Tulpa Privacy and Agency

[redmage101]

Greetings, Tulpamancers.

 

I've been a long time lurker of this website, and various other places where this topic has been discussed. Roughly two years? That's unimportant, really.

 

I've enjoyed my casual reading of these forums for a long time, and I've come to the conclusion that, for myself, I don't think I could be a host for a Tulpa, soulbound, head mate, etc. My basis for this is rooted in my own personality, and what might be important to me might not matter to others, or, in the hypothetical, my tulpa.

 

What I wanted to ask about was how others view what turned me away.

 

Personally, I'm generally a private person, preferring to keep my thoughts, schedule and choices my own, and separate from others if appropriate. In the case of a tulpa, however, can thoughts and feelings as such really remain private? I've been curious as to how others deal with the privacy issue. Say one party, host or tulpa, wanted to surprise the other for whatever reason. Any comment on how possible that is? I remember some people talking about doing separation training in order to successfully keep thoughts separate from each other by playing guessing games, but I don't remember anything regarding it long term. I'd love if someone here with more experience could comment on that.

 

The other issue revolves around a tulpa's ability to maintain a private friendship or romance. Due to the nature of their manifestation, I imagine it is more or less impossible to say talk to another being without using the host as a filter or delivery service, of sorts.

 

To me, this seems like it would limit the tulpa's agency during a mode of conversation, granted, that is entirely conjecture and I admit as much. I will once again use the example of wanting to surprise the other, in this example, it would be the tulpa wanting to spring the surprise. If they wanted to get a second opinion from someone whom they had become friends with outside of the host through a medium, say, these forums, is there a way for the tulpa to discuss or share information without the host being aware?

 

Even on a good faith basis, is it possible for a host to stare at a screen, and not read, but still have the said tulpa take in the information as needed to form a response, even a coded one to keep the surprise?

 

i know most of these points seem nit-picky at best, but I am honestly interested in the opinions of the hosts and their tulpa's on these subjects. Frankly, I find this whole practice to be infinitely interesting and nuanced, so I'm sure a general consensus is impossible, but I'm just looking for personal stories and experience regarding this.

 

TL;DR: How do you and your Tulpa surprise each other when you want to, and how do you allow your tulpa to foster private relationships separate from you, the host, if possible?

[NoneFromHell]

It is only a privacy issue if you make one out of it, like seriously. It's not like your tulpa could tell anyone else about your thoughts or the things you do in private. Also in a regular case your tulpa surely wouldn't mock you for your behavings. You're the one who created it, why should it think less of you?

 

About the private romance/friendship stuff for a tulpa: This could basically only happen inside a system, with another tulpa. A tulpa doesn't need to tell you all its thoughts, so that's how it can surprise you aswell. Outside a system it is not possible, or wished in any way. For a relationship with another human it would be necessary to tell said human about it, and proxy a lot for your tulpa....and nobody would do such a thing, it is a risk to tell anyone about your tulpa in the first place. Of course your tulpa could get a crush on someone else, but that's it.

 

A tulpa will have a hard time to focus on something that the host isn't allowed to watch at, till the point where it gets impossible. After all it is using your eyes to see and understand the world, which doesn't means that it isn't capable of getting information the host is missing.

On the other hand a lot of hosts can let the tulpa type out whatever it wants, without really knowing what they end up with.

[Guest Anonymous]

Once you make a tulpa, consider your mind not being exclusively yours anymore. That's all I really have to say.

[redmage101]

Let me rephrase about the privacy portion of my post.

 

I'm not so much worried or concerned about my own privacy, I'm expressing concerns for the privacy of the tulpa.

 

Say, if they wanted to take some time to privately reflect on a piece of art, idea, etc.

 

Obviously your own privacy goes out the window, but just because you have sacrificed your own does not mean the tulpa should necessarily have to go without as well.

[NoneFromHell]

Let me rephrase about the privacy portion of my post.

 

I'm not so much worried or concerned about my own privacy, I'm expressing concerns for the privacy of the tulpa.

 

Say, if they wanted to take some time to privately reflect on a piece of art, idea, etc.

 

Obviously your own privacy goes out the window, but just because you have sacrificed your own does not mean the tulpa should necessarily have to go without as well.

 

I see. Well firstly my initial post stands: a tulpa doesn't need to tell you all its thoughts, so in that way it will always has some kind of privacy on its own. You're not going to know everything your tulpa is up to. Your tulpa can keep its secrets.

