you should look into it, try to understand Toby's intentions and whatnot; my tulpa did a lot of things and I had to look at it waaay deeper to understand the motive of things which turned out to be 100% harmless in my own case.

 

You might as well work on a new tulpa, but I think that working on Toby again, or at least, the concept Toby is, would be the same actually.

[CreamKitty]

Don't worry dude, you didn't come off as rude or offencive at all. I think I will try to make a new tulpa, and i'll try my best to not make the same mistakes that I made with Toby. Thanks a lot for your input!

[Luminesce]

No point in making a new tulpa because you let your old one get inactive. It'll be just as difficult to do either one, and it's just rude to completely forget them. It's your job to get back into it, get them talking, reestablish the connection. And yes, it is normal for this to happen when you don't give them any attention for so long. How they feel about it varies. But generally, you're going to have some regression, and while they should still be themselves they're going to have to "re-learn", or at least get used to, communicating again. Luckily it shouldn't take as long as the first time.

 

To be honest, this happens to my tulpas literally constantly, because I have issues with maintained effort. But it definitely gets easier every time to reestablish our connection. We've gotten to the point where it only takes about 30-60 seconds for them to sound loud and clear again. But it would be optimal if they never had to stop. Will definitely take you longer, but your tulpa isn't "gone forever", the neural pathways are just out of use. Use'em again, strengthen them, keep them active if you can but otherwise it'll get easier and easier.

 

Or you could just not ignore your tulpa for extended periods of time.

 

 

Edit: You can make a new tulpa, if you'd like. But only if you actually want a new one, not because you think your old one is gone forever.