Sebastian

[Guest Anonymous]

Thanks for the reply :) I honestly never thought about the possibility of spirits actually being just thoughtforms before finding this forum. It was always a concern about whether they were servitors or not, because sellers (yes they sold spirits... Sounds like a scam, I know) would come up with the craziest mythological spirits to sell. I knew most of them were fake, but seeing some things did convince me. Even if they weren't spirits, I obviously don't mind self-induced hallucinations ;)

 

But I've always been pretty open to metaphysical, beyond scientific phenomena. Buuut that's off topic.

 

I talked to Sebastian in the shower again, while visualizing him standing outside the curtain. This way I just have to sense his presence and we still make a lot of progress. The burst of progress I made the first couple of days seems to have slowed down. I didn't sense much today, but I was a bit distracted because I left the music on too loud. I reiterated key personality points and left the rest up to him. Specifics I mentioned were extreme determination, strong will, not giving up, and a thirst/good retention for learning. I also emphasize on the importance of following some of the rules I might lay down in the future, even if he doesn't understand why. I (very very far away in the future) want him to get to the point where someone else sees him.

 

This is probably another huge discussion. I have had 'spirits'( already discussed the possibility of them being something else) that other people have described to me exactly the way I saw them. Me and these people have never met and they knew no details other than the first initial of the spirits name and what type it was. They described colors, numbers, and unique marks perfectly. Me and my partner have also seen the same thing regarding spirits, which leads me to believe that he ought to be the first one to see Sebastian If ever we got that far. He knows about him already and is open to it, which makes it easier. Still, I believe it's possible for sure. The first time I heard about tulpas was an article about one woman's wolf tulpa was visible to other people, regardless of the fact that it was harming her. However this could just be the mystical side of my beliefs. Energy and all that jazz.

 

I don't let him read my thoughts at this point, but I did invite him to view my memories regarding speech, so he could get a grasp on talking. I gave him homework and told him to think about the personality traits I'd narrated to him & how they could be manifested in reality (basically to help him practice implementing his personality). I told him I'd give him something cool tomorrow if he did :) Of course I don't know how I'll know if he did, but we'll figure that out tomorrow.

 

I've found that remembering/passive forcing him throughout the day is harder than I thought. Hopefully the 'homework' helps a little. Personally, I think of him as an individual with developing sentience. I don't think about the theory aspect of tulpas at all right now, so if this sounds crazy that's why. This is NOT scientific, I already know. I'm just using trial and error and I change my methods based on the results. I don't know if any of you are familiar with egregores (servitors that achieve sentience due to receiving mass energy. Eg. Gods). Basically after all the forcing, If I want others to see him this is how I think it's possible. Mass belief/energy.

 

Anyway, I have errands to run so will write more later. I know this is a scientific site, so please don't tear me a new one. Just recalling the metaphysical theory that led me here. I'm sure there is a scientific theory out there for the bibbity-bobbity-boo I believe.

 

Ps-Please forgive all spelling errors. Phone sucks and also no autocorrect for 'bibbity-bobbity-boo'.

[Paranoid Llama]

This is certainly the first time I've heard of a metaphysical method of creating a tulpa. then again I haven't been here for very long

 

Reading a bit of your progress, at this stage, Sebastian may not be very independent. I don't know if this applies to you, but sometimes for me earlier it never felt like my tulpa existed when I wasn't thinking about her. When I asked her what she was up to in the wonderland, it felt like I was just making up answers and lying to myself to prove her reality. It doesn't mean they are any less sentient, though.

 

I feel like I'll learn something from you if I keep reading your progress. Keep it up!

[Guest Anonymous]

Thank you :) I agree that he isn't independent. He usually follows me around with a blank stare. Sometimes I sense happiness and 'feelings', but it could be me just parotting/puppeting. I just assume that it is, because I read in one of the guides that it makes them work more to reach you, thus becoming more developed. I also don't feel him if I'm not focusing on him, so same boat :)

 

Today I found my mind had actually accepted his presence (for a short while) and he became a constant figure in the background while I was talking to my partner and playing with the dogs. This actually gave me a headache and weakened my focus on the conversation because it was like having an actual guest over that I was ignoring. I eventually started watching a show and tuned him out, which I regret now, but was thankful for at the time (I feel guilty ). It's bed time now, so active forcing till I fall asleep and then hopefully some related dreams.