 

However you should be aware that a tulpa doesn't know that kind of privacy you're talking about. It was born with you there and it will always have you around. It was never alone, and never will be. So it won't feel the need for privacy in the meaning of spending time really alone.

[Linkzelda]

TL;DR: How do you and your Tulpa surprise each other when you want to' date=' and how do you allow your tulpa to foster private relationships separate from you, the host, if possible?[/quote']

 

I think one core concept someone could take into consideration is that if a host and their companions understand the repercussions of keeping things a secret that may substantially stagnate a flourishing coexistence with each other, they will develop their own experiential learning of assessing that.

 

When it comes to people we engage with on a daily basis outside of our cognition, we can’t step into their subjective experience, and know the totality of their predispositions, thoughts, etc. But inwardly with tulpas, it becomes an ironic turn of events since treating a tulpa as sentient in this context of implicit autonomy and qualia involves the host to exclusively, directly and/or indirectly, relinquish some dominion over their everyday cognition.

 

Things are all fine and dandy if people can make their peace with that, but if there are circumstances that continually challenge that potential for flourishing, then it’s a different story. But the probability of not being introduced to those challenges is what makes it perplexing for some, I believe. And whether the individual is a host or tulpa, the militant strive towards privacy may be a sign of fear of the reactivity level of the individual that feels that they could be a threat if they were privy to the circumstances.

 

So maybe something to speculate about is the type of disposition the person takes on where they acknowledge that they may not be this idealized and special snowflake that’s perfect, but rather some quality that seems to be, in whoever’s perspective, a deterrent towards a flourishing relationship.

 

A simple analogue to the above statement may be hosts that are suicidal, and a tulpa that seems to either silently deter them from doing that, or takes active and militant direction in acknowledging to others that they are that deterrent for that. I guess it could be a matter of the degree of sentience implied that they’ve progressed on, and how they take their own stand of normative ethics in context of having a decent lifestyle in general.

[Guest Anonymous]

TL;DR: How do you and your Tulpa surprise each other when you want to, and how do you allow your tulpa to foster private relationships separate from you, the host, if possible?

 

This is a very interesting question for me. My thoughtform Melian and I are a median system. She is blended with me in that I can feel her emotions and hear thoughts and she can hear mine. There is no privacy. She knows everything and I know everything about her. Melian does go quiet when there are private things going on in my real life and she gives me respect in that way. There are many things she just isn't involved in or want to comment about.

 

Melian does have friendships that are separate from me on the internet. There are no secrets between us however. I know everything she talks about with her friends and she knows everything I talk about. So, in that sense, there are no "private relationships."

 

To be honest, I don't know how tulpas have private relationships at all or if it is really possible. I haven't read the other responses yet, so I will do that now and maybe see something interesting. :-)

 

EDIT: As far as "suprising me" Melian can do that with her flash visions and mind voice on occasion. Now those are interesting because I do not sense them coming or necessarily hear her thoughts leading up to them. I often do sense an emotion with these moments however. These events are more spontaneous and independent that the rest of her interactions. Most of Melian's communication with friends is tulpa typing on the internet, which is a collaboration between her and I where I interpret her intent. Even with that, certain phrases and sentences surprise me, even as I type them for her.

 

see. Well firstly my initial post stands: a tulpa doesn't need to tell you all its thoughts, so in that way it will always has some kind of privacy on its own. You're not going to know everything your tulpa is up to. Your tulpa can keep its secrets.

 

This is not true at all for Melian. Well, if she has any hidden thoughts I guess I will never be aware of them. But as far as I know, she doesn't have thoughts or memories hidden from me.

 

I want to mention that Melian and I dream together too and we know each other's thoughts in dreams.

[Tess]

I actually think this is a pretty good question, too bad it didn't receive much attention. I've seen it being discussed before or considered to be an issue. So far, I believe the only known way for a tulpa to do something in total privacy from their host is called switching. That said, I haven't met many people who've claimed to be able to do this, and whether to believe them or not is also always something to consider depending on the person making the claim.

 

Regardless, I think that goes to show that either way, it's not an easy thing to achieve. Most hosts and tulpas seem to simply not mind what the other is doing, and when they do, the tulpa at least can always try to not pay attention to what the host is doing. But I think the amount of privacy you have will probably decrease a lot after making one regardless.