jeb0211

Jeb's bumpy ride.

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Hello, everyone! Jeb here.

As I'm new tulpamancy, I thought it would be a good idea to make a log. I'm expecting it to help my progress and knowledge.

 

English is not my first language (I'm Korean) so there might be some grammer/spelling errors. Please understand and correct me so I can learn.

Ok then. Will update soon, I got lot to tell ;)

 

Edit: It might be a good idea to give you guys a quick intro. Hello, it's Jeb and Jessie. And this is Jeb speaking, We'll use Itallic for Jessie's word.

 

I've known this forum for a month, and started tulpamancing on February 4th. Now she has a solid form and can communicate on a basic level (using my spring break as an advantage, we made a fast progress).

 

She haven't had a name untill yesterday. The name Jess just popped into my head. It wasn't her (I asked) but she agreed it is a good name. (It means 'To foresee', how can I say no.) But Jess wasn't the easiest name to say in Korean so we agreed on Jessie.

 

So, the basic's done. How we met and everything will be updated, um, I don't know, tommorow? It's kinda late here in Korea, so. (How we "met". Hmm, I like that.)

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Welcome to the forum both you and Jessie!

 

For her to be vocal in 12 days is quite an accomplishment. I'm sure you'll be making fast progress in other areas too.

 

As for your English, you are making a few mistakes but it is entirely easily readable.

 

Feel free to bug any of us with questions if you need to.


"My lover's got humour,

She's the giggle at a funeral,

Knows everybody's disapproval,

I should've worshipped her sooner."

 

Host to Samuel, RavenIvy, and Olivia.

 

CERCA TROVA

 

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Thanks for your warm greeting!

And again, sorry for my English and I'd appreciate if someone corrects me.

 

OK, let's get started.

 

Quick backstory 

After 2 years of severe depression I gained some interests in philosophy and psychonautics.

I've been meditating and exploring dreams (can't say lucid dreamed tho) for about a year now. 

During that I made myself an open person, which is one of the most important aspects about being a tulpamancer (at least I think, and I think so too).

 

Creation

A month ago, I found tulpamancy from Psychonauts Wiki. I thought 'Hmm, this would be a great way to access my subconsciousness.' and started researching. (Well not that I think my tulpa as a tool, but rather as a companion for exploring consciousness.)

After few weeks of researching and deep thinking I decided to make a tulpa and worked on her form for about couple weeks. Sorry, cannot explain exactly what she looks like because my art skill sucks and can't really find a person with similar look. Um, maybe teenage Korean-ish Jenna Coleman with front hair? idk. (What? No.)

Making wonderland wasn't hard. I used to imagine landscapes and houses to make me fall asleep, so my imagination skill wasn't bad. However I've never imagined a person before, so it took me a while to make her form (especially face). But with some training I was able to make her base form. I just let her (or my subconsciousness) decide the details and now she is a cute, round faced girl with absolutely no fashion sense. (What? Sweatpants and T shirt are comfy.)

I decided not to do the personality forcing, since I wanted her to be a reflection of my subconsciousness, and more importantly, I wanted her to be independent.

 

Development

I forced about 6 hours, sometimes up to 10 hours a day (since I'm on a spring break, I got something like 12 hours of free time). First few days I mostly just puppeted. Day 3 or thereabout, at the prism test, she did not let the prism on her head (and I blew the feather away). From there, I focused on narrating. I just narrated my actions and emotions at first (and parroted a little), until I could feel her response (day 7). After that, I started talking about debatable topics like politics, and let her criticize my logic. I intentionally made some flaws here and there at first (Ex. All human rights should be protected. Oh Kim Jong un launched another missile? We should hung him on a tree! Wait, didn't you said something about human rights? Isn't giving death penalty against that?), but after she got used to it, she started picking up my unconscious doubts (well I don't know the exact mechanism) and using that, found my flaws. It made her grow REALLY fast, and now (day 13), we can communicate on a reasonable level.

 

Troubles I had

Few days ago, she said our forcing sessions are too intense. She was tired and annoyed, and deep down in my mind I was feeling the same. She said we both need some rest and she disappeared. I was really nervous about this but I knew that getting nervous would not solve anything. So I detached from my feelings, observed and admitted my situation. and as soon as I did that, she came back. I was glad and wanted to force right away(which shows he wasn't that detached from his feelings. Meditate more and stop being lazy), but I learned my lesson. We agreed to slow down a little bit (all this life thing was meant to be fun you know).

 

Interesting things

I don't know why but I can impose things pretty good (well maybe from all the mushrooms I ate), so why not. Practicing imposition right now, and I found out that she has a strawberry-like smell. I love to cuddle her but she said she feels a little uncomfortable about physical contact, ;_;

And today I found an article about physical contact's benefits and importance on newspaper. I'm gonna read it to her after I post this :D

 

Questions

What visual imposition should really look like? Well, can it even be explained? She looks good enough for me (looks kinda like a picture printed on a clear plastic or something), but I'm just curious. What visual imposition looks like to professional tulpamancers?

