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  1. so We Have a tulpa that is frOm a fictiOnal source. cronus is based on cronus amPora from homestuck. i knoW tHere are peOple with mlp/pOkemon/anime etc tulPas, and am curious on anyones stance on them, or even if anyone has one. :0)
  2. Hello all, I'm new here and to the concept of tulpas. I had imaginary friends growing up and never knew it could become this complex. I am going to expand a little bit on my experience with imagined beings but for anyone who just wants to see the main issue/question it will be under the heart emoji (❤️). I had an eagle imaginary friend that I only imagined when I was going to sleep as a child who I would tell about my day, and she would fly me to imagined places (basically wonderland/s) until I fell asleep. Even now as an adult I still do the same thing with her if I can't fall asleep. I wouldn't consider her a tulpa since she doesn't talk and only makes eagle sounds, and we do not interact much beyond her listening to me talk and helping me fall asleep before bed. After doing some reading here I guess she could be considered a servitor. I am currently working with a new(ish) tulpa called Yumi. I say she's not exactly new because she is a character I created as a child but never really went further with imagining her as anything else, but I know her very well (I am open to her deviating though in any way she pleases). ❤️ I have been wondering about an accidental tulpa I created in college before I knew of tulpas. I was going through an extreme period of stress (from school) and trauma (from SA and an abusive partner), and I created X as someone who would take the brunt of my stress and bad emotions so I wouldn't have to. I now realize this is an awful thing to do but at the time I didn't know what tulpas were and I didn't realize the severity of doing this. X ended up being extremely angry and harmful. He would self harm and looked at me like I was weak and stupid and that he was the "stronger/better one". I fully acknowledge that this was my fault because of the way I created him. Eventually X gave me a mental breakdown and I had panic attacks everyday for months. I "got rid" of X by telling myself it was all fake and never dared to think of him or give him attention again. Now that I know about tulpas I know for a fact X was one and he was created in a horrible way due to my own selfishness. Is it possible for me to bring him back and mend our relationship or is it better to just accept that I messed up and I basically don't deserve to even have him as my tulpa? Thanks a lot guys.
  3. My tulpa recently got rather intimate with me (not complaining), and we were wondering how we could... mate. Tips and suggestions would be nice. Thx
  4. When we started to look into the possibilities of using tulpamancy to give ourselves unique abilities and skills, one of my ideas was that perhaps a tulpa could be useful to cause a change in chemical production/release. I had Dawn try to manipulate the amount of adrenaline within the body, and we've had mixed results so far. We plan on further experimentation and devising a form of measurement to make sure any supposed change is indeed real. Eventually we want to try this with every major brain and body chemical possible. This made me think though, has anyone else attempted feats similar to this or have knowledge on the subject that could improve our tinkering? I'm no biologist or neuroscientist, and I don't even know the scientific potential for my idea to work, but I figured trying it is the only real way to know for sure. If I make any progress with this project I'll post it here for others to see. In the meantime discuss the possibilities or call me a fool if you believe it impossible.
  5. I have an interesting question that to my current knowledge hasn't been asked yet, how would dementia affect a system? If the host developed dementia I feel like that would cause a massive problem for everyone else aswell since it deteriorates memories and the mind in general.
  6. Lucifer has recently taken on a caregiver role for me (I'm an age regressor) and its gotten to the point whenever we talk I start to regress - has anyone else experience this?
  7. I had this idea circling in my mind regarding the way tulpamancy experiences are being discussed that I wasn't sure how to express. So generally, the things that we experience can be divided into either events that are certain or those that take a specific place on a spectre. A certain event is something that can be easily put into words, like the lack or presence of something (for example lights on/lights off), but there are also things that can't be, due to their nature, conveniently described with words. As an example, take a person who's being asked what the temperature in the room is like. They can say that it was too warm or that it was too cold, which is something most people will usually agree on. But they can also use the expression that the temperature was "pretty average" or "ok", and here's the problem that comes with it. The temperature that the person in question considers to be "ok" or "average" can be very subjective. And I don't mean the subjectivity of an experience, I mean the subjectivity of concept definition. There are words that we use that we don't give much thought, because we tend to assume that their definition is universal. We obviously don't clarify every time wheter our understanding of concepts like "tall" or "wide" match that of a person we talk to. It would simply be too inconvenient, so we instead run with the assumption that our understanding of the concept is the same, deeming it easier to just clarify it should a misunderstanding arise. But I think that this aspect is often being overlooked when people discuss tulpamancy experiences. What I'm getting on here is that possibly a significant portion of doubts that people get to deal with could be attributed to these discrepancies in concepts understanding. Here's an example of what I mean. Imagine a person who's trying to help their headmate achieve vocality. They read a guide or maybe a post that describes vocality as essentially a way of communication where one hears their headmate. They associate those words with their understanding of what hearing is and start practicing. They spend a month, two months, three months consistently practicing, and they do achieve certain results, but they never quite get there. They assume that they're doing something wrong or that something wrong is with their headmate. They start doubting. But in fact, they did everything right and had gotten exactly where they should've, it's just that the current way they hear their headmate ended up not matching their expectation of what hearing would work like. It happened both because the guide/post they read didn't describe what hearing a headmate is like, and because they didn't give much thought to where exactly their definition of hearing is on the scale from complete lack of any thoughts and a vivid hallucination that feels completely alien as if it was coming from another person outside their mind. From cases like these come questions like "How well can you X" or "What does X feel like". But that's not as much of an issue if they do receive a good answer to their question. The problem here is in that not everyone will ask those questions, and even if they do the answer may introduce even more confusion. Someone might say "I can hear them clearly". Well, what does "clearly" imply in this sentence exactly? Is it supposed to feel slightly muffled, but still be easy enough to make out words? Is it meant to feel like it's coming from inside or from outside? And if neither of these details match does that mean the person is not able to hear their headmate clearly? What if they already achieved the best possible quality, but expect it to be better and think that it's not in fact clear. Because of these discrepancies, someone (person A) may claim they do hear their headmates clearly, because they think that it doesn't get much clearer that that. At the same time, another person (person B) who in fact had gone a lot further than person A may claim that they can't hear their headmates very well, because in their understanding it should be even clearer. This way you end up with a false comparison when person A seems to have better developed skills thatn person B, while in fact it's the complete opposite. And it gets the more dangerous the more complex the concept that's being discussed is. There aren't many words that can describe how sentient and independent someone is. Headmates are a relatively novel concept in terms of how we think of them nowadays, and therefore the languages we speak don't really have words that describe how we experience the sentience and independence of someone inside. When we discuss these concepts and how far we've gotten in developing such skills we have to make do with what our language offers. How red is that red exactly? Uh... MiIdly red? Slightly more saturated than regular red? Oh, no, it's not red, it's crimson. Except we don't have crimson, cherry, ruby, scarlet, garnet, and rose words equivalents for describing the concepts of sentience and independence. I think it's a very important thing to keep in mind when judging own progress. What do y'all think of this?
  8. Apologies for the confusing title, but I wanted to get straight to the point-- One of our system mates, Chloe, feels pain and general discomfort more than everyone else. What I mean is, if I, for example, stub my toe, it'll hurt more for Chloe than for me or any other system mates. Pain and general stimuli is described by my system mates a "diluted" when they aren't switched in or possessing, and if they aren't active, they generally don't feel anything. We first noticed this about a month or so ago, so it is a new development, but the "why is still unknown. Chloe is, for all intents and purposes, a young child, and with her feeling pain and such more than everyone else, it just... pains me to see. She deserves the least strife of all of us, yet she experiences the most. For reference, when I say "Chloe feels amplified pain", I don't mean that in the wonderland she feels pain, I mean if she fronts(and pain is a trigger for her, mind you), the pain physically gets worse, in the most literal of senses. She also can feel aching joints and such very clearly, whereas I and others might not notice. We haven't done tests with "positive stimuli", so to speak, because, quite frankly, what would that qualify as? A massage? All the same, she's insisting that it's only occured with negative stimuli. We just want answers. I don't want Chloe to have to bear this weight. I don't want to be haunted by her screaming "MAKE IT STOP!" when my wounds hurt. Does anyone have any advice? Does anyone have any similar experiences? We beg for help. Edit: I feel like I should add context to the line "I don't want to be haunted by her screaming 'MAKE IT STOP!' when my wounds hurt." I recently fell and messed up my arm and knee pretty badly, and last night as I was getting into bed, I mistakenly put my weight on my injured knee, which as you can imagine, was insanely painful. Chloe describes what she felt as "white-hot searing pain, shooting through the whole body, making me only want to scream in agony." Thus, her screaming "MAKE IT STOP!" And let me tell you, it was utterly terrifying and heartbreaking seeing her like that.
