Very Serious Fear Problems

[knightwriter]

I've had so much anxiety the past few days I've been having heart trouble (at age 21) and I'm pretty sure I bled internally last night.

 

First my mother found out about my tulpamancy and reacted in the worst possible way she thinks I'm summoning demons.

 

Then Falunel told me her behavior was abusive this reminded me of my father and MJ and I had to slay my fear of either of us becoming abusive individuals twenty something times for a day and a half.

 

I'm also attending a religious convention yesterday-tommorow so I can't change activities and distract myself and I can't stop thinking about my fears and/or my tulpa.

 

And one of the influences I found worthy of my Tulpa's imitation was Elihu unfortunately his name rhymes with Eliphaz a false comforter of Job whose words originated from a demon. So I'm having a trouble with the semantics and as my Tulpa's still nonvocal it's hard to tell what her situation is.

 

I just don't want her to turn out malevolent and/or a bad influence.

[Lucilyn]

I like how you said you were having anxiety and you thought you bled internally in the same sentence. Chill out man, stress won't cause internal bleeding, but thinking it does will cause more stress. It is hard on your body though, not life threatening but unhealthy over a long time. Mainly for your immune system and mental health. Nothing will hurt you guys directly, and your life-situation I have no idea about because I'm not you, but if it's necessary you can just lie and say you aren't talking to your tulpa anymore. How'd she find out about tulpamancy though?

 

You have complete control over what your tulpa will become, but unconscious fears may manifest if you let them. There's nothing to worry about if you don't worry, really. It's only when you start believing your tulpa will be bad that there's any chance of that happening. All the tulpas I've seen develop in situations like this turned out really, really nice and supportive. You can keep them a secret if you have to. And if when she becomes vocal there's any problems with her behavior, talk to her about it. Tulpas ain't demons (I'm sure not, and Reisen is more like an angel), they're a product of your mind, and they should be roughly as reasonable as you are.

 

Also hey, something I heard helped people with religious doubts is having their tulpa like, praise God or something. Sorry I don't know anything about any religions, but I hear demons can't like say anything good about God so if your tulpa does you're good right? Just keep those unconscious fear-beliefs in check because it'd be super not fair if you accidentally made her unable to say something by thinking she couldn't.

[knightwriter]

She grabbed my phone during my first and only skype text chat with my mentor.

[Faemon]

That sounds like a really horrible situation! But if you're beyond the age to need emancipation, and you still rely on your parents, I've got to advise either giving this up (because it doesn't fit in with the sort of life that you need to basically survive in, we're talking "don't get shunned into poverty and harassed into more ulcers than stomach" versus "don't give up on the zany fun adventures of imaginary friends") or keeping it to yourself for now, or between yourself and your spiritual leader, or between yourself and your therapist. Plural communities will still be here after you get your offline life sorted, but before then I can only predict leaning on us will make things complicated and worse. I can only wish you better health with your heart and mind.

[KarlYoshimura]

Much easier said than done, yet if you need something to hold you over, breathe in deeply several times before exhaling. If you're angry or frustrated, count to ten and re-orient yourself as needed.

 

Another tool I find helpful is the H.A.L.T. diagnostic - if you're Hungry, Angry, Lonesome or Tired, you will not behave or make decisions in a healthy or nominally rational manner. Keep these characteristics in mind the next time you're stressing and address them accordingly to re-balance.

 

It would appear that the stigma of making/having tulpas is exacerbated by modern religious perspectives, yet even as a believer I find the assumption of tulpas being demons to be needlessly harmful and overtly superstitious, not unlike how incredulous Protestant or Evangelist sects declare The Smurfs or Pokeymans to be instruments of Luciferian corruption.

 

Although tulpas were initially utilised in Tibet (for instance, by Buddhist monastic orders), they were intended to allow the host to work through both spiritual and material faults. In regard to others and myself, there are tulpas who are religious, and I can attest to the soulful excellence and healing offered by my own tulpa. Had it not been for her, I wouldn't be interested in leading a more godly life.

 

We'll pray for you both. Please get well soon and do not hesitate to post or message me privately if you need help or comfort.

[Linkzelda]

Even with lucid dreaming, some parents may find the practice of interacting with dream characters demonic. And the irony is, they too dream as well, which implies they interact with said dream characters they feel are inherently demonic.

 

You could, and this might be a weird suggestion, pretend as if you never had much going on with your progress with tulpamancy for the sake of making them feel at ease. But, like others have stated with matters like these, easier said than done. Ostracism isn’t a laughing matter, and it seems being anonymous is always the way to go, even if you have to make backups of your backups in ensuring that; can’t drive your tulpa to work, or all in life, I guess.

 

Getting that shock, and that unpredictability in emotions from others, can make any person go down the deep end.

[Lucilyn]

It would appear that the stigma of making/having tulpas is exacerbated by modern religious perspectives, yet even as a believer I find the assumption of tulpas being demons to be needlessly harmful and overtly superstitious, not unlike how incredulous Protestant or Evangelist sects declare The Smurfs or Pokeymans to be instruments of Luciferian corruption.

 

Although tulpas were initially utilised in Tibet (for instance, by Buddhist monastic orders), they were intended to allow the host to work through both spiritual and material faults. In regard to others and myself, there are tulpas who are religious, and I can attest to the soulful excellence and healing offered by my own tulpa. Had it not been for her, I wouldn't be interested in leading a more godly life.

 

Really good post/10

Also can vouch for the tulpas as a spiritual exercise stuff, and we aren't religious but Reisen made my host love life instead of hating it.

[XristiEno]

so I am kinda new here.

 

and been reading. my boyfriend kinda pointed me hear and now I am confused, upset and worried.

I been afraid to post this so this is taking alot out of me to post this here. please don't judge me harshly for the ignorance I might have with tulpas.

 

I am natively a creative person, my college degree is well bach in media arts and animation. so yeah being creative is kinda my life.

then there the other part

first off since I was young I been gifted with other senses. astral travel, apparently I can do gentle future predictions, I can see shadow people/beings and that I am myself am a psychic vampyre, i've been awake for about 13 years.so I been also working on my own self on many different levels.

 

pretty much everything I've learned been by myself or reading articles after articles (for I guess what I am going to call occult/new age nature topics)

 

Apparently for alot of my life I've unknowingly been working with tulpas. yes I always thought they were muses and characters. I thought it was completely normal.

they were roleplayed and had worlds that they active in including in this world. very commonly talk with them have them sit next to me and what not, even some became able to do things.

 

okay so this is where and why I am here. you can agree or disagree to this. I've had a muse now take slot over an other one that passed away from my ignorance. he's been around for about 9 years. he has recently stepped up and replaced the muse with himself and has been rather talkative. he has his own world but interacts commonly with me. but recently started effect the world around me. like I been seeing gold, blue, and silver/white streamers with his presently missing from me internally to have a large shadow like figure. note he's well. rather large to start with and I think he might be a tulpa. I again was kinda brought here by my boyfriend. I am worried I've might of really messed up. I got like big case of mom syndrome over my 'muse' now cause of reading over information I seen here and feel horrible about other things.

 

I am referring to him as muse right now cause I tried talking to him about tulpas and he gets rather upset about it. telling he rather be called a guardian. so I don't know what to do. is it possible to give too much power to um tulpas????

 

he has a name but I am withholding it for now. but anyway...

 

have I seriously done something wrong???

 

am I at the wrong place for this type of question? I really didnt want to start a new thread for this since I saw these are tweeted.

once again forgive me for any ignorance and please dont judge me too hard. there alot of things we all dont know. and this was kinda eye opening.

please respond kindly to me.

 

--

[Faemon]

 

have I seriously done something wrong???

 

 

In my opinion, no? That all sounds normal, well, as normal as these things get...

[Temar]

@knightrwriter: At this point the convention thing's done. Any updates you'd like to talk about?

 

@XristiEno: Nope. Not doing anything wrong as far as I can see from your description.

 

On top of tulpamancy, you'll want to look up soulbonding (link). It's a type of thoughtform that are usually connected with muses and previous characters, and we're pretty close cousins to tulpas, so there's a lot of overlap.

 

Could you be more specific about why you think you did something wrong? It sounds like you've got a strong, healthy thoughtform (or plural, hard to tell with how vague the story is). It's also all right if your headmate doesn't identify with tulpas or want to talk about tulpas... we thoughtforms can get a little willful sometimes. ;) If he identifies himself as a muse or guardian, there's nothing wrong with that.

 

It seems especially common for thoughtforms who have developed without knowledge of the community to have deviations from what is considered "standard," and that's all right. Your headmate is their own being, and only the two of you can identify what parts of tulpamancy apply and what parts just don't. There's nothing wrong with deviations. All that matters is that your headspace is happy and healthy.