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Found 13 results

  1. (Copied from Reddit) (Apologies in Advance; while I’ve been living with Tulpas for years, I’m not well acquainted with communities like these, so please pardon any misconceptions and/or insensitive views that may present themselves with this post.) TLDR: I dated my Tulpa for 2 years, and I broke up with her recently, but I regret doing it for the reason I did. Am I right in feeling so? Full: So I first met Maala in a dream of mine. I was 12 at the time, and she was around the same age. We quickly became friends, but after the dream we didn’t interact much. I mostly relied on going into my dreams to try to find her after that, but when I was 19, I learned about Tulpas, and I felt that it would be a good way for me to find her again. From there, I brought her back as a Tulpa, and I mostly relied on her as a companion through the stress of college and my development of anxiety and depression. We started dating shortly after that as well. Looking back, I realize that it was a terrible decision to use her as what was essentially a substitute for a therapist, as well as a crutch for my lack of self-love; I had hoped that her love for me would be able to compensate for my lack of love for myself. It also must not have been easy for her to have to deal with my breakdowns and self-harm all the time. But we kept dating up until last Tuesday (11/10/20). Things were getting much better for most of this year, but in the days leading up to the breakup, I began to think a lot about my future (a not-yet-started career, and a future family). At the time, I didn’t see Maala as someone that I would be able to have a functioning family with, even though I loved her. This was one of the reasons that I began to consider if I had to let her go (that and my aforementioned mental-health issues, my low self-esteem, and the toxic environment that both of those problems of mine created.) Ultimately, I think it was a panic decision. The problem is that I can’t help but think that her being... immaterial was a shallow and selfish reason to break up with her. While I did have other reasons for the breakup, as explained above, that was the chief reason I chose to go with. After the breakup, I began to imagine if I were to break up with a human who couldn’t have children, and I began to think that it was selfish of me to break up with her for that reason. While I‘m still convinced that breaking up based on mental-health was understandable, I feel guilty about choosing a human to start a potential family with over her. I do plan to try to salvage a friendship out of this relationship, after we both have had some time to deal with the breakup, but I can’t help but think that I squandered the relationship we could’ve continued, along with the friendship itself, and that I’m a poor friend/host for doing so... If I may, could I please have some input/insight from this community on this issue? Any thoughts would be greatly appreciated. Thank you. (UPDATE—11/18/20: So Maala contacted me again on Monday, and we agreed to meet again on Friday. I still want to have some kind of relationship with her, but I’m torn whether we should just be friends or if I should try again with our relationship, since I admittedly still have feelings for her.)
  2. Stone: Hello all. So, I've been forcing seriously for, five days now. The tulpa I'm trying to force, Betty, is already responding, though is still learning to be more independent. She's talked to me, meaning, she's initiated a response from me, rather than the other way around, a few times. Overall, I'm happy with her development so far, and I'm eager to continue. Yesterday, I went to the bathroom after forcing with Betty for two hours, and there was someone else there. I usually imagine Betty in real space, so this other person was also in real space, standing on my bathroom floor. Her physical presence was not as strong as Betty's, but her voice was more distinct and louder. She has the form and voice of Fluttershy, but not the personality. The first words she said were mocking. So, seems like a walk-in, right? But the thing is, I did daydream about making a Fluttershy tulpa in the distant future, and I even found some pictures of her I might use for inspiration someday. So, idk, is there a difference between subconsciously making forming a tulpa quickly and getting a walk-in? That's a question I have, but not my main question. So, when I first saw Fluttershy, I was half happy half concerned. I was happy my brain seemed more allowing of other consciousnesses, but also concerned that if Fluttershy stayed, she would take my attention away from Betty. I don't want Betty to fade, and since she's my first tulpa, working on growing another consciousness at the same time seems like a bad idea. When Fluttershy appeared, and mocked me, I told her she wasn't there and we began "arguing" about