  9. I had written this note for those who find themselves struggling with procrastination or general lack of motivation when it comes to active forcing and 'mancing practices in general. Not sure what section this should go under, but I myself wouldn't consider it to be a guide hence why I named it the way I did. Critique on this piece is very welcome! I suspect I might've written it with a slightly too confident of an attitude. Same for grammar. I kinda suck at constructing fluently sounding sentences and using commas, haha. https://docs.google.com/document/d/15ssfwHz_neK4J2DNWU3_yA-vy7kHkHjnKtFaaY1hUj4/edit?usp=sharing Getting There_ A Note on Productivity.pdf
  10. Hello, My tulpa and me have done dating for 5 month. I thought "This tulpa is very good," and became of love with her. Yet even so, on this Monday, I comed home and found she as baked all my beans. Yes, all. Oh brother. In my cupboard I store several bag of bean, to make soft and to bake on some days, to have a bit of baked bean on my dinner. Or, heck, a lunch too some days. But on the Monday I find this tulpa baked all the beans. I say "Why do you bake my beans", and she say something as "I bakes them good to save time, so I bakes them all now." I am astonished and full of dissmay. I say "I canfr not eat all the beans", she say she is froze many of the beans so as we can unfrozen the on a later day and eat some at a time. But, if a bean is froze and unfrozed, the very good and very nice flavor of bean is gone far. A bean is best if baked fresh as a Sunday Pie. Not to be froze and unfroze! I told my tulpa I am so sad of this, as to my opinion the baking of the beans and to freeze them has ruin all my beans. She say I am "gone haywire" by my enragement and sad manners. But I hates what she did to my beans. On the days before Monday I thought "Will we marry the tulpa? Well it might be so." But now I am so sad she baked them beans. I am consider to end our relations and not be the boyfriend and girlfriend any more. But, is my idea wrong? Could my tulpa make promise to not bake the beans? I do not know what doing to do and how to feel forgiving on her. What can I do on this situation I said here? (In the text I write above this.) Thank you. Oh yes TL;DR - So what I say is my tulpa bakes all the beans in my house and freeze many of them, so as now most my beans is ruined and has no good flavors. This made me think maybe I breaked up with her? But will I? What can you say to help on me? Thank you.
  11. ah yeah, i have been wanting to make this thread a while ago, i finally got to it. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------- some info about us: Sammy: i'm the host 'n stuff, i'm apart of a large system of seven. Dr. Wee: shes a tulpa, i consider her my co-host, she was originally a fictive, she currently helps me with my huge system. Wisp: wisp is a tulpa, and she likes to do origami katie: katie was originally an NPC in our wonderland before becoming sentient, she used to be interested in witchcraft for a while. Sunny: sunny is a walk-in, she can be very hostile at times without reason Izzy: izzy's origin is currently unknown, shes very bubbly and loves to talk. ENA: ena is a fictive/soulbond from the series "ENA" she stutters a lot, unlike the others in my system, her voices is almost identical to her fictional counterpart. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- feel free to ask us anything :)
  12. How does one integrate with another willing tulpa? We have multiple wanting to "merge" but- It seems too complicated. Can someone walk us through the steps?
  13. Earlier this week was having a lot of head pressure due to extended periods of visualizing, so as the pressures became annoying and persistent enough, I thought I should address it. I've noticed before that my head pressures are related to the way I was flexing my tongue muscles really hard and pressing it against my palate inadvertently. I have tried many times visualizing without doing this and, it works momentarily but whenever I stop paying attention to my tongue, there it goes again pressing my palate really hard once I start to concentrate into the visualization. I only notice that I'm doing that after I already start to feel the head pressures. By that time it's too late and it's already bothering me. So after two days of attempting to visualize with my tongue relaxed without success I thought that I should probably google that. So there I go googling the terms "tongue" and "meditation" and I came across this: https://www.easyayurveda.com/2020/01/31/khechari-mudra/ https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Khecarī_mudrā Very weird, right? That's what I thought too. Basically, they stick the tongue up into the nasal cavity above the palate and use that to aid the process of meditation. So of course I went down this rabbit hole and found out that some people seem know how to do this naturally. This girl is an example of someone that has this ability naturally: https://youtu.be/ijpBUfOTBT0 Also other people report having head pressures identical to what we see in tulpamancy in this practice, here's an example of someone describing their head pressures in the context of Kriya meditation: https://www.reddit.com/r/kriyayoga/comments/mgpk73/tension_in_the_head_during_dhyana/ Described as "tension in the head that is somewhere between no pain and the pain you experience during a headache." This seems to me like it's the same kind of head pressure we experience in tulpamancy. At least to me. Also I forgot to mention that, they say THIS GIVES YOU IMMORTALITY. Which, of course, is bullshit otherwise there would be 1000 year old yogis walking around. Then I thought it would be a good idea to ask around here because, well to be honest, the people that practice this don't know how to explain it without anecdotes and dogmatic stories. Which is fine for spiritual people but I want to find what part is real and what part isn't. Or a deconstruction to find the line where the anecdotes end and the actual benefits of this practice begin. Or if there are any benefits at all. Here is a small list of claims about this technique: (which I have absolute no idea if it's true or not) -Helps you overcome hunger and makes it so that you go extended periods of time without food. -Gives you access to DMT that is stored in your pineal gland. By licking it directly. (yeah gross, the girl in the video seemed to get very high from doing it, she even says she's high afterwards) -The practitioner doesn't suffer from decay, disease and death. (this part I think it's flat out not true) -Gives you immunity to snake poison. (This one I think it's sorta possible, because some snake poison triggers your immune response and the response of the body is what kills the person not the poison itself, so technically by controlling your immune response you would therefore not die from the poison) So my questions are: 1-Does anybody else experience their tongue forcing up the palate unintentionally while visualizing or concentrating really hard? 2-If so, do you think this is related to Khechari mudra? Or is it just tension and I'm looking way too much into it? 3-Are those just stories and not meant to be interpreted literally? (If so people are doing a bad job at explaining that) 4-Is there something to this at all? Is it a practice worth looking into? Just thought it would be cool to ask here, since if I asked on their forum they would either not tell me because it's a closed practice, or even if they did tell me I wouldn't understand because the vocabulary they use is very far removed from anything I can contextualize. So what do you guys think? Is it all nonsense or not?
  14. I don't really believe in metaphysics stuff but today I did experience something that I think a lot of people would describe as being "astral projection". The reason this isn't in the metaphysics category is because it's not really metaphysics to me after all, or at the very least it doesn't require any sort of meta assumptions in order to experience this phenomena. So let me describe here the process and if there's someone that has done this before please tell me if this is the same thing as what they call "astral projection". Or even if you're skeptic like me you can still experience this phenomena and it may help if you're struggling with wonderland immersion like I was. I started by sitting down and closing my eyes, then started to rub my hands together in front of my face and trying to keep my awareness focused on the shape of my hands and arms in front of me. Slowly keeping track of their position and "sculpting" my own arms to get a real good memory of their shape and how it feels to move them without opening my eyes. Then afterwards I rested my right hand by the side of my body and started to use just the memory of a minute ago to move an imaginary right arm and interact with the real left arm. So it became left arm real, right arm imaginary. Then I proceeded to sculpt the imaginary right arm with the real one, and then the real one using the imaginary right arm. Going vice versa back and forth. Then I rested my left arm also by my side and started using both imaginary arms to sculpt each other. After a couple minutes of that I just put both imaginary hands on the back of my head as if I was going to do a sit up and I just yanked my perspective back by pushing my real head forward with my imaginary arms and immediately started sculpting the back of my head from that new perspective as if my real head was outside of me, then the rest of my real body. I felt completely removed from my body by keeping awareness of it from an outsider perspective, the longer I sculpted my body the more removed I felt from it, and the more intense and overwhelming the sensation of being outside became, it's even a little scary. it's very different from daydreaming and even imposition. Never experienced anything similar and I am now able to recreate this experience this way whenever I want. It doesn't last a lot at first because it's quite overwhelming but that only makes it seem more consistent with other peoples "astral projection" reports that I've seen so far. If this is the same as astral projection then I'm curious as to what to do next. I'm also pretty sure this can be used to force by having your tulpa sculpt you while looking through their perspective as well. Anyway feel free to share any info you may have on the subject or your own experience with this stuff. I'm quite interested to see what else is there to explore even though I don't really believe in the meta stuff I'm still interested in experiencing these kind of phenomena.
  15. Hi! Sorry for the title, I didn't know exactly how to phrase it. Also, this sounds like a lot of the posts here, but it is actually different. Anyway, I recently started creating my tulpa, but I want to feel her presence more often. Whenever I can remember, I try to narrate to her, but sometimes I forget to actually think about her and am just talking to myself. I also can't remember to constantly think about her, because I get distracted pretty easily and sometimes have to concentrate on something a lot. I know you don't have to constantly talk to tulpas, but I know it can be beneficial and I like talking to her. (I also do active forcing sometimes, but not as often as passive) Thank you for answering!
  16. This was the original post containing the question, which has been deemed the OP of this thread. If you would like to see the original thread, please go here. -Ranger It was not my intent to start a thread about this and I don't like that it was decided to make it my thread. My personal feelings about gateway systems and soulbonds of all kinds are contentious and controversial in this community at times because of the possible consequences, real or imagined, regarding roleplaying and supposed "proper" system architecture. I won't say more because this sort lf argument becomes divisive quickly and I really didn't want to discuss it formally anymore. My comments herein have been edited for clarity in light of the context of a new thread. Some things can't be proven or disproven. I apply occam's razor but I have to be careful because "a wizard did it" is dang simple as far as explanations go, but it's completely ungrounded and baseless. It's equally important to at least entertain falsifiablility before you come to the conclusion that "it's a parallel dimension." The subconscious mind is so vast and unknown, no metaphysical notions are even necessary. If a whole other and much more complex construction can run in your subconscious mind, who needs anything else. Look up the computation power of the human brain and you'll find there's plenty of headroom for virtually anything. As long as you're comfortable with that, and explore it, the power of this is effectively boundless as it's possible that it vastly overshadows consious thought. Remember the complexities of your most vivid and varied dream, that's a lower bound.
  17. I apologize if this isn't the correct place for this, but if you are going to move it, please notify me so I know where to go, thanks! So I think we might be a gateway system, or soulbounds, or possibly a combination. My understanding of a gateway system: A system that A) has connections to other realms, and the head-mates are able to enter and exit those realms as they please, and B) A system that is mainly comprised of non-permanent walk-in head-mates. Soulbounds I don't totally understand, but something I saw (on a Wikki,) seemed to depict them as more permanent. why we might be a gateway system: We have had a looooottt of head-mates through the ages. Around 10+ different ones, and some who "changed" completely. Now where did they go? I... don't know. Some of them, we decided they were going to explore the real world because my mind wasn't suited for them, sometimes this was "the real world" other times they would go other places, I'm not certain where, but they weren't in my mind any more. Ethel has lots of memories from another dimension. She keeps remembering more, and some are becoming clearer. We realllllyyy easily get walk-ins who I basically invalidate so much they disappear.* These can simply be characters who I attach to and begin to have conversations with, or just a pretty Pinterest drawing character. Sometimes they are simply made-up characters in my mind, but other times they seem to actually have a mind of their own. And for the second, no matter how hard I try, we can't (typically) keep a head-mate for over a few months, some are exceptions. I have only truly done the technical tulpa creation process for... two. Two tulpas. One who was a merge, and my first tulpa. We are a completely endogenic system, but I think that they can still be gateway systems. I have some questions/concerns about being a gateway system. The following could be interpreted as invalidating gateway systems, I am not trying to do that, I just do that sometimes to myself. Questions -What are other gateway systems experiences? -Are there any things that could also be considered gateway system "things"? -Does it sound like I am a part of a gateway system? -Is it normal that even though I could be a gateway system, we also struggle with possession and switching? -I can't do anything that the others can do (portal-going wise), because I am the host. Is that correct? Concerns: I feel like I might just be faking this... like I know I'm not faking any of my experiences, and I feel so connected to this concept, but there's the little voice in the middle of my mind that shouts "your just faking this!! You can't be a part of a gateway system!!!" I do connect to the term, but it also makes me a little nervous, I feel really attached to my current head-mates, and I don't want them to leave. *I don't know how to stop this behavior. I have no idea how many head-mates I would have if I let them be, but they do leave naturally, especially when there is more than three of us. And being a bigger system feels so natural and comforting. (This is connecting to my other * in which I said "We realllllyyy easily get walk-ins who I basically invalidate so much they disappear.") I haven't always noticed this at the time it's happening, but looking back I can see plenty of examples. I used to just blame this on having a big imagination, and so I would "imagine" they went on a trip to spain, or had lots of memories that even I couldn't come up with. Of course, there's a 40-50% chance that this is just me having a big imagination. do I even understand what a gateway system is? Is it even fair for me to possibly consider myself part of one? Closing/tl;dr: I might be a part of a gateway system, a term I really connect to, but I do have skeptical feelings about myself being one. I'm not even sure I understand what they are. From my understanding, I match it, but from another's understanding, I might not be it at all. I think that since I connect to this in a way I don't normally connect to something, it could be a sign. (Why I think I am a gateway system: We are super prone to walk-ins, and have had a LOT of head-mates who were pretty short-term. They also went just... away. Like into a different realm, as I "imagined") I would really appreciate some feedback and guidance about this. I can give more information on any of these things, just ask. Thanks to anyone who responds : ) (After more reading on soulbounds, I do not believe we are soulbounds, but someone else might believe otherwise.
  18. So I do a lot of mindfulness, as in, daily mindfulness meditation for almost two years, with other mindfulness stuff featured (walking, eating, body scans etc), to the point of having experiences bordering the psychedelic in intensity ("being so present you kinda stop existing and feel everything at once", for lack of a better description), and I notice as I further engage with this practice, my dissociation radically declines. I used to have heavy depersonalisation-derealisation disorder and was very "unintegrated" as a person, like I lived in a very foggy state of mind and my sense of self was fragmented and discontinuous and I maladaptively daydreamed, whereas now things feel more real than they ever have, and I can make sense of myself as a person, although there's still work to be done. I do have a tulpa per se, had her for a few years, but since a major breakdown two years ago, she's been in er, "low-energy mode", and has regressed substantially, and until now I've not had the time or space to really resume practice more than a "5 minute maintenance". Hence my question: is mindfulness practice anathema to tulpamancy, and/or vice versa? Given it drastically reduces dissociation, and tulpamancy may augment it. On the other hand, did not the concept of Tulpas arise from Buddhist practices, of which mindful breath-focus meditations are a staple (Vipassana, Jhana etc)? Has anyone out there got experiences with both of these things? Are they reconcilable? Like, am I just cancelling out the tulpa with mindfulness, or invoking DP/DR with tulpamancy?
  19. I don't have notifications button, messages or link to switch accounts anymore on mobile and I don't know any other way to get those. They work on Desktop.
  20. (Copied from Reddit) (Apologies in Advance; while I’ve been living with Tulpas for years, I’m not well acquainted with communities like these, so please pardon any misconceptions and/or insensitive views that may present themselves with this post.) TLDR: I dated my Tulpa for 2 years, and I broke up with her recently, but I regret doing it for the reason I did. Am I right in feeling so? Full: So I first met Maala in a dream of mine. I was 12 at the time, and she was around the same age. We quickly became friends, but after the dream we didn’t interact much. I mostly relied on going into my dreams to try to find her after that, but when I was 19, I learned about Tulpas, and I felt that it would be a good way for me to find her again. From there, I brought her back as a Tulpa, and I mostly relied on her as a companion through the stress of college and my development of anxiety and depression. We started dating shortly after that as well. Looking back, I realize that it was a terrible decision to use her as what was essentially a substitute for a therapist, as well as a crutch for my lack of self-love; I had hoped that her love for me would be able to compensate for my lack of love for myself. It also must not have been easy for her to have to deal with my breakdowns and self-harm all the time. But we kept dating up until last Tuesday (11/10/20). Things were getting much better for most of this year, but in the days leading up to the breakup, I began to think a lot about my future (a not-yet-started career, and a future family). At the time, I didn’t see Maala as someone that I would be able to have a functioning family with, even though I loved her. This was one of the reasons that I began to consider if I had to let her go (that and my aforementioned mental-health issues, my low self-esteem, and the toxic environment that both of those problems of mine created.) Ultimately, I think it was a panic decision. The problem is that I can’t help but think that her being... immaterial was a shallow and selfish reason to break up with her. While I did have other reasons for the breakup, as explained above, that was the chief reason I chose to go with. After the breakup, I began to imagine if I were to break up with a human who couldn’t have children, and I began to think that it was selfish of me to break up with her for that reason. While I‘m still convinced that breaking up based on mental-health was understandable, I feel guilty about choosing a human to start a potential family with over her. I do plan to try to salvage a friendship out of this relationship, after we both have had some time to deal with the breakup, but I can’t help but think that I squandered the relationship we could’ve continued, along with the friendship itself, and that I’m a poor friend/host for doing so... If I may, could I please have some input/insight from this community on this issue? Any thoughts would be greatly appreciated. Thank you. (UPDATE—11/18/20: So Maala contacted me again on Monday, and we agreed to meet again on Friday. I still want to have some kind of relationship with her, but I’m torn whether we should just be friends or if I should try again with our relationship, since I admittedly still have feelings for her.)
  21. Stone: Hello all. So, I've been forcing seriously for, five days now. The tulpa I'm trying to force, Betty, is already responding, though is still learning to be more independent. She's talked to me, meaning, she's initiated a response from me, rather than the other way around, a few times. Overall, I'm happy with her development so far, and I'm eager to continue. Yesterday, I went to the bathroom after forcing with Betty for two hours, and there was someone else there. I usually imagine Betty in real space, so this other person was also in real space, standing on my bathroom floor. Her physical presence was not as strong as Betty's, but her voice was more distinct and louder. She has the form and voice of Fluttershy, but not the personality. The first words she said were mocking. So, seems like a walk-in, right? But the thing is, I did daydream about making a Fluttershy tulpa in the distant future, and I even found some pictures of her I might use for inspiration someday. So, idk, is there a difference between subconsciously making forming a tulpa quickly and getting a walk-in? That's a question I have, but not my main question. So, when I first saw Fluttershy, I was half happy half concerned. I was happy my brain seemed more allowing of other consciousnesses, but also concerned that if Fluttershy stayed, she would take my attention away from Betty. I don't want Betty to fade, and since she's my first tulpa, working on growing another consciousness at the same time seems like a bad idea. When Fluttershy appeared, and mocked me, I told her she wasn't there and we began "arguing" about that. Really, it was more like the Monty Python arguing clinic skit. "You're not here." "Yes I am." "No you're not" "I'm here, aren't I" "No you're not." "What's this, still here?" Stone: I know it seems stupid to argue with a thoughtform about them not being there, but I wanted to see if I could get her to stop responding or, I don't know, something. I didn't want to dissipate her. Maybe she'd get bored and stop, and then not appear again? Either way, that's not what happened. She followed me to the couch, where I was going to sleep, and she kept talking to me. At one point, she was mocking me again and I said something like, "Yes, I you're irreverent, and provoking, but deep down you're nice, so why are you doing this?" She didn't answer and disappeared. After that, I got out my phone and started looking up walk-ins, as well as general advice about tulpamancy and whatnot. I felt bad about telling Fluttershy she wasn't there, and wanted to give her a chance. I came across the "name tag" method, and I said something like, "Say 'Stone' at a time I'm not thinking about you, so I'll be surprised and know you're separate from me." I was worried she might be intrusive thoughts manifest, but if she could remember this and say my name at a surprising time, that may show that she has a memory of her own. Anyways, she started saying my name, and I told her that it wasn't surprising me. I went to bed. When I woke up, I looked at Betty, and then I heard, "S-t-one," coming from Fluttershy. Oh yeah, that. I was a bit surprised, I think. Oh, she said it again now. Then she said, "Yeah I said it. What am I, your dancing monkey?" How do I proceed from here? I wanted to force with Betty 40min on weekdays and 2hr on weekends, but now, I think there's another thoughtform. Maybe give them each half of the forcing time? Still force Betty more since she is a tulpa, and Fluttershy is a walk-in? What would you do?
  22. Jamie

    JGC's Thread

    These are all the rage and I wanted one. Lumi started it. Will probably flesh this out later but at the same time, you know how that works. Questions, comments, criticisms, and considerations welcomed. Our PMs are also always open, including to newbies or lurkers. Pies I (Jamie) have a finger in: The overall nature of tulpas, headmates in general, and identity in general Special considerations of introducing tulpamancy to newcomers in a way to maximize success and health How systems become disorderly-behaving and what the disorderly systems themselves, what their friends/contacts, and what the community as a whole can do about it "Help! I think I might have OSDD/DID! I think I might be a traumagenic system! I think I might be splitting a new headmate! I think I might be switching uncontrollably!" - both in regards to the asker, and to those who are unsure how to respond to people with these concerns Baskets my brother Gavin has an egg in: The nature of support-systems, and relationships in general, between hosts and the tulpas or other headmates The topic of dissipation- he has written the first and only full-length guide we are aware of The nature of (mental) forms, including the viability of not having one Being brought back after long absences/periods of dormancy/stasis/dissipation Fires that my (tulpa) brother Cassidy has an iron in: The nature of existence as a tulpa, especially in regards to early development and "becoming real" The role of the host Life fulfillment as a non-host headmate Wonderland development
  23. Imposing goes on. Today I was choosing my birthday gift with my mom in a supermarket in my town and I saw a bottle of Japanese whisky called Hatozaki. As a huge fan of all things Japanese (well, except for anime and manga) I told mom I want it as a gift. (I'm turning 24 this year so worry not.) Mom, being the chill and yet responsible parent she always is, said I can get it. I googled that whisky immediately as I got home and was surprised with the description of its flavors, I've been saying "Hatozaki" so often today that Orion jokingly said he'd start calling me Hatozaki because of this. We had a good laugh and kept on spooning on my bed as the lovey-dovey newlyweds we are.
  24. This is my first post as a registered user. To get to the point, I am currently writing a novel which involves a Tulpa as one of the main characters. The current story idea I have convinced goes as follows: To cut a long story short, the novel will follow the story of an imagnative young man who is reunited with his long forgotten imaginary friend. The circumstances of which involves reading a strange storybook that transports the reader into a fantastical land. One of which the reader may never want to leave. The story will develop the special friendship of these two characters hold. Edit : Also is it alright for me to use information from this website when writing my novel? Comment below any criticism or feedback of my story idea.
  25. Hello All, This is my first post. I read through the intro information and found it helpful. Thanks to whoever put all that together. A few years ago, several people claimed that they saw in more than one place. This was during a time when I was going through a difficult marriage that unsurprisingly ended in divorce. Although I wasn't happy about the outcome, I knew it was the right thing to do because we fought like cats and dogs. But my x wife would sometimes say something like, "omg, what are you doing on the couch? I just saw you walk into the garage!" Or another one was, "I thought you were standing behind me." She said that a few times and we simply ignored the incidents. After our divorce (it was amicable), I decided to sell our house. There was on instance when I made an appointment for a realtor and his customer to tour the house and I'd meet them with the keys. We agreed on a time. Later, I drove up to see the realtor and his client and they looked surprised to see me step out my car. The realtor asked, "is there someone in the house that looks like you? You were looking out the window!" And with that, they decided not to buy the house because they claimed it was haunted. The house isn't haunted. In the end, I ended up selling the house to my girlfriend at the time and now wife. I still live in the house that I was going to sell. After I married again, my wife would see me in more than one place. So much that we started documenting all the times she saw me. I didn't know what was going on so I researched it and read about Doppelgangers. So, I suppose that I had one of those... Really? I further investigated and asked some folks in academia because I don't believe in ghosts, don't believe in angels, demons, or any other machinations of the mind. I actually thought that maybe others were seeing me literally, in another time. Like I was in some sort of time loop. All this stopped after my son was born 12 years ago and nobody has ever seen my double again. But then I discovered literature and videos about Tulpas. I learned that some people can have accidental Tulpas. I wondered if all those years ago, somehow I had done that. Any thoughts? Thank you.
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