 

I have social anxiety and so I added the preference to always be with me into Sebastian's personality. I feel bad about it now, and I always give him the option to go to wonderland and relax, but he came with me to dinner today. I felt weird eating & making him watch so I gave him an imaginary meatball sandwich. He seemed to like it, but of course I could be puppeting. I actually think I'll take the following preference out of his personality tonight and tomorrow and let him decide for himself.

 

Anyway, my new focus is to be able to deal with having Sebastian in my background even when I'm occupied and continuing to solidify his presence.

 

I write too much so I'll stop and actually go force. Thank you for reading this, if you do. It's immensely encouraging to hear all the feedback and similarities.

[Guest Anonymous]

Had some exceptionally scary dreams last night. Shower narrated with Sebastian this morning. He is absorbing information faster so I just repeated things and then finished quicker than usual. I have been visualizing him with me on and off, but I'm a bit restless today. I've gotten his personality narrowed down and taken out the parts I mentioned yesterday.

 

Not much else has happened so I will update later if it does.

 

Attached a side-view pic to keep things interesting.

[Guest Anonymous]

Morning!

I've been having some worries about Sebastian and so I built a safeguard into him. I know it's silly and the way I think of him is what will shape him... So I'm going to be more careful with my thoughts. Other than that, I finally believe I'm at the stage where I just keep forcing until he becomes sentient. Basically nothing exciting.

---

Oh, I was talking with my partner about switching yesterday, and how it could be explained scientifically. I thought there was no way in hell he could explain it.

 

He said sleep walking.

 

So I now believe that switching is possible and I will try it later when Sebastian is more himself :)

[SomethingDire]

Other than that, I finally believe I'm at the stage where I just keep forcing until he becomes sentient. Basically nothing exciting.

 

 

That sounds exactly like me. Good luck to both of us at this forcing thing!

[Paranoid Llama]

the way I think of him is what will shape him... So I'm going to be more careful with my thoughts.

 

You don't really have to be extremely careful with your thoughts. As long as you regard them as meaningless, you could imagine Sebastian as an evil entity or some giant dragon or whatever. Intrusive thoughts will almost always be unavoidable.

 

So I now believe that switching is possible and I will try it later when Sebastian is more himself

 

Well he's going to have to learn how to do full body possession first. Surprisingly, it wasn't that hard for me. My tulpa could do it right now if we wanted. I still don't know whether it's actually her possessing me or if I'm just lying to myself. This is what it means to have a tulpa.

 

It looks like he'll gain sentience in no time! Good luck!

I wonder if he'll be similar to me.

[Guest Anonymous]

I didn't know possession came first. That's interesting...I will have to read up more on that. Thanks!

[Paranoid Llama]

Well, since part of switching is the tulpa taking over the body, it's a logical step.

[Guest Anonymous]

So, for the sake of this being a progress report, I decided to mention that I have reabsorbed Sebastian and decided to start over. A few mistakes I believe I made were creating the shell first, not having personality clearly laid out ahead of time, and just not enough planning in general.

 

Due to improvising narration, personality traits, etc. and not being consistent day to day, the energy was chaotic and I started to doubt Sebastian's core. I don't want those kinds of doubts when I'm manipulating my mind. I felt bad, but I wasn't even a week in, so decided it was the best time to make that decision. I also let emotions get the best of me and cut down a lot of the personality I had planned out for him, reasoning that he would create it himself. Thus, I myself ended up not knowing who he was.

 

I will be starting again, but having much more control, as I originally intended and lots of writing/planning ahead of time. I will be renaming, so that no previous associations/assumptions will be passed from Sebastian. I will start with creating a core personality (as is recommended anyway) and then giving it a form last.

 

A bit sad not having his company today, but my mind is at ease.