that. Really, it was more like the Monty Python arguing clinic skit. "You're not here." "Yes I am." "No you're not" "I'm here, aren't I" "No you're not." "What's this, still here?" Stone: I know it seems stupid to argue with a thoughtform about them not being there, but I wanted to see if I could get her to stop responding or, I don't know, something. I didn't want to dissipate her. Maybe she'd get bored and stop, and then not appear again? Either way, that's not what happened. She followed me to the couch, where I was going to sleep, and she kept talking to me. At one point, she was mocking me again and I said something like, "Yes, I you're irreverent, and provoking, but deep down you're nice, so why are you doing this?" She didn't answer and disappeared. After that, I got out my phone and started looking up walk-ins, as well as general advice about tulpamancy and whatnot. I felt bad about telling Fluttershy she wasn't there, and wanted to give her a chance. I came across the "name tag" method, and I said something like, "Say 'Stone' at a time I'm not thinking about you, so I'll be surprised and know you're separate from me." I was worried she might be intrusive thoughts manifest, but if she could remember this and say my name at a surprising time, that may show that she has a memory of her own. Anyways, she started saying my name, and I told her that it wasn't surprising me. I went to bed. When I woke up, I looked at Betty, and then I heard, "S-t-one," coming from Fluttershy. Oh yeah, that. I was a bit surprised, I think. Oh, she said it again now. Then she said, "Yeah I said it. What am I, your dancing monkey?" How do I proceed from here? I wanted to force with Betty 40min on weekdays and 2hr on weekends, but now, I think there's another thoughtform. Maybe give them each half of the forcing time? Still force Betty more since she is a tulpa, and Fluttershy is a walk-in? What would you do?
  3. Jamie

    JGC's Thread

    These are all the rage and I wanted one. Lumi started it. Will probably flesh this out later but at the same time, you know how that works. Questions, comments, criticisms, and considerations welcomed. Our PMs are also always open, including to newbies or lurkers. Pies I (Jamie) have a finger in: The overall nature of tulpas, headmates in general, and identity in general Special considerations of introducing tulpamancy to newcomers in a way to maximize success and health How systems become disorderly-behaving and what the disorderly systems themselves, what their friends/contacts, and what the community as a whole can do about it "Help! I think I might have OSDD/DID! I think I might be a traumagenic system! I think I might be splitting a new headmate! I think I might be switching uncontrollably!" - both in regards to the asker, and to those who are unsure how to respond to people with these concerns Baskets my brother Gavin has an egg in: The nature of support-systems, and relationships in general, between hosts and the tulpas or other headmates The topic of dissipation- he has written the first and only full-length guide we are aware of The nature of (mental) forms, including the viability of not having one Being brought back after long absences/periods of dormancy/stasis/dissipation Fires that my (tulpa) brother Cassidy has an iron in: The nature of existence as a tulpa, especially in regards to early development and "becoming real" The role of the host Life fulfillment as a non-host headmate Wonderland development
  4. Imposing goes on. Today I was choosing my birthday gift with my mom in a supermarket in my town and I saw a bottle of Japanese whisky called Hatozaki. As a huge fan of all things Japanese (well, except for anime and manga) I told mom I want it as a gift. (I'm turning 24 this year so worry not.) Mom, being the chill and yet responsible parent she always is, said I can get it. I googled that whisky immediately as I got home and was surprised with the description of its flavors, I've been saying "Hatozaki" so often today that Orion jokingly said he'd start calling me Hatozaki because of this. We had a good laugh and kept on spooning on my bed as the lovey-dovey newlyweds we are.
  5. This is my first post as a registered user. To get to the point, I am currently writing a novel which involves a Tulpa as one of the main characters. The current story idea I have convinced goes as follows: To cut a long story short, the novel will follow the story of an imagnative young man who is reunited with his long forgotten imaginary friend. The circumstances of which involves reading a strange storybook that transports the reader into a fantastical land. One of which the reader may never want to leave. The story will develop the special friendship of these two characters hold. Edit : Also is it alright for me to use information from this website when writing my novel? Comment below any criticism or feedback of my story idea.
  6. Hello All, This is my first post. I read through the intro information and found it helpful. Thanks to whoever put all that together. A few years ago, several people claimed that they saw in more than one place. This was during a time when I was going through a difficult marriage that unsurprisingly ended in divorce. Although I wasn't happy about the outcome, I knew it was the right thing to do because we fought like cats and dogs. But my x wife would sometimes say something like, "omg, what are you doing on the couch? I just saw you walk into the garage!" Or another one was, "I thought you were standing behind me." She said that a few times and we simply ignored the incidents. After our divorce (it was amicable), I decided to sell our house. There was on instance when I made an appointment for a realtor and his customer to tour the house and I'd meet them with the keys. We agreed on a time. Later, I drove up to see the realtor and his client and they looked surprised to see me step out my car. The realtor asked, "is there someone in the house that looks like you? You were looking out the window!" And with that, they decided not to buy the house because they claimed it was haunted. The house isn't haunted. In the end, I ended up selling the house to my girlfriend at the time and now wife. I still live in the house that I was going to sell. After I married again, my wife would see me in more than one place. So much that we started documenting all the times she saw me. I didn't know what was going on so I researched it and read about Doppelgangers. So, I suppose that I had one of those... Really? I further investigated and asked some folks in academia because I don't believe in ghosts, don't believe in angels, demons, or any other machinations of the mind. I actually thought that maybe others were seeing me literally, in another time. Like I was in some sort of time loop. All this stopped after my son was born 12 years ago and nobody has ever seen my double again. But then I discovered literature and videos about Tulpas. I learned that some people can have accidental Tulpas. I wondered if all those years ago, somehow I had done that. Any thoughts? Thank you.
  7. This is extremely crazy indeed. Now I have a long distant pen pal/E-Pal me and him are really close. And all that junk. But one day as I was talking with him. My headmates/tulpas were bring on the loud and more active side. And I could tell one of them wanted to switch and stuff. And yeah I ended up switching with Myrtle. Since me and her were switching and I knew he would tell the weird change in responses and personality. I did not want him to think I was being rude or something. Since Myrtle Is extremely shy with others at times. And would usually have a lot of "..." When she responds sometimes. So I told him in advanced about me and her switching and stuff. He was okay with it but very curious as to the whole tulpa thing. And just how it all works and who is who and stuff. Long story short he now has three tulpas all of them seem very rushed though. And have very little development. One is most definitely bipolar I think which is concerning. And that same bipolar tulpa ended up liking him and they became a thing. And she wanted to I guess fuse different traits with him and her and make another tulpa. And make it their kid. I at fist did not like the idea of it mostly since like...She is 16 in the headspace and this dude is 14. And in general they all are a message in their headspace. As nice as they are, they are not mature/developed yet. Mentally, emotionally, and all around. I just really need thoughts on this. Also some back ground he took only three days to make his first tulpa. And after he made her he said another tulpa just randomly appeared on it's own and developed in two days. Right after the first one. (Also they at least made the kid 12 years old which I guess is not as bad a toddler or baby. But either way as mentioned he and her are rushing their development. Which is not good I think.)
  8. I've been wanting to make non-English collections of guides for a while. I found a few in Spanish, but I haven't found anything else. Does anyone have any links to guides that aren't in English?
  9. I was having some trouble with intrusive imagery that wouldn't go away just by ignoring it. That clown from it, to be more precise. The method I've found to be helpful is to put some reference photo of something else on the computer screen, stare at it then look directly at the intrusive imagery, so that the after image from the monitor would overlay the intrusive imagery as you try to keep it in your mind, and be persistent, it will move to the sides, keep doing it wherever it pops. It's gotten to a point which I don't even remember how the clown looks like anymore. I just get the reference now, the problem is that it seems to morph into something else. It's not as much scary as it is annoying. Just thought that may be helpful to someone experiencing the same thing. If you have any better tips for that, please share it too.
