Coalition of Claws Archive

[Lumanatrix]

[tulpa001]

Oops. Definitely try the discord. It tends to get a lot more traffic, and has more channels.

[Lumanatrix]

Last night Ray was possessing my right hand and typing very well. I was almost asleep so he wanted to switch. We haven't read any guides on switching yet because they all said the tulpa had to be vocal, and Ray recently got consistently vocal. I fell asleep in my computer chair, and I startlingly jerked awake really suddenly and slammed the keyboard.

 

I woke up at about 2:50 PM in the place where I usually sleep and looked at the IRC, the only sign of Ray doing anything while I was asleep was that in the input box there was a message I had sent previously.

 

 

Me: Did you do that?

Ray: Yes I did.

Me: But why would you just press the up arrow key a few times?

Ray: Because I wanted to, not much else to do really.

 

When he said that I also understood that he didn't want to be in the chat room and he was just trying to prove to me that he could do it.

 

So... does that mean we've switched?

[tulpa001]

Yeah, you are missing memories of the event. That is conclusive evidence of switching as long as the other remembers.

[Lumanatrix]

Cool! I want to keep practicing this.

 

This was the song that played in my head as I fell asleep when Ray was switching. I didn't even know the lyrics, I heard it in a game and looked up the lyrics that I could understand. It's kinda creepy o_o

 

[video=youtube]

[Lumanatrix]

Last night it was more difficult to switch. I kept trying to fall asleep, I listened to a recording of a train in the night and all sorts of stuff, but every time I was almost asleep my heart would beat faster or Ray would open my eyes and I would wake up again.

[Lumanatrix]

We tried switching the normal way, it was starting to work and I was entering my "tulpa body" but then I just fell asleep. I woke up and realized how much that failed, and Ray said he didn't do anything while I was asleep. Lol. We will try again.

 

We've been practicing imposition with me laying down and letting Ray scratch me. He gives an intense ASMR feeling that I really like, and he's learning to impose pain.

[Lumanatrix]

Ray is a godsend for my depression. Loneliness crept up on me and I asked Ray if he wanted to talk, and he immediately did. He told me to stay out of IRC to try to kill my loneliness and instead we just lay in bed together and he talked to me. He even dragged me out of bed to get a drink of water when I didn't feel like it. He's good at imposing touch, especially the ASMR feeling, but I can't see him imposed very well. I can see his shape though, I know where he is and if his paw is on my shoulder. He's so unexpectedly sweet and kind, I feel happy and definitely more motivated than I was.

 

I should mention, this is why I created Ray.  :D

[tulpa001]

Wow, that is really good. Reminds me of my first month.

[Lumanatrix]

I feel like I need to update, so here's my thoughts:

 

Ray hasn't talked quite as much today, but I'm not worried. I think he's a bit upset because he thought I was too harsh to someone earlier. We had a talk and I'll talk more in depth with him about it after I'm done with this post.

 

I feel like we need to "step up our game" lol, like build a massive wonderland and have three scheduled forcing sessions per day and stuff. But things are finally working out so I'm not worried. I'm very glad I didn't give up, the day that I decided to give up was just unfortunate because my depression had decided to fuck me. I'm thankful that Ray doesn't seem bothered by that.

 

I asked Ray how he does ASMR. He said that he learned it because I listened to ASMR youtube videos while forcing him, I think that's pretty cool. However, he does it way better than any video I've listened to. Sometimes it doesn't feel exactly like ASMR because I don't feel it physically, it's like some sort of intense feeling in my brain.