 

 

Gahhh, thank you for reading. I hope it wasn't too confusing to read due to my lack of English skill. Took me something like 2 hours to write this, really should study harder (although Korean English education is infamous for being hard and useless). So, happy tulpamancing everyone, see you around.

 

Edit: Good enough imposition means good enough to concentrate. I'm not saying my skill is good enough.

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Welcome you two!

 

I have never heard of psychonautics before. Interesting.

 

Sounds like you are a model tulpamancer. Probably because of your preexisting interest in philosophy and altered mental states.

 

Visual imposition starts as layered imagination over reality. Some people can do this really well without tulpamancy. But it evolves with experience. Really old tulpas can appear completely solid. In between, people sometimes refer to "glitches" and "strange colours". Others talk about ghostly appearance.


Host comments in italics. Tulpa's log. Tulpa's guide.

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With practice, your imposition skills will eventually reach the point where the tulpa is indistinguishable from people in real life. Progress is often gradual, so you might have a tulpa that's see-through in the beginning, or as Tulpa said, you might even have visual "glitches" that can make your tulpa flicker or become distorted.

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Hmm, OK.

The thing here is that I can impose non-tulpa stuff quite solidly. Maybe it is blurry because her form isn't solid? No clue.

For me imposition feels easier to conceatrate than closed-eye visualization. Less intrusive thoughts, and her voice sounds clearer.

Well anyway, we got decades left to spend with, so skills arn't the problem, I guess.

 

And for today, we talked things out that bugged us for quiet a time. It was very emotional talk, we almoat cried. It ended well.

 

After that she just popped out of nowhere while I'm in the shower (visible to eye, like imposition) and nagged me about not showering throughly. I had no idea how it happened since I didn't impose her, rather she imposed herself. It was quiet interesting, exept for me being, you know, naked at the time. She did not care, and I didn't bother, so cleaner ankles was the result.

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Um, OK. Where do I start.

 

This is amazing. I got my enlightenment revisited, thanks to Jessie.

 

6 months ago, I "felt" duality. The enlightenment was so strong I could not think of anything else during the whole week.

And she just brought me back to that state. We were chatting at that time, casual chat, and she started criticizing every word of mine. I was like "Hey, we're just chatting. You don't need to do that" and she said "Deal with it, everything got its opposite" and mind=blown.

 

Some people might say "Wtf, I knew that from long time ago, if you get enlightened by that I'm a fkn Buddha." but no, enlightenment comes from small things, and you do meditation and all that s**ts to notice the small things.

 

When you have enlightenment, you will instinctively know that you just had an enlightenment. It feels amazing. It feels like to be born again or something.

Idk, some of you won't believe my story, but I'm gonna say this is the best meditation technique I ever used. It's not boring, it's interactive, and, you know, it's all awesome.

 

And she just asked me, "What happens if we die and become souls? Are we gonna be two ghosts or just one?" Seriously, her growth is fast.

 

Um how do I finish this.

Bye...?

 

Edit: Duality that 'Everything is made out of yin and yang', not 'Our body and mind are one' duality.

 

Ediit: I really don't know, maybe it's just me being insane.

 

Ediiit: "Look! Duality again!" ".....Where? How?" "Sanity cannot exist without insanity, and insanity cannot exist without sanity. HA!"

.....I'm scared.

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That is pretty cool. Not sure what to think of it, but you are the not the first person on this site I have talked to who mentioned enlightenment through contradiction.

 

Also, impressive growth, Jessie.


Host comments in italics. Tulpa's log. Tulpa's guide.

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I think it's gonna be a short report because we are very tired.

We thought about posting this tomorrow, but we could not hold our excitement.

OK, let's start.

(You should stop saying OK in the beginning.) 

Well, I named my log bumpy ride because I thought it would be a bumpy ride.

It turned out, not fitting name. Really. Everything is going rather smooth.

Today we tried possession and the first try, we succeeded. It was robotic and laggy (yeah laggy is a good description) but it also was a very wonderful moment for the both of us. The second try was better, I could not feel my arm and the movement was quiet natural.

It was fun and exciting but it made both of us very exhausted. Both mentally and physically we were drained, and to make matters worse we had to go on a full hour walk for our dog. Oh he doesn't walk actually, he spazzes out of excitement. Getting dragged by a dog for an hour isn't a calming experience.

Hot shower and a nice meal helped but we really need some sleep -actually only YOU need sleep- so I'm going to wrap up this log now.

Heh, the feeling of the first movement. I can still feel it, so amazing.

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