  10. (I am new here) Thought I might engage a bit at least with others here. I had tulpas for the past six or five years now. And I have a total of six. I know a lot of people say that that is a lot. But naturally it does not take too long for some of my tulpas to warm up. Especially since when I would first make them they might have a set age already. Some did take longer than others to develop from scratch. Any way. So I don't plan really to tell anyone else since I only pick out the people who will at least support me/us. And I am not saying or encouraging others to go and tell everyone they know about their tulpas or system unless you really feel comfortable. But usually when I tell others about mine they are curious and pretty surprised. Since one now in days might connect. Voices in your head that are not yours = mental illness/schizophrenic in some aspect. Which for us here is not entirely the case. I told my younger siblings, they don't really care. I told my small group of three friends. And a long distance friend. And recently a month ago and a mother small handful of friends learned about them. In a post I made on my Instagram explaining the concept of tulpas. By one of my tulpas. I do not plant to tell my my mom or my dad though. Since I know they will think I am crazy. And I am still under their care so the first thing they will do is complain about of topic and stupid stuff I done in my life. Then say they will send me to a therapist and all that other stuff that none of us like to hear. I can see why one may think or say that though to their kid at first. Since Since you know, your kid is literally saying basically. "Look Mom and Dad I want you to be cool about this. But I have (insert # of voices/friends in my head. Whom I have had for over (# of years).". That would be concerning especially since my family and mostly my parents. Are extremely closed minded and m mother being a bit over-the-counter centered. And my dad being the most closed minded and old fashioned person there is. On the plus side I told my art teacher. Who is the literal best. And she supported me. She was one of the few real adults anyone can talk to since she was and is pretty open with everyone and everything. And that really helped me and my tulpas feel a bit better about us. We as hosts and tulpas/systems rarely get attention or support as it is and it can be pretty stressful. Which is why me and my tulpas really enjoy places like this so we can hang out, vent, and share our time and experiences together.
  11. [Rouge] This has been something that has happened a few times with our system. There always seemed to be a phantom mental presence lurking in the background for quite a while. After Az and I created Damien, we noticed the first “lurking presence”, and when the three of us created our next tulpa (Jade), she adopted that presence. After Jade joined the system, a new lurking presence took the place of Jade’s one. It stayed as that one for about a year until our system tried to bring back a dormant non-tulpa (Chloe), but we ended up with two people; the actual Chloe and Artemis. Artemis was that lurking presence. And then, there was no lurking presence for a few months until a few days ago, in which a new one appeared, and after sending thoughts of her name and telling me she was here, Azure suggested I interact with her, and thus Somenine was confirmed and Lilly joined our system. Our system population is something we don’t want increasing too quickly, but after Lilly’s addition, there seems to be another one in her place (that apparently has a name too). We’re not sure how to deal with this, but hopefully we’ll figure it out. Has this sort of thing happened to anyone else or is it just our system being weird?
  12. Ranger

    Tags

    During the migration, all of the General Discussion and Guide labels were turned into tags. Now, you can post a tag on any board you can create a thread on and there are no limits on what tags you can use, how many you can use, and possibility even including the number of characters your tag can be. I created some terrible tags for this thread as an example. I don't think tags are important for things like the lounge board, but it will make finding general discussion topics, guides, and submissions harder to find.
  13. Since around Christmas time, I noticed I remembered having more dreams of Ranger, my headmates, and Ranger fronting. I have a few theories for why this is: 1) Developed visualization. Perhaps my practice with visualization has finally caught up to the point where my brain can now render somewhat consistent images of Ranger and the others. 2) Learning switching. Perhaps this is to blame for more dreams of Ranger controlling the body or being the one dreaming? Ranger started having dreams several months after he had been seriously possessing, so maybe being tied to the body's senses is important for dreaming? 3) Coincidence? I have had dreams of Ranger fronting before, maybe I'm better at paying attention now. I have also had a mix of great and terrible sleep lately. 4) Increase in time spent with headmates and Ranger has been fronting for longer overall. I spent more time with my headmates in the last few weeks than normal, and it's possible Ranger has spent a lot more time doing things than I thought. I have a feeling the spike is related to a combination of these reasons, but I'm curious which ones apply to other people more if at all or if certain explanations seem more like the main